Well...



  •  I turned 30 last friday, get married next saturday, and start a new, awesome, job next monday.  I figure I should start looking at walkers, diapers, and viagra; but what else?



  • @galgorah said:

     I turned 30 last friday, get married next saturday, and start a new, awesome, job next monday.  I figure I should start looking at walkers, diapers, and viagra; but what else?

    Burial preparations?



  • @galgorah said:

     I turned 30 last friday, get married next saturday, and start a new, awesome, job next monday.  I figure I should start looking at walkers, diapers, and viagra; but what else?

    Love marriage or arranged marriage?



  • @serguey123 said:

    Burial preparations?

    No no no.  Go with cremation and big fans at a wake, see how many friends and family you can get to choke.



  • @galgorah said:

     I turned 30 last friday, get married next saturday, and start a new, awesome, job next monday.  I figure I should start looking at walkers, diapers, and viagra; but what else?

     

    Make out two conflicting wills, registered in different jurisdictions, and make sure both of them specify the disposition of items that you don't actually own (ideally items that don't even exist).

    You can chuckle yourself to sleep at night for the rest of your life at the thought of your relatives accusing one another of stealing the non-existent items.

     



  • I would not do an arranged marriage.  Also I am not sleepy.  Perhaps as a condition to receive said non existent items, I force some sort of wacky mis-adventure.  Also cremation is too expensive, just throw me in a ditch.  If the burial costs exceed $50 my relatives have over paid.

     



  • @galgorah said:

    I would not do an arranged marriage.  Also I am not sleepy.  Perhaps as a condition to receive said non existent items, I force some sort of wacky mis-adventure.  Also cremation is too expensive, just throw me in a ditch.  If the burial costs exceed $50 my relatives have over paid.

    how do you know if stars are aligned? horoscope is important.



  •  You'll know by the creeping sense of madness in your soul



  • @galgorah said:

    If the burial costs exceed $50 my relatives have over paid.

    Then I suggest that you leave instructions to just abandon your body (or maybe science donation) as the only way you are getting within orders of magnitude of that is if non-relatives are picking up the tab (plus the ditch can bring charges of abandoning a body).



  • @galgorah said:

     I turned 30 last friday, get married next saturday, and start a new, awesome, job next monday.  I figure I should start looking at walkers, diapers, and viagra; but what else?

    Part hard, really hard while you can. It's unlikely you'll be getting married and into an awesome job at the same time by the time you're turning 40 or 50.



  • @locallunatic said:

    @galgorah said:

    If the burial costs exceed $50 my relatives have over paid.

    Then I suggest that you leave instructions to just abandon your body (or maybe science donation) as the only way you are getting within orders of magnitude of that is if non-relatives are picking up the tab (plus the ditch can bring charges of abandoning a body).

    Mehh, a basement, big jars or a patch of land and a shovel don't cost that much



  • @galgorah said:

    (...)Also cremation is too expensive(...)

    Just how much does a gallon of gas cost where you live?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Nagesh said:

    @galgorah said:

    I would not do an arranged marriage.  Also I am not sleepy.  Perhaps as a condition to receive said non existent items, I force some sort of wacky mis-adventure.  Also cremation is too expensive, just throw me in a ditch.  If the burial costs exceed $50 my relatives have over paid.

    how do you know if stars are aligned? horoscope is important.

    Especially if you were born under Ophiuchus.



  • @PJH said:

    @Nagesh said:

    @galgorah said:

    I would not do an arranged marriage.  Also I am not sleepy.  Perhaps as a condition to receive said non existent items, I force some sort of wacky mis-adventure.  Also cremation is too expensive, just throw me in a ditch.  If the burial costs exceed $50 my relatives have over paid.

    how do you know if stars are aligned? horoscope is important.

    Especially if you were born under Ophiuchus.
    I was born under the sign of Azathoth.  Just dump my corpse in the tiger cage at a zoo



  • @galgorah said:

    I was born under the sign of Azathoth.

    I was brought back to life by means of a secret rite that can be performed once a century when the moon is in the eighth of somewhere.

    Unfortunately, my evil assistants accidentally used ketchup instead of blood.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @galgorah said:
    I was born under the sign of Azathoth.

    I was brought back to life by means of a secret rite that can be performed once a century when the moon is in the eighth of somewhere.

    Unfortunately, my evil assistants accidentally used ketchup instead of blood.

    All of you western people, remember rebirth is not happen in same body. You have to come back in different body and complete task assignment given to your soul. nobody escapes without complete of task assignment given to soul.



  • @PJH said:

    Especially if you were born under Ophiuchus.
    A lot of people make this mistake. Ophiuchus is one of the thirteen constellations on the ecliptic but is not one of the twelve astrological signs. Astrological signs are nothing to do with constellations except a historical reference; and they are named after twelve of the thirteen constellations of the ecliptic. Astrological signs are a unit of measurement along the ecliptic; each sign is 30 degrees, and it is similar to using month/day on a calendar instead of just using day numbers. Similarly astrological signs can be used instead of directly degrees, or vice versa. These are using ecliptic coordinates. But the other kind of celestial coordinates is equatorial coordinates. On a world map, you can see the "Tropic of Cancer" and "Tropic of Capricorn". When the ecliptic position of the sun is at the beginning of the sign Cancer (90 degrees) and Capricorn (270 degrees), the sun declination will be at the corresponding tropics.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @zzo38 said:

    @PJH said:
    Especially if you were born under Ophiuchus.
    A lot of people make this mistake.
    And far too many people take it too seriously.



  • @galgorah said:

    but what else?
     

    Play Mincraft, Terraria or Battlefield, just like you always did.



  • @Renan said:

    Part hard, really hard while you can.
     

    Guy is having a midlife crisis and you offer him hair-styling tips?



  • @da Doctah said:

    Guy is having a midlife crisis and you offer him hair-styling tips?
     

    Comb over to my place and part all night evening long!



  • Sorry. I really meant part<font size="8">y</font> hard.



  • esta part y hard



  • @Renan said:

    Sorry. I really meant part<font size="8">y</font> hard.
     

    Remembering the "repun umop" joke, you surely should use <font size="8">λ</font> calculus more and more (as you're no longer in the VB age-range).



  • @flop said:

    "repun umop"
     

    yeah mma



  • @galgorah said:

     I turned 30 last friday, get married next saturday, and start a new, awesome, job next monday.  I figure I should start looking at walkers, diapers, and viagra; but what else?

     

    If you're planning to have kids (I'm assuming that's what the nappies would be for) then I'd make the most of the spare time you have now.  You may not realise how much spare time you have but you'll certainly notice it when it's gone.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @RTapeLoadingError said:

    You may not realise how much spare time you have but you'll certainly notice it when it's gone.
    Empirical evidence suggests this would apply to money as well.



  • @PJH said:

    @RTapeLoadingError said:
    You may not realise how much spare time you have but you'll certainly notice it when it's gone.
    Empirical evidence suggests this would apply to money as well.

    Live like poor person all your life, you never miss money.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.