Clearly the Welsh government have nothing better to do.



  • Ladies and gentlemen - I present, for your amusement, the latest piece of cockwaffle legislation from Wales:



    The Food (Jelly Mini-Cups) (Emergency Control) (Wales) (Amendment) Regulations 2010



    In its entirety (absent heading and footers/footnotes):

    <centre>Made 28 April 2010

    Laid before the National Assembly for Wales 30 April 2010

    Coming into force 21 May 2010
    </centre>
    The Welsh Ministers make the following Regulations in exercise of the powers conferred on them by section 2(2) of the European Communities Act 1972(1).

    The Welsh Ministers have been designated for the purposes of section 2(2) of the European Communities Act 1972 in relation to measures relating to food (including drink)(2).

    As required by Article 9 of Regulation (EC) No.178/2002 of the European Parliament and of the Council laying down the general principles and requirements of food law, establishing the European Food Safety Authority and laying down procedures in matters of food safety(3), there has been open and transparent public consultation during the preparation and evaluation of the following Regulations.

    Title, commencement and application

    1.—(1) These Regulations are called the Food (Jelly Mini-Cups) (Emergency Control) (Wales) (Amendment) Regulations 2010 and come into force on 21 May 2010.

    (2) These Regulations apply in relation to Wales.
    Amendments to the Food (Jelly Mini-Cups) (Emergency Control) (Wales) Regulations 2009

    2.—(1) The Food (Jelly Mini-Cups) (Emergency Control) (Wales) Regulations 2009(4) are amended as follows.

    (2) In the title and regulation 1 (title, commencement and application) in the Welsh text for “(Jeli Cwpan Fach)” substitute “(Jeli Cwpanau Bach)”.

    (3) In regulation 2 (interpretation) in the English text—

    (a) at the end of paragraph (3)(a) insert “or”;

    (b) in paragraph (3)(b) delete “; or” and substitute “,”; and

    (c) in paragraph (3) delete subparagraph (c).

    (4) In regulation 2 (interpretation) in the Welsh text—

    (a) at the end of paragraph 3(a) insert “neu”;

    (b) in paragraph (3)(b) delete “; neu” and substitute “,”; and

    (c) in paragraph (3) delete subparagraph (c).

    (5) In paragraph (5) of regulation 3 (prohibitions) in the Welsh text after the word “gyfnod” insert the word “nad”.


    This is not a joke. (At least not that sort of joke. This is a legitimate article by the UK government.)


  • Mae'n ddarn o
    sothach, nid ydynt yn eich barn chi?
    yr hyn y mae'r
    fuck.



  • At least it's fairly short, and thus possible they didn't spend a lot of time on it.

    I think most legislatures waste a lot more time arguing for things they know will never pass.  Worse still is the amount of time they spend sneaking in legislation they know will harm their country (or appropriate body jurisdiction) for the benefit of either their own subregion, a particular interest in their own subregion, or their own personal benefit1.

    Of course, for all I know from the above, the 'The Food (Jelly Mini-Cups) (Emergency Control) (Wales) Regulations 2009(4)' could be some innocuous regulation that becomes somehow draconian or otherwise malevolent after applying those changes.  (Unlikely, given the name and the changes - but that's sometimes exactly how they sneak stuff in.)

    1 Of course, they all amount to the legislator's personal benefit, because they help the legislator get re-elected and/or collect bribes.



  • @dhromed said:

    Mae'n ddarn o
    sothach, nid ydynt yn eich barn chi?
    yr hyn y mae'r
    fuck.

    Well quite.



  • @tgape said:

    At least it's fairly short
    That's because it's an amendment. To this piece of legislation which isn't quite so short.



  • Is "cockwaffle" a Welsh word?



  • @Someone You Know said:

    Is "cockwaffle" a Welsh word?
    No. There's 3 vowels too many in it for it to be Welsh.



  • @PJH said:

    @Someone You Know said:
    Is "cockwaffle" a Welsh word?
    No. There's 3 vowels too many in it for it to be Welsh.
     

    It might be cykwyffle.



  • @tgape said:

    Worse still is the amount of time they spend sneaking in legislation they know will harm their country (or appropriate body jurisdiction) for the benefit of either their own subregion, a particular interest in their own subregion, or their own personal benefit1.

