Official Membership Thread -- Just Reply Here!

  • Count me in as well.

  • Wooohoooo!!! I really hate Oracle! I hate Oracle like I hate the thousand arms of Shiva up my ass!  I hate Oracle with the burning passion of a thousand suns!!

    Know how to convert a SQL project to Oracle? Easy, just double your staff and triple your budget, the rest is cake!


  • Count me in.

  • Oh I'm in baby.

    Oracle is a complete piece of shit! I ended up using SQL Query analyzer via a linked server to run queries against the Oracle database. That SQL+ (I call it SQL-) tool is completely worthless.  If I ever have to develop another app for Oracle I will start looking for another job.

    It also has to be the worst documented product EVER. As an experienced SQL developer / DBA, it still took me DAYS to figure out how to create an Oracle stored procedure that could return a recordset to my .NET app. WTF!


  • I'm in!

  • I think this might just be the best club on the planet.

  • I am so in this!!!

  • Oracle haters, I urge you to strive for happiness.  Happiness can occur through knowledge.  Learn more, bitch less.

  • I would like to join your fine establishment.

    I have never had to suffer through Oracle administration or development myself, but I am tired as hell of hearing about Oracle. Noone has ever been able to explain to me why Oracle is worth all the extra licensing fees and man-hours. What does Oracle do that any one of a dozen other database engines don't (aside from marketing the hell out of itself)?

  • give me my membership welcome pack and free member's t-shirt

  • <font face="Verdana">ladies and gentlemen, it is my first ever post in the entertaining forum.

    Oracle Haters Club? Count me in!

  • Add me in too, I had to do some work w/ PHP and Oracle. What a nightmare ...

  • How many Oracle DBAs does it take to change a lightbulb ?

    Three:  it takes three Oracle DBAs to do anything.  P.S.  Don't forget you will also need a UNIX system administrator to turn the power off and on.

    How many SQL Server DBAs does it take to change a lightbuld ?

    None - SQL Server automatically changes lightbulbs.

    Seriously: In August I quit my very high paying DBA Manager job and took at 30% pay cut so I would not have to deal with Oracle any longer.  Some total cost of ownership experiences included:

    1. For 60 SQL Servers, all operational activity took about 2 hours per day for one person. For 12 Oracle servers, it took 2 full time Oracle DBAs plus a Linux/Sun Solaris sys admin. Try explaning that to senior management when they budgeted 1/4 of an Oracle DBA for ops support.
    2. Want Oracle to automatically start when the OS starts ?  Oh, you have both Oracle 8 and 9 running on the same server ?  Oracle tech support said only one could be set to autostart.  The Company's Linux and Oracle DBA took 3 days to get this to work.
    3. Create a table and define as "index organized" which is the equivalent of a SQL Server "clustered index".  Want to have another index on the Oracle table ?  Not supported!
    4. Write a SQL Statement like:
      select, (select max(x) from fum where =
      from Foo
      Then test under SQL*Plus - works fine.
      Now encapsulate in a stored procedure - not supported!


  • <font face="Courier New" size="2"><font size="1">

    • "Write a SQL Statement like:
      select, (select max(x) from fum where =
      from Foo
      Then test under SQL*Plus - works fine.
      Now encapsulate in a stored procedure - not supported!"

    <font face="Verdana">I hate Oracle as much as the next guy, but any tard that uses SQL like that should be dragged out and shot.


  • Count me in;)

  • A lot of things makes me hate Oracle, but here are the two main reasons.  I ain't a DBA, so all the setup and maintenance thing is unknown to me, I'm talking as a developper.

    1- Can't have upper and lower case letters in field names, forcing to use underscore to separate words in a field name instead of a uppercase letter.

    2- Empty string and null are considered the same... only database I know of that does this.


    Thanks for having a place where I can't share my hate before I destroy the server at the office.[:@]

  • Ok so  here it is :

    1 - Oracle object name size limit is 30 ... WTF ?

    2 - Role security is the pits ... Security assigned to roles don't work in procs or views ? What the crap is it good for then ?

    3 - GUI = Crappy for a company that makes billions a year....

