The best Nigerian advance fee email ever



  • I told some Nigerian 419er to go and fuck himself, the next day i get this :-


    Good Day:

    We have been watching every single transaction you made since last year until this 2011 and you have to know that we are also working to make sure your funds which are suppose to be delivered to you, and also bear in mind that what ever you emailing us will be forward to the court.

    Also we are hereby to notify by the federal bureau of investigation Cotonou department of the insult you imposed on them by failing to comply by their requirements.Your full residential address has been forwarded to us for your immediate arrest to face your charge but I deemed it fit to give you one more chance to save yourself from this mess.

    We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence. Now I john Francis Pikus the special agent in charge of the FBI Albany department I am giving you 48 hours to effect the payment of the $185.00 usd. To the FBI in republic of Benin
    (fbi-security) with the information written below:

    Receiver: Mr Ikegbune A. Nnalue.
    Country: Benin Republic
    City: Cotonou
    Test Question: Urgent
    Test Answer: Urgent
    Amount: $185 dollars
    Mtcn number.........
    Sender Name...........

    You have to try as much as you can and make this payment so that your funds will be delivered immediately to your destination.
    You have to stop every transaction you are communicating with other organization to avoid delay on the processing of your funds.

    Note that you if you fail to stick with my advice or any delay will lead to us coming directly to your home address at any time, so try and dance by the rule and get back to me with good understanding ASAP.

    WARNING: FAILUER TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTION: YOU WILL ENTITLED TO BE 6 YEARS PRISON.



  • Sounds legit. Do what he says?



  • Those bastards and their walls of text.



  • @boomzilla said:

    Those bastards and their walls of text.

    sigh Here, just for you, the OP with linebreaks as intended:


    I told some Nigerian 419er to go and fuck himself, the next day i get this :-





    ************************************************************************************************************************







    Good Day:



    We have been watching every single transaction you made since last year until this 2011 and you have to know that we are also working to make sure your funds which are suppose to be delivered to you, and also bear in mind that what ever you emailing us will be forward to the court.



    Also we are hereby to notify by the federal bureau of investigation Cotonou department of the insult you imposed on them by failing to comply by their requirements.Your full residential address has been forwarded to us for your immediate arrest to face your charge but I deemed it fit to give you one more chance to save yourself from this mess.

    We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence. Now I john Francis Pikus the special agent in charge of the FBI Albany department I am giving you 48 hours to effect the payment of the $185.00 usd. To the FBI in republic of Benin
    (fbi-security) with the information written below:



    Receiver: Mr Ikegbune A. Nnalue.

    Country: Benin Republic

    City: Cotonou

    Test Question: Urgent

    Test Answer: Urgent

    Amount: $185 dollars

    Mtcn number.........

    Sender Name...........



    You have to try as much as you can and make this payment so that your funds will be delivered immediately to your destination.

    You have to stop every transaction you are communicating with other organization to avoid delay on the processing of your funds.



    Note that you if you fail to stick with my advice or any delay will lead to us coming directly to your home address at any time, so try and dance by the rule and get back to me with good understanding ASAP.



    WARNING: FAILUER TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTION: YOU WILL ENTITLED TO BE 6 YEARS PRISON.



  • @derula said:

    We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence.

    That's my favorite part.



  • @Dayglo_Gerbil said:

    WARNING: FAILUER TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTION: YOU WILL ENTITLED TO BE 6 YEARS PRISON.
     

    Sounds like an appropriate sentence for telling a Nigerian prince to fuck himself. You're lucky it's only 6 years. Just a decade ago you'd be sentenced to death by lobster. Oh, don't let the location of Nigeria fool you, they have lobsters.



  • Death by lobster???? EEEEEEKKKK!!!

    the bit which made me laugh most was the signature at the bottom


    FBI Director.
    Robert S. Muller, III

    Special Agent in Charge;
    Mr. John Francis Pikus
    Direct line +229-93048371
    E-mail= (
    f_b_i@hotmail.ca

    Complete with a photo of him, you know you are in trouble when the director of the F.B.I writes to a foreign national.



  • @Dayglo_Gerbil said:

    Direct line +229-93048371
    E-mail= (
    f_b_i@hotmail.ca

    So the director of the FBI has a generic e-mail address on a Canadian free e-mail server, and a phone number and address in Benin Republic. I must re-iterate: Sounds totally legit.



  • Well, they did say it was the FBI's Benin office. Quite why the FBI needs to maintain an office in Benin I do not know, but I'm sure they have their reasons.

    Also, I read the signature as "FBI Director. Robert S. Muller, III;
    Special Agent in Charge; Mr. John Francis Pikus Direct line +229-93048371"
    so that the Benin phone number is for the S-A-C (of the Benin office, one presumes) rather than for the director, who's just lending the email his imprimatur.



  • Couple years back I got some of these Nigerian prince thingys. (Kenya Prince "Nuregi") actually fell for MY ruse, where I told him (them) I could send actual cash, I just needed his address. Of course he was living "out-of-country" in jolly old England to my recollections. He provided a mailbox addy, and I promptly sent him $50,000 in play money.

    The best part was that about 3 weeks later I got an E-mail that just said "Very funny you FUCK!" When I tried to send a reply to that, (You're WELCOME Prince Dumbass, Worth the $13.00 in postage!) The E-mail came back via failure.

    And I thought we would be good friends... SIGH!



  •  @Tha D said:

    I promptly sent him $50,000 in play money.

    The joke will be on both of you when, after the apocalypse, monopoly money becomes the only legal tender.

     

    PS: Woah, CS trippiness if you use the text-box resize-drag widget in FF 7.0.1



  • @too_many_usernames said:

    PS: Woah, CS trippiness if you use the text-box resize-drag widget in FF
    7.0.1

    You could try upgrading FF to 15.9.5...



  • @PJH said:

    You could try upgrading FF to 15.9.5...
     

     18.1 by now.



  •  http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/

    The stories will literally have you ROFLOL.

    Note: not for at-work consumpsion.


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