The Phone Screen



  • What I thought was some headhunter called me out of the blue (I'm not yet posted on the job boards) offering me an interview. Which became a phone screen at 2PM. Which was rescheduled 5 days out at 7:30AM. Erm, ok, I'm up at that hour.

    The appointed time comes, and goes, and 20 minutes later the guy calls - they were busy (at 7:30AM???). Anyway, we chat for 20 minutes and they'll set up an appointment for a face to face. I never hear back.

    Three weeks later, I get snail mail consisting of an offer letter for a full time permanent job from these folks. But we never even met!

    I call and the head hunter (who turns out to be a permanent HR person in their employ) explains that they like me and want me, so they skipped the interview and just made me an offer.

    Well that's flattering, but 1) I want to meet my coworkers and boss (to make sure they're tolerable), 2) I want to make sure the "office" is actually an office and not some bench next to the river, 3) I am a consultant and won't work w2 (in a permanent capacity), 4) as a consultant, I charge an hourly fee for my services - which hasn't even been discussed, 5) I want to know what the project entails (do I know enough of the technologies used), what state it's in (just started? cluster-f*k of wtf? near completion?), is source control, etc. used, and finally, where they're located (it's not on the corporate website and it's an LLC/DBA with no apparent local address).

    But they want me and don't understand why I won't just sign the contract.

     



  • @snoofle said:

    finally, where they're located (it's not on the corporate website
     

    lolwut? How can that be?

     

    PS.

    I thought this was a WTF about touchscreen software. :(

     



  • Perhaps the firing is equally ad-hoc?

    Text message at 6:00am "Your employment is terminated, do not travel into work today as the final cheque is in the post"

     



  • Honestly, TRWTF is that you are still in contact with these people and wasting your time on an obviously shady situation. I've had similar situations, and do not give people like this the time of day. If they can't even conduct a proper interview, then the job is probably going to be conducted in the same manner; i.e., no structure, no respect, etc.



  • @dohpaz42 said:

    I've had similar situations, and do not give people like this the time of day. If they can't even conduct a proper interview

    Accidents may happen; I suppose if your contact happens to be late for your interview one time, I'd let it slide.

    It it happens twice; thrice, and things look as weird as snoofle's situation... then I'd shrug and move on.



  • @snoofle said:

    But they want me and don't understand why I won't just sign the contract.
     

    Make some changes to the contract to state that there is no expectation of you delivering any code, following any rules of conduct, being in the office, or even showing up the first day.

    Worst case they toss the contract and never bother you again. Best case scenerio, you become a mysterious expense on the books that no one knows what it is, but is afraid to cancel it.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    Make some changes to the contract to state that there is no expectation of you delivering any code, following any rules of conduct, being in the office, or even showing up the first day.

    Worst case they toss the contract and never bother you again. Best case scenerio, you become a mysterious expense on the books that no one knows what it is, but is afraid to cancel it.

     

    +1, Like it

     



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    Diabolical idea

     

    You, Sir, have inspired me! I shall pursue this farce as far as I can (short of accepting it) to see what other (truly worthy) WTFs spring forth!



  • @snoofle said:

    1) I want to meet my coworkers and boss (to make sure they're tolerable)
     

    Judging by your many WTFs you've posted thus far, it looks as though this has never stopped you before. :-)



  •  @RHuckster said:

    @snoofle said:

    1) I want to meet my coworkers and boss (to make sure they're tolerable)
     

    Judging by your many WTFs you've posted thus far, it looks as though this has never stopped you before. :-)

    I don't mind working with people who don't know stuff, or even stupid people. Not everyone knows everything (I certainly don't). What's important to me is that they're personable, don't smell, and can take/give a joke.

    I learned a long time ago that much like the ocean repeatedly refilling a hole you dig by the shoreline, there's a certain amount of crap that will come your way, no matter how hard you try to clean it up. The only way to achieve peace is to find crap you can tolerate.

     



  • @snoofle said:

    I learned a long time ago that much like the ocean repeatedly refilling a hole you dig by the shoreline, there's a certain amount of crap that will come your way, no matter how hard you try to clean it up. The only way to achieve peace is to find crap you can tolerate.

