Now you face.... the shredder



  • My desk is right across from the printer, shredder, etc on my floor. So, this lady from another department comes along with a stack of papers to shred. She starts feeding them in two or three sheets at a time, as one does, but she must have gotten impatient. She decided to shove the whole novel-sized stack in the shredder.

    Now, I'm sure there exist shredders than can handle this. Ours is one of those little ones that hang on the edge of a waste bin, and surprising no one, it jams. She starts trying to pull the sheets out, but they're not budging. She glances around, and then just decides to leave it. Obviously, someone else's problem, right?

    Of course, she forgot about the large workforce behind her. I coughed, pretending not to be watching. She spins around, sees that yes, other people do in fact exist, and quickly goes back to the shredder to try and un-jam it, as though she had never left. I then pretended to just notice her, and ask if she needed help. I then proceeded to show her the reverse button on the shredder, allowing her to extricate her documents.

    Bonus WTF: After unjamming it, she just tossed the papers in the recycling bin without giving the shredder a second go.



  • @pkmnfrk said:

    My desk is right across from the printer, shredder, etc on my floor.

    I was expecting this tale...




  • Ah, cheap office equipment... why spend more money on better stuff when you can just annoy your employees to death one small irritation at a time? Still if she's going to act like a dumb (can't reverse the shredder feed) bitch (pass her problem to someone else) I have very little sympathy for her.



  • @Cassidy said:

    @pkmnfrk said:

    My desk is right across from the printer, shredder, etc on my floor.

    I was expecting this tale...

     


    Big whoop.  If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles could handle him, he's no match for anyone here.

     



  •  I had an old boss who would put all sorts of things into the shredder that weren't meant to go in there, like stapled documents (it was only a cheap one and the metal used to grind on the staples), bits of plastic, and he routinely shoved in too much paper. The piece de resistance was when he tried to unblock it with a pair of scissors (yet another that didn't seem to know what the button labelled reverse actually did) while it was switched on. The scissors remained intact, but the shredder had several blades screwed right up.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

     I once screwed up a shredder. A pretty high-buck one, too. See, as a group we discovered that it would shred damn near anything. So, naturally, we went and nabbed some bogroll and set it up for continuous feed. Somehow, it seems that the TP dulled the blades, or something.



  •  I don't use paper.

    Mostly.



  • @pkmnfrk said:

    Bonus WTF: After unjamming it, she just tossed the papers in the recycling bin without giving the shredder a second go.
     

    This is why every business needs an incinerator. Or atleast a burn barrel. Not only is fire simpler, it can do a better job of eradicating information. Plus you can use the ashes to de-ice the sidewalk in the winter.



  • @mrsparkyman said:

    @pkmnfrk said:

    Bonus WTF: After unjamming it, she just tossed the papers in the recycling bin without giving the shredder a second go.
     

    This is why every business needs an incinerator. Or atleast a burn barrel. Not only is fire simpler, it can do a better job of eradicating information. Plus you can use the ashes to de-ice the sidewalk in the winter.

     

    And you can brush your teeth with it too (http://www.teethwhiteningreviews.com/artman/publish/teeth_whitening_home_remedies.php), perfect for pulling those all-nighters at the office

     



  • @Weng said:

    So, naturally, we went and nabbed some bogroll and set it up for continuous feed. Somehow, it seems that the TP dulled the blades, or something.

    @dhromed said:

    I don't use paper.

    Don't worry, it shouldn't dull your.. sharp bits.



  • @ASheridan said:

    @mrsparkyman said:

    @pkmnfrk said:

    Bonus WTF: After unjamming it, she just tossed the papers in the recycling bin without giving the shredder a second go.
     

    This is why every business needs an incinerator. Or atleast a burn barrel. Not only is fire simpler, it can do a better job of eradicating information. Plus you can use the ashes to de-ice the sidewalk in the winter.

     

    And you can brush your teeth with it too

    I wouldn't brush my teeth with an incinerator.

    A good curry tends to have the same effect, and is nutritious, to boot.



  • @dhromed said:

     I mostly don't use paper.

    Mostly.

    ATFY.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @dhromed said:

     I mostly don't use paper.

    Mostly.

    ATFY.

     

    I don't understand.

     



  • @dhromed said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    @dhromed said:
    I mostly don't use paper.

    Mostly.

    ATFY.

    I don't understand.

    Aliens.

     



  • @Weng said:

     I once screwed up a shredder. A pretty high-buck one, too. See, as a group we discovered that it would shred damn near anything. So, naturally, we went and nabbed some bogroll and set it up for continuous feed. Somehow, it seems that the TP dulled the blades, or something.

    You can just imagine what the stuff does to your bum.

     



  • Shredding is not definitive enough, since you can still recycle the paper. I'd rather use all the paper that should be eliminated to feed a bonfire.



  • @Renan said:

    Shredding is not definitive enough, since you can still recycle the paper. I'd rather use all the paper that should be eliminated to feed a bonfire.
    I tried that, but the building management wasn't impressed with my cubicle marshmallow-roast attempt.


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