Wow, thanks for the support calls



  • Anyone heard about the new McAfee updates yet? It turns out that McAfee issued a new set of SDATs this week (their virus definition files) that have had the unfortunate side effect of marking the svchost.exe process on SP3 XP machines as suspect. This means the app decides to quarantine the files.

    We all know what happens when you terminate all svchost processes...cue around two or three hundred support calls coming in this morning about users PCs shutting down as soon as they have booted! I'm glad I'm not on support!

    The worst thing is McAfee connects to an 'ePO' server (e-Policy Orchestrator) which determines what settings each machine on the network should use - yet there doesn't seem to be a way to 'kill-switch' the problem machines on the network, so manually walking around with a USB stick and booting into safe mode is the only solution. McAfee have yet to release any sort of statement as far as I know.

    Anyone else suffering from the problem? I'd love to hear your stories!



  • sigh... I knew I should have called out when I saw this on Slashdot. I just got an email from one of our clients on this.



  • Thank God I removed McAfee from all my computers years ago.  I have no need for such an invasive Virus Scan.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    Thank God I removed McAfee from all my computers years ago.  I have no need for such an invasive Virus Scan.

    I removed McAfee a few years ago. Everytime I was five minutes in a game it would decide that my harddrive needed a good scan.

    (shoot) (run) (shoot) McAfee starts scanning (lag) (lag) (you've been ass raped by Morbs) (game over)

    Fuck that



  • I look at this as just a really proactive form of antivirus: can't use the computer, can't get a virus.



  • My brand spanking new laptop arrived yesterday with McAfee installed. I'd seen this story somewhere a couple of hours beforehand at work, so new laptop setup process involved disabling the WLAN using the hardware switch whilst running the "You've unpackaged your new laptop!" wizard, and removing McAfee before it had a chance to update.

    Basically, normal procedure, with the additional step of disabling wireless then......



  • @bstorer said:

    I look at this as just a really proactive form of antivirus: can't use the computer, can't get a virus.

    That's like castrating yourself to prevent AIDS.



  • @toth said:

    @bstorer said:
    I look at this as just a really proactive form of antivirus: can't use the computer, can't get a virus.

    That's like castrating yourself to prevent AIDS.

    Are you kidding me?  You can still totally get AIDS if castrated.  Better to replace your blood with bleach and be 100% safe.



  • So much fun! Only a few dozen machines where affected at my location. Because as soon as the problems started we figured it was a faulty update and disabled Mcafee or unplugged our network.



    But for 3 other sites:

    Site 1: 80% of the machines have problems.

    Site 2: 95% of the machines have problems.

    Site 3: 400 machines affected.



    IT will have so much fun today!



  • @bstorer said:

    I look at this as just a really proactive form of antivirus: can't use the computer, can't get a virus.

    That's consistent with your policy on sex.



  • @bstorer said:

    @toth said:

    @bstorer said:
    I look at this as just a really proactive form of antivirus: can't use the computer, can't get a virus.

    That's like castrating yourself to prevent AIDS.

    Are you kidding me?  You can still totally get AIDS if castrated.  Better to replace your blood with bleach and be 100% safe.

    Goddammit.  That'll teach me to reply without reading all the posts...



  • <meta http-equiv="CONTENT-TYPE" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><title></title><meta name="GENERATOR" content="OpenOffice.org 3.0 (Win32)"><style type="text/css">
    <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } -->
    </style>

    One client I communicated with this morning canceled our weekly status meeting because of this. They have numerous locations besides their main facility including some overseas sites. No idea how many systems were affected, but I suspect it's its several hundred. I sincerely feel bad for them; they are a good client and don't deserve this headache.

    Thankfully, we got rid of McAfee from all our internal systems a couple of years ago and switched to a less intrusive anti-virus system.



  • @DeepThought said:

     

    Thankfully, we got rid of McAfee from all our internal systems a couple of years ago and switched to a less intrusive anti-virus system.

    You mean like simply launching the hard drives into the sun?


  •  Why the fuck you anyone use McAfee ever?

    Can't we launch that company into the sun?

    Or do you think that would just slow down its ouput of light as it ran a scan after every protuberance?



  • @dhromed said:

     Why the fuck you anyone use McAfee ever?

    Can't we launch that company into the sun?

    Or do you think that would just slow down its ouput of light as it ran a scan after every protuberance?

    Would that be any worse than when we launched Symantec into the sun and all the light kept being blocked out by popup reminders that our subscription would expire in 15 months?



  •  I kind of like sunlight...



  • @dhromed said:

    I kind of like sunlight...

    STFU, hippie.  You'll get all the sunlight you can stand in Hippie Jail!  Get 'em, boys!