    4 - # of bugs is quite impressive.

    5 - Installer ... lets not talk about that one.

    6 - Yeah you can customize and tweek it like crazy, but exactly i'm not crazy.

    7 - Took them a while to get the cost base optimizer up to par ...  and that crazy rule base optimizer was driving us mad...

    8 - And so on and so on and so on.

    9 - Oh and almost forgot ...Larry Ellison.. Don't you just hate that guy... And ask all those PeopleSoft people who got their pink slips in the mail ...

    Ok that's it for now.



  • "Can't have upper and lower case letters in field names..."

    You can, but you have to put them in double quotes in your SQL.

  • Oh another anoyance : alter a column to make it nullable, if it already is it crashes with 1451 cannot make column nullable (same to make it not nullable). Why does it have to give an error ... It's already null so don't crash and the world is happy.


  • Oh yeah baby, let me join 🙂

  • Hey, they got ANSI jons in 9i!

    But count me in, I hate this crap.

  • Membership should be mandatory for any developer and admin working with this piece of crap.

    We need an Intifada!

  • Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! I wanna be part of it [:)] I hate Oracle Soooooooooooo much!!![st][8o|][li]

  • I must say, I HATE everything about Oracle...

    <FONT face=Arial>...Unfortunately, our company has a enterprise-wide license for it, so I am kind of stuck using it.</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial>I started using Oracle 8i. The Oracle GUI tool for administering the database was in Java, with 2 panes and a tree on the left-hand side, similar to a Windows Explorer-like interface...</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial>I remember when we expanded the nodes on the left-hand side, the pane was too narrow to read all of the text. When we would try to resize the pane using the splitter, or tried to resize the window itself, there was a 50% chance the application would crash - so we didn't resize ANYTHING.</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial>I thought this was somewhat amusing at the time. Kind of pathetic, but we did have a few laughs at this. This was my first experience with Oracle products, and over the years my opinion of them has only gotten increasingly worse.</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial>- -</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial>I'm supposed to be working with Oracle right now actually. I won't go into the details, but I am having all sorts of problems problems with version 10g I am trying to setup, making me want to go out and shoot myself. So I typed "hate oracle" in google and I must say, I do feel a whole lot better now.</FONT>

  • I'm lucky enough to have missed out on Oracle until now.  I
    thought all of you were were over-stating how bad it is.  How
    could it be such a POS??  But it is!  Count me in for sure 🙂

  • hi i wanna join thanks

  • Well, after reading and enjoying this thread a couple of months ago I didn't feel a need to actually join, even though I hated Oracle. I used to love it years ago, when the only choice was Sybase and Oracle.

    But after my experience last week, the level of hate is now unsurpassed:

    A client of ours uses Oracle 9i for the backend of our application - we can run on Oracle, SQL server and Sybase (bad also). Due to the slightly legacy nature of the app, we were using LONGs and LONG RAWs for the large text fields and binary objects. Client bitches and moans and wants to change these into LOB datatypes, as support for the others is dropped and may not be in a future release. Fairly straightforward request, yes?

    The Microsoft ODBC driver for Oracle doesn't support LOBs - OK, fair enough, I can deal with this. Oracle's own ODBC driver is probably the way to go, after all - you'd expect the DATABASE VENDOR to have a COMPLETELY WORKING DRIVER. Too much to ask?

    Apparently, yes.

    Plugged the application into the new driver. Speed *seems* OK in general, but an annoying super slowness on initial opening of many of the main windows. Turned on tracing of the server (that was fun), and compared performance between the drivers for the same query.

    Result: try using the Oracle ODBC driver and use bind variables for dates, e.g.

           select FIELD from TABLE where DATE_FIELD = :1, date field is indexed, btw.

    For a 50000 row table, this took about 10 seconds to return 0 rows.

    Can you say 'full table scan' anyone?

    This works fine on the MS driver, or if I don't use a bind and hardcode the value with the TO_DATE function. But whatever you do, DON'T BIND DATES!!!

