"I only removed the tape"



  •  I had a customer come into my store yesterday absolutely livid. He bought a printer to print a letter, and was furious that he'd spent $200 on something that didn't work.He thrust the cartridges at me and said that he hadn't got it working because after he took the tape off the cartridges the printer wouldn't detect them. There was still a small bit of tape he couldn't get off and it shouldn't be that hard to remove. He wanted new cartridges and he wanted them now! he'd already spent $200 dollars on trying to print the letter and he wasn't going to spend more.

     Looking at the cartridges, the problem was all too clear- the 'tape' that he had removed was actually the entire flexible circuitboard that connected the contacts to the print head.

     It took me about three minute to get him to clam down and explaing that that tape was actually part of the cartridge, and since he had damged them, we couldn't take them back.

     "I guess I have to pay for new ones then" he huffed begrudgingly, irritated that his letter was going to cost him even more. As I sold him a new set, I demonstrated that he only needed to remove the small, bright orange, piece of tape.



  • It took me about three minute to get him to clam down and explaing that
    that tape was actually part of the cartridge, and since he had damged
    them, we couldn't take them back.

    Could you explaing the phrases "clam down", "explaing" and "damged" to me? My native language is Dutch so I'm afraid I'm missing something here.



  • @v.dog said:

    he'd already spent $200 dollars on trying to print the letter and he wasn't going to spend more.
     

    200 dollar dollars? Zounds!



  • @RobIII said:

    It took me about three minute to get him to clam down and explaing that
    that tape was actually part of the cartridge, and since he had damged
    them, we couldn't take them back.

    Could you explaing the phrases "clam down", "explaing" and "damged" to me? My native language is Dutch so I'm afraid I'm missing something here.

     

    LOL, I didn't even notice those typos. I guess after 12 years of reading forums and other "normal people" content means they aren't noticed. It's bad when a client gives me content to put onto their website and I just copy/paste, then I get in trouble for not fixing their mistakes! (BTW you missed the "three minutes" but not all language have the concept of singular vs plural forms of words)



  • @RobIII said:

    It took me about three minute to get him to clam down and explaing that
    that tape was actually part of the cartridge, and since he had damged
    them, we couldn't take them back.

    Could you explaing the phrases "clam down", "explaing" and "damged" to me? My native language is Dutch so I'm afraid I'm missing something here.

    "Clam down" is a phrase that means a woman has collapsed from the physical exhaustion of too much penetration.  Like, what happens to pstorer's wife after me and a football team are done with her.


    The other two are racial slurs against the Dutch, which is probably why your English phrasebook omits them.



  •  (BTW you missed the "three minutes" but not all language have the concept of singular vs plural forms of words)

    Nah, didn't miss it; just didn't bother to whine about that too :-P

    "Clam down" is a phrase that means a woman has collapsed from the
    physical exhaustion of too much penetration.  Like, what happens to
    pstorer's wife after me and a football team are done with her.

    Even though my native tongue is Dutch, I actually did (and do) know what it means :-)

    The other two are racial slurs against the Dutch, which is probably why your English phrasebook omits them.
    Teehee. I LOL-ed. Now go look up flapdrol.

     



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    "Clam down" is a phrase that means a woman has collapsed from the physical exhaustion of too much penetration.  Like, what happens to pstorer's wife after me and a football team are done with her.

     You need a football team to help you get her to clam down? Pffffft.



  • @RobIII said:

    flapdrol.
     

    I absolutely agree that Morbs is a floppy turd.



  • @v.dog said:

    "I guess I have to pay for new ones then"
     

    "Think of it as idiot tax"

    Don't printers come with illustrations these days? I bought an HP recently and given its instructions, you'd have to have a mental deficiency to fail at placing the cartridges in the printer.



  • @SQLDave said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    "Clam down" is a phrase that means a woman has collapsed from the physical exhaustion of too much penetration.  Like, what happens to pstorer's wife after me and a football team are done with her.

     You need a football team to help you get her to clam down? Pffffft.

    That's because his native tongue is not Dutch.



  • @Anonymouse said:

    @SQLDave said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    "Clam down" is a phrase that means a woman has collapsed from the physical exhaustion of too much penetration.  Like, what happens to pstorer's wife after me and a football team are done with her.

     You need a football team to help you get her to clam down? Pffffft.

    That's because his native tongue is not Dutch.

    Are you saying that morbs is not a cunning linguist?


  • @morbiuswilters said:

    The other two are racial slurs against the Dutch, which is probably why your English phrasebook omits them.

     

    WHAT!? That's unacceptable. I must team up with my fellow Dutchman, we have to make a stand against this movement. The Dutch race will prevail!

    @DOA said:

    Don't printers come with illustrations these days? I bought an HP
    recently and given its instructions, you'd have to have a mental
    deficiency to fail at placing the cartridges in the printer.

    Not only with printers but with other electronic equipment as well. Maybe it's a bit of a step up compared to some "translations" (usually generated by Babelfish) but many of those sub-Ikea-quality illustrations are like free little puzzles that nobody's interested in solving.

    They must've had enough of the "RTFM"'s so they came up with manuals without text that we can't read as a result. In a few years from now we'll all shout "VTFM" instead I guess.



  • @cyphax said:

    The Dutch race will prevail!

     

    Given that Zandvoort hasn't hosted a grand prix in 25 years, I'd say it demonstrably hasn't.



  • @cyphax said:

    The Dutch race will prevail!

