Use my schedule instead. Oh, and this one too.



  • I wrote in this thread (which is now mostly country-name puns) that I was put in charge of software QA schedules.  My proposal to increase the time allotted for QA was rejected by management here because adding 1 extra day was "unrealistic" and was told "we can't be spending that much time on QA".

    Today, while arranging things in accordance with the insane schedule that leaves my team with only 9 minutes to QA each component (which ought to rightfully take 20 to 60 minutes), I was told that my QA plan was not acceptable either - that I couldn't overwork the employees and have them come in on Saturday.

    So my boss told me to follow a new schedule.

    It was the same identical schedule that I has proposed days earlier and was told was unrealistic and couldn't work to meet the hard-and-fast deadlines. The same schedule I'd sent to the vendor, and was then told by my boss to go back and tell the vendor to ignore my proposal.

    And even though we'd be following this "new" QA schedule, I'm not allowed to actually show it to the vendor - because, management thinks, if we tell the vendor when we really need the deadline to be, then they won't get the work done as quickly and will miss the deadline - plus, if they miss the deadline with the insane schedule, we're still in somewhat good shape schedule-wise, and then get to use it as a bargaining chip for price negotiations.

    I went to my boss' boss, and he tells me that in fact there is a third top-secret schedule which I should have been made aware of several months ago, which shows the actual deadlines.

    So now I have three schedules to plan around: the ridiculously insane ultra fast schedule which the vendor is supposed to follow, the "real" schedule which I and my team are supposed to follow but not tell the vendor about, and the actual schedule which no one but management is supposed to know about.

    I do not get paid anywhere near enough for this.



  • I would say I can't belize this, but this sounds somewhat familiar.



  • I like to propose that this thread should also be used for lame country puns



  • @KrakenLover said:

    I wrote in this thread (which is now mostly country-name puns) that I was put in charge of software QA schedules.  My proposal to increase the time allotted for QA was rejected by management here because adding 1 extra day was "unrealistic" and was told "we can't be spending that much time on QA".

    Today, while arranging things in accordance with the insane schedule that leaves my team with only 9 minutes to QA each component (which ought to rightfully take 20 to 60 minutes), I was told that my QA plan was not acceptable either - that I couldn't overwork the employees and have them come in on Saturday.

    So my boss told me to follow a new schedule.

    It was the same identical schedule that I has proposed days earlier and was told was unrealistic and couldn't work to meet the hard-and-fast deadlines. The same schedule I'd sent to the vendor, and was then told by my boss to go back and tell the vendor to ignore my proposal.

    And even though we'd be following this "new" QA schedule, I'm not allowed to actually show it to the vendor - because, management thinks, if we tell the vendor when we really need the deadline to be, then they won't get the work done as quickly and will miss the deadline - plus, if they miss the deadline with the insane schedule, we're still in somewhat good shape schedule-wise, and then get to use it as a bargaining chip for price negotiations.

    I went to my boss' boss, and he tells me that in fact there is a third top-secret schedule which I should have been made aware of several months ago, which shows the actual deadlines.

    So now I have three schedules to plan around: the ridiculously insane ultra fast schedule which the vendor is supposed to follow, the "real" schedule which I and my team are supposed to follow but not tell the vendor about, and the actual schedule which no one but management is supposed to know about.

    I do not get paid anywhere near enough for this.

    When you read Dilbert, don't take it as a humorous comic, but rather as a survival guide. That's what I always say.



  • What you don't know, is that there's a supersecret 4th schedule which managers and supervisors don't know about, but Directors and VPs know about.

    Of course, it's hand-etched into gold-leafed bricks of unobtanium, and kept hidden by a grue-eating monster in a sub-sub basement of your building that only exists occasionally in random high-level dimensions, and only available if you can tap-dance the theme song to the CEO's favorite tv show on the boardroom table at midnight on the night of the full moon.

    I'm pretty sure none of my vendors do QA, and use my production boxes as QA, so good on ya for actually being part of the solution. Even if you've got to keep three arbitrary schedules tied together.



  • Sounds like your management team knows a little something about the complex interactions between procrastination and unforeseen technical challenges.  Not a WTF!



  • @frits said:

    Sounds like your management team knows a little something about the complex interactions between procrastination and unforeseen technical challenges.  Not a WTF!

    Except that none of those schedules take that into account.  All of the schedules are based on guesses, assumptions, and created with a total lack of technical knowledge or understanding of the scope of the project.  And there is so much confusion about all the different schedules (keep in mind, just because there are "three" schedules, that doesn't mean that each of the managers doesn't have their own version - they all keep that stuff separate, so who knows what they're thinking).

    Even with the super secret third schedule, projects are rarely completed on time.

