Kind Words?



  • Some people in a hospital in Brazil had an idea to help cancer patients cope with their condition and improve their attitude, and thus health. People can send the hospital messages - the "get well soon" or "we're praying for you" kind - either through twitter (@doepalavras) or through their site (www.doepalavras.com.br). Both are in portuguese, but I've seen messages in a handful of languages. These messages are then displayed in monitors in the hospital rooms and corridors for the patients to see.

    The expression "Doe Palavras", the name of this project, means "donate words".

    So some friends of mine were questioning the merit of this idea, since even though the intent is good, it's also a very effective troll bait. Seems the thing is moderated, so they were prepared for it. However, many trolls noawadays are more given to subtlety and discretion, and when you add that to human error, we get some funny messages appearing in their site.

    I'll quote some I've seen (translated, and I don't think they'll be displayed in either site by now):

    Greetings from my family. Every Dick is standing up for you. Have a rock hard faith and things'll be ok. -Joe Dick
    Get well soon, you'll recover fine :) just believe in yourself and do a barrel roll! -Anonymous
    I know a handful of people who were in your condition and got fine. Just keep your heads up. -Horny Donkey


  •  Why is it people still think the Internet is full of loving, caring people, and where are all the sites that perpetuate that view?



  • @Master Chief said:

     Why is it people still think the Internet is full of loving, caring people, and where are all the sites that perpetuate that view?

     

    The internet is full of loving and caring people. However it's allso full of assholes.



  • Wow.  I can't wait for CommieCare to go into effect in America so we can be blessed with brillant ideas like this.

    Patient:  Doctor, when are you going to start chemo?  I'm just so terrified.

    Bureaucrat:  I'm not actually a doctor, I'm just your local Magistrate of Health.  And I'm sorry, but the accountants in D.C. just don't think chemotherapy is cost-effective.  Don't worry, though, we've installed a flatscreen monitor in your room showing anonymous Tweets from the Internet hoping you get well soon.

    Patient:  Can't I at least see my family?  Or the hospital chaplain?

    Bureaucrat:  I'm sorry, but family visits just aren't cost-effective.  Someone could hurt themselves and then sue us.  And we've eliminated the hospital chaplain because atheists felt discriminated against.  We do have a video of an agitated Richard Dawkins shouting that you are a freak accident of nature in a cold, lonely, godless universe.  Would that would make you feel better?

    Patient:  No, no, that's alright.  Can I have a drink of water?

    Bureaucrat:  Well, see, it's just not cost-effective to waste water on someone who is probably going to be dead in a year.  We do have an excellent Maureen Dowd column that is as refreshing as a cold glass of water, though.  Would you like that?



  •  Morbius is a god of humor.



  • @JohnWestMinor said:

     Morbius is a god of humor.

    I agree. My favorite part is how I never have any God damn clue if he's being part serious. Is it an actual rant against "Obamacare" or is he making fun of anti-Obamacare types? It serves perfectly as either and both!

    Really I just come on here every day to skim for the Morbs posts.

    BTW: thanks Morbs.



  • @superjer said:

    @JohnWestMinor said:

     Morbius is a god of humor.

    I agree. My favorite part is how I never have any God damn clue if he's being part serious. Is it an actual rant against "Obamacare" or is he making fun of anti-Obamacare types? It serves perfectly as either and both!

    Really I just come on here every day to skim for the Morbs posts.

    BTW: thanks Morbs.

     

     What they said.



  •  Meh.

    I guess I'm just jaded.



  • As opposed to this:


    @morbiuswilters said:

    Wow.  I can't wait for CommieCare to go into effect With HMO's in America so we can be are blessed with brillant ideas like this.

    Patient:  Doctor, when are you going to start chemo?  I'm just so terrified.

    Bureaucrat:  I'm not actually a doctor, I'm just your local Magistrate of Health HMO lackey.  And I'm sorry, but the accountants in D.C. the HMO just don't think chemotherapy is cost-effective.  Don't worry, though, we've installed a flatscreen monitor in your room showing anonymous Tweets from the Internet hoping you get well soon.

    Patient:  Can't I at least see my family?  Or the hospital chaplain?

    Bureaucrat:  I'm sorry, but family visits just aren't cost-effective.  Someone could hurt themselves and then sue us.  And we've eliminated the hospital chaplain because atheists felt discriminated against and they could sue us.  We do have a video of an agitated Richard Dawkins shouting that you are a freak accident of nature in a cold, lonely, godless universe.  Would that would make you feel better?

    Patient:  No, no, that's alright.  Can I have a drink of water?

    Bureaucrat:  Well, see, it's just not cost-effective to waste water on someone who is probably going to be dead in a year.  We do have an excellent Maureen Dowd column that is as refreshing as a cold glass of water, though.  Would you like that?

