A great WTF job opportunity



  •  I  saw this in a list of job opportunities from a local recruiter:

    Opportunity #7: .NET Consultant – potential to go perm. Client is looking for
    someone to review all their code front to back, tell them what is wrong, and how
    to fix it. .NET 3.5 environment

    Sounds like a opportunity to get a lot of material to post to TDWTF.



  • Sounds easy.

    looks through the code  Hmm... well, sir, from what I can tell, it would appear that this code is written in .NET.  That seems to be the major source of your problems right there...



  •  I bet the nearest liquor store to that office does tremendous business from .NET consultants trying to drink away their pain.



  • Someone want to take the hit and go for it? We can always use more material, right?



  • @Mason Wheeler said:

    Sounds easy.

    looks through the code  Hmm... well, sir, from what I can tell, it would appear that this code is written in .NET.  That seems to be the major source of your problems right there...

     

    Agreed.  All code today should be written in either JavaScript, Whitespace or 8088 Assembler.



  • @Mason Wheeler said:

    looks through the code  Hmm... well, sir, from what I can tell, it would appear that this code is written in .NET.  That seems to be the major source of your problems right there...
     

    There's nothing wrong with the framework; as with all other languages and platforms it's the incompetent simian twats (who consider themselves rockstars) writing shitty code who are to blame.



  • @Aaron said:

    Agreed.  All code today should be written in either JavaScript, Whitespace or 8088 Assembler.

     

    8088?  You, sir, are woefully behind the times!  i386, minimum!  MMX and SSE are preferred.



  • @Mason Wheeler said:

    @Aaron said:

    Agreed.  All code today should be written in either JavaScript, Whitespace or 8088 Assembler.

     

    8088?  You, sir, are woefully behind the times!  i386, minimum!  MMX and SSE are preferred.

     

    You kids with your fancy "MMX" and "coprocessors."  When I was your age I had to whittle ones and zeros into a 76" wooden floppy disk, and I was happy to get a knife to do it with.



  • @Aaron said:

    When I was your age I had to whittle ones and zeros into a 76" wooden floppy disk, and I was happy to get a knife to do it with.
    A knife?!  You lazy amateur.  I used my tongue and a stubborn determination.



  •  The old joke

    Binary? Are you serious?  Why, I'm so old I remember that binary wasn't invented yet.  When I was learning to write code, all we had was 0's!



  • @dogbrags said:

     The old joke

    Binary? Are you serious?  Why, I'm so old I remember that binary wasn't invented yet.  When I was learning to write code, all we had was 0's!

    Bah, you and your fancy goddamn zeroes.  I remember when zero hadn't been invented yet and all we had to represent nothingness was a blank space.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Bah, you and your fancy goddamn zeroes.  I remember when zero hadn't been invented yet and all we had to represent nothingness was a blank space.
    Or a crude sketch of btk.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Bah, you and your fancy goddamn zeroes.  I remember when zero hadn't been invented yet and all we had to represent nothingness was

     

    FTFY



  • I love the "potential to go perm" part... it unintentionally implies that their code is so f'ed up it might require a fulltime salaried employee whose sole position is to fix what they broke. I'm visualizing a poor sap who's doing this until retirement.



  • @RHuckster said:

    I love the "potential to go perm" part... it unintentionally implies that their code is so f'ed up it might require a fulltime salaried employee whose sole position is to fix what they broke. I'm visualizing a poor sap who's doing this until retirement.

     

    It sounds to me like someone hired a "programmer" to write their app; the developer either delivered it broken or didn't quite finish it, then left the scene.  I'm guessing this is a company without a IT guy on staff.  This could turn out to be a pretty lucrative job though.  Maybe all that is broken is a connection string to their production database.  "Hey you fixed it, you're hired!  Just make sure nothing breaks in the future."  So the guy's job is basically  come in, check a few log files, then twiddle the thumbs the rest of the day...



  • @RHuckster said:

    I love the "potential to go perm" part... it unintentionally implies that their code is so f'ed up it might require a fulltime salaried employee whose sole position is to fix what they broke. I'm visualizing a poor sap who's doing this until retirement.

    Either that or they really like curly hair.



  • @bstorer said:

    @RHuckster said:

    I love the "potential to go perm" part... it unintentionally implies that their code is so f'ed up it might require a fulltime salaried employee whose sole position is to fix what they broke. I'm visualizing a poor sap who's doing this until retirement.

    Either that or they really like curly hair.
     

     

    I actually laughed at this



  • @Mason Wheeler said:

    looks through the code  Hmm... well, sir, from what I can tell, it would appear that this code is written in .NET.  That seems to be the major source of your problems right there
    I don't know why, but in my head that just played as a Monty Python sketch



  • @bstorer said:

    @RHuckster said:

    I love the "potential to go perm" part... it unintentionally implies that their code is so f'ed up it might require a fulltime salaried employee whose sole position is to fix what they broke. I'm visualizing a poor sap who's doing this until retirement.

    Either that or they really like curly hair.

    Perhaps this job's "unwritten requirement" is to be rocking a massive 'fro.  Preferably red in color and somewhat misshapen so as to enhance the natural sway when walking.


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