Choose your own WTF



  • Imagine you're responsible for a 5 year old Access Database, running on a 8 year old Dell, using Win 2000.

    To tell your boss how much access sucks, turn to Ending 1. If you continue the job, read the next line.

     

    On restart, the system halts, noting "Back System Fan missing, press F1 to continue" As it loads, you see a file share, with all the company financials between excel and quickbooks.*

    If you move everything to a new 2003 server, you roll a critical failure, as the Access file is hard-coded to the share name, and more importantly booed off this site for not providing TRWTF.

     

    Suddenly there's a power outage, and a klaxxon alarm screetchs when the power is resumed. 1 Logical Drive Failed. Configuration manger tells you the entire disk, a RAID 0 array, is offline becuse ID1 failed. 

    If you ask why the entire company uses RAID 0 for financials and database shares, see Ending 1. If you weren't booed of this site, see Ending 2. If you were booed, see ending 3.

    ---

    ENDINGS

    Ending 1: You find out that the boss's son developed the database, and you're soon surrounded by your fellow patriotic Americans in the unemployment line. You complain vaguly about the outshoring taking your jobs and employers who fail to undertstand your leet mainframe skills whilst smelling of faint cabbage. (+5 Sanity, -10 Finance, +2 cabbage)

     

    Ending 2: Congratulations for being fired with cause, my friend. I bet you think the other person goes away when you play peek-a-boo, and you can't be blamed if you don't touch them. I hope you find work soon, so we can hear about your adventures in the next thread of "Choose your own WTF"

     

    Ending 3: Thank god, you migrated everyone to a SQL based CRM last
    year, you lucky bastard. Most of Access is used for referernce only,
    giving you a week to save your hide. You force the drive online, but Windows gives a page fault error. You use your leet Linux skills and mount the NTFS and USB drives, and copy what you can. You've wasted your chance of getting laid this weekend, but at least you'll have a paycheck. Because the budget doesn't include a replacement server, you rename the XP desktop after the server share, and soon fall to a heart attack. Your sucessor who's now sired many children thanks to your absence from parties sees your XP based "server" and posts your story to this site. Contratulations, for you are the TRWTF.



  •  @tompaine said:

    Because the budget doesn't include a replacement server, you rename the XP desktop after the server share, and soon fall to a heart attack

    Can't I install Linux on that desktop, running Samba?  That incurs no additional costs to the business, looks the same to everyone else on the network, and prevents the future-WTF-induced heart attack...



  •  I got ending 1, but I don't understand what Americans are doing in the unemployment line in a european country



  • @DOA said:

    I don't understand what Americans are doing in the unemployment line in a european country
     

    Fleeing.

     

    I quickly jump into my pipboy and take a stimpak.

    My heart attack is averted, I fix the server, and I go out to party the next weekend, where I meet the love of my life, making babies up the wazoo. I then go through Dupont Circle Station, to the Dry Sewers, kill a paltry Talon Company company with Abe's trusty gun (but not until they slay a Super Mutant for me), and make my way up into Our Lady Of Hope Hospital, where I kill two minigun-toting Super Mutants in VATS, using nothing but the half-fucked laser rifle I pried from the still warm fingers of a Talon company Merc earlier, because I'm just that badass. I am the Grim Reaper, and my stride is quick.



  • @tompaine said:

    On restart, the system halts, noting "Back System Fan missing, press F1 to continue" As it loads, you see a file share, with all the company financials between excel and quickbooks.*

     

    You appear to be missing a footnote. Might want to get that looked at.



  • Mod this +1 Interactive.

    More like this, please.



  • @Heron said:

    Can't I install Linux on that desktop,
    running Samba?  That incurs no additional costs to the business, looks
    the same to everyone else on the network, and prevents the
    future-WTF-induced heart attack...

     

    I'm sorry sir, but
    your online backup provider doesn't support linux. At least under XP,
    you'll have shadow copy service so you don't need to bounce the server
    every time you make a backup.

     @Someone You Know said:

    You appear to be missing a footnote. Might want to get that looked at.

    TRWTF: Thinking the reader could hold a variable in memory on a site such as this.

    @dhromed said:

    I quickly jump into my pipboy and take a stimpak.

    Good work, my son. I've been developing this water purification chip with all the blood you've spilled that will cure the world from WTFs. I need you to go to the water plant and save this world.



  • @tompaine said:

    Good work, my son. I've been developing this water purification chip with all the blood you've spilled that will cure the world from WTFs. I need you to go to the water plant and save this world.
     

