December 24th 2010



  • Twas the night before implementation

    And all through the house,
    Not a program was working,
    Not even a browse.

    The programmers hung by their displays in despair, with hopes that a miracle would soon be there.
    The users were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of  inquiries danced in their heads.
    When out of the hall rose such a clatter, I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
    And to my wondering eyes should appear, but a super programmer with a six pack of beer.
    His resume glowed with experience so rare, he turned out great code with a bit pusher's flair.
    More rapid than eagles, his programs they came, and he whistled and shoulded and called them by name: 
    On Update! On Add! On Inquire! On Delete!
     On Batch Jobs! On Closing! 
    On Functions Complete.

    His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and learn, from weekends and nights spent in front of a screen.
    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his working, turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk;
    And laying his finger on the ENTER KEY, the system came up and worked properly.
    The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted; The inquiries inquired; and the closings completed.
    He tested each whistle, and tested each bell, with nary an ABEND, and all had gone well.
    The system was finished and the tests were completed.
    The client's last changes were even included.

    The clients exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt, "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want."


     

    A Healthy and Happy Holiday is wished to all. Can't wait to see all of the Curious Pervisions in Information Technology that 2011 is sure to bring.



  •  Very nice

     

    And then the client discovered agile? 😃


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

     and still fucked it up.



  • Yes, but now he knows it from the beginning 🙂



  • @TheCPUWizard said:

    ...with nary an ABEND, and all had gone well...


    God, I had forgotten about the term "ABEND"!!! THAT's one you don't hear when you're surrounded by youngsters, for sure! Man, I miss the greybeards I used to have access to...



  • @TheCPUWizard said:

    ...with nary an ABEND, and all had gone well...


    God, I had forgotten about the term "ABEND"!!! THAT's one you don't hear when you're surrounded by youngsters, for sure! Man, I miss the greybeards I used to have access to...



  • @TheCPUWizard said:

    More rapid than eagles, his programs they came, and he whistled and [b]shouted[/b] and called them by name:

    FTFY. Other than that, awesome.



  • That's awesome.



  • With merely 187 characters (or 274 after editing) one cannot express how lovely your poem is. However, one may instead describe how this could be expressed: with more than 187 characters.



  • Nice update of the original poem by Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose (which goes back at least five years!).

    "the Curious Perversions in Information Technology:" FTFY.


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