Lotus Notes: Spearheading the social/mobile web revolution!



  • @MatNewman said:

    I jump on the Twitter search every now and then responding to poeple's comments in an attempt to help them out. In a few cases that has lead to a consulting gig and some $$.

    Brilliant. I Solve Lotus Notes Problems In 140 Characters Or Less



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Wow it just now found a thread from May 17th. That's actually pretty good performance, by Notes standards. Hey, just FYI, in about a month you're going to learn about this thing called "Microsoft Surface". It's pretty fucking sweet. Might even run Notes... 12 years from now when IBM finally figures it the fuck out. (I figure that's about right-- it only took them about 12 years to figure out how to work well with Windows NT's multi-user features.)

    LOL, no, the feed reader updates every few minutes, but it needs an up-to-date source to provide it with data :-)



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Brilliant. I Solve Lotus Notes Problems In 140 Characters Or Less
     

     Yep, sometimes it is that simple.



  • @MatNewman said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    Wow it just now found a thread from May 17th. That's actually pretty good performance, by Notes standards. Hey, just FYI, in about a month you're going to learn about this thing called "Microsoft Surface". It's pretty fucking sweet. Might even run Notes... 12 years from now when IBM finally figures it the fuck out. (I figure that's about right-- it only took them about 12 years to figure out how to work well with Windows NT's multi-user features.)

    LOL, no, the feed reader updates every few minutes, but it needs an up-to-date source to provide it with data :-)

    Stop wasting your time here, Heather needs you!

    Edit: scratch that, after seeing her Twitter profile I don't think she deservers to be helped: Lovely thoughts from a search & social media analyst in Chicago, IL.

    I hate social media analyst more than I hate the discount Lotus Notes GeekSquad.



  • @Vanders said:

    @Someone You Know said:
    To be fair, Notes 8 (the first Eclipse-based version) made the Notes UI look a lot better than previous versions.

    Would it have been possible to have made it worse? I mean, Lotus Notes sets the bar pretty low.

    "It's not worse" is usually the best you can say about a new version of Notes.@blakeyrat said:
    Notes users are stupid. Well, I guess that's
    pretty self-evident-- smarter people would have found a decent email
    client long ago.
    Nobody uses Notes at home, where they can choose any e-mail client they want. The only people using Notes are at work where they have no choice in the matter.  If you work some place where you can choose your own e-mail client, hey that's great!  I envy you.  But most of use are not that lucky.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    It's a good thing that you took the time to explain that it was only a bug in CS and that Lotus Notes did not, after all, cause a break in space-time continuum.
     

     Indeed. We're still feeding ships and planes into a dead zone off the cost of Bermuda after someone idiot divided by zero. I wanted to head your theories of Notes capabilities off at the pass to avoid panic.  

    @MatNewman said:

    and this site came up in my copyscape notification feed - in Lotus Notes feed-reader, of course

    It took two months for that? Or you just didn't notice it for two months? Or Notes feed-reader refreshes every 60 days? Or for two months we weren't important enough.. and now we've come upon the radar for some reason?

    The conspiracy thickens...



  • @Cassidy said:

    It took two months for that? Or you just didn't notice it for two months? Or Notes feed-reader refreshes every 60 days? Or for two months we weren't important enough.. and now we've come upon the radar for some reason?

    The conspiracy thickens...

     

    I'm glad Copyscape did finally pick it up, otherwise I wouldn't had a clue this thread existed :-)



  • @El_Heffe said:

    Nobody uses Notes at home, where they can choose any e-mail client they want. The only people using Notes are at work where they have no choice in the matter. If you work some place where you can choose your own e-mail client, hey that's great! I envy you. But most of use are not that lucky.

    I don't take jobs with companies that use Notes. There's no clearer indicator that the company's soul is stone-dead, and they will never produce an innovative or even usable product.

    I worried I'd have to quit my last job when they switched to Notes-- fortunately they didn't. I quit for other reasons, primarily going 2 years without a pay raise.