    Of course, for all I know from the above, the 'The Food (Jelly Mini-Cups) (Emergency Control) (Wales) Regulations 2009(4)' could be some innocuous regulation that becomes somehow draconian or otherwise malevolent after applying those changes.  (Unlikely, given the name and the changes - but that's sometimes exactly how they sneak stuff in.)

    1 Of course, they all amount to the legislator's personal benefit, because they help the legislator get re-elected and/or collect bribes.

    I'm pretty sure it's illegal in the UK to pack multiple bits of unrelated legislation together for approval, which makes it very hard to sneak laws in.



  • @PJH said:

    @tgape said:
    At least it's fairly short
    That's because it's an amendment. To this piece of legislation which isn't quite so short.

    I've seen amendments which weren't anything resembling short.  Including one which was to a particularly short piece of legislation, but since it was written in more or less the same form as the bill above, and it almost entirely re-wrote the thing, the amendment was quite long.

    (Yes, it re-wrote it to be something that the people "represented" would have protested vigorously if they didn't hide it like that.  It was bad enough that the bums even got thrown out over it.)



  • @dhromed said:

    @PJH said:

    @Someone You Know said:
    Is "cockwaffle" a Welsh word?
    No. There's 3 vowels too many in it for it to be Welsh.
     

    It might be cykwyffle.

    Hmm. Try 'cykwyffll'.



  • That, as far as my terribly superficial knowledge of Welsh tell me, would parse to cokw[o|i]ffth.



  • @PJH said:

    It might be cykwyffle.

    No "k" in Welsh. However, "cocwoffal" would be a legitimate spelling, and would sound the same as how you'd expect someone from South Wales to pronounce "cockwaffle". (Of course, your chances of hearing someone from South Wales speaking Welsh are pretty low in the first place, since they[/we] all speak English...)

    Oh yeah, and my taxes went to pay for that cockwaffle, as well as the £multimillion uglybuilding that it was written in.

    @dhromed said:
    cokw[o|i]ffth

    Cuck Oifɬ (yes, that's a ɬ - voiceless alveolar lateral fricative.)



  •  Okay, I think cockwaffle would remain exactly the same in Welsh.

    Wat dde fyck?



  • @TarquinWJ said:

    Ddis gôt is yn adfarc<input name="ctl00$ctl00$bcr$bcr$ctl00$PostList$ctl14$ctl23$ctl01" id="ctl00_ctl00_bcr_bcr_ctl00_PostList_ctl14_ctl23_ctl01_State" value="value:Filed%20under%3A%20%3Ca%20href%3D%22%2Ftags%2FDdis%2Bg_26002300_244_3B00_t%2Bis%2Byn%2Badfarc%2Fdefault.aspx%22%20rel%3D%22tag%22%3EDdis%20g%C3%B4t%20is%20yn%20adfarc%3C%2Fa%3E" type="hidden">
     

    I like your style.

    I should probably learn Ooylsh. It's fun to write gubberush.



  • @dhromed said:

    fyck
    That would sound like "fick". The letter "y" changes its sound depending on where it appears in a word (first letter or anything-except-last-syllable make it sound like "u", when combined as "wy" it can be "ooee" or "wi", the rest of the time it sounds like "i", and compound words must be considered separately - this rule is TRWTF). It's not possible to make a word that sounds like "fuck" in Welsh, though it is possible to make "fuckit".



  •  I still think Gwynedd Paltrow is a hot'n.



  • Actually, I would be quite happy to have my representatives doing this sort of work.

    The issue that these regulations tackles is a serious one that has claimed the lives of a significant number of children and old people. [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konjac#Fruit_jelly[/url]

    The reason that these sorts of amendments get made is often that someone has escaped conviction for doing something that the original law was intended to ban, because a lawyer pointed out that a comma in a certain place changed the interpretation just enough that the "banned" activity was not really banned in this case.



  • @TarquinWJ said:

    It's not possible to make a word that sounds like "fuck" in Welsh

    What about "ffwc"? Bit of a Northern accent on it admittedly...

    (Yep, my taxes paid for that legislation too.)



