No wooden table this time



  • Instead, I was emailed a PDF of a scan of a printout of a screenshot of a webpage.

    It's not even a good scan.  It's black and white and super grainy.  And the PDF is in portrait mode, of course, so I have to twist my head to read the webpagescreenshotprintoutscan.

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it here.
    Please send help.



  •  I feel your pain, truly I do.  It's SOP here at my job to make screen prints using Hardcopy, scan them in using the only printer/copier/scanner in the entire department (thus holding up anyone who legitimately needs to print something), then create a PDF from the scanned printouts to be routed through various departments.  The WTFs and proper solutions for this idiocy are obvious, so I won't state them here.  Just know you aren't alone. 😃



  •  @Xyro said:

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it here.
    there there...

    You know my first impulse was to suggest you return the favor somehow, but then I realised it'd be pointless; they'd never get the message. If you throw feces back at a chimpanzee it wont make it smarter, it'll just make it throw more feces at you.



  • @Xyro said:

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it
    here.

    Cut off the  forehead with a machete.

    Just do it.



  • The only way out is fire.  Oh, sweet, beautiful fire.... Never underestimate the cleansing power of fire.



  • @dhromed said:

    @Xyro said:

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it
    here.

    Cut off the  forehead with a machete.

    Just do it.


    And afterwards click one of the "Rotate by 90 degrees" options that surely exists in your PDF reader's toolbar/menu/context_menu/ass.



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    afterwards
     

    +1



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    And afterwards click one of the "Rotate by 90 degrees" options that surely exists in your PDF reader's toolbar/menu/context_menu/ass.
    Ctrl+Shift+Minus, thanks!@dhromed said:
    Cut off the  forehead with a machete.
    Hm?  My forehead?  Why would I want to do that?  Especially when the foreheads of those who sent this to me remain intact!



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    @dhromed said:

    @Xyro said:

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it
    here.

    Cut off the  forehead with a machete.

    Just do it.


    And afterwards click one of the "Rotate by 90 degrees" options that surely exists in your PDF reader's toolbar/menu/context_menu/ass.
     

    I tried that, but now it's completely upside-down.  Thanks a lot, asshole.



  • @bstorer said:

    I tried that, but now it's completely upside-down.  Thanks a lot, asshole.
     

    You should do it three more times.



  • @Smitty said:

    I feel your pain, truly I do.  It's SOP here at my job to make screen prints using Hardcopy, scan them in using the only printer/copier/scanner in the entire department (thus holding up anyone who legitimately needs to print something), then create a PDF from the scanned printouts to be routed through various departments.
     

    And you do this... why? Is someone standing over you every moment of the day making sure you print and scan the screenshots instead of just saving them directly as PDFs?



  • @dhromed said:

    @bstorer said:

    I tried that, but now it's completely upside-down.  Thanks a lot, asshole.
     

    You should do it three more times.

    Great.  Now it's back where it started.  Thanks, second asshole.  You're even uselesser than the first asshole.



  • @bstorer said:

    @dhromed said:
    @bstorer said:
    I tried that, but now it's completely upside-down.  Thanks a lot, asshole.
    You should do it three more times.
    Great.  Now it's back where it started.  Thanks, second asshole.  You're even uselesser than the first asshole.
    Sir, I understand your frustration, sir. Shut down your computer, unplug the modem and wait 30 seconds after eating, then turn your computer back on.  After you bring up the webpagescreenshotprintoutscanpdfattachment, try dhromed's instructions once more.



  • @bstorer said:

    @bannedfromcoding said:

    @dhromed said:

    @Xyro said:

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it here.

    Cut off the  forehead with a machete.

    Just do it.

    And afterwards click one of the "Rotate by 90 degrees" options that surely exists in your PDF reader's toolbar/menu/context_menu/ass.
     

    I tried that, but now it's completely upside-down.  Thanks a lot, asshole.

    Perfect!  All you need to do now is turn your monitor upside down and everything will be fine 🙂



  • @Xyro said:

    @bstorer said:
    @dhromed said:
    @bstorer said:
    I tried that, but now it's completely upside-down.  Thanks a lot, asshole.
    You should do it three more times.
    Great.  Now it's back where it started.  Thanks, second asshole.  You're even uselesser than the first asshole.
    Sir, I understand your frustration, sir. Shut down your computer, unplug the modem and wait 30 seconds after eating, then turn your computer back on.  After you bring up the webpagescreenshotprintoutscanpdfattachment, try dhromed's instructions once more.

    No, I've had it with you.  I turned my printer on its side to print this thing, but it toppled over onto my dog.  I want to speak with your manager.  You owe me a new printer and a new dog.