    Your wisdom and serenity is an inspiration to me, snoofle.



  • Many employers would like you to forget that an inverview is a bidirectional process. They interview you, and you interview them.

     They have failed this interview by not showing up. Pretty simple situation.

    Good luck on screwing with them.



  • @snoofle said:

    I learned a long time ago that much like the ocean repeatedly refilling a hole you dig by the shoreline, there's a certain amount of crap that will come your way, no matter how hard you try to clean it up. The only way to achieve peace is to find crap you can tolerate.
     

    We are of one mind, dear sir.

    smooches & cuddles



  • @snoofle said:

    I learned a long time ago that much like the ocean repeatedly refilling a hole you dig by the shoreline, there's a certain amount of crap that will come your way, no matter how hard you try to clean it up. The only way to achieve peace is to find crap you can tolerate.

     

    How it actually works in IT:

    1. Dig hole by shoreline in a hurry.

    2. Line said hole quickly with placing a plastic sheet over hole and stand in hole.

    3. Hire bilge pumps to pump any splash over water from hole back to sea, calculate bilge pump and hire agreement is large enough and oversized for emergency.

    4. Management change bilge pump contract for one half the size, supplied by brother of CEO.

    5. Connect bilge pump to power via UPS.

    6. Place UPS battery on top of lilo and float on sea water, pray UPS does not sink.

    7. Stay standing in hole with shotgun, 80 hours a week with the odd overnight shift.

    8. Fire both barrels in direction of anyone approaching you, taking extra careful aim on pump supplier.

    9. ?????

    10. PROFIT


     



  •  I'm starting to see the ultimate development of this into the scam that it must surely be:

    Company you've never heard of sends you a registered letter out of the blue stating that you're hired to work on <widget> at such-and-such a pay rate and under such-and-such sets of conditions.  Short time thereafter they send another registered letter telling you that you're in breach of your agreement and they're now suing you for failure to perform.  Any attempts to contact them are shunted off to their legal department.



  • @da Doctah said:

     I'm starting to see the ultimate development of this into the scam that it must surely be:

    Company you've never heard of sends you a registered letter out of the blue stating that you're hired to work on <widget> at such-and-such a pay rate and under such-and-such sets of conditions.  Short time thereafter they send another registered letter telling you that you're in breach of your agreement and they're now suing you for failure to perform.  Any attempts to contact them are shunted off to their legal department.

    I love it!  It's just like the classic scams of yesterday, where a company would mail you some piece of trashy merchandise you didn't order, and then bill you for it.  I don't think this scam would be enforceable, though; there's no contract.



  • @MarkJ said:

    @da Doctah said:

     I'm starting to see the ultimate development of this into the scam that it must surely be:

    Company you've never heard of sends you a registered letter out of the blue stating that you're hired to work on <widget> at such-and-such a pay rate and under such-and-such sets of conditions.  Short time thereafter they send another registered letter telling you that you're in breach of your agreement and they're now suing you for failure to perform.  Any attempts to contact them are shunted off to their legal department.

    I love it!  It's just like the classic scams of yesterday, where a company would mail you some piece of trashy merchandise you didn't order, and then bill you for it.  I don't think this scam would be enforceable, though; there's no contract.

     

     

    I think these kind of classic scams are a lost art form, phoney business men that travelled around the world on other peoples pay check doing a high class act pretending to be Donald Trump.  These days scams are just mass email from Nigeria of look-a-like bank forms - not nearly in the same league.

     



  • @da Doctah said:

     I'm starting to see the ultimate development of this into the scam that it must surely be:

    Company you've never heard of sends you a registered letter out of the blue stating that you're hired to work on <widget> at such-and-such a pay rate and under such-and-such sets of conditions.  Short time thereafter they send another registered letter telling you that you're in breach of your agreement and they're now suing you for failure to perform. 

    Yeah, that doesn't really work unless you signed a copy of the first letter and sent it back to them.  Otherwise you just see them in court and your entire defence is "What contract?"



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