    Only if we annex you before the Atlantic Ocean does so.



  • @derula said:

    @cyphax said:
    The Dutch race will prevail!

    Only if we annex you before the Atlantic Ocean does so.

    Once I'm elected supreme emperor of Belgium we will allow Germany to annex The Netherlands except for the region "Nederlands Limburg" which should have been part of Belgium since 1830. The average Dutch person doesn't like this region anyway.



  • @bjolling said:

    The average Dutch person doesn't like this region anyway.
     

    I'd say afsteken & wegduwen, but it's landlocked.



  • @dhromed said:

    I'd say afsteken & wegduwen
    Gesundheit!



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    "Clam down" is a phrase that means a woman has collapsed from the physical exhaustion of too much penetration.  Like, what happens to pstorer's wife after me and a football team are done with her.
    I call bullshit; she only likes hockey.



  • @v.dog said:

    He bought a printer to print a letter, and was furious that he'd spent $200 on something that didn't work.
     

    I'm surprised nobody's brought this up as TRWTF yet - $200 on an inkjet for printing letters in 2010?

       --- Mr. DOS



  • @Mr. DOS said:

    I'm surprised nobody's brought this up as TRWTF yet - $200 on an inkjet for printing letters in 2010?


    15.00$ Printer
    65.00$ Black Ink
    55.00$ Yellow Ink
    55.00$ Cyan Ink
    55.00$ Magenta Ink

    245.00$ total



  •  $70.00 Cheap Samsung laser printer
    $80.00 Replacement toner
    ------- --------
    $150.00 total
    --- Mr. DOS



  • @Lingerance said:

    @Mr. DOS said:

     

    I'm surprised nobody's brought this up as TRWTF yet - $200 on an inkjet for printing letters in 2010?

    15.00$ Printer
    65.00$ Black Ink
    55.00$ Yellow Ink
    55.00$ Cyan Ink
    55.00$ Magenta Ink
    -----
    245.00$ total
    Indeed, also known as the razor-and-blades business model.  Razors, cocaine, inkjet printers, diabetes supplies, and hellspawned Comcast are common examples.


  • @North Bus said:

    @Lingerance said:

    @Mr. DOS said:

     

    I'm surprised nobody's brought this up as TRWTF yet - $200 on an inkjet for printing letters in 2010?

    15.00$ Printer
    65.00$ Black Ink
    55.00$ Yellow Ink
    55.00$ Cyan Ink
    55.00$ Magenta Ink
    -----
    245.00$ total

    Indeed, also known as the razor-and-blades business model.  Razors, cocaine, inkjet printers, diabetes supplies, and hellspawned Comcast are common examples.

    Cocaine?  Comast?  WTF?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @NorthBus said:

    Indeed, also known as the razor-and-blades business model.  Razors, cocaine, inkjet printers, diabetes supplies, and hellspawned Comcast are common examples.

    Cocaine?  Comast?  WTF?

    Well... sort of.

    In those two cases, they give you something for free then hit you with the costs later.  Cocaine, when you come back for more.  Comcast, when they give you a "Free DVR!!!11!" and then suddenly charge you an extra $20.00/month for it, or slap you with an "early termination" fee if you try to return it.



  • @Mr. DOS said:

    I'm surprised nobody's brought this up as TRWTF yet - $200 on an inkjet for printing letters in 2010?
    Welcome to my country. :(



  • @North Bus said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @NorthBus said:

    Indeed, also known as the razor-and-blades business model.  Razors, cocaine, inkjet printers, diabetes supplies, and hellspawned Comcast are common examples.

    Cocaine?  Comast?  WTF?

    Well... sort of.

    In those two cases, they give you something for free then hit you with the costs later.  Cocaine, when you come back for more.  Comcast, when they give you a "Free DVR!!!11!" and then suddenly charge you an extra $20.00/month for it, or slap you with an "early termination" fee if you try to return it.

    I only use Comcast for Internet, so I wouldn't know about that.  As far as cocaine, you probably would have been better saying crack or heroin.  Cocaine is expensive but not very long-lasting nor is it addictive enough to make giving out freebies worth it.  After they come down from the first hit, they're going to want more but probably aren't hooked enough to actually pay you.



  •  Believe it or not, your customer is not the first to do this.  I had someone do this when I worked in retail back in 1997.  The orange or green strip on an HP cartridge actually has an illustration that shows you should only remove the tape, not the copper.



  • I thought clam down was the opposite of clam up, so he began to talk more coherently.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    $0.00 Work-suplus Laserjet 8150 w/duplexer, 0 pagecount
    $0.00 8x "Almost-empty" 100,000 page cartridges (90,000 pages in), bogarted from the recycle bin
    $0.00 LJ8150 Envelope feeder, surplus
    $0.00 LJ8150 1000-page feeder tray/stand, surplus
    $0.00 LJ8150 collator/stapler output module, surplus
    $0.00 2x JetDirect cards, surplus
    $0.00 80gb Laserjet spool drive, surplus
    $0.00 HP 1-to-3 power splitter, surplus
    $0.00 Handful of RAM for LJ8150, surplus
    $5.00 Bribe to coworker to help lever these things into a small compact car
    ------ --------
    $5.00 total
     
    I win.



  • @Weng said:

    I win.

    Oh yes, you win.

    @Weng said:

    $5.00 Bribe to coworker to help lever these things into a small compact car
     

    Your coworker loses, though.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

     I'm still looking for the MFP/scanner module for that thing, though


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