  • @MatNewman said:

    I'm glad Copyscape did finally pick it up, otherwise I wouldn't had a clue this thread existed :-)

    This site has quite a few "Notes is shit" threads, more than one created by me. I'd link you to a couple, but your smiley and avatar image are combining to give me the irresistible urge to punch you right in the mouth and I'm trying to work it out by hitting a pillow. It's not working very well.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I quit for other reasons, primarily going 2 years without a pay raise.
     

    That sucks. So would working for a company that was clueless enough to only use Notes for email.  I see too many of those :-(



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I don't take jobs with companies that use Notes. There's no clearer indicator that the company's soul is stone-dead, and they will never produce an innovative or even usable product.
    I work for a company that has been in business for over 100 years, is very profitable and has created many good and widely used products.  I guarantee you use a few of them.  Notes sucks shit, but your claim is simply wrong.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @MatNewman said:
    I'm glad Copyscape did finally pick it up, otherwise I wouldn't had a clue this thread existed :-)

    This site has quite a few "Notes is shit" threads, more than one created by me. I'd link you to a couple, but your smiley and avatar image are combining to give me the irresistible urge to punch you right in the mouth and I'm trying to work it out by hitting a pillow. It's not working very well.

    This guy does not exist for real, you are simply haunted by past sins like the dudes in Flatliners. You have to make peace with Lotus Notes and he will go away.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    I don't take jobs with companies that use Notes. There's no clearer indicator that the company's soul is stone-dead, and they will never produce an innovative or even usable product.
    I work for a company that has been in business for over 100 years, is very profitable and has created many good and widely used products.  I guarantee you use a few of them.  Notes sucks shit, but your claim is simply wrong.

    Standard Oil?



  • @C-Octothorpe said:

    @boomzilla said:
    Or is he just as clueless as putting "THE Lotus Notes Guy" in his bio makes him look?
    I equate this to "THE herpes guy". Not something you should be proud of. In fact, there is probably medication for both diseases...
    The proper medication for a case of Lotus Notes comes in a variety of calibers, and is best applied intracranially.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @Ben L. said:

    Nobody noticed the two-month necro?

    I think that admitting to liking Lotus Notes more than makes up for the necro. Plus, it happened while I was asleep.



  • I used lotus notes for 3 months in 2006, as a user. I still have nightmares.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    I work for a company that has been in business for over 100 years, is very profitable and has created many good and widely used products. I guarantee you use a few of them. Notes sucks shit, but your claim is simply wrong.

    Yeah ok I'm sure MacClannigan's Old Fashioned Lubricated Flatbed Rolling Stock Cylindrical Bearings are great, but I was talking about products that are sold to the general public.



  • Hey Lotus guy,

    If you could pick just one feature, what would you say is THE best thing about using Lotus Notes? What is that one feature you would just love love love to see transplanted into all apps so that they could all be as wonderful as Notes? If you were starting your own software company developing some unrelated program, what would be that one thing you copy from Notes in order to emulate its greatness?


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @El_Heffe said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    I don't take jobs with companies that use Notes. There's no clearer indicator that the company's soul is stone-dead, and they will never produce an innovative or even usable product.

    I work for a company that has been in business for over 100 years, is very profitable and has created many good and widely used products.  I guarantee you use a few of them.  Notes sucks shit, but your claim is simply wrong.

    Must be one of those days ending in 'y'. Seriously though, if we compiled the WTFs in Notes, would there be more or less of them than blakeyrat-approved justifications for quitting or not taking a job at a company?



  • ...Is this some kind of new SpecateSwamp thread now?



  • @mott555 said:

    ...Is this some kind of new SpecateSwamp thread now?

    I hope so!!



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    @MatNewman said:
    I'm glad Copyscape did finally pick it up, otherwise I wouldn't had a clue this thread existed :-)
    This site has quite a few "Notes is shit" threads, more than one created by me. I'd link you to a couple, but your smiley and avatar image are combining to give me the irresistible urge to punch you right in the mouth and I'm trying to work it out by hitting a pillow. It's not working very well.

    This guy does not exist for real, you are simply haunted by past sins like the dudes in Flatliners. You have to make peace with Lotus Notes and he will go away.

    Either that, or a prepubescent girl...  Outside of HR or marketing, I don't know of any self-respecting adults, male or female, that abuse smilies as much as he does.


