UFL Math



  • Currently live at http://www.ufl-football.com/

    Winning all your games is not enough to have a 1.000 win percentage.  You must win all your games and mock their genitalia in front of their grandmothers.  I mean, it is the UFL. 



  • First of all -- although not unique to the UFL by any stretch -- those numbers are clearly not percentages.   I really hate it when they do that.

    Anyway, I figured out where the screwed up "percentages" come from.  The .857 is 6/7, and .714 is 5/7.  Apparently they had a one-game championship which Florida lost to Las Vegas.  Thus, their final records were 6-1 and 5-2, respectively.



  • @bstorer said:

    Anyway, I figured out where the screwed up "percentages" come from.  The .857 is 6/7, and .714 is 5/7.  Apparently they had a one-game championship which Florida lost to Las Vegas.  Thus, their final records were 6-1 and 5-2, respectively.

    Oh boy, a sports thread!

     

    This is much gayer than dhromed derailing a thread talking about Fallout3 or fruity dicks.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    This is much gayer than dhromed derailing a thread talking about Fallout3 or fruity dicks.
    Did he ever get his GPU fan?  seems like he's been complaining about it for a while.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    Did he ever get his GPU fan?
    Well, I like GPUs a lot...



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    Anyway, I figured out where the screwed up "percentages" come from.  The .857 is 6/7, and .714 is 5/7.  Apparently they had a one-game championship which Florida lost to Las Vegas.  Thus, their final records were 6-1 and 5-2, respectively.

    Oh boy, a sports thread!

     

    This is much gayer than dhromed derailing a thread talking about Fallout3 or fruity dicks.

     

    Well what do you expect when you have a sport where 22 guys are obssesed with balls and like swapping their sweat stained shirts before hitting the showers together. For some reason being a homo is also tabboo in that sport, go figure.



  • @stratos said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    Anyway, I figured out where the screwed up "percentages" come from.  The .857 is 6/7, and .714 is 5/7.  Apparently they had a one-game championship which Florida lost to Las Vegas.  Thus, their final records were 6-1 and 5-2, respectively.

    Oh boy, a sports thread!

     

    This is much gayer than dhromed derailing a thread talking about Fallout3 or fruity dicks.

     

    Well what do you expect when you have a sport where 22 guys are obssesed with balls and like swapping their sweat stained shirts before hitting the showers together. For some reason being a homo is also tabboo in that sport, go figure.

    It's simple: if they let openly-gay men in, then everybody would realize how gay groping another man's ass after he makes a good play really is.  So, instead you get a powerful denial and repudiation of all things homosexual.  That way, nobody catches on.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    Did he ever get his GPU fan?
     

    Totally.

    It's cool.

    @morbiuswilters said:

    This is much gayer than dhromed derailing a
    thread talking about Fallout3 or fruity dicks.

    There still time. We can still turn this around.

     

    I don't like sports.

    I do like to be all hangovery on Sunday and watch the cyclists doing their Tour de Landscape, but not passionately.

    Except him.

    Last time he was all, fu, i'm outta here.



  • @stratos said:

    Well what do you expect when you have a sport where 22 guys are obssesed with balls and like swapping their sweat stained shirts before hitting the showers together.
    You fag, football players don't swap jerseys.  How do you not know that, fag?  Are you a fag?  Quit being a fag, fag.



  • I heard you guys talking about fags so I needed to show up to tell you all how much of a fag BTK is.



  •  @Welbog said:

    I heard you guys talking about fags so I needed to show up to tell you all how much of a fag BTK is.

     

    This is a major breakthrough. Usually it will take years of therapy before a person will admit that they forgot to lock their window, but here you've all but admitted your having been violated and even advertise it proudly.

     



  • @bstorer said:

    @stratos said:

    Well what do you expect when you have a sport where 22 guys are obssesed with balls and like swapping their sweat stained shirts before hitting the showers together.
    You fag, football players don't swap jerseys.  How do you not know that, fag?  Are you a fag?  Quit being a fag, fag.

     http://www.fifa.com/worldfootball/news/newsid=1008476.html



  • @stratos said:

    @bstorer said:

    @stratos said:

    Well what do you expect when you have a sport where 22 guys are obssesed with balls and like swapping their sweat stained shirts before hitting the showers together.
    You fag, football players don't swap jerseys.  How do you not know that, fag?  Are you a fag?  Quit being a fag, fag.

     http://www.fifa.com/worldfootball/news/newsid=1008476.html

    That's soccer, fag.  Real Football is the equivalent of your sport "croquet".