    And all the employees are told that they are being held accountable to either the first or second schedules - which are usually insane.  That's why we have such a high turnover rate and so many employees who are overstressed all the time.

    @Renan said:

    When you read Dilbert, don't take it as a humorous comic, but rather as a survival guide. That's what I always say.
    I've come to realize how true to life it really is.

     



  • @KrakenLover said:

    So now I have three schedules to plan around: the ridiculously insane ultra fast schedule which the vendor is supposed to follow, the "real" schedule which I and my team are supposed to follow but not tell the vendor about, and the actual schedule which no one but management is supposed to know about.

    I do not get paid anywhere near enough for this.

     

    And yet you continue to turn down those calls you're getting for better employment.  I cain understand how you're abel to handle this nonsense.



  • @Justice said:

    And yet you continue to turn down those calls you're getting for better employment.  I cain understand how you're abel to handle this nonsense.

    Well, yesterday I actually just started sending out applications.

     



  • @KrakenLover said:

    @Justice said:

    And yet you continue to turn down those calls you're getting for better employment. I cain understand how you're abel to handle this nonsense.

    Well, yesterday I actually just started sending out applications.

    Applications are for sucks. Use your network.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @KrakenLover said:

    @Justice said:

    And yet you continue to turn down those calls you're getting for better employment. I cain understand how you're abel to handle this nonsense.

    Well, yesterday I actually just started sending out applications.
    Applications are for sucks. Use your network.
    I recall him stating at least once that he's more junior level, which most likely means his network isn't quite as robust as some of ours.



  • @C-Octothorpe said:

    I recall him stating at least once that he's more junior level, which most likely means his network isn't quite as robust as some of ours.

    If he's making QA schedules (ignored or not) and hiring contractors he's not junior level. Besides, DailyWTF is a network. Probably a shitty one, because you guys all suck, or live in Europe, or both, but there you go.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @C-Octothorpe said:
    I recall him stating at least once that he's more junior level, which most likely means his network isn't quite as robust as some of ours.

    If he's making QA schedules (ignored or not) and hiring contractors he's not junior level. Besides, DailyWTF is a network. Probably a shitty one, because you guys all suck, or live in Europe, or both, but there you go.

    Some companies around here have interns do those things. Because they're cheaper than juniors. Nevermind that an intern is not expected to be as capable, it's always only the costs that are taken into account here.



  •  @tweek said:

    What you don't know, is that there's a supersecret 4th schedule

    There is a fifth schedule that exists only in KrakenLover's head that we're not told about.



  • @Renan said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    @C-Octothorpe said:
    I recall him stating at least once that he's more junior level, which most likely means his network isn't quite as robust as some of ours.

    If he's making QA schedules (ignored or not) and hiring contractors he's not junior level. Besides, DailyWTF is a network. Probably a shitty one, because you guys all suck, or live in Europe, or both, but there you go.

    Some companies around here have interns do those things. Because they're cheaper than juniors. Nevermind that an intern is not expected to be as capable, it's always only the costs that are taken into account here.

    I came in as an intern some time ago - they had me doing simple things like sorting fonts into different folders based on type (yes, I wrote a script to automate it and saved about 4 months of work).  But I worked my way up, and got hired to full time in a couple weeks.

    Technically, though, I'm probably still considered a Junior.  Although, I am the highest paid tech person here...

    This company is really bizarre.  I don't even have a job description (really - if you ask anyone here what I do, 99% of them don't have any idea).  I pretty much do what I just feel like doing, but there are rare cases that I'm assigned to a specific project.

    The only reason I'm in charge of QA and whatnot is because no one else here has any idea how or what to do, so I sort of fell into it and it became what is perhaps my only one defined job responsibility (aside from working on the ERP migration).

    That's probably the reason I've stayed here for so long.  I have a lot of autonomy here.  There are no really technical people, no IT department or oversight, and I can spend my time almost however I want when not working on specific assignments.

    The pay sucks, and it's very stressfuly and filled with WTF, but if I want to spend a few days just reading, experimenting with some new language or technology, I have the freedom to do that.



  • @tweek said:

    Of course, it's hand-etched into gold-leafed bricks of unobtanium, and kept hidden by a grue-eating monster in a sub-sub basement of your building that only exists occasionally in random high-level dimensions

    In the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".



  • @KrakenLover said:

    (...)working on the ERP migration(...)There are no really technical people, no IT department or oversight(...)

    Wow. That's just... wow.

    I thought you were in an IT company, but now that you've said that, what does the company do?</p



  • @Renan said:

    @KrakenLover said:
    (...)working on the ERP migration(...)There are no really technical people, no IT department or oversight(...)

     

    Wow. That's just... wow.

    I thought you were in an IT company, but now that you've said that, what does the company do?

    Publishing.

     


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