    Oh, and after some reading on the web, everybody says to avoid the Oracle ODBC driver. Some Fanboi's were rabbitting on about 'You can't expect the database vendor to deal with the middleware, you should let them concentrate on the database engine' and actually DEFENDING this shite product.

    Frickin' Oracle.

    rant over. thank you for listening *sigh*

  • My name is Sean and I'm an Oracle user, and it has been 2 hours since my last crash.

    1. Huge resources (RAM,HDD,Proc.) demand because old technology (static allocation).

       Even for an ODBC client install, installer write huge data on HDD

      (1 G instead of 1-10 M, why ?).

    1. Level of documentation, support and cost of them.

    1. Huge cost for computer  ,  DBA,  becose 
      the  software  is a shit, has no knowledge of
      auto-administration and dynamic allocation.

    1. Incorporated tools are primitive/slow (SQL-, OEM slow) so everyone use TOAD.

    1. Java is slow, slow, slow like his mother Oracle.

       (Why Oracle forbid comparative benchmark ?).

    1. TSN Name Service.

    1. Dificulty for replication and clustering setup, in fact for everything.

    1. Cost of licencing (40,000 - 80,000 USD), no comment.

    Alternatives based on yours requirements:

    Ingres, PostgreSQL/EDB, Firebird/Fyracle, Mysql as free software.

    SQL Server is a much better choice from commercial area (decent price, resources, speed, maintenance, ... )

  • I don't just hate "Crapacle", I detest its very existance. I just tried to uninstall this POS, and I relalized that Oracle's dictionary of f*#@ed up terms defines "uninstall" as "anything you can do to thoroughly piss off the end user on their way out." I, being a part of the real world, mistakenly thought that running an uninstaller for a peice of software was actually removing it. However, Oracle has corrected my oversight:

    • The oracle home still exists in C:\ in al its bloated glory.
    • The Oracle directory still exists in C:\Program Files.

    Also, I'm sure System32 has not been cleaned out either, but I'm too lazy to wade through the deluge of dynamic link libraries and OCX's. Besides, I think I have suffered enough at the hands of Crapacle. However, I guess that are getting better. After all, the last time I had to uninstall Oracle (my school forced us to use it in our database classes), the services (TNS Listener, etc.) weren't removed.

    On the other hand, for the amount of work the uninstaller actually did - both then an now - it took a painfully long time (30 minutes). I mean, how long does it take to uninstall a few services and delete a start menu directory? But once again, my naivety is getting the better of me - once a POS, always a POS.

    Oh, and while I am ranting like madman, what's up with the way Crapacle does IDENTITY columns? A sequence attached to a trigger? Even MySQL has the concept of autonumber columns, and that's a database at its most basic!

  • I had to work with the version that didn't have SQL 92 support (JOIN, etc).  Not to mention that it doesn't come with a usable query tool.  We used FreeToad (which, if I remember correctly, wasn't even free).

  • Sign me up!

    • Stupid naming convention
      • VARCHAR2
      • NVL2
    • Zero-length string treated as NULL
      • Try evaluating "select decode('',null,'is null','not null') from dual"
    • Horrid installation
    • Client configuration is a nightmare
    • List could go on

  • [8o|] He11 yes! Count me in, too.

    Idea: A Windows program that won't let you uninstall its installer without editing the registry.

    I love it!

  • Hey! Top 100. I pwned all those l33t doods!

    I'm in if only for the fact that everytime I see a picture of Ellison on tv or in print I want to kill myself. I can't think of anyone with a more smug, "everyone is slime" look on their face. And he could not try any harder to want to be Bill Gates than anyone I have ever seen.

  • me too...

  • ok




  • I'm sooooooo in. I have to use Oracle 8i for a course at university,
    and it thoroughly pisses me off. No readable joins (WHERE-based joins
    suck!), no proper autonumbering (how hard can it be to have a SERIAL
    type that triggers creation of a few utilities like Postgres does?).

    I actually managed to emulate Postgres-style table inheritance using a
    table, a view and a trigger (but I might yet need another trigger).

  • I can't believe there are so many members of the IHOC and nobody has mentioned hints yet.