  • @stratos said:

    @bstorer said:

    @stratos said:

    Well what do you expect when you have a sport where 22 guys are obssesed with balls and like swapping their sweat stained shirts before hitting the showers together.
    You fag, football players don't swap jerseys.  How do you not know that, fag?  Are you a fag?  Quit being a fag, fag.

     http://www.fifa.com/worldfootball/news/newsid=1008476.html
    God, you're just compounding your faggery.  It's like you want to be a fag, fag.



  • @bstorer said:

    It's like you want to be a fag, fag.

    Whoa, whoa, whoa!  I can't let hate speech like this stand.

     

    It's not a choice, man.  It's caused by genetics or something.  I can't believe you would perpetuate stereotypes like this.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @stratos said:
    http://www.fifa.com/worldfootball/news/newsid=1008476.html

    That's soccer, fag.  Real Football is the equivalent of your sport "croquet".



  • Great name, great explanation, even Americans will get it this way.

     Hrm, so the NFL should change its name to NHL. Which is ok, because what they call hockey, is of course in fact only Icehockey, not proper hockey, so that should be NIL.



  • @PJH said:

    Handegg
    Ballmouth.  I think we've found a name for you!  

    (Imagine I've posted a picture of my balls in your mouth).



  • @belgariontheking said:

    (Imagine I've posted a picture of my balls in your mouth).

    Already was...   ;-D



  • @PJH said:

      See?  This is what happens when retards have access to image manipulation software.  First of all, that's not a foot, it's an ankle.  Secondly, that's not a hand, it's an arm.  Third, the more accurate name for the game on the left is clearly fagball.



  • @stratos said:

    Filed
    under: how to change a sports thread into a USA vs europe thread
    with one post.
    @morbiuswilters said:
    That's soccer, fag.  Real Football is the equivalent of your sport
    "croquet".

    Took much longer than I'd have expected...

     

    @morbiuswilters said:

    It's simple: if they let openly-gay men in, then everybody would realize
    how gay groping another man's ass after he makes a good play really
    is.  So, instead you get a powerful denial and repudiation of all things
    homosexual.  That way, nobody catches on.

    Surprisingly insightful statement from morb - where's the catch?




  • @bstorer said:

    Filed under: Only fags think Beckham is not a fag.

    So, what does Beckham think?



  • @derula said:

    @bstorer said:
    Filed under: Only fags think Beckham is not a fag.

    So, what does Beckham think?

    Who cares what a fag thinks?



  • @bstorer said:

    @derula said:

    @bstorer said:
    Filed under: Only fags think Beckham is not a fag.

    So, what does Beckham think?

    Who cares what a fag thinks?

    Dunno.



  • @derula said:

    @bstorer said:
    Filed under: Only fags think Beckham is not a fag.

    So, what does Beckham think?

    1) He is not a fag, but he thinks he is.

    or

    2) He is a fag who doesn't think he is a fag.

          2.1) In particular, he is unable to think.
    or

    3) He is one of the fags that think he is not a fag.



  • @topspin said:

    @stratos said:

    Filed
    under: how to change a sports thread into a USA vs europe thread
    with one post.
    @morbiuswilters said:
    That's soccer, fag.  Real Football is the equivalent of your sport
    "croquet".

    Took much longer than I'd have expected...

     

    Yes, it seems what i wrote in that comment could also be applied to handegg.  Caused a bit of a delay i guess.



  • @Zecc said:

    @derula said:

    @bstorer said:
    Filed under: Only fags think Beckham is not a fag.

    So, what does Beckham think?

    1) fag is not a fag, but fag fags fag is.

    or

    2) fag is a fag who doesn't fag fag is a fag.

          2.1) In particular, fag is unable to fag.
    or

    3) fag is one of the fags that fag fag is not a fag.

    If mixed fags were illegal, I'd be having a fag.
    typeof
    FaG == 'fag'

     FTFY.




  • @stratos said:

    @topspin said:

    @stratos said:

    Filed
    under: how to change a sports thread into a USA vs europe thread
    with one post.
    @morbiuswilters said:
    That's soccer, fag.  Real Football is the equivalent of your sport
    "croquet".

    Took much longer than I'd have expected...

     

    Yes, it seems what i wrote in that comment could also be applied to handegg.  Caused a bit of a delay i guess.

    I was the very next post after yours and I dutifully started the USA vs. The Rest of You Idiots flamewar.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    I dutifully started the USA vs. The Rest of You Idiots flamewar.
    And for this, I salute you.  



  • I'd be more than happy to blame you for anything, but technically, the moron who thought that "Football" would still be a great name for Handegg, or in fact "Touchdown" for "hold ball in your arms in the endzone but preferably not actually DOWN on the ground" or "Running Back" for someone whose task it is to run FORWARD, started this.

