Official Membership Thread -- Just Reply Here!

  • <font style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">Since I'm too busy to create a membership database thing, just a simple reply will get you membership in the exclusive I Hate Oracle Club (IHOC).

    Your Official Membership Number number will be the order in which you reply, so reply early and get a cool 1 or 2 digit number!</font>

  • Me Too!

    OMG W00t!!! Member number 2!!

    Seriously. Oracle and TOAD are teh sux0rz!!!11Shift+One

    Did you know Oracle backwards is "el caro" in Spanish which translates to "the expensive one"??

    I especially like "tablespaces" ? wtf? How about sticking with the Server>Database>Schema>Table hierarchy? something that makes sense perhaps?

    Don't even get me started on how you need tns aliases in your tnsnames.ora file if you don't want to run a TNS directory service on your network. teh lame.

  • Never content to use something that ALREADY WORKS, how about a few (bronx) cheers for the Oracle Installer?  Could there be a more non-intuitive way to install software?

  • Absolutely despise it

    My first experience was doing a data transfer from an old Oracle DB that had no documentation. After that, things only got worse.

    Count me in!

  • Count me in.   I hate that damn product.  

    Everything about it, from VARCHAR2 to the fact you can't just pass a datetime value into a datetime field like SQL server can.

    Only thing that is even remotely useful about this peice of bloatware (why do you want to install Apachee when I'm installing a database?) is Packages.    Bundle your stored proc's into like function packages.

  • Count me in.  Ref cursors for resultsets from stored procedures.  2 values for boolean not being enough.  enough said.

    All things considered, stupidity is usually the answer.  -- Darwin's Blade

  • I'm in ! [H]

  • Count me in.

  • I'll play.
    I support a CRM product called SalesLogix, which is supported on either MS SQL or Oracle.
    Lucky enough so far that no one has insisted on using Oracle, and crossing my fingers that nobody ever does.

  • We create another product supporting both Oracle & MS Sql.

    Average time on creating, tuning, debugging AND supporting (including all customers complaining about performance due to the unavoidable bad set-ups) is about 5 times higher on Oracle!


  • count me in too please. oracle is a monster and should go where the dinosaurs are mostly because it's one of them 🙂 there must be a better way to do stuff than what they did and if it's such a good database and they have so good programmers, then why the hell can't they write a descent user interface?

  • Please count me in as #12 member. I just hate this crappy piece of bloatware!

  • Well, besides providing only command-line-tools (which basically sucks bigtime) to "administer" the db, the following is extremely intuitive, don't you think:

    need to type sqlplus "myuser/mypassword@mydatabase as sysdba" (mind the double quotes, whereas you have to type exp 'myuser/mypassword@mydatabase as sysdba' (mind the single quotes).

    Well, in fact Oracle 10g got a bit better regarding installation and  administration and performance, it got worse in terms of stability :-).

    Comparing Oracle management "tools" with the new SQL Server Management Studio (Yukon Beta 2) is quite unfair.

  • <font style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #efefef">God I fucking hate Oracle.  Editing tsnames.ora files and all that crap.  and sql*plus what a joke.  The only way I was able to get anything remotely done was using TOAD.  Oh and I really loved their java administration tools.  What a piece of shit.  I can't believe they're the number one database vendor in the world.</font>

  • Count me in, and check my recent post on my blog about piece of shit software, and more specifically Oracle.

  • Number 17!!

  • Number 18!

  • w00t w00t 19!

  • So that must make me number 20. Assuming I'm not disqualified that is. You see, a long time ago I used to love Oracle. Versions 5 & 6 in particular. In fact I almost went to work for Oracle UK in 1991... But our paths diverged - from my viewpoint they went over to the dark side. Hell, they became the dark side. I guess it was inevitable: I was, if not a disciple, at least a follower of  Microsoft and Larry - at whose feet I once worshipped - was out to kill Bill (to coin a phrase).

    After a long sojourn in SQLServer land, I was brought back to Oracle a year or so ago. WTF? I don't work there any more.

    I'm working with Sybase now. Can't say that excites me too much, although it does have a certain retro charm: MSSQL oldies who go back as far as 6.5 (which was mostly an - old - Sybase version) would feel right at home. Certainly, most of the optimisation tricks I learnt in 1997 are still valid in a Sybase world...

  • Hurray, finally I feel I'm amongst friends!

  • If you think their database is obtuse on irrational, you should try working with their application servers. Their "e-commerce solution", the Oracle iStore, is such a smoldering bag of dog crap you feel the urge to stomp it out.
      But I digress, are there any IHOC t-shirts?

  • I'm here too [:)]
    Have you ever tried to just open a connection to an Oracle 8.1.x "thing", do a simple SELECT (without using its "wonderful" pointers, of course!!!) and close the connection, and do it many many times? Well, maybe this is not efficient, I know, but this thing I did once was causing Oracle to fill its memory pool and stop working!! You see?? The Best Database Server In The World crashing for such a thing!!! [:D]
    But here comes the best part!  Asking for help on some newsgroup, a big Oracle DBA began to laugh at me because of my way to do that thing, and accusing me to kill the "poor" server!!! In my little world I can't even dream to say something like "hey, take care when using my software, stupid, this way you will make it crash!", but thet can, oh yes!!!  [:O]   So....  apart from Oracle itself, what else do I hate?? Such Oracle DBAs, out there they are soooo much!!!!  


  • I'm in,  I even had to register with that name,  Hah ha.

