DBA on crack, troubles ahead



  • This is a sequel to the events that happened in "The close encounter of the WTF"

    Quick project overview
    Initrode asked us to re-build the After Sales Service for their company, since the perl version is failing apart.
    The old Site had sections to present "Technical news", "Training", "Products", "Tools". It allows to contact initrode and has a shop module to order watch parts and tools.

    We have started the developement in our internal server Debian+ZendServer (the one our web host didn't set up as we asked for) with an internal DB server (Win2k3+SQL Server 2k5) that i had to install from scratch, because initrode had trouble finding licences for a new server.

    Actually we have 2 weeks worth of developement in that project and it far from finished. Sadly it's due TODAY (the 30th june in the planning) and we were supposed to jump to the Wide testing phase.

    But the DBA who was supposed to install the server is actually our "technical contact" at initrode. He changes the DB and sends "SAV_WEB_DUMP.bak" on a ftp when he is finished, the next day I dump this file into our server and rune some stored proc for the server ACLs.

    The first dump contained only partial data for the "Products" section and one user.
    The second dump was practically the same, no WAS the same.
    The third dump contained data for the "News".
    Fourth dump was practically the same.
    Fifth dump contained more users, but they had no entries in the ACLs tables so it was impossibles to connect. I has to wipe them all and re-create at least one user with proper authorisations.

    But for now we have half the "Products" section functional, "News" is fully functionnal (simple paged list with links to PDF), "Training" is totaly broken, "Tools" is almost functional, "Shop" not begun, "Contact" not begun for lack of data

    It seems that this DBA has trouble understanding instructions because everytime we ask for something in the next dump, it's there but not fully there (data missing, incorrect, or worse)

    After a meeting with the "developement staff" (understand me and another co-worker) we concluded that he was probably stupid, angry, and on crack.

    I think that's all but i'm having a bad feeling about the further developement of this project; well worse than the one I had in the beginning. But at least it has not been outsourced to india !



  • 1) Keep paper trail

    2) Feed DBA to the wolves when people start asking questions.

    3) Profit Satisfaction

     

    No question marks necessary.



  • InitrodeTF

    Sorry, the voices, they made me do it.

    You should probably redact the company involved anyway to protect the innocent.

    And what with the timing of your post and all...



  • Initrode is not the real name of the company. I signed a NDA and would not risk to break it.

    I used the name of another company in the same field of activity. You know there are an waful lot of them in my country !



  • @ltouroumov said:

    Initrode is not the real name of the company. I signed a NDA and would not risk to break it.

    I used the name of another company in the same field of activity. You know there are an waful lot of them in my country !

    But then you make us think you're really working for Initrode, and that they're full of WTF's (when we should let them have the benefit of doubt).

    Maybe using a memetic company name like Initrode would solve the problem.



  • Maybe WatchCompany (WC) would do it !

    I don't have any acronym for PUKE or CRAP but a little search is needed here and I still have WTF to create.



  • @ltouroumov said:

    But at least it has not been outsourced to india !

    Not yet...

    But DBAs not understanding/listening to instructions from "ordinary mortals"? Not a WTF, happens all the time, which is why you have to work around them as opposed to with them. Just get a server login and do everything yourself, because it will be quicker and you won't have to deal with DBA ego.

    Also, the acronym for After Sales Service is ASS, which I've always thought is appropriate because once a company has your money, you're screwed up the you-know-what...



  • The url to access the After Sales Service is http://sav.watch-company.ch/ (SAV stands for Service Après Vente, it's french).

    Imagine the face of the retailers if they had to enter http://ass.watch-company.ch/ to get it. Not very glamourous on the documentation pamphlet.

     

    And for the DBA, tomorrow my co-worker goes to WC for a meeting (I havent been invited, probably because I was gonny feed the DBA to the wolves as suggested by  "DOA"). But I think he's gonna take a big barrage fire of "Angry developer attack"



  • @ltouroumov said:

    ...Debian+ZendServer ... with an internal DB server (Win2k3+SQL Server 2k5)

    Why, hello there, nice to see you TRWTF!
    @ltouroumov said:
    ...rune some stored proc for the server ACLs...

    Wait - WTF??? There's another one??? My head exploded.



  • @SuperJames74 said:

    Why, hello there, nice to see you TRWTF!

    Hey I didn't chose to use Win 2k3 + Sql Server. I wanted to use a proper Mysql ou PgSql with the default Zend_Db_Table adapter but it didn't seemed to do the trick for the client since they could not sync it with their ERP. Bonus for us, no admin interface to create !

    @SuperJames74 said:
    Wait - WTF??? There's *another one*??