    What is interesting is how people took a perfectly good game, added new rules, shoulderpadding and cheerleaders to make it a new game, then decided not only to steal the old name but subsequently deny that any other game with that same name could possibly exist. Or if it existed, that it would need a different name.

    I'm not saying this is typical of the US and its attitude towards intellectual property, but it's an interesting phenomenon.



  • @b_redeker said:

    What is interesting is how people took a perfectly good game, added new rules, shoulderpadding and cheerleaders to make it a new game, then decided not only to steal the old name
    The game you're thinking of that has had those things added to it is rugby, not football.



    American football: rugby for people whose mum's didn't want them to get hurt.

    or

    American football: rugby after a visit from a Health and Safety inspector.



  • @PJH said:

    @b_redeker said:
    What is interesting is how people took a perfectly good game, added new rules, shoulderpadding and cheerleaders to make it a new game, then decided not only to steal the old name
    The game you're thinking of that has had those things added to it is rugby, not football.
    This is where all you old-worlders are stupid.  Rugby football is as old as association football, which is known in some circles as "soccer."  That you guys decided to stick one with the definitive monicker of "football" over the other is puzzling. 

    The first set of standardized rules that could be identified as American football were codifed roughly 30 years after those two (which is actually kind of surprising when you think about it) and we also made the decision to stick our game with the name "football."   I find our decision more defensible because neither of the other two types really flourished here (also, they're games for fags).



  •  soccer is just a slang term turned word for associated football. You can blame the british and just call it jalkapallo, which sounds much cooler anyway.



  • @bstorer said:

    neither of the other two types really flourished here
     

    Rugby, you're right. Soccer, not so much.

    http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache%3AhP3p1OuxTegJ%3Awww.avca.org%2Fincludes%2Fmedia%2Fdocs%2FSGMA-Release-on-Sports-Participation-7-30-09.pdf&pli=1

    Basketball 26 M participants

    Baseball 15 M

    Soccer 14 M

    Ct Volleyball 8 M

    Football 7,7 M

     

    Even if you count the 3.1 M cheerleaders (which probably have to be shared with the basketball players), I think we can safely say that from now on Soccer has first choice and will therefor be named Football from now on. Gridiron can opt for Handegg but will have to defer to Court volleyball. If they don't want the name either, you can keep Handegg.



  • @b_redeker said:

    @bstorer said:

    neither of the other two types really flourished here
     

    Rugby, you're right. Soccer, not so much.

    http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache%3AhP3p1OuxTegJ%3Awww.avca.org%2Fincludes%2Fmedia%2Fdocs%2FSGMA-Release-on-Sports-Participation-7-30-09.pdf&pli=1

    Basketball 26 M participants

    Baseball 15 M

    Soccer 14 M

    Ct Volleyball 8 M

    Football 7,7 M

     

    Even if you count the 3.1 M cheerleaders (which probably have to be shared with the basketball players), I think we can safely say that from now on Soccer has first choice and will therefor be named Football from now on. Gridiron can opt for Handegg but will have to defer to Court volleyball. If they don't want the name either, you can keep Handegg.

    This is participation.  Oddly, soccer is a very popular sport for overbearing, white, suburban mothers to force their latent homosexual sons into, even though nobody actually likes watching it.  Having a son who plays soccer is pretty much a tacit admission that you've failed as a parent and your kid is gay.  It's usually done as a compromise between what the father wants (a manly sport like Real Football that will straighten the little homo out) and what the kid wants (ballet).



  • @b_redeker said:

    I'm not saying this is typical of the US and its attitude towards intellectual property, but it's an interesting phenomenon.
    Technically, it's the opposite of interesting, because only you brits and euros think it's interesting.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    (a manly sport like Real Football that will straighten the little homo out)
    I love how above, you implied that Football was for fags and now you say that Football will save us from the fags.  

    Did you mean gay fags or motorcycle riding fags?



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @b_redeker said:

    I'm not saying this is typical of the US and its attitude towards intellectual property, but it's an interesting phenomenon.
    Technically, it's the opposite of interesting, because only you brits and euros think it's interesting.

     

    Technically, I'm neither.

    One of the advantages of where I live, is being able to see both Handegg and Football. Unless my kids are watching cartoons, of course.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    (a manly sport like Real Football that will straighten the little homo out)
    I love how above, you implied that Football was for fags and now you say that Football will save us from the fags.  

    Did you mean gay fags or motorcycle riding fags?

    Note that it wasn't my opinion that Real Football would straighten the kid out, but the opinion of the repressed, latent homosexual father.  After all, the kid had to inherit t3h gh3y from somewhere.



