Next Year's XMAS Wish List





  •  I'm waiting for the first MMORPG that uses this concept.



  • First, WTF JAPAN? Secondly, how do I get Seattle signed up? My life won't be complete until I've played this game.



  • Personally, I'm just not happy unless I'm peeing into a clowns mouth.



  • @HighlyPaidContractor said:

    Personally, I'm just not happy unless I'm peeing into a clowns mouth.

    Yeah, but that tends to get you kicked out of the circus.



  • Officer: "Sir, what are you doing there?"

    You: no no, "It's just my PeeSPee!"



  •  I'm a little concerned that this time trial image displays a countdown for 1 minute and 7 seconds:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?

    The kind that gets really nervous when peeing in a public urinal when other users are there. Sometimes it can take a full minute just to finally stop pretending it's gonna happen, zip up and walk out.

    Of course, if you're one of those people, it's better to use a cubicle. But then you can't play the game. And let's be honest, such a game attached to a regular toilet would probably be far more weird, or induce a prolapsed rectum from trying to push hard enough to sink your opponent's battleship or somesuch.



  • @TarquinWJ said:

    The kind that gets really nervous when peeing in a public urinal when other users are there. Sometimes it can take a full minute just to finally stop pretending it's gonna happen, zip up and walk out.

     

    It might be nice enough to only start the time once you, well, started to go with the flow. Still, I'm expecting the first reports of going-to-the-toilet addiction around early summer.



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?

    Oh, you young people.



  • @b-redeker said:

    @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?

    Oh, you young people.

     

    30's young?



  • @dhromed said:

    @b-redeker said:

    Oh, you young people.

     

    30's young?

    Nostalgic sigh.

    Anyway, even back in the days when we was young, I remember driving to Paris with a friend, who complained around Breda he had to pee, but who decided to drive on until we would at least be in France. When he finally jumped out of the car to relieve himself, I swear he'd have broken several records in the Toy-let (not to mention the tree he was peeing against).



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?
    Mine did, but that was over 3 decades ago and I was hospitalized at the time and had a tube in my arm.



  • I believe they are missing a huge market, parents with potty training boys! What a heck of a way to work on "aim".



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?
     

    One of my friends used to take cell phone videos of himself peeing just to prove how long he could pee. You couldn't see his anatomy (thankfully) but he kept the camera pointed into the toilet so you could tell he was, in fact, peeing. The longest one he showed off was about a minute and twenty seconds. And it was a strong stream, too!

    Not that that isn't weird. My record might be around 20 seconds.



  • Now this thread has officially become a pissing contest.



  •  There is however not a single Wii pun so far. I'm impressed.



  •  My record is one minute nine seconds. I time it when I know it's going to be a long one. I was driving a bunch of ladies (and one dude) home from seeing a movie, luckily the dude's house was first and I let myself in to use the facilities. It really was getting to be unbearable though, was going to have to just pull over shortly. 



  • @PSWorx said:

     There is however not a single Wii pun so far. I'm impressed.

    I can't believe I missed that.



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?

    I forsee people drinking themselves to near excess just so they get extra time on these games.



  • @PSWorx said:

     There is however not a single Wii pun so far. I'm impressed.

     

    Just goes to show how much we care about the platform.



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of mega-bladder contains a minute's worth of urine?

    Not trying to spoil the fun you all seem to be having, but you realize that the 'double prime' (″) is the commonly used symbol for seconds, not minutes...?



  • @Anonymouse said:

    but you realize that the 'double prime' (″) is the commonly used symbol for seconds, not minutes...?
     

    No, I do not.

    I exclusively use the colon for that, as in hh:nn:ss. Primes I see parse only within the contxt of lengths and of global positions; here it's just turned into some seperator, and nn"ss was the closest fit my brain made.

     

     

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @dhromed said:

    @Anonymouse said:
    but you realize that the 'double prime' (″) is the commonly used symbol for seconds, not minutes...?
    No, I do not.
    I exclusively use the colon for that, as in hh:nn:ss. Primes I see parse only within the contxt of lengths and of global positions; here it's just turned into some seperator, and nn"ss was the closest fit my brain made.
    It's only common when talking about angles which aren't in their decimal representation - 359°59'59'' (359 degrees, 59 minutes, 59 seconds) which is 1 (arc)second anti/counter-clockwise off 0 - or as it would more commonly be represented 359.999722°



  • @TarquinWJ said:

    The kind that gets really nervous when peeing in a public urinal when other users are there. Sometimes it can take a full minute just to finally stop pretending it's gonna happen, zip up and walk out.