  • @Xyro said:

    Hey Lotus guy,

    If you could pick just one feature, what would you say is THE best thing about using Lotus Notes? What is that one feature you would just love love love to see transplanted into all apps so that they could all be as wonderful as Notes? If you were starting your own software company developing some unrelated program, what would be that one thing you copy from Notes in order to emulate its greatness?

    Definitely the hieroglyphics on the logon form. I heard they had to remove them because one time in an office in Laramie the random characters happened to be an ancien spell, waking Anubis from the dead and causing endless calls to animal services.

    Maybe the Smiley Lotus Notes TweetSquad dude can confirm.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Definitely the hieroglyphics on the logon form. I heard they had to remove them because one time in an office in Laramie the random characters happened to be an ancien spell, waking Anubis from the dead and causing endless calls to animal services.

    Maybe the Smiley Lotus Notes TweetSquad dude can confirm.

    No way man. Notes' best feature is the .id file you need for every user, that you need to copy to every user's machine before they can log in. I can't tell you how many hours .id files have saved-- they never disappear, get corrupted, or need to be regenerated. And since they need to be copied to each machine after Notes is installed, they prevent your IT staff from being tempted by the evils of system images. In fact, Notes' security is so good they helpfully refuse to give you an easy way to do single-sign-on using the Active Directory password and force their far superior .id file system on you.

    Yes I know Notes has a configuration to "automatically" copy the .id files around. Before you "correct" me. And yes I know that the version I administered was 6.5 and it probably has single-sign-on now. Before you "correct" me.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Definitely the hieroglyphics on the logon form. I heard they had to remove them because one time in an office in Laramie the random characters happened to be an ancien spell, waking Anubis from the dead and causing endless calls to animal services.

    Maybe the Smiley Lotus Notes TweetSquad dude can confirm.

    No way man. Notes' best feature is the .id file you need for every user, that you need to copy to every user's machine before they can log in. I can't tell you how many hours .id files have saved-- they never disappear, get corrupted, or need to be regenerated. And since they need to be copied to each machine after Notes is installed, they prevent your IT staff from being tempted by the evils of system images. In fact, Notes' security is so good they helpfully refuse to give you an easy way to do single-sign-on using the Active Directory password and force their far superior .id file system on you.

    Yes I know Notes has a configuration to "automatically" copy the .id files around. Before you "correct" me. And yes I know that the version I administered was 6.5 and it probably has single-sign-on now. Before you "correct" me.

    Lotus Notes has built-in single-sign-on: once you sign-on for the first time you never want to use it again.



  • @Xyro said:

    If you could pick just one feature, what would you say is THE best thing about using Lotus Notes? What is that one feature you would just love love love to see transplanted into all apps so that they could all be as wonderful as Notes? If you were starting your own software company developing some unrelated program, what would be that one thing you copy from Notes in order to emulate its greatness?
     

    easy: Integration.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @MatNewman said:

    @Xyro said:

    If you could pick just one feature, what would you say is THE best thing about using Lotus Notes? What is that one feature you would just love love love to see transplanted into all apps so that they could all be as wonderful as Notes? If you were starting your own software company developing some unrelated program, what would be that one thing you copy from Notes in order to emulate its greatness?
     

    easy: Integration.

    Dang. I was going to guess pixels.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Yes I know Notes has a configuration to "automatically" copy the .id files around. Before you "correct" me. And yes I know that the version I administered was 6.5 and it probably has single-sign-on now. Before you "correct" me.
     

    Lotus Notes has had central storage of ID files since version 4.5, that was 1995. Automatic backup and the ability to restore id files was a feature included in 5, that was 1998.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    Is it me or this guy joined *after* he posted? WHAT IS GOING ON!!! OMG LOTUS NOTES HAS BROKEN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM

     

    @MatNewman said:

    I just LOVE that Lotus Notes allows me to select the correct time zone while scheduling a meeting

    The power of Notes.  Derp.



  • @Zemm said:

    I used lotus notes for 3 months in 2006, as a user. I still have nightmares.
     

    So what bullshit crap did your admin subject you too?



  • @MatNewman said:

    easy: Integration.

    "Integration" is a feature? What does that even mean? Has Notes destroyed your ability to think like a human being, you think only in buzzwords? That's my guess.