    And since the test DB server is not on their site and they have no mean to access it (hopefully). They created a SP to set the proper ACLs on the Tables/SPs/Triggers/etc... so I don't have do re-apply all the acl's by hand on the server with local users.

    @SuperJames74 said:
    My head exploded.

    I'm sorry for you, really. Is it painful ?



  • @SuperJames74 said:

    Filed
    under: WTFs are like martinis which are like boobs
    <input name="ctl00$ctl00$bcr$bcr$ctl00$PostList$ctl10$ctl23$ctl01" id="ctl00_ctl00_bcr_bcr_ctl00_PostList_ctl10_ctl23_ctl01_State" value="value:Filed%20under%3A%20%3Ca%20href%3D%22%2Ftags%2FWTFs%2Bare%2Blike%2Bmartinis%2Bwhich%2Bare%2Blike%2Bboobs%2Fdefault.aspx%22%20rel%3D%22tag%22%3EWTFs%20are%20like%20martinis%20which%20are%20like%20boobs%3C%2Fa%3E" type="hidden"> [Edit
    Tags]
     

    What?  They always come in sets of three?

     

    They're better when they're "dirty"?

     

    The bartenderess bounced me when I got to grabby with them?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @SuperJames74 said:

    Filed
    under: WTFs are like martinis which are like boobs
    [Edit
    Tags]
     

    What?  They always come in sets of three?

     

    They're better when they're "dirty"?

     

    The bartenderess bounced me when I got to grabby with them?

    Mmm... Shake those martinis for me, baby.



  • @ltouroumov said:

    @SuperJames74 said:
    Why, hello there, nice to see you TRWTF!

    Hey I didn't chose to use Win 2k3 + Sql Server. I wanted to use a proper Mysql ou PgSql with the default Zend_Db_Table adapter but it didn't seemed to do the trick for the client since they could not sync it with their ERP. Bonus for us, no admin interface to create !

    You seriously prefer MySQL over MS SQL? (PostGRE, I'll give ya...)



  • @ltouroumov said:

    ...I'm sorry for you, really. Is it painful ?...


    Just for a sec. :-) I'm just talking shit, man. I figured that the MS insertion into your LAMP stack was forced. Sucks for you.



  • @davedavenotdavemaybedave said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @SuperJames74 said:

    Filed
    under: WTFs are like martinis which are like boobs
    [Edit
    Tags]
     

    What?  They always come in sets of three?

     

    They're better when they're "dirty"?

     

    The bartenderess bounced me when I got to grabby with them?

    Mmm... Shake those martinis for me, baby.

    Martinis are like titties - one's not enough, and three's too many. (There were two WTF's, and I was kind of bzzzzzzzzzzed, so...)



  • Well I prefer open technologies alternatives when they are aviable. Since almost all developers work on mac here (this is not a WTF) it's easyer to use a web browser (for php(my|pg)admin) or a terminal than "MSSQL Visual Studio Something". But sometimes the client has weird needs.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    You seriously prefer MySQL over MS SQL? (PostGRE, I'll give ya...)

    @http://www.postgresql.org/about/history said:
    PostgreSQL, originally called Postgres (...) The name Postgres thus plays off of its predecessor (as in "after Ingres").

    You know, no matter which meaning of "GRE" you'd try, it's completely unrelated to Postgres.

    Also, one VALID case for preferring MySQL over the other two is a low-memory environment, like on an embedded system.



  • @ltouroumov said:

    Well I prefer open technologies alternatives when they are aviable. Since almost all developers work on mac here (this is not a WTF) it's easyer to use a web browser (for php(my|pg)admin) or a terminal than "MSSQL Visual Studio Something". But sometimes the client always has weird needs.

    FTFY.



  •  [quote user="Renan "C#" Sousa"]@ltouroumov said:

    But the client is always goddamn weird.

    FTFY.[/quote]

    FTFM.



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    You seriously prefer MySQL over MS SQL? (PostGRE, I'll give ya...)

    @http://www.postgresql.org/about/history said:
    PostgreSQL, originally called Postgres (...) The name Postgres thus plays off of its predecessor (as in "after Ingres").

    You know, no matter which meaning of "GRE" you'd try, it's completely unrelated to Postgres.

    Sorry I don't know what happened with my shift key there. Some kind of capitalization spasm...

    @bannedfromcoding said:

    Also, one VALID case for preferring MySQL over the other two is a low-memory environment, like on an embedded system.

    Conceded, but normally when people refer to web servers you assume web servers, not, "the tiny web server built-in to this low-memory router." Or whatever low-memory variation you're thinking of.