    Of course, if you're one of those people, it's better to use a cubicle.

    I'm confused.

    So you recommend unzipping and standing at your cube for a minute rather than doing it in the bathroom?



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @TarquinWJ said:

    The kind that gets really nervous when peeing in a public urinal when other users are there. Sometimes it can take a full minute just to finally stop pretending it's gonna happen, zip up and walk out.

    Of course, if you're one of those people, it's better to use a cubicle.

    I'm confused.

    So you recommend unzipping and standing at your cube for a minute rather than doing it in the bathroom?

    It's a great way to meet new people.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @TarquinWJ said:

    The kind that gets really nervous when peeing in a public urinal when other users are there. Sometimes it can take a full minute just to finally stop pretending it's gonna happen, zip up and walk out.

    Of course, if you're one of those people, it's better to use a cubicle.

    I'm confused.

    So you recommend unzipping and standing at your cube for a minute rather than doing it in the bathroom?

    Language is hilarious.

    Here in the US (motto: We Can Kick Your Ass), a "cube" is the cheap portable walls you squeeze into to suffer all day at work. A "stall" is a toilet with a wall and doors.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Language is hilarious.

    It was until you explained it.



  • @b-redeker said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    Language is hilarious.

    It was until you explained it.

    Shit. I are hypocrite.



  • @PSWorx said:

     There is however not a single Wii pun so far. I'm impressed.

    Wii was the first thing i thought of, but I assumed someone would beat me to it.

     

     

    I am disappoint.

     



  •  @blakeyrat said:

    Shit. I are hypocrite.

    But you posted a Fry and Laurie link, proving yourself to be an educated and cultured hypocrite.  Did you go to Cambridge?




  • @upsidedowncreature said:

    Did you go to Cambridge?

    Yup!



  • So to totally derail this thread:

    From a purely US Constitutional perspective, and from the standpoint that I would be just as irritated if people started changing the names of other holidays for any relgion:

    In the battle between some people being offended at the word 'Christmas' and some other people being offended by the "anonymification" 'Xmas' (and its variants), which politically-correct principle wins*?

     

    Interestingly, even Wikipedia says "The Establishment Clause of the First Amendment prohibits the establishment of a
    national religion by the Congress or the preference of one religion over
    another, non-religion over religion, or religion over non-religion."  So doesn't prohibiting the removal of the name Christ from Christmas in public venues actually fall afoul of this, by promoting non-religion over religion by actively removing a religious symbol?  (Oddly enough, many recent rulings of the Supreme Court have actually promoted 'irrelegion' over 'religion' by saying that displays of religious items in a primarily secular context are allowed.)

     

    So, more of a logic exercise than a religion rant: is it actually possible to have a logical construct which says that you can neither promote nor restrict some particular behavior? Say the behavior is "making video games regarding urine expulsion" instead of religion if that makes you less apt to burst an artery.  Put a slightly different way: is it actually possible to be completely neutral on any such topic, or is any stance, by nature, favoring some institution over another?



  • @too_many_usernames said:

    Is it actually possible to have a logical construct which says that you can neither promote nor restrict some particular behavior?

     

    There is actually a very beautiful and elegant solution to that problem. Namely the fact that "Xmas" is neither new nor religion-neutral. As the wiki can tell you:

    [quote user="Wikipedia"]The "-mas" part is from the Latin-derived Old English word for "Mass",[1] while the "X" comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός, translated as "Christ".[/quote]

    Later in the article there is a mention of "Xmas" from 1753, which, in fact, makes it older than the First Amandment. So I guess you're not the first one to think about this.



  •  @PSWorx said:

     So I guess you're not the first one to think about this.

    That may be true, but I would wager that if you do a street poll, most people will say that people write Xmas not because of Chi and Mass (why mix Greek and Olde English anyway?) but to make it "not religious."  (Although, as lazy as folks are now with text-typing and such, perhaps it has morphed into merely character optimization. Who really knows?) For the record, I get just as irritated when marketing folks change the spelling of words just to make brand image. Krispy Kreme, I'm looking at you (and your tasty doughnuts, darnit!)

     That said, that wasn't the main thrust of my post - I guess I did use that as a springboard for the ultimate question though: is it possible to be completely netural on such a topic? I understand the mathematical / logical construct of  'neutral' but I'm beginning to think it's not possible to take a neutral stance (politcally or philosophically) on any kind of value statement.  It's sort of the thought experiment along the lines of "Is it possible to actually tolerate all views, including views that think some views should be intolerable?"