    @MatNewman said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    Yes I know Notes has a configuration to "automatically" copy the .id files around. Before you "correct" me. And yes I know that the version I administered was 6.5 and it probably has single-sign-on now. Before you "correct" me.
    Lotus Notes has had central storage of ID files since version 4.5, that was 1995. Automatic backup and the ability to restore id files was a feature included in 5, that was 1998.

    What kind of asshole reads my disclaimer there and then corrects me ANYWAY? What is wrong with you?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @MatNewman said:
    easy: Integration.

    "Integration" is a feature? What does that even mean? Has Notes destroyed your ability to think like a human being, you think only in buzzwords? That's my guess.

    All the Lotus Notes tools work with Lotus Notes, which means Lotus Notes is fully integrated. So it's like Office + Exchange + SharePoint, except the tools suck and are ugly.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    What kind of asshole reads my disclaimer there and then corrects me ANYWAY?
     

     This one.

     Didn't you know about the Escrow agent or ID backup and recovery when you were a Notes 'Admin'? Or did the company you worked with have a process to copy id files to a network drive and that's the only way you were shown how to manage them?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @MatNewman said:
    easy: Integration.

    "Integration" is a feature? What does that even mean? Has Notes destroyed your ability to think like a human being, you think only in buzzwords? That's my guess.

    @MatNewman said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    Yes I know Notes has a configuration to "automatically" copy the .id files around. Before you "correct" me. And yes I know that the version I administered was 6.5 and it probably has single-sign-on now. Before you "correct" me.
    Lotus Notes has had central storage of ID files since version 4.5, that was 1995. Automatic backup and the ability to restore id files was a feature included in 5, that was 1998.

    What kind of asshole reads my disclaimer there and then corrects me ANYWAY? What is wrong with you?

     

    I vote blakeyrat:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0n-Ayc8_7h4#t=203s

     



  • @blakeyrat said:

    "Integration" is a feature? What does that even mean?
     

    It means I dont have to jump through hoops with 13 different 'apps' to get my work done, to find the information I need, or to share it with those who need it.



  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    All the Lotus Notes tools work with Lotus Notes, which means Lotus Notes is fully integrated. So it's like Office + Exchange + SharePoint,
     

    Oh, you mean all the Lotus Notes tools like Twitter, Linkedin, Facebook, Evernote, Dropbox, Google and this web site?




  • This thread has roughly doubled the amount of Notes discussion on the internet in 2012.



  • @MatNewman said:

    Didn't you know about the Escrow agent or ID backup and recovery when you were a Notes 'Admin'? Or did the company you worked with have a process to copy id files to a network drive and that's the only way you were shown how to manage them?

    Dude, first of all, don't make me think about those years because basically supporting Notes is the worst period of my life.

    For what it's worth, the organization was a small-ish regional hospital with a staff of about 250 employees, and no we didn't have "the escrow agent", and our ID backup consisted of storing them on the network drive.

    That hospital got fucked over by IBM. Fucked over. They had to run a OS/400 server to use their MedSeries 4 software, I understand that-- the criminal part is that IBM then stormed-in and sold them this pile of shit known as "Lotus Notes" as their groupware solution. They sold it as email and calendaring. It's shit for that task. They were paying more per head than Outlook/Exchange cost. It was fucking criminal.

    The reason they still had it during my tenure is because their IT guy was a lazy asshole and offloaded his entire workload on whatever fresh-out-of-college loser he could find. Which, for a few years, was me.

    @Helix said:

    I vote blakeyrat:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0n-Ayc8_7h4#t=203s

    Blakeyrat for President!

    Here's what's awesome about that video:

    1) Slight British accent-- always classy

    2) Baby/small child crying in background

    3) Him installing as a Single User. No. Wrong. Why does that option even exist? Why IBM? What fucking century is it in your little world? Single-user OSes are dead. Win32: DEAD. Mac Classic: DEAD. Please fix your fucking software. Fix it. (Oh and BTW: all Lotus Notes installs were Single User until version, IIRC, 6.5. Released in 2003. Long after single user OSes could no longer be purchased from stores.)