    There being numerous documented abuses of power by HMO companies in the US.



  • @superjer said:

    Is it an actual rant against "Obamacare" or is he making fun of anti-Obamacare types? It serves perfectly as either and both!

    Like with (religious) fundamentalists etc. the most delusional mostly serve as their own parody.

     

    In Morb's case it's got to be parody though: "Commie" and "not cost-effective" just don't go well together.



  • @JohnWestMinor said:

     Morbius is a god of humor.

    An evil god of humor, but ... hm ... yeah, pretty much.



  • US HMOs: combining the mandatory payments of socialised healthcare with the debt spike and cost control in a subject you don't understand of pay as you go and adding unique disincentives to change employer. An exemplar to the rest of the world.



  • @OzPeter said:

    As opposed to this:


    @morbiuswilters said:

    Wow.  I can't wait for CommieCare to go into effect With HMO's in America so we can be are blessed with brillant ideas like this.

    Patient:  Doctor, when are you going to start chemo?  I'm just so terrified.

    Bureaucrat:  I'm not actually a doctor, I'm just your local Magistrate of Health HMO lackey.  And I'm sorry, but the accountants in D.C. the HMO just don't think chemotherapy is cost-effective.  Don't worry, though, we've installed a flatscreen monitor in your room showing anonymous Tweets from the Internet hoping you get well soon.

    Patient:  Can't I at least see my family?  Or the hospital chaplain?

    Bureaucrat:  I'm sorry, but family visits just aren't cost-effective.  Someone could hurt themselves and then sue us.  And we've eliminated the hospital chaplain because atheists felt discriminated against and they could sue us.  We do have a video of an agitated Richard Dawkins shouting that you are a freak accident of nature in a cold, lonely, godless universe.  Would that would make you feel better?

    Patient:  No, no, that's alright.  Can I have a drink of water?

    Bureaucrat:  Well, see, it's just not cost-effective to waste water on someone who is probably going to be dead in a year.  We do have an excellent Maureen Dowd column that is as refreshing as a cold glass of water, though.  Would you like that?

    There being numerous documented abuses of power by HMO companies in the US.
     

    No, no, no, you've completely fouled it up:

     

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Wow.  I can't wait for
    CommieCare to go into effect
    With HMO's in America so we can
    be
    are blessed with brillant ideas like this.

    Patient: 
    Doctor, when are you going to start chemo?  I'm just so terrified.

    Bureaucrat: 
    I'm not actually a doctor, I'm just your local Magistrate of
    Health
    HMO lackey.  And I'm sorry, but the accountants in D.C.
    the HMO just don't think chemotherapy is cost-effective.  Don't worry,
    though, we've installed a flatscreen monitor in your room showing
    anonymous Tweets from the Internet hoping you get well soon
    . canceled your health insurance entirely, now that you're sick. 

    Patient: 
    Can't I at least see my family?  Or the hospital chaplain?

    Bureaucrat:  Didn't you hear me? You aren't insured anymore. Get the fuck out of the hospital already. You're not even going to be able to afford the bill for the three minutes we've spent talking.


     



  • @Tyler said:

    No, no, no, you've completely fouled it up:

    I was wondering about that.  It seems OzPeter got lazy after the first couple of sentences.  Your retardation is much more complete.



  • Do a barrel roll!



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    We do have a video of an agitated Richard Dawkins shouting that you are a freak accident of nature in a cold, lonely, godless universe.  Would that would make you feel better?

    Link or it didn't happen.



  • @The_Assimilator said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    We do have a video of an agitated Richard Dawkins shouting that you are a freak accident of nature in a cold, lonely, godless universe.  Would that would make you feel better?

    Link or it didn't happen.

    I don't need a link to believe this. Dawkins is an asshole.



  •  No, no, it's still wrong!

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Wow.  I can't wait for
    CommieCare to go into effect With HMO's in America so we can
    be are blessed with brillant ideas like this.
    Jumping off the roof into the swimming pool is going to be AWESOME. Be sure to get it on film!

     later

    Patient: 
    Doctor, when are you going to set my leg and stop the profuse bleeding?

    Bureaucrat: 
    I'm not actually a doctor, I'm just your local Magistrate of
    Health
    HMO lackey.  And I'm sorry, but your coverage has been cancelled. It seems we don't insure people stupid enough to get hurt. It didn't help that you filmed it.

    Patient: 
    Can't I at least see my family?  Or the hospital chaplain?

    Bureaucrat: 
    Didn't you hear me? You aren't insured anymore. Get the fuck out of the
    hospital already. You're not even going to be able to afford the bill
    for the three minutes we've spent talking. Also, we've cancelled their coverage because they share genes with you.

     


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