    But yeah, it's the end of the day here and I'm taking breaks between drafting test cases...so I'm probably not optimally coherent.



  •  

    @too_many_usernames said:

    That may be true, but I would wager that if you do a street poll, most people will say that people write Xmas not because of Chi and Mass (why mix Greek and Olde English anyway?) but to make it "not religious."

    Since I wrote the subject line originall, you might be interested to know that I chose "XMAS" for its secular connotation. Fewer people would have understood "Next Year's Winter Solstice Wish List".

     



  • @too_many_usernames said:

    "Is it possible to actually tolerate all views, including views that think some views should be intolerable?"
     

    When you start venturing into meta-views, all bets are off.



  • @too_many_usernames said:

    "Is it possible to actually tolerate all views, including views that think some views should be intolerable?"
    I think you'll have to carefully define "tolerate" there, but I have a feeling that unless the usage is uselessly fuzzy, the answers has to be no, at least on the grounds of functionality. I believe you'd end up having both to promote tolerance (and condemn intolerance) and to tolerate intolerance (and ambivalate tolerance), which ends up being hypocritical/inconsistent. You'd be able to tolerate all views only in the sense that you basically ignore them, but if that's tolerance then what's its use? After all, you can't really "agree to disagree" with someone who disagrees to disagree. Best you can do is ignore them until they either go away or break the law, which is generally the common and accepted executive stance.



  • @dhromed said:

    @too_many_usernames said:

    "Is it possible to actually tolerate all views, including views that think some views should be intolerable?"
     

    When you start venturing into meta-views, all bets are off.

     create view v_meta as (

    select * from all where ID in (select ID from v_tolerable)

    union

    select * from all where ID not in (select ID from v_tolerable)

    )

     



  •  @b-redeker said:

     create view v_meta as (

    select * from all where ID in (select ID from v_tolerable)

    union

    select * from all where ID not in (select ID from v_tolerable)

    )

    Please don't prefix your views with v_. It makes type-lookup in SQL manager painful.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @dhromed said:

     @b-redeker said:

     create view v_meta as (

    select * from all where ID in (select ID from v_tolerable)

    union

    select * from all where ID not in (select ID from v_tolerable)

    )

    Please don't prefix your views with v_. It makes type-lookup in SQL manager painful.

    Plus it's a variation on (the bad version of) Polish Notation. And you're not being consistant. Why isn't ID actually c_ID for example? And why 'all' instead of 'tbl_all'?

    What happens, for example, when your view becomes (for whatever reason) a real table - change all v_ to tbl_ in all your queries?

    Don't use prefixes to describe what the things are represented by; prefixes (if used at all) should describe what the things virtually represent. (And in most cases this boils down to what the table is actually called in the first place. "person", "department", "country" etc.)


  • @dhromed said:

    Please don't prefix your views with v_. It makes type-lookup in SQL manager painful.

    I just wanted to inflict the pain on you that I feel on a daily basis. I've got a couple more where that came from.

     



  • @PJH said:

    Why isn't ID actually c_ID for example?

    Please, please, don't give them any ideas. Having to type Persons.Persons_Name is bad enough. If that becomes t_Persons.c_Persons_Name I will have to do a kill -9.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @b-redeker said:

    Having to type Persons.Persons_Name is bad enough. If that becomes t_Persons.c_Persons_Name I will have to do a kill -9.
    You only have one column for name? I'm sure that could be fixed....



  • @PJH said:

    @b-redeker said:
    Having to type Persons.Persons_Name is bad enough. If that becomes t_Persons.c_Persons_Name I will have to do a kill -9.
    You only have one column for name? I'm sure that could be fixed....

    Oh, don't worry, they fixed that already. My forehead is still sore from banging it against the wall after that particular discussion.



  • @b-redeker said:

    @dhromed said:

    Please don't prefix your views with v_. It makes type-lookup in SQL manager painful.

    I just wanted to inflict the pain on you that I feel on a daily basis. I've got a couple more where that came from.

    pI'vm onot avery jkeen oon jHungarian nNotation.



  • @Rick said:

    pI'vm anot avery jkeen oon jHungarian nNotation.

    FTFY.



  • @Xyro said:

    @Rick said:
    pI'vm anot avery jkeen oon jHungarian nNotation.

    FTFY.

    That's because ur doing it rong.


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