Birth of AI (Complete this story...)

  •  I am writing a story to improve my written command of ENglish, but I need your help. I have started my tale and you should continue it further. So who want to play?

    You know how the story goes. There's an ambitious programmer. Before he could reach his zen, the project manager resign. So he is made the project manager. Now his secret project is to create an AI. So he keep thinking about it day and night.

    He dreams about the AI. This AI will allow him to use simple English based command to get computer to dance to his tune.

  • And eventually his AI will complete his homework for him.

  • Suddenly he realizes that his computer is a big box of plastic sitting under a desk, and can't possibly dance no matter how good the music is. He becomes frustrated-- is this how his dream should end?-- and throws the filthy computer off a bridge. (It got dirty under the desk, because he kept indoor hogs.) It hits a toaster and vacuum cleaner and electric blanket all on their way to find a new human master, then there's that kind of creepy song by the trash compactor where the cars all sing about dying, and then there's a fire or something and I don't remember what happens next but the air conditioner in that movie is really scary and there's some creepy clowns on the TV too oh god Disney what the fuck was WRONG with whoever wrote that film what the FUCK!

  • Wow BlakeyRat is good!

    Thankfully he has a plan-B! The Plan-B is on a word 95 document stored somewhere on the bowels of his hard-disk. He tries to install google search, but the Windows 1.0 machine immediately recognizes the cr4p that google search is and prevents the install from happening. 

  • Suddenly, the zombified remains of his computer tower crawled in through the window and laid an IDE cable on his shoulder. A cold voice whispered:

    "...Shoulda upgraded to SATA, pal!..."

    This surprised our protagonist who turned around quickly and filled the case with Tesco Value instant coffee, causing it to become a ghost instead. Pursued by a bear and the ghost of a zombified computer tower, he exited, stage left.

  •  This is when the astronaut makes his appearance. He had been waiting for just this moment. He burst out of the closet, accompanied by hot stale air, and started to rifle through the programmers things.

     "There isn't much time!" he said to himself, exasperated and frustrated as he sat on the cusp of completing his 5 year mission. That's when he saw it. It was a floppy-backup of the Word 95 word document the programmer was looking for. it's a good thing the astronaut knew Summon lvl 10 and was able to summon a bear and scare the programmer away. This was his chance. He took  the floppy and placed it into his shoulder-mounted 386. he typed furiously using the neural interface that had been intertwined between him and the 386 since he was 5. He paused in thought of the past. It was part of a grand conspiracy- at least, that's what his grandfather told him. God rest his soul. That was why he was here; If it wasn't for his grandfather's nobly sacrificing himself and the family refrigerator he would have never learned the horrible truth, or the expiry date on the ham.

    He was snapped back to reality when he heard the footsteps coming toward the door. He quickly ducked into the closet once more, hoping that whoever it was wouldn't notice the missing floppy. he proceeded to copy the files to a new directory on his biologically fused computer companion. That's when he was reminded how loud floppy drives were.

     Meanwhile, the bear had just finished getting a soda (he wasn't really chasing the programmer, he was actually just really thirsty). And went back to the place he appeared. Why was he here? Where did he come from? He couldn't explain it. He couldn't remember anything before simply appearing in this room. The bear sat down, mystified by his own existence. That's when he heard the gnashing of a floppy drive in the closet. 

  • Now, bears aren't really all that concerned with noises that come from closets, as they usually just eat whatever ticks them off, but the humming of the drive made him think, "Bees. Honey. Yum!" So after carefully setting his soda down on a coaster to prevent water rings on the coffee table (existential bear he may be, but he DID have manners, for God's sake!), he lumbered over to the closer door with a rather peanutty-flavored belch. Our astronaut, upon noticing the bear's curiosity and lack of serious bad attitude, allowed himself to be calmed by the pleasant whirring of the drive on his shoulder.

    "Aha!", cried the astronaut, with a flash of inspiration.

    "Aw, nuts!", mumbled the bear, as he realized there were no delectable munchies to be had.

    "Make it dance! Make it dance!", whispered his grandfather from the depths of the ancient refrigerator.

    The astronaut knew his purpose now, and felt with every fiber of his being the importance of his mission. Could he, the lowly snaggle-toothed fly-boy, actually create the mythical AI Dancing Bear? He MUST!

    The floppy copy now complete, he opened the door to the closet and chose his next words carefully.

    "Bear? I need you to show me if you can do an arabesque penchee', if you please."

    Not comprehending, the bear simply shrugged.

    "Egad!", cried the astronaut. "We need pictures! I must find the font having interchangeable indicia that my grandfather encrypted in my 386!"

Log in to reply

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.