Macs don't crash!



  • Macs never crash, for any reason whatsoever! Macs are the most stable machines ever because the inside is lubricated with unicorn oil and the screen is tempered with rainbow light. They can't get viruses, they can't lock up, software and drivers never crash, and you don't need Ctrl-Alt-Delete.

    Well, unless you want to profile your app for CPU usage and see where it spends its time. Then it will go into a kernel panic every time and you'll have to power-cycle your Mac virtual machine. And every other virtual machine, because XCode/Instruments is so buggy it can crash other processes running on other operating systems running within other virtual machines on the same system.

    I wish I was kidding. We have a performance issue and I'm unable to trace it because the whole system goes supernova if I try to run the Time Profiler within Instruments. This would be like the parking garage two blocks away falling down and bursting into flame every time you go into your own garage and open the driver's door of your car.



  • All computers crash. Perhaps some more than others, but it's impossible to get an objective measurment. It really depends on what you do with it, and also the quality of the outside software you happen to be using.



  •  You're telling me that you do profiling on a virtual machine running OSX, and that a process on that VM crashes other VMs?



  • @GoatRider said:

    All computers crash. Perhaps some more than others, but it's impossible to get an objective measurment. It really depends on what you do with it, and also the quality of the outside software you happen to be using.

    And hardware too. You never know absolutely for certain if every single joint got a proper amount of solder, and every cable was placed 100% correctly...

    I once had a machine that was super tempermental, could not get it to stay running properly for more than a couple hours. After tons and tons of troubleshooting, i took it apart to try and find the problem. On the backside of the motherboard, near the memory pins (corresponding to the slots) I saw the tiniest bit of solder that had dripped down and was just shy of making contact with the case and the pin next to it. After I removed it carefully with a dremel, the machine was solid, as if it never had any problems at all.



  • @Master Chief said:

    On the backside of the motherboard, near the memory pins (corresponding to the slots) I saw the tiniest bit of solder that had dripped down and was just shy of making contact with the case and the pin next to it. After I removed it carefully with a dremel, the machine was solid, as if it never had any problems at all.
     

    Similar tale: had a tower with a PCI video card that wasn't properly attached to the backplate; only a minuscule amount of give but kit used to be transported out lying on their side and this lay with the mobo uppermost - the card would vibrate loose in transit and the machine would fail to POST at the other end. Upon return, it would be stacked the other way so the card would vibrate back into the slot and work perfectly when benched. It was only when we swapped video cards over with another machine did that machine exhibit similar symptoms but the original performed fine.

    A small amount of filing on the backplane to allow the card to sit deeper in the slot fixed that... but it was one of those annoying failures out in the field that couldn't be replicated back at base.



  • @Master Chief said:

    @GoatRider said:
    All computers crash. Perhaps some more than others, but it's impossible to get an objective measurment. It really depends on what you do with it, and also the quality of the outside software you happen to be using.

    And hardware too. You never know absolutely for certain if every single joint got a proper amount of solder, and every cable was placed 100% correctly...

    I once had a machine that was super tempermental, could not get it to stay running properly for more than a couple hours. After tons and tons of troubleshooting, i took it apart to try and find the problem. On the backside of the motherboard, near the memory pins (corresponding to the slots) I saw the tiniest bit of solder that had dripped down and was just shy of making contact with the case and the pin next to it. After I removed it carefully with a dremel, the machine was solid, as if it never had any problems at all.

    If you do that with a Mac, not only do you void the warranty, they will also send a Gap-clothed death squad.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    If you do that with a Mac, not only do you void the warranty, they will also send a Gap-clothed death squad.
     

    I think it would be a bit more upmarket than Gap, but hey, you'll die in style!



  • @mott555 said:

    it can crash other processes running on other operating systems running within other virtual machines on the same system.
    That's awesome!!



  • @mott555 said:

    I wish I was kidding. We have a performance issue and I'm unable to trace it because the whole system goes supernova if I try to run the Time Profiler within Instruments. This would be like the parking garage two blocks away falling down and bursting into flame every time you go into your own garage and open the driver's door of your car.
     

    Except, y'know, it's not actually another garage. It's a virtual garage that's actually built on your car's roof.

     



  • @Zylon said:

    @mott555 said:

    I wish I was kidding. We have a performance issue and I'm unable to trace it because the whole system goes supernova if I try to run the Time Profiler within Instruments. This would be like the parking garage two blocks away falling down and bursting into flame every time you go into your own garage and open the driver's door of your car.
     

    Except, y'know, it's not actually another garage. It's a virtual garage that's actually built on your car's roof.

     

    A closer analogy would be if you own two cars and driving one in rain causes the other one to require panel work. Whether or not both/either are parked in your double garage.

     



  • A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.

    -1. Needs more cars.



  • @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.

    -1. Needs more cowbell.

     FTFY



  • @da Doctah said:

    @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.

    -1. Needs more cowbell.

     FTFY

    +∞, best joke of 2012 so far!



  • @da Doctah said:

    @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.

    -1. Needs more cowbell.

     FTFY

     



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @da Doctah said:

    @RTapeLoadingError said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.

    -1. Needs more cowbell.

     FTFY

     

    Sound does not work. Probably another jQuery problem.



  • @Zemm said:

    A closer analogy would be if you own two cars and driving one in rain causes the other one to require panel work. Whether or not both/either are parked in your double garage.
    But we're talking a Mac virtual garage there, so it's made of Lego.

     



  • @blakeyrat said:

    A closer analogy would be like if you had a can of Coke and you drank from the can but then you found something hard inside and you bit down on it and it was disgusting so you spit it out and tried to find it but you couldn't so you went to your local Coke bottling plant and it turns out the guy in charge is Jaleel White who played Urkel on Family Matters and you ask him to do his "did I do that?" line but he gets mad at you so you don't get any coupons for a free Coke.
     

    Don't eat rarebits before bed.



  • @Severity One said:

    But we're talking a Mac virtual garage there, so it's made of Meccano.

    All that aluminium doesn't work with plastic Lego. Mac virtual systems are cobbled together with loose screws and holes.



  • @Zemm said:

    loose screws and holes.

    This reminds me, the weekend in Vegas is coming soon!



  • Indeed, Macs never cr- [beachball]



  • @mott555 said:

    Macs never crash, for any reason whatsoever! Macs are the most stable machines ever because the inside is lubricated with unicorn oil and the screen is tempered with rainbow light. They can't get viruses, they can't lock up, software and drivers never crash, and you don't need Ctrl-Alt-Delete.

    1998 called, they have prior art and therefore have copyright on this thread.


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