  • @Zylon said:

    And you do this... why? Is someone standing over you every moment of the day making sure you print and scan the screenshots instead of just saving them directly as PDFs?
     

    I should have been more clear, sorry about that.  I personally don't participate in the aforementioned fuckery, nor does any dev on my team.  It's the rest of IT (mainframers and business analysts) and most other departments that keep this travesty alive.  We periodically receive complaints from other departments because "I asked for a screen print and all I got was a picture".  It seems that anything less than a grainy printed/scanned/emailed screenshot is unacceptable.



  • @Smitty said:

    We periodically receive complaints from other departments because "I asked for a screen print and all I got was a picture".  It seems that anything less than a grainy printed/scanned/emailed screenshot is unacceptable.
    Tell me, does that make you righteously furious or morbidly depressed?



  •  I've swung through both emotions in this job more times than I can count.  My latest strategy is to laugh bitterly at the sheer magnitude of the incompetent fuckery I run into.  It seems to be helping me maintain sanity.  Or I've already lost it completely.  One or the other. 😃



  • @DOA said:

    You know my first impulse was to suggest you return the favor somehow, but then I realised it'd be pointless; they'd never get the message. If you throw feces back at a chimpanzee it wont make it smarter, it'll just make it throw more feces at you.

    Besides that, it gets you kicked out of the zoo and you'll have to wear a disguise to get back in.

     



  • @Smitty said:

     I've swung through both emotions in this job more times than I can count.  My latest strategy is to laugh bitterly at the sheer magnitude of the incompetent fuckery I run into.  It seems to be helping me maintain sanity.  Or I've already lost it completely.  One or the other. 😃

    You could try seppuku.



  • @Xyro said:

    Tell me, does that make you righteously furry or morbidly furry?
    FTFY



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @Xyro said:

    Tell me, does that make you righteously furry or morbiusly furry?
    FTFY

    FTFTFYFY.



  • @Smitty said:

    We periodically receive complaints from other departments because "I asked for a screen print and all I got was a picture".  It seems that anything less than a grainy printed/scanned/emailed screenshot is unacceptable.

    It seems they are taking the "print screen" a little too literally. It seems the PDF is the printed page in a document, and the only way they know how to make a PDF is using the scanner that emails the PDF.



  •  @Smitty said:

    We periodically receive complaints from other departments because "I asked for a screen print and all I got was a picture".  It seems that anything less than a grainy printed/scanned/emailed screenshot is unacceptable.

    You should write a little script that takes a screenshot, sticks it in photoshop, runs a few filters on it (enlarge, 'screen' filter, 'copier' filter), composites it onto a crappy, slightly-rotated blank page background, and emails it. Problem solved.



  • @Xyro said:

    Instead, I was emailed a PDF of a scan of a printout of a screenshot of a webpage.

    It's not even a good scan.  It's black and white and super grainy.  And the PDF is in portrait mode, of course, so I have to twist my head to read the webpagescreenshotprintoutscan.

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it here.
    Please send help.

    Delete without reading and send a message back to the perpetrator that the quality of presentation was substandard. Why should your health suffer because of someone else's complete shitheaded incompetence? Don't bother to explain what he (/she?) needs to do to make it better quality, they don't deserve that sort of respect.



  • @Matt Westwood said:

    Why should your health suffer because of someone else's complete shitheaded incompetence? Don't bother to explain what he (/she?) needs to do to make it better quality, they don't deserve that sort of respect.
     

     Well played, sir.



  • @PeriSoft said:

     @Smitty said:

    We periodically receive complaints from other departments because "I asked for a screen print and all I got was a picture".  It seems that anything less than a grainy printed/scanned/emailed screenshot is unacceptable.

    You should write a little script that takes a screenshot, sticks it in photoshop, runs a few filters on it (enlarge, 'screen' filter, 'copier' filter), composites it onto a crappy, slightly-rotated [b]wooden table[/b] background, and emails it. Problem solved.

     FTFY



  • @Matt Westwood said:

    @Xyro said:

    Instead, I was emailed a PDF of a scan of a printout of a screenshot of a webpage.

    It's not even a good scan.  It's black and white and super grainy.  And the PDF is in portrait mode, of course, so I have to twist my head to read the webpagescreenshotprintoutscan.

    I don't know how to cope, so I'm posting about it here.
    Please send help.

    Delete without reading and send a message back to the perpetrator that the quality of presentation was substandard. Why should your health suffer because of someone else's complete shitheaded incompetence? Don't bother to explain what he (/she?) needs to do to make it better quality, they don't deserve that sort of respect.

    Oh believe me, if priority-1 tickets had a "Return to Sender" button, I would have used it already. A long, long time ago.


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