  • @b_redeker said:

    Rugby, you're right. Soccer, not so much.

    http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache%3AhP3p1OuxTegJ%3Awww.avca.org%2Fincludes%2Fmedia%2Fdocs%2FSGMA-Release-on-Sports-Participation-7-30-09.pdf&pli=1

    Basketball 26 M participants

    Baseball 15 M

    Soccer 14 M

    Ct Volleyball 8 M

    Football 7,7 M

    Fuck, I don't know who's dumber: you or the report.   On the one hand, we have the report which supposedly gives "Total Participants in Millions."   So almost 7.7 billion Americans participate in football?  God, what a piece of fail that thing is.

    On the other hand, who gives a shit about participation numbers?   Most kids play Marco Polo at some point, too, but it isn't remotely relevant, either.  More Americans watch an average NFL regular-season game than watched the final of the last World Cup.

    Ultimately, though, I have to give you credit for being dumber than the report, because you were the moron who gave me statistics for 2009 in response to a statement about the 1880s.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    My balls are still in your mouth<input name="ctl00$ctl00$bcr$bcr$ctl00$PostList$ctl30$ctl23$ctl01" id="ctl00_ctl00_bcr_bcr_ctl00_PostList_ctl30_ctl23_ctl01_State" value="value:Filed%20under%3A%20%3Ca%20href%3D%22%2Ftags%2FMy%2Bballs%2Bare%2Bstill%2Bin%2Byour%2Bmouth%2Fdefault.aspx%22%20rel%3D%22tag%22%3EMy%20balls%20are%20still%20in%20your%20mouth%3C%2Fa%3E" type="hidden">
     

    Say, does your wife know that you're a faggosexual gay?

     

    Or is "she" your "wife"?



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @b_redeker said:

    I'm not saying this is typical of the US and its attitude towards intellectual property, but it's an interesting phenomenon.
    Technically, it's the opposite of interesting, because only you brits and euros think it's interesting.

     

     

     

    Of the 45 national FIFA affiliates in which English is an official or primary language, 42 use football in their organizations official name (only Canada, Samoa and the United States use soccer). In 2005, Australia's association football governing body changed its name from soccer to football to align with the general international usage of the term.[52] In 2007, New Zealand followed suit citing "the international game is called football"

    Even the prison island guys got smart and started calling the right game football. 



  • @stratos said:

    Even the prison island guys got smart and started calling the right game football. 
    Wow, using the actions of those inbred, kangaroo-riding dingo fuckers as a point in your favor?  You fags really are desperate.



  • @bstorer said:

    Ultimately, though, I have to give you credit for being dumber than the report, because you were the moron who gave me statistics for 2009 in response to a statement about the 1880s.
     

     

    I think you would make a good manager: if you can't complain you need newer figures, just complain you need a 130 year old report. Well done.

    Also, Marco Polo obviously didn't have anything to do with either Handegg or Football, or it would have been called Polo. Try to keep up, please.



  • @b_redeker said:

    I think you would make a good manager: if you can't complain you need newer figures, just complain you need a 130 year old report. Well done.
    How silly of me.  Clearly those guys in 1880 should have taken into account the irrelevent findings of a questionable report 130 years in their future when naming their sport. 

    Now, I understand you can't stop being a fag.  As morb says, it's in your fag genes or some shit.  I'm a tolerant guy; I can understand that.  But would it kill you to pull that dick out of your fag ass for one minute and use your fag brain for something other than trying to remember the nearest men's room glory hole?  I guess this is the sort of spurious reasoning I should have expected from a fag, fag.



  • @dhromed said:

    Say, does your wife know that you're a faggosexual gay?
    She suspects nothing, and if we're careful, we can keep it that way.

    I mean ... There is nothing gay about putting your balls wherever they fit.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    There is nothing gay about putting your balls wherever they fit.

    As I recall, a similar piece of reasoning resulted in your dick stuck in a pencil sharpener.  Do you really want to risk another visit to the emergency room like that?



  • @bstorer said:

    As I recall, a similar piece of reasoning resulted in your dick stuck in a pencil sharpener.  Do you really want to risk another visit to the emergency room like that?
    I met my to-be wife in that emergency room, you insensitive clod!



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @bstorer said:

    As I recall, a similar piece of reasoning resulted in your dick stuck in a pencil sharpener.  Do you really want to risk another visit to the emergency room like that?
    I met my to-be wife in that emergency room, you insensitive clod!

    Exactly my point.  Why the hell would you want two wives?



  • @bstorer said:

    @belgariontheking said:
    @bstorer said:
    As I recall, a similar piece of reasoning resulted in your dick stuck in a pencil sharpener.  Do you really want to risk another visit to the emergency room like that?
    I met my to-be wife in that emergency room, you insensitive clod!
    Exactly my point.  Why the hell would you want two wives?
    Well,TBH I'm hoping to get a male nurse this time.......


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