  • @homsar said:

    @TarquinWJ said:
    It's not possible to make a word that sounds like "fuck" in Welsh
    What about "ffwc"? Bit of a Northern accent on it admittedly...
    Yes, they occasionally use "w" in place of an English "u" when importing (or creating) words that have a "u" in that position, with the corresponding Northern English sound that results. "Cup" -> "cwpan" being one such example. "Ffwc itlad".

    Personally, I prefer legislation to be done in the most cost-effective manner; written in the majority language for that country, so that the majority of people will understand it by default. There should not be official translations, as that simply means that a bad translation (which is what spawned this thread) results in incorrect interpretations of the rules. In some countries (Poland?) they choose to take it a step further and write their laws in an unambiguous dead language to prevent ambiguities and changing meanings being used as loopholes; Latin. Yeah, Latin. That way everyone will get to read their laws via a potentially poor translation.



  • So, do they actually serve cockwaffle cykwyffll cockwaffle in Wales? It seems like it would be a rare delicacy, unlikely to remain fresh for long in a coal mine.



  • @Someone You Know said:

    a rare delicacy, unlikely to remain fresh for long
     

    Yea, morbius' wang totally went bad a long, long time ago.



  • @TarquinWJ said:

    In some countries (Poland?) they choose to take it a step further and write their laws in an unambiguous dead language to prevent ambiguities and changing meanings being used as loopholes; Latin.

    Not here... our politicians AND lawyers are way too dumb to know Latin...



  •  Is Jeli Cwpanau Bach a little-known relative of J. S. Bach (similar to P.D.Q. Bach)?

     



  • @Someone You Know said:

    Is "cockwaffle" a Welsh word?
    Only if the Welsh are going in for soul food:

     Chicken & Waffles

    ED: Added a quote so we could know what the hell you were talking about.  sigh -btk



  • If that's an emergency, what isn't??



  • @TarquinWJ said:

    There should not be official translations, as that simply means that a bad translation (which is what spawned this thread) results in incorrect interpretations of the rules.

    It's not just a question of bad translation. This amendment also carries out the important task of ensuring that, if a metropolitan county is ever created in Wales (or the definition of Wales is expanded to include some of the existing ones), and it acquires a health authority, that authority's staff will not have the power to seize any suspicious looking jelly mini-cups. Important stuff for anyone with a lorry load of jelly mini-cups and a vivid imagination.



  • @Thief^ said:

     

    I'm pretty sure it's illegal in the UK to pack multiple bits of unrelated legislation together for approval

     

     

    Amateurs.



  • @SQLDave said:

    @Thief^ said:
    I'm pretty sure it's illegal in the UK to pack multiple bits of unrelated legislation together for approval
    Amateurs.
    The previous shower of incompetents didn't feel the need to do it anyway; they managed to shove asinine legislation through regardless. Hence the perceived need for the 'great repeal bill' from the current lot ('voted' in a couple of weeks ago.)



  • @dhromed said:

    Mae'n ddarn o
    sothach, nid ydynt yn eich barn chi?
    yr hyn y mae'r
    fuck.

     

    Do you have something in your throat??



  • @ObiWayneKenobi said:

    Do you have something in your throat??
     

    A large yam, I think.



  • @dhromed said:

    @ObiWayneKenobi said:

    Do you have something in your throat??
     

    A large yam, I think.

    A cockwaffle!?!?!



  •  yam it!!



  • Is there any TDWTF thread which doesn't devolve into a discussion of Morbuiswilters' penis?



  • @PeriSoft said:

    Is there any TDWTF thread which doesn't devolve into a discussion of Morbuiswilters' penis?
    I suppose we could start a thread specifically about his penis and see whether a thread about morb's penis still gets derailed.



  • @PeriSoft said:

    Is there any TDWTF thread which doesn't devolve into a discussion of Morbuiswilters' penis?
     

    Whut? I hadn't associated these last 6 posts with Morbs' dick until you brought it up, and it's still a stretch. So essentially, you just devolved this thread into a discussion of Morbs' penis.



  • @dhromed said:

    @PeriSoft said:

    Is there any TDWTF thread which doesn't devolve into a discussion of Morbuiswilters' penis?
     

    Whut? I hadn't associated these last 6 posts with Morbs' dick until you brought it up, and it's still a stretch.

    Nothing to do with morb's penis can be regarded as a stretch.

