Smokies Sizzling Steak House



  • "Smokies Sizzling Steak House

    To view Smokies Website Search For
    'Steak House Warrington.co.uk' Below"

    So, to view your website I need to use a search engine, even though I used a search engine to find your site? WTF?

    Source: http://www.antoniosnewton.co.uk/

     

     

     



  •  Don't take a chance, blame 3lance who say "We Deliver...
    Professionally built bespoke Websites
    designed to Client specification, prices start from just £95
    (advertising 2 page website) and £250 (full 5 page website) best value
    websites in Warrington, Cheshire, Merseyside and North West."

    Unfortunately, their own website is an ugly unreadable inconsistent mishmash of styles, revealing both incompetence and a total lack of taste.



  • It's Google custom search... you're supposed to search, the search page contains some CPM ads, he gets paid about 1-3 cents for 100 searches.

    It's profit for him - after all it looks like a spammy site from the start

     



  • @GreyWolf said:

    best value
    websites in Warrington, Cheshire, Merseyside and North West.

    Presumably in this case, the North 'Wild' West?' I've been in a few pubs up there (!).

    @GreyWolf said:

    Unfortunately, their own website is an ugly unreadable inconsistent mishmash of styles, revealing both incompetence and a total lack of taste.

    Wait until you see the fonts they chose for 'Smokies.' (Though perhaps that was the owner's insistence?)

    "Situated in Newton Le Willows, Warrington's very own Steak House and American style dining restuarant."

    Warrington: well-known English home of the American diner. Well, it is since we mentioned it in here, anyway!

    "Why not have your Steaks Dinners served uniquely by our very own Cowgirls in a typical American, Western Saloon themed Restaurant."

    Patently, just ONE steak per dinner isn't an option. Plus, 'dinner' is such a traditionally American word for a main meal, isn't it? And the mind truly boggles about what is 'unique' about the way they are served. Perhaps the 'Cowgirls' fire the 'Sizzling Steaks' from their pussies on to the plates? (I've dated girls from that area, so trust me: that scenario IS a real possibility.)

    "Try our new Menu Today which consists of delicious Sizzling Steaks of all sizes, Meals for Two and many Family sized options to fulfil your American style dining experience."

    Yes, it seems like steak(s), steak(s), or steak(s). And an American style dining experience indicates to me a plate groaning with enough food for four people for a month, the inevitable 'doggie bag' to take 80+% of what you paid for home to keep you in leftovers until it goes bad or you just get sick of it for EVERY meal, and the chance of a being in an exciting armed siege involving a jacked-up crackhead with an Uzi! MMMMM ... BRING IT ON!

    @GreyWolf said:

    and £250 (full 5 page website)

    Somehow, I didn't find the need to visit the other four pages at 'Smokie's.' But truly, you have to marvel at 3lance's technical ingenuity in fitting ANY commercial Web site onto a "massive" five pages. Er ... or not.



  • @Cad Delworth said:

    "Situated in Newton Le Willows, Warrington's very own Steak House and American style dining restuarant."



    Warrington: well-known English home of the American diner. Well, it is since we mentioned it in here, anyway!

    What is an "American style" dining restaurant?

    Do they serve foods like this?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    What is an "American style" dining restaurant?

    I refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago.

    Ridiculously huge portions, and the ever-present potential for gunfire (depending on the [geographical] state the restaurant is in).



  • @Cad Delworth said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    What is an "American style" dining restaurant?

    I refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago.

    Ridiculously huge portions, and the ever-present potential for gunfire (depending on the [geographical] state the restaurant is in).

    So... your stereotype of the US is like our stereotype of Texas? Mixed with a little Detroit, I guess...



  •  Dudes, your bickering is distracting me from my important research on the tulip-powered hand-clog.



  • Random capitalizations Drive me fucking Insane!



  • Yet, you use them yourself...



  • @Mole said:

    Yet, you use them yourself...

    It's early in the morning after a drunken 3-day weekend, so my sarcasm detector might not be at full capacity. Please tell me you aren't serious. I beg you...



  • @Mole said:

    Yet, you use them yourself...

    Well, duh, he's Insane!



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @Cad Delworth said:
    "Situated in Newton Le Willows, Warrington's very own Steak House and American style dining restuarant."



    Warrington: well-known English home of the American diner. Well, it is since we mentioned it in here, anyway!

    What is an "American style" dining restaurant?

    Do they serve foods like this?

    No, probably food like this.



  • I've mentioned before that I work in life insurance. We collect a crapton of information during the application process and store it in XML format. One of the questions we ask is 'Have you filed for bankruptcy in the last seven years?'. Some douche created an XML node named <BankRuptcyfiled /> to store the answer to this question. I pointed this out to management while this process was still in development and was told to stop nitpicking and code around it. That's right. Nevermind that XPath is case-sensitive and every dev with more than a 4th-grade education will introduce a bug if he spells correctly when programming against this node. It's been in production for two years now and management won't let anyone change it because of the ridiculous amount of regression testing that would be necessary.



    Edit: Douchebag node name that didn't show up the first time: <BankRuptcyfiled />



  • @Smitty said:

    I've mentioned before that I work in life insurance. We collect a crapton of information during the application process and store it in XML format. One of the questions we ask is 'Have you filed for bankruptcy in the last seven years?'. Some douche created an XML node named to store the answer to this question. I pointed this out to management while this process was still in development and was told to stop nitpicking and code around it. That's right. Nevermind that XPath is case-sensitive and every dev with more than a 4th-grade education will introduce a bug if he spells correctly when programming against this node. It's been in production for two years now and management won't let anyone change it because of the ridiculous amount of regression testing that would be necessary.



    Edit: Douchebag node name that didn't show up the first time: <BankRuptcyfiled />

    Please. I work in web dev. I have to deal with "referer" Every. Single. Day. If I ever find the guy who didn't spell-check the STANDARDS DOCUMENT FOR ALL WEB DEVELOPMENT EVER UNTIL THE END OF TIME, I will kill him with a rusty spoon. (From the Wiki page, it looks as if Phillip Hallam-Baker and Roy Fielding are to blame. "Wasn't in the Unix spell checker!" My ass.)

    Anyway, know that you're not alone.



  • @Smitty said:

    @Mole said:
    Yet, you use them yourself...

    It's early in the morning after a drunken 3-day weekend, so my sarcasm detector might not be at full capacity. Please tell me you aren't serious. I beg you...

    I'm deadly serious. This is the sidebar. Only serious posts are here. You know that. 



  • @blakeyrat said:

    Anyway, know that you're not alone.

    Actually that does make me feel a little better. +1 for tenuous connections to hope. :)


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