Job Offer - Any Takers?



  • I felt the need to share this job advert that I just received from a recruitment agent, needless to say, I don't intend to apply, and not only because I'm not a .NET developer:

    My client has a very complicated  '3-page' .NET application for use with their clients. It was written internally approximately 3 years ago and intended for an IE6 browser audience. However it was never considered for Firefox browsers, it doesn't render properly when a Firefox browser is used. Principally, the JQuery lookups to the Oracle back end are troublesome, but also AJAX and CSS are not working as well as they should. So might client is looking to engage a contractor for 5 weeks to fix it.



  • Sounds like just what I'm looking for. I know nothing about those technologies, but plainly nor do they. Any contractor who can't spin that out into 5 months playing solitaire just isn't trying hard enough. :)



  • @DaveyDaveDave said:

    Principally, the JQuery lookups to the Oracle back end are troublesome

    Awesome!



  • @DaveyDaveDave said:

    the JQuery lookups to the Oracle back end are troublesome
    Is this a job in England?  The Brits are famous for their understated humor.  Also, humor involving men in drag.  There's really no middle ground with those guys, is there?  And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?

    What were we talking about again?



  • @bstorer said:

    And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?

    Boning one of the hottest pieces of ass in the world, Katy Perry?  No, that's just heartbreaking.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?

    Boning one of the hottest pieces of ass in the world, Katy Perry?  No, that's just heartbreaking.

    She'd be hotter if she didn't attempt that awful caterwauling that she calls singing.  Or talk, for that matter.  This pretty much applies to all women.

    As to Brand, I really don't get his half-sober mincing persona.  It's like he's doing a Jack Sparrow impersonation.  Or maybe Depp just copied him when he played Jack Sparrow?  Either way, I don't see the appeal.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?

    Boning one of the hottest pieces of ass in the world, Katy Perry?  No, that's just heartbreaking.

    She'd be hotter if she didn't attempt that awful caterwauling that she calls singing.  Or talk, for that matter.  This pretty much applies to all women.

    As to Brand, I really don't get his half-sober mincing persona.  It's like he's doing a Jack Sparrow impersonation.  Or maybe Depp just copied him when he played Jack Sparrow?  Either way, I don't see the appeal.

    I think he's one of David Blaine's more convincing stunts.



  • @bstorer said:

    She'd be hotter if she didn't attempt that awful caterwauling that she calls singing.  Or talk, for that matter.  This pretty much applies to all women.

    True, but Katy Perry is so goddamned bonerific, I'd let her talk any time she wanted.  Hell, I might even go so far as to listen once in awhile.



  • @davedavenotdavemaybedave said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?

    Boning one of the hottest pieces of ass in the world, Katy Perry?  No, that's just heartbreaking.

    She'd be hotter if she didn't attempt that awful caterwauling that she calls singing.  Or talk, for that matter.  This pretty much applies to all women.

    As to Brand, I really don't get his half-sober mincing persona.  It's like he's doing a Jack Sparrow impersonation.  Or maybe Depp just copied him when he played Jack Sparrow?  Either way, I don't see the appeal.

    I think he's one of David Blaine's more convincing stunts.
    If David Blaine wants to impress people, he should consider a stunt where he manages to go a whole week without anyone feeling an urge to punch him in the face.  Now THAT would be magic.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Katy Perry is so goddamned bonerific
     

    +1 boner



  • @bstorer said:

    And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?


    I'm English. I think Russell Brand sucks!





  • @davedavenotdavemaybedave said:

    Sounds like just what I'm looking for. I know nothing about those technologies, but plainly nor do they. Any contractor who can't spin that out into 5 months playing solitaire just isn't trying hard enough. :)
     

     

    It was 5 weeks not 5 months...

    I know it's only a small difference.



  • @MeesterTurner said:

    @bstorer said:
    And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?


    I'm English. I think Russell Brand sucks!
    Bless you, sir.  If you swap that Earl Grey out for a triple shot mochaccino and acquire an almost sexual fascination with guns, you might have a future as an American.



  • boneriffic



  • @EJ_ said:

    boneriffic

    Oh, jeez.  Look at that.  Russell Brand jizzed all over her.



  • @bstorer said:

    Bless you, sir.  If you swap that Earl Grey out for a triple shot mochaccino and acquire an almost sexual fascination with guns, you might have a future as an American.




    Our office vending machine does Espresso-choc. Will that do instead? Now I'm off to read Playgun magazine in the toilet, I may be some time :-)



  • @Obi-Wan said:

    @davedavenotdavemaybedave said:

    Any contractor who can't spin that out into 5 months playing solitaire just isn't trying hard enough. :)
     

    It was 5 weeks not 5 months...

     

    Clearly you are not a contractor.



  •  the JQuery lookups to the Oracle back end are troublesome

    that really sounds like this years' Aprils Fool article :D

     Think about how much code you’d not have to write if you could go
    directly to your database from Client Script.

    lol

     (Edi: here it is: APDB)



  • @EJ_ said:

    boneriffic

    Is that from bukkake video?


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.