    3) The sheer, sheer quantity of steps you need to follow (including the ID file copy). The equivalent Outlook video would be like 7 seconds long. "You run the installer, you click Install, you wait 25 seconds, then you open it and single-sign-on automatically does everything else." 5 minutes of this? 5 minutes to install an email client? That is disgraceful! You should be ashamed of yourself for even tolerating this!



  • @MatNewman said:

    Oh, you mean all the Lotus Notes tools like Twitter, Linkedin, Facebook, Evernote, Dropbox, Google and this web site?


    Your image tag is missing any info about where it's supposed to be pulling things from, but am I correct in assuming that it is a bunch of website logos?



  • He managed to include an alt, but neglected to include a src.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    He managed to include an alt, but neglected to include a src.

    Looks like it got edited so that the image will actually show up now, giving the impressive demonstration of integration that is (at least what appears to be) having a web browser.



  • That's integrate-tastic.

    It's somehow fitting to see Community Server loaded in a Lotus Notes tab.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    "You run the installer, you click Install, you wait 25 seconds, then you open it and single-sign-on automatically does everything else."
    Huh? You just push out Outlook with Group Policy, it installs automatically, and the user just runs it.



  • @ender said:

    Huh? You just push out Outlook with Group Policy, it installs automatically, and the user just runs it.

    I was throwing him a bone.

    But yes, in the Microsoft world that video would simply not exist because there's no need for it.



  • @MatNewman said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    All the Lotus Notes tools work with Lotus Notes, which means Lotus Notes is fully integrated. So it's like Office + Exchange + SharePoint,
     

    Oh, you mean all the Lotus Notes tools like Twitter, Linkedin, Facebook, Evernote, Dropbox, Google and this web site?


    No idea. The picture is too small and I'm not Control-Plussing for people who are too cheap to put up a readable picture.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Dude, first of all, don't make me think about those years because basically supporting Notes is the worst period of my life.
     

    I feel your pain. There are special places in the Notes hall of shame for that IT guy.

    @blakeyrat said:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0n-Ayc8_7h4#t=203s

    Vaughan was stepping through the process and explaining what the options mean. He's from New Zealand.

    Everything in that video can be scripted so the user doesn't even see it.

    Notes SSO was a option included in version 6. It was (and still is) a check-box during the software install.  It could have been included in your image BTW. Also, we were configuring Notes 5 in 1998 so that it was multi-user, it only had to be configured on the base image.

     

     






  • @Speakerphone Dude said:

    @MatNewman said:

    @Speakerphone Dude said:

    All the Lotus Notes tools work with Lotus Notes, which means Lotus Notes is fully integrated. So it's like Office + Exchange + SharePoint,
     

    Oh, you mean all the Lotus Notes tools like Twitter, Linkedin, Facebook, Evernote, Dropbox, Google and this web site?


    No idea. The picture is too small and I'm not Control-Plussing for people who are too cheap to put up a readable picture.

    I was curious and followed the trail of bad pixels then found out that this lousy screen shot is hosted on a Domino web server. You really are committed to Lotus Notes, I'll give you that, but maybe you are mistaking this forum for a convention floor where people are interested in the stuff you sell.

    Lotus Notes is a horrible product, I don't know what happened in your youth to lead you in this career path but thinking that you spend your entire days working in Notes and promoting Notes is depressing. No wonder you need all those yellow clothes and gloves to cheer you up.


  • ♿ (Parody)

    @MatNewman said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    "Integration" is a feature? What does that even mean?

    It means I dont have to jump through hoops with 13 different 'apps' to get my work done, to find the information I need, or to share it with those who need it.

    If you really want a single app meant to facilitate sharing...wow...it really is turning into a new SSDS thread!



  • @MatNewman said:

    Also, we were configuring Notes 5 in 1998 so that it was multi-user, it only had to be configured on the base image.

    Liar.

    I used the install CDs straight from IBM. The yellow dudes with the big fat IBM logo on the top (and copies I burned of them, since we only had 5 or so of the originals and we had to reinstall that shitty program a lot). The CD for 6.0.8 (IIRC) had no option to install multi-user. The CD of 6.5.1 did.

    Lotus Notes did not have that option in version 5 unless you hacked it in there manually. You liar.


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