    I hate their hints.  If you want any kind of performance you have to use hints.  Booo!  Hiss!



  • Count me in too ... down with the Oracle Gods

  • Count me in, too.

    Oracle does quite a few things well... but being learner-friendly is [i]not[/i] one of them.  I work as a professor's assistant for a database systems course, and the coursework is done in Oracle using iSQLPlus (the HTML interface).

    Suffice it to say that there's a dent in the classroom wall in the shape of my head.

    However, I will say that it could be worse... previous semesters used Access.

  • Oh, and one more thing... I'm one of those "Microsoft hating Linux zealots" you keep hearing about... and I agree that MS SQL is better than Oracle.  Of course, that's saying that having one's testicles crushed is better than having a limb severed with a rusty blade.

    Personally, I prefer the open-source databases (particularly PostgreSQL).  I've been pushing for a switch but apparently the Powers That Be believe that having resume fodder ("experience with Oracle") is more important than actually learning.

  • Hell,  I just joined this site so I could get a membership.

    Most shiteful database evah!

  • Count me in too - I've never had to deal with Orable, and I hope I never will...

  • @Albatross said:

    Count me in too - I've never had to deal with Orable, and I hope I never will...

    Not exactly what you'd call an open mind!

  • Hallo, I'm more of a hardware guy, servers and routers and workstations and whatnot, but a lot of the apps on our shopfloor, that I support, have interactions with Oracle for one reason or the other.

    A VP in out company has this bunch of EASL people "Dataroads" and they are supposed to help us support Oracle.

    So basically since we have had this 3rd party support team we've had 2 total system outages since its decided to add 100meg archive files every minute till our cluster server had 7megs of space left and promptly crashed.

    I don't support Oracle, but since Oracle doesn't support me either, I HATE ORACLE!

  • IM IN iFho

  • @Le Poete said:

    A lot of things makes me hate Oracle, but here are the two main reasons.  I ain't a DBA, so all the setup and maintenance thing is unknown to me, I'm talking as a developper.

    1- Can't have upper and lower case letters in field names, forcing to use underscore to separate words in a field name instead of a uppercase letter.

    2- Empty string and null are considered the same... only database I know of that does this.


    Thanks for having a place where I can't share my hate before I destroy the server at the office.[:@]

    You have just found one of the more interesting Oracle WTFs.  #1 - Yes, you can use case to distinguish objects names.  Oracle is case sensitive everywhere, but they don't want it to look that way, so they automatically uppercase object names for you in statements.  If you issue:

    CREATE TABLE bob (col1 NUMBER(8,2));

    Then you've created a table called "BOB" with a column called "COL1".  So, if you issue:

    SELECT * FROM boB;

    It will work because oracle will actually modify your statement to:


    So far, it loks like Oracle is actually case insensitive for object names, that uppercasing stuff is just the implementation.  But try this:

    CREATE TABLE "bob" ("col1" NUMBER(8,2));

    You have just created a table called "bob" with a column called "col1".

    Now try:

    SELECT * FROM bob;

    It won't work.  Oracle uppercases your statement to:


    And you aren't accessing that table you made with the same case.  So, yes you can make mixed case object names, but the entire development team will kill you if you do.


  • IMO not a WTF, but well-documented behaviour. Using quotes, you cannot only use lowercase letters, but other characters as well.

    create table "i don't like Oracle" ( "just kidding ;-)" varchar2(30));

    create synonym "i hate Oracle" for "i don't like Oracle";

    insert into "i hate Oracle" values ('La Poete');

    select * from "i hate Oracle";

    If you use quotes during creation, you have to use them for your DML statements, too. (Unless the name consists of only uppercase letters)

  • Sure, it's documented and intended that way.  But that doesn't make a non-WTF.  The behavoir would be fine if they didn't force non-quoted identifiers to uppercase.  I teach Oracle development and I can't think of another issue that causes as many funny looks as this one (except maybe dual).

  • Yes, this is refreshing to see.


    At one time (years ago) I had respect for some of Oracle's core products.


    Now 18 months into an 11i Apps "implmentation", all I see is a large, steaming pile of camel dung.


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