Code Request WTF



  • The company I work for is in the midst of a merger, and as such there are a lot of requests for, well, stuff flying back and forth. I received the following from someone I'd yet to work with at the other company. After a few reads I finally pieced together what they were asking for, and realized it's an interface we wouldn't be sharing until the integration is complete. Looks like the new approach is to munge words until we just send them all our code. I saw through the ruse though (after verifying the sender was in fact an employee of the other company...).




    Hi chilledham…


    S/W to you couple of months back regarding middle tier application IniTech built for your mortgage department. Can you give the resources we will need to host this application within our internal system?


    I believe this application was written .NET and back end server internal network. Is the application server dedicated?



    Let me know if you need additional information.



  • You have seen nothing yet. Be afraid, be very afraid.



  •  Looks to me like they are asking for hardware requirements, not code.

     -Pascal



  • @Pascal said:

     Looks to me like they are asking for hardware requirements, not code.

     -Pascal

    the "...give me resources..." part made me think they wanted him to assign some people to perform the installation



  • @Pascal said:

     Looks to me like they are asking for hardware requirements, not code.

    Yes. It appears to be badly worded (not a native speaker) but indeed I think he just wants to know what he needs to run the app. Not an illogical request in itself, surely?



  • @b-redeker said:

    @Pascal said:

     Looks to me like they are asking for hardware requirements, not code.

    Yes. It appears to be badly worded (not a native speaker) but indeed I think he just wants to know what he needs to run the app. Not an illogical request in itself, surely?

    You're right -- Dual AMD 6 Core Processors w/ 3.4 Ghz (or greater), 16 GB Ram (Or Greater), Dual Gigabit Ethernet, Windows Server 2008 R2, IIS 7, ASP.NET 4.0, 8 TB Hard Drive (Configured Raid 5), SQL Server 2008 R2 with Advanced Services, (8) Hamster driven server fans, 2 year supply of hamster feed.



  • @Pascal said:

     Looks to me like they are asking for hardware requirements, not code.

     -Pascal

     

    If one is on the "getting screwed" end of a merger, the correct reply is "640K of RAM should be enough for anybody ".



  • @Medezark said:

    You're right -- Dual AMD 6 Core Processors w/ 3.4 Ghz (or greater), 16 GB Ram (Or Greater), Dual Gigabit Ethernet, Windows Server 2008 R2, IIS 7, ASP.NET 4.0, 8 TB Hard Drive (Configured Raid 5), SQL Server 2008 R2 with Advanced Services, (8) Hamster driven server fans, 2 year supply of hamster feed.

    You need an intern to scoop that regularly.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Medezark said:
    You're right -- Dual AMD 6 Core Processors w/ 3.4 Ghz (or greater), 16 GB Ram (Or Greater), Dual Gigabit Ethernet, Windows Server 2008 R2, IIS 7, ASP.NET 4.0, 8 TB Hard Drive (Configured Raid 5), SQL Server 2008 R2 with Advanced Services, (8) Hamster driven server fans, 2 year supply of hamster feed.

    You need an intern to scoop that regularly.

     

    And some (preferably live) hamsters.



  • @ShatteredArm said:

    And some (preferably live) hamsters.

    Hmmm, what about zombie hamsters? I think they will be more cost effective.  This are the ideas that promotions and salary rises are made from.



  • @serguey123 said:

    @ShatteredArm said:

    And some (preferably live) hamsters.

    Hmmm, what about zombie hamsters? I think they will be more cost effective.  This are the ideas that promotions and salary rises are made from.

     

    I'm not so sure. They'd be great as long as they don't bite anyone and turn them into zombies as well, but when that happens I think you'd probably look back and wish you had normal hamsters.



  • @mott555 said:

    @serguey123 said:

    @ShatteredArm said:

    And some (preferably live) hamsters.

    Hmmm, what about zombie hamsters? I think they will be more cost effective.  This are the ideas that promotions and salary rises are made from.

     

    I'm not so sure. They'd be great as long as they don't bite anyone and turn them into zombies as well, but when that happens I think you'd probably look back and wish you had normal hamsters.

    You have never worked for corporate, have you?

    This is a wet dream for them, 24/7 work shifts, no meal, no healthcare, no salary, etc.

    Sure some people will complain that zombie workers are taking away our jobs and that they are being exploited but the savings will be worth it



  •  A properly formatted request would include the phrase, "pls send teh codes".



  • @serguey123 said:

    @mott555 said:

    @serguey123 said:

    @ShatteredArm said:

    And some (preferably live) hamsters.

    Hmmm, what about zombie hamsters? I think they will be more cost effective.  This are the ideas that promotions and salary rises are made from.

     

    I'm not so sure. They'd be great as long as they don't bite anyone and turn them into zombies as well, but when that happens I think you'd probably look back and wish you had normal hamsters.

    You have never worked for corporate, have you?

    This is a wet dream for them, 24/7 work shifts, no meal, no healthcare, no salary, etc.

    Sure some people will complain that zombie workers are taking away our jobs and that they are being exploited but the savings will be worth it

     

    Those damn zombie workers keep comin into this country, takin' all the hardworking live Americans' jobs and eatin' our brains. 

    They should just go back to Mexico wherever they come from and leave us alone!

    And now, the obligatory:

    THEY TOOK OUR JERBS! AN ET OUR BRAINS!

    DOOK UR DURRRR! ET UR BRUURRRHNS!



  • @Buffalo said:

    Those damn zombie workers keep comin into this country, takin' all the hardworking live Americans' jobs and eatin' our brains. 

    They should just go back to Mexico wherever they come from and leave us alone!

    Haiti.  That's where zombies come from.




  • Had a related WTF myself a few years back. Was working for MomNPop a small family owned customer software shop that made pretty good money with banking data analysis and custom apps.

    We worked in a converted house with most of us in one big room, a family company with the owner's wife doing bookkeeping and his son working as a programmer. We partnered with with a company claiming connections in the banking industry to help us with marketing. We would develop the products and they would sell them.

    About six months into the partnership, they had no sales and we had lots of meetings where their Project Managers and programmers called asking us 'what's the algo' behind the various analyses we performed so they could move them to high performance servers (not required by our business model but they argued it looked better to potential clients).

    Fast forward through a few months of stressful phone calls with them asking for more and more code for different types of analyses and vague promises that they would 'keep us on' after getting the new system running. The owner of our company kept to himself working on some bizarre 'fuzzy learning' modeling using FoxPro and he apparently had little to no awareness that they might have anything other than his best interest in mind. The highlight was a visit some of us made to their nicely decorated glass and granite headquarters in Greenwich CT explaining in detail an analysis I wrote and knowing they were planning to steal it.

    Around the time they started to implement '360 degree reviews' for everyone in MomNPop we found out what was really going on. In the year or so we partnered with them, they ran though $6 million to run their company with no sales. And MomNPop slogged on, though two key programmers and I left.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.