    Unfortunately, all I get for my hard work is a disappointing slideshow and my own death, so fuck you dad, I'll be traipsin' round the countryside, collecting lootz and having fun. Don't wait up. Don't call me.



  • This is the best thing to come out of the Sidebar since.... uh... damn...

     

    Well, at least something good finally came out of the Sidebar.



  • @dhromed said:

    making babies up the wazoo
    I'm pretty sure that's not how it works...



  • @tompaine said:

    I'm sorry sir, but
    your online backup provider doesn't support linux. At least under XP,
    you'll have shadow copy service so you don't need to bounce the server
    every time you make a backup.
     

    You didn't say anything about backups in your first post :P  Are you saying they actually managed to set up regular backups of their Win2k-based nightmare?



  • @dhromed said:

    making babies up the wazoo

    You're doing it wrong.



  •  @morbiuswilters said:

    This is the best thing to come out of the Sidebar since.... uh... damn...

     

    Since The Automated Curse Generator.

    (Now, back to lurking.)



  • @Zippy said:

     @morbiuswilters said:

    This is the best thing to come out of the Sidebar since.... uh... damn...

     

    Since The Automated Curse Generator.

    (Now, back to lurking.)

    No, this is better.



  • @Heron said:

    You didn't say anything about backups in your first post :P  Are you saying they actually managed to set up regular backups of their Win2k-based nightmare?
     

    Well my predecessor bought these tapes and external hard drives and walked around when he felt like.....Ok, you win this point. I restarted the server every week or so, making sure I was onsite to press F1, thanks to the system fan, and I did everything possible to transition them to SQL server and a RAID 5, ASAP. Part of those reforms were an online backup service, so as DM I declare Samba isn't in your spell book.

     

    @dhromed said:

    Unfortunately, all I get for my hard work is a disappointing slideshow
    and my own death, so fuck you dad, I'll be traipsin' round the
    countryside, collecting lootz and having fun. Don't wait up. Don't call
    me.

    Son, don't you want to save the world like Jesus did? Like Jesus?!

    Have a few Rad-aways for your trip.They'll prolong your life a few minutes.

     



  • @dhromed said:

    @tompaine said:

    Good work, my son. I've been developing this water purification chip with all the blood you've spilled that will cure the world from WTFs. I need you to go to the water plant and save this world.
     

    Unfortunately, all I get for my hard work is a disappointing slideshow and, since I'm too cheap to buy Broken Steel, my own death, so fuck you dad, I'll be traipsin' round the countryside, collecting lootz and having fun. Don't wait up. Don't call me.

     

    FTFY.



  • @Someone You Know said:

    @dhromed said:

    @tompaine said:

    Good work, my son. I've been developing this water purification chip with all the blood you've spilled that will cure the world from WTFs. I need you to go to the water plant and save this world.
     

    Unfortunately, all I get for my hard work is a disappointing slideshow and, since I'm too cheap to buy Broken Steel, my own death, so fuck you dad, I'll be traipsin' round the countryside, collecting lootz and having fun. Don't wait up. Don't call me.

     

    FTFY.

    Broken Steel? Real men are up in the Mothership by now, blowing aliens' heads off Duke Nukem style



  • @DOA said:

    Broken Steel? Real men are up in the Mothership by now, blowing aliens' heads off Duke Nukem style
    Been there. Done that. Brought back 1200lbs of alien weapons.



  • @Lingerance said:

    Been there. Done that. Brought back 1200lbs of alien weapons.
     

    +1 hero

     



  • @Someone You Know said:

    since I'm too cheap to buy Broken Steel

    I guess that's true, but I'm not sure if I'll go get those when I'm done with vanilla. I already got mods to continue leveling + perks, so it'll be a while, and by then I'll have moved on to another game.

     

    PS.

    I DID IT AGAIN

    MUAHAHAHAHAHA

    (this is my grand accomplishment; my claim to immortality)



  • @dhromed said:

    @Someone You Know said:

    since I'm too cheap to buy Broken Steel

    I guess that's true, but I'm not sure if I'll go get those when I'm done with vanilla. I already got mods to continue leveling + perks, so it'll be a while, and by then I'll have moved on to another game.

    Broken Steel is meh.  The best addon -- by far -- is Point Lookout.  This is not even up for debate.@dhromed said:

     

    PS.

    I DID IT AGAIN

    MUAHAHAHAHAHA

    I see through your trickery, but yet I cannot resist every single time.


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