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    You seriously prefer MySQL over MS SQL? (PostGRE, I'll give ya...)

    @http://www.postgresql.org/about/history said:
    PostgreSQL, originally called Postgres (...) The name Postgres thus plays off of its predecessor (as in "after Ingres").

    You know, no matter which meaning of "GRE" you'd try, it's completely unrelated to Postgres.

    Also, one VALID case for preferring MySQL over the other two is a low-memory environment, like on an embedded system.

    Maybe he was thinking of a grue?

    And you're wrong, there is only one valid case for preferring MySQL over any other RDBMS, and that's if you hate yourself and want to die. Yeah, the server is rock solid, but the tools and libraries are so godawfully buggy that it makes me feel like I'm masturbating with a cheese grater every time I use them. They had some decent tools, then they went and killed said tools and offered a "replacement" in the form of MySQL Workbench, which, if it was a real workbench, would probably be a pile of sawdust because of all the bugs in it. HEY SUN, IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPLACE PERFECTLY GOOD WORKING SOPFTWARE, MAKE SURE THE REPLACEMENT ISN'T A PILE OF HORSESHIT IN COMPARISON.

    Oh wait, I'm talking about a company that decided to pay money for a free RDBMS, and then continued to give it away for free. Somehow I don't think the brightest navigators are steering that ship.

    @ltouroumov said:

     [quote user="Renan "C#" Sousa"]@ltouroumov said:

    But the client is always fucking retarded.

    FTFY.

    FTFM.

    [/quote]

    FTFY.



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    t makes me feel like I'm masturbating with a cheese grater every time I use them.
     

    OUOUUOUOUHHHH

     MENTAL PICTURE PENILE FEELING



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    HEY ORACLE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPLACE PERFECTLY GOOD WORKING SOPFTWARE, MAKE SURE THE REPLACEMENT ISN'T A PILE OF HORSESHIT IN COMPARISON.
    FTFY, although to be fair the graphical tools we had before then weren't exactly not-a-pile-of-horseshit either...



  • Wait...

    You actually tried ANY of the MySQL graphical tools that were available at any point of time?



    ...



    Masochists...



  •  TOAD is the only way to go IMHO



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    Wait...

    You actually tried ANY of the MySQL graphical tools that were available at any point of time?



    ...



    Masochists...

    I tried one. It turns out that it was written by the one guy in the entire universe who wasn't aware that Control-A is supposed to do a "Select All." Another of the many reasons I try to avoid MySQL...



  • Well, being a common user of phpmyadmin i can say it's good.And this one takes in charge the Ctrl+A selection.



  • @TwelveBaud said:

    @The_Assimilator said:
    HEY ORACLE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPLACE PERFECTLY GOOD WORKING SOPFTWARE, MAKE SURE THE REPLACEMENT ISN'T A PILE OF HORSESHIT IN COMPARISON.
    FTFY, although to be fair the graphical tools we had before then weren't exactly not-a-pile-of-horseshit either...

    No, I specifically mentioned Sun because the decision was made before Oracle decided to buy them out.

    Also, while MySQL is the database to use if you hate yourself, Sybase is the one to use if you hate yourself, your clients, your coworkers, your loved ones, and pretty much everything alive. MySQL Workbench looks like the best app ever compared to the tools that Sybase supplies: a SQL editor that was written for Windows 3.1 and never updated, a DBA tool that's written in Java, and nothing else. And then they have the gall to charge exhorbitant license fees - on a per-CPU-core basis nonetheless - for this shit. And that's on top of the enormous fees you have to pay their "consultants" to actually get your database up and running, because there ain't no setup.exe supplied.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @bannedfromcoding said:
    Wait...

    You actually tried ANY of the MySQL graphical tools that were available at any point of time?



    ...



    Masochists...

    I tried one. It turns out that it was written by the one guy in the entire universe who wasn't aware that Control-A is supposed to do a "Select All." Another of the many reasons I try to avoid MySQL...

    So, other than having lousy GUI tools (assuming you're such a little girl you have to have a GUI), what's wrong with MySQL?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    @bannedfromcoding said:
    Wait...

    You actually tried ANY of the MySQL graphical tools that were available at any point of time?



    ...



    Masochists...

    I tried one. It turns out that it was written by the one guy in the entire universe who wasn't aware that Control-A is supposed to do a "Select All." Another of the many reasons I try to avoid MySQL...

    So, other than having lousy GUI tools (assuming you're such a little girl you have to have a GUI), what's wrong with MySQL?


    Also, Control-A is supposed to mean "beginning of line".



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    Also, Control-A is supposed to mean "beginning of line".