    We've been working on a Oracle project for >year, its now nicknamed the Orable project.   Its still and will continue to be delayed.   

  • Ok, so I too come from the SQL Server world, and for the past several months have been working in the Oracle world.  The one thing that always amazed me is how difficult it is to return records from a stored procedure.  Today I'm in the process of moving some Stored Procedures from a Package out to standalone, and I just LOVE how things that work for some parts don't work in other parts.  Take for example REF CURSORS.  You can't create a TYPE that is a REF CURSOR unless its in a Package (in the interest of full disclosure, this is now a "built-in" thing in 9i and above).  So, now I get to go create a new standalone package with only one little line in it to hold my beloved type. FUN

    Example here.

    Anyhow, let this be my membership post, and also a little bit venting.


  • No boolean type.  No discreet number types (byte, etc)... ah well, it's another bullet point on the ol' resume I guess.

    Not that I'd take another job that involved this garbage, mind you.

  • I can't join. I never used Oracle so I don't know what a crappy product it really is... [:P]

  • <font color="#006400">I have never worked with Oracle but want to be in the club as I hear about how bad it is everyday.</font>  [:D]

  • I want in!!

  • I'm in!

    I develop ETL processes from multiple systems loading an SQL Server DW. Oracle certainly takes the cake as the most unfriendly database system...
    Just one special pet peeve - NLS_LANG settings on "international" databases - just try converting a column from a database with one setting so it can be read by a client with another setting!

  • I'll join ... but I'm an Oracle guy... it's fun to read the whining in these forums.

  • me 2!!!

  • Count me in as well.  I my job was kind of affected by Oracle.

  • Count me in!

  • <font style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #000000">I only have 3rd party experience, that is to say I've been on the receiving end of some rants from coworkers who had to endure Oracle. The first time I looked at Microsoft SQL Server's Enterprise Manager I knew what to do. Right click here, fill in a name, click off some checkboxes that are intuitively named, and BOOM you have a database table!

    One guy here took 6 hours going through help pages trying to figure out the table heirarchy, and after he finally created a table (at least he THINKS he created a table) he was bragging about how robust the whole system is and the multiple layers of options available. My only thought was... "Who cares? If it takes 6 hours just to create your first table, it's not worth it to me."

    The guy is an anti-Microsoft, open-source pimping Linux zealot. By the way, what number am I? And Alex, why are you only creating 1 and 2-digit account numbers? You'll exceed your boundaries before you know it. Lemme tell ya about some other programmers who thought 2 digits was enough...then someone realized that the year 2000 was coming up...

  • Oh, no... Add me to the list of Oracle victims... One of my teachers has been suggesting to start teaching us about Oracle databases instead of SQL Server...

    I hate it already... And him too.

  • I can't wait until I get promoted high enough to make immediate unquestionable hiring/firing decisions.

    At which point I will fire any employee who suggests Oracle for any project, as he/she clearly does not understand the relationship of profit=revenue-expenses and that profit is good.

  • Count me in!

  • Woohoo! Sign me up!

    And those T-shirts on cafepress are just too cool! I plan on wearing my "twice the cost" shirt to a LOT of Oracle developer conferences!

  • I've worked on a client-server application where for the back-end
    database we had to support Access, SQL Server and Oracle.  Despite
    Access being completely inappropriate for a client-server database,
    Oracle has caused us more problems than Access.

    I also had to use a third-party application for a while that used
    Oracle for it's back-end database.  It had it's own special
    version of the Oracle client that's incompatible with the regular
    Oracle client.  As I learned the hard way, you better not try to
    install it if you already have the regular Oracle client
    installed.  It doesn't help that the uninstall option of the
    Oracle installer doesn't actually uninstall anything, you have to clean
    it up yourself.

  • too. I try to connect to Oracle with my .NET components and just don't know why, it always give me fancy, but fuckin' no-sense error message. Toad, don't even mention toad to me, if you compare to SQL Query Analyser, that stupid toad is totally a [sn] shit...You better take care of your SELECT query or it will just hand there, it the record is like few thousands rows.

    Finally, SQL Plus, is that design for human or just engineer? Simply suck ass. I hate it so much, I hate it deeply....~!!![:@]

  • I hate Oracle. I really hate Oracle and I'm glad I've found people like me !

    I've used other databases and Oracle is a pile of crap. I'd rather eat a poo sandwich than use Oracle again.

    Join me up.

    If you want a membership database, i'll gladly help free of charge - but it is not going to be in Oracle !


  • I've been workin with 10g Application server and i'm so pissed. It's so full of CRAP!

  • Hi All!

    I've been using Oracle 8 and 9 databases on weekly basis. I've been mainly doing

    some maintance work especially with exp and imp executables to import and export

    oracle databases. And all i can say it's been a pain in the ass. Of
    about 10 import's i've done about 1 has gone without any major
    problems. The rest 9 have been total hell. Same goes with the exports.
    It's easy to do an export with the exp.exe, but making an export that
    actually can be imported to other pc is plain HELL. Oh, and the Sql+ is
    a tool from shitwell.

    I think this is enough. There's a lot more though.

  • One gold membership please.

  • Count me in!

    (Customer production system running Oracle version of 8.1.6 or less

    will have the database control file corrupted if the the machine has

    been running 248 days without a reboot. This will require a rebuild

    and recovery of the database.)

  • One more!

  • Count me in!

  • Stupid, perverse and generally uninformative error messages!

  • Count me in. I don't know what my membership number will be but I would really, really like to have

  • i'm in.

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