  • I'm strongly considering McAfee (the man, not the firm) having set this failure on purpose. He was too pissed of and mad at people for having lost 96% of his personal wealth during the 2009 crisis. He must belong to the Secret Bureau of Jewish Capitalist Free-masons Plots with his great villain allies George Bush, Satan, Sarkozy, and Poutine. I'm so upset.

    Btw, of course I don't use his shitty virus-like anti-virus on any workstation myself neither. Just bitching for the pleasure of it.

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @dhromed said:
    I kind of like sunlight...
    STFU, hippie.  You'll get all the sunlight you can stand in Hippie
    Jail!  Get 'em, boys!
    I knew McCarthy never existed. It was YOU all the time, morbs, now I know it. Vampires never die from old age nor even seem to age...



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @dhromed said:

    I kind of like sunlight...

    STFU, hippie.  You'll get all the sunlight you can stand in Hippie Jail!  Get 'em, boys!

    We put Hippie Jail underground.  No Sun.  Plenty of glow in the dark flesh eating fungus though.



  • @Medezark said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @dhromed said:

    I kind of like sunlight...

    STFU, hippie.  You'll get all the sunlight you can stand in Hippie Jail!  Get 'em, boys!

    We put Hippie Jail underground.  No Sun.  Plenty of glow in the dark flesh eating fungus though.

    Hippie Jail?  I thought we had gotten rid of that long ago and adopted a green recycling program of executing them and turning them into tofu to feed the next generation of hippies.


  • @bstorer said:

    @Medezark said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @dhromed said:

    I kind of like sunlight...

    STFU, hippie.  You'll get all the sunlight you can stand in Hippie Jail!  Get 'em, boys!

    We put Hippie Jail underground.  No Sun.  Plenty of glow in the dark flesh eating fungus though.

    Hippie Jail?  I thought we had gotten rid of that long ago and adopted a green recycling program of executing them and turning them into tofu to feed the next generation of hippies.

    Hence the flesh eating fungus.

     Step 1. Feed Hippies to the Fungus

    Step 2. Turn the fungus in to ersatz tofu.

    Step 3. ??

    Step 4. Profit!!!



  • Charleh's Automated WTFStats v1.3.0 rev 38


    Thread status: Derailed Total

    Posts before derailment: 18

    Derailing posts: 3

    Error: Fatal exception in procedure ParsePostInformation on line 38 in PostProcessing.cpp

    Program terminating



  • @Charleh said:

    Charleh's Automated FISTingStats v1.3.0 rev 38


    Throbbing status: Railed till NearDeath

    Inserted fists before railment: 18

    Derailing lube : 3

    Error: Fatal exception in procedure PastWristWatch on line 38 in PostBleeding.cpp

    Program terminating

     

     

    FTFY



  • @toshir0 said:

    Poutine
    You're blaming this on Canadian "food?"



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @toshir0 said:

    Poutine
    You're blaming this on Canadian "food?"

    Why not?  Is there anything you can't plame on Poutine?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @belgariontheking said:

    @toshir0 said:

    Poutine
    You're blaming this on Canadian "food?"

    Never heard of it before now. From wonkypedia it looks like a posh name for cheesy chips with gravy. What's not to like?



  • @PJH said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    @toshir0 said:

    Poutine
    You're blaming this on Canadian "food?"

    Never heard of it before now. From wonkypedia it looks like a posh name for cheesy chips with gravy. What's not to like?
    Canada.



  • @bstorer said:

    @PJH said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    @toshir0 said:

    Poutine
    You're blaming this on Canadian "food?"

    Never heard of it before now. From wonkypedia it looks like a posh name for cheesy chips with gravy. What's not to like?
    Canada.

    You are forgetting that PJH is a limey.  A Canadian is what you get when you strip the thin veneer of class and sophistication from a Briton, leaving him exposed for the weak, inbred, gravy-loving degenerate that is he is.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    @PJH said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    @toshir0 said:

    Poutine
    You're blaming this on Canadian "food?"

    Never heard of it before now. From wonkypedia it looks like a posh name for cheesy chips with gravy. What's not to like?
    Canada.

    You are forgetting that PJH is a limey.  A Canadian is what you get when you strip the thin veneer of class and sophistication from a Briton, leaving him exposed for the weak, inbred, gravy-loving degenerate that is he is.

    Yeah, but poutine is French-Canadian, which all of Her Majesty's other subjects look down upon, even those fags in Belize.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Why not?  Is there anything you can't plame on Poutine?
     

    Me, I blame God on Poutine.

    Yeah.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

     A Canadian is what you get when you strip the thin veneer of class and sophistication from a Briton, leaving him exposed for the weak, inbred, gravy-loving degenerate that is he is.

     

    Spectateswamp takes baths in gravy. That's why he smells like rancid beef and BO.


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