    Turns out every single app I've ever used in my life is wrong!



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    @TwelveBaud said:
    @The_Assimilator said:
    HEY ORACLE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPLACE PERFECTLY GOOD WORKING SOPFTWARE, MAKE SURE THE REPLACEMENT ISN'T A PILE OF HORSESHIT IN COMPARISON.
    FTFY, although to be fair the graphical tools we had before then weren't exactly not-a-pile-of-horseshit either...

    No, I specifically mentioned Sun because the decision was made before Oracle decided to buy them out.

    Also, while MySQL is the database to use if you hate yourself, Sybase is the one to use if you hate yourself, your clients, your coworkers, your loved ones, and pretty much everything alive. MySQL Workbench looks like the best app ever compared to the tools that Sybase supplies: a SQL editor that was written for Windows 3.1 and never updated, a DBA tool that's written in Java, and nothing else. And then they have the gall to charge exhorbitant license fees - on a per-CPU-core basis nonetheless - for this shit. And that's on top of the enormous fees you have to pay their "consultants" to actually get your database up and running, because there ain't no setup.exe supplied.

    You've obviously never used Pervasive SQL : BTrieve with a SQL layer on top.  But I have to admint that Pervasive SQL's tools were MUCH better than anything from Oracle.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @bannedfromcoding said:
    Also, Control-A is supposed to mean "beginning of line".

    Turns out every single app I've ever used in my life is wrong!

    You are correct, they have been.  I bet you use those braindead ones that binds Ctrl+C to "copy" instead of Ctrl+Insert.  Wtf.



  • @Xyro said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    @bannedfromcoding said:
    Also, Control-A is supposed to mean "beginning of line".

    Turns out every single app I've ever used in my life is wrong!

    You are correct, they have been.  I bet you use those braindead ones that binds Ctrl+C to "copy" instead of Ctrl+Insert.  Wtf.

    This is where the Mac is actually good: Control-A is beginning of line in most apps and ⌘-A is select all (again, in most apps). The ⌘ key mostly maps to Ctrl which leaves the real Control for unix shortcuts. Extra meta keys are always useful!



  • @Zemm said:

    This is where the Mac is actually good: Control-A is beginning of line in most apps and ⌘-A is select all (again, in most apps). The ⌘ key mostly maps to Ctrl which leaves the real Control for unix shortcuts. Extra meta keys are always useful!

    No joke, I'm an old-school Mac user (from back when it didn't suck, before the Linux nerds and fashion show designers were put in charge of the UI.) I've always been annoyed at Microsoft's failure to make good use of their third meta key (Windows) even after seeing Apple's good example.

    For those unfamiliar: the Command key performs a command. The Option key shows additional options. Always. Consistently. (The Control key, in Mac Classic, was only present for DOS/Windows compatibility. It did mostly nothing.) The Mac Classic system was designed by sane usability experts with no consideration for backwards compatibility.

    Mac shortcuts:
    Prioritize the left hand (so you can use them without taking your hand off your mouse-- this is why Paste is Command-V instead of Command-P. The much-less-frequently-used Print is Command-P.)
    Are mnemonics whenever possible (Q for Quit, C for Copy, A for select All, etc.)
    If a key is used for a shortcut more than its primary function (for example, F1 for Help), Apple actually labels the key for its shortcut. They did this for Help and Eject, to the extent that on modern Macs you can't even tell that Help was F1 and Eject was F12 at some point.

    Windows, on the other hand-- well, some commands are performed by Control (like Paste), some by Alt (like Close Window), yet others by Windows (like Lock Workstation). The Shift key sometimes shows additional options except when it doesn't. The Windows key is kind of a modifier, but also kind of not a modifier as it has a function when hit on its own. The right-click key is ... I guess for people who only have a 1-button mouse? And what the fuck mnemonic is Alt-F4?

    Anyway. Point is, Mac shortcuts *used* to be well-thought-out and designed, whereas Windows shortcuts were a mish-mash of shortcuts copied from popular legacy apps, new shortcuts from Windows 95, and acid-induced hallucinations. Now that OS X's UI is in the control of Linux geeks with absolutely no consideration for usability, it'll soon be in the same boat.

    (If it's not already-- the Control key shortcuts you're talking about are only there because the Linux geeks expect them! Oh, and meta keys are not useful if they cost you usability points.)

    One last note: going to the beginning of a line in Mac Classic is Command-Left Arrow. (My memory might be faulty here-- it's been a long time.) But the point is, that shortcut already existed, so now they have *two* shortcuts to do the same thing just so some Linux geek could save 30 seconds of memorization time. That is not a good indicator.


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