    @dhromed said:

    So essentially, you just devolved this thread into a discussion of Morbs' penis.
    And thus the prophecy is fulfilled.



  • Where is the guy, by the way?

    On holiday?



  • @bstorer said:

    And thus the prophecy is fulfilled.
     

    I hate when that happens.

    What is this; a movie?



  • @dhromed said:

    Where is the guy, by the way?

    On holiday?

    I'm afraid we must face facts: morbiuswilters is dead.  We must move immediately.  Engage protocol 2-Alpha.  From here on, I will take morb's place as strident hater of all things foreign.  dhromed will become the new bstorer, striving for as little content as possible per post (this position includes a monthly stipend of $8 dollars, which should go really far in your Communist Eurofag shithole, you freedom-hating subhuman).  Welbog will take over for dhromed as silly foreigner who likes dicks, btk will handle Welbog's math fetish and fear of bees, galgorah will handle btk's love of COBOL and hatred of pants (preferably at the same time).  This leaves galgorah's position open for a new hire.  It's not a paying postion, but it comes with a Russian love slave.  All interested parties are advised to leave a resume with reception.

    Thank you for your cooperation.  With a little hard work, we can all make it through this difficult time together.

    I only wish that, in what can only be completely unrelated and utterly
    coincedental, ShadowMod hadn't gone missing at the exact same time as
    morb.

    [I live on in the hearts of the valiant, in the smile of a baby, in the painful diarrhea of heroin withdrawal. -TheShadowMod]

    [HAHAHA, disregard that, I suck cocks - TheShadowMod]



  • @bstorer said:

    I only wish that, in what can only be completely unrelated and utterly
    coincedental, ShadowMod hadn't gone missing at the exact same time as
    morb.
     

    Wait...

    You don't think that...

    😮

     That must be it!

     

     

     

    Morbs killed ShadowMod and ran away to Tunis!

     

     

    I would like to submit PJH for replacement of Galgorah.



  • @bstorer said:

    [I live on in the hearts of the valiant, in the smile of a baby, in the painful diarrhea of heroin withdrawal. -TheShadowMod]

    Oh, hey, when did ShadowMod get back?



  • @dhromed said:

    I would like to submit PJH for replacement of Galgorah.
    ... which part of Galgorah am I supposed to replace? (Yes, I know where this question will end up... a gripe about C.S.)



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    [I live on in the hearts of the valiant, in the smile of a baby, in the painful diarrhea of heroin withdrawal. -TheShadowMod]

    Oh, hey, when did ShadowMod get back?

    No!  That's impossible!  Nobody could have survived that explosion!  I kil-- oh, uh... I mean, oh, good!  He's back!  This is extremely good news, and it's exactly what I had hoped for because I wish him no ill will.



  • @bstorer said:

    That's impossible!  Nobody could have survived that explosion!
     

    Guess there's some problems that even mini nukes can't solve.



  • @dhromed said:

    @bstorer said:

    That's impossible!  Nobody could have survived that explosion!
     

    Guess there's some problems that even mini nukes can't solve.

    No, clearly the problem here is the fact that ShadowMod IS a nobody.



  • @bannedfromcoding said:

    No, clearly the problem here is the fact that ShadowMod IS a nobody.
     

    Excellent starting point.

    Can a fictitious entity be killed?



  • @dhromed said:

    @bannedfromcoding said:

    No, clearly the problem here is the fact that ShadowMod IS a nobody.
     

    Excellent starting point.

    Can a fictitious entity be killed?

    Well, not directly.  You have to remove him from the hearts and minds of actual people.  That, however, can be resolved with killing -- lots of it, in fact.  This is a situation where regular nukes could be more useful than mininukes.



  • @bstorer said:

    This is a situation where regular nukes could be more useful than mininukes.
     

    Excellent starting point.



  • @bstorer said:

    @dhromed said:

    @bannedfromcoding said:

    No, clearly the problem here is the fact that ShadowMod IS a nobody.
     

    Excellent starting point.

    Can a fictitious entity be killed?

    Well, not directly.  You have to remove him from the hearts and minds of actual people.  That, however, can be resolved with killing -- lots of it, in fact.  This is a situation where regular nukes could be more useful than mininukes.

     

    Wouldn't that just require getting ahold of lots of peoples teeth?


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