Feel the Sicness



  • A friend of mine who lives in rural Illinois told me received a letter in the mail from his bank that they were going to soon have "internet banking".  Although it's a WTF in and of itself for a bank to not have an online presence in this day and age, that's not what made me rush to post this here.  The banking website in question:  [url]http://www.fsbch.com/[/url].  Yes, that is a site counter.  In the year two-thousand and nine.  On a [i]banking[/i] website.

    However, it gets much, much worse.  Take the link at the bottom of the homepage to the company that is apparently behind the new website: [url]http://www.feelthesicness.com/[/url].  I won't even try to list all of the technical WTFs contained in that site (broken links? on a web design company's webpage?), but I will point out a few gems in the actual content:

    "fight the power" RISE UP AGAINST TWITTER news post

    pictures of a computer that the owner built inside of an igloo cooler

    "Hover over the images in order to get a larger view of these layouts.
    BTW, this is using HTML not Javascript. Because I am THAT good."

    "I, Chris Martin established SIC in 2007 while I was just in High School."

    "I work as an Inventory Control Specialist at WAL MART!!!!!!".

     

    This guy is clearly someone from the bank's nephew who is "good with computers".  I have advised my friend to switch banks.  As fast as possible.  There is no way that this will not end badly.



  •  That's genuinely disturbing.



  • I`m feeling the sicness and it makes me want to puke



  •  "My work can be found in the library of Congress" 🙂



  • @Judinous said:

    "Hover over the images in order to get a larger view of these layouts.
    BTW, this is using HTML CSS not Javascript. Because I am THAT good awful."
     

    Fixed.  Doesn't he even know the difference between CSS and HTML?  I'm not even a web programmer and I know the difference.  A quick peak with Firebug shows the releavant html is 

    <img class="preview" alt="fsb of campbell hill" src="images/fsbch.jpg"/>

    and some of the corresponding CSS is

    .hoverbox a:hover .preview {
    display:block;
    left:-45px;
    position:absolute;
    top:-33px;
    z-index:1;
    }
     
    and
     
    .hoverbox .preview {
    border-color:#000000;
    height:900px;
    width:1000px;
    }
    .hoverbox img {
    background:#FFFFFF none repeat scroll 0 0;
    border-style:solid;
    border-width:1px;
    color:inherit;
    padding:2px;
    vertical-align:top;
    }
     
    Oh, and his css file is in css/css.css.  So nice and redundant.

    And this guy is running a bank website.  Horrifying!



  • If there is any chance that this kid is doing the "internet banking" for this bank - run as fast as you can to your nearest branch and transfer your account to somewhere safe! Otherwise some script kiddie will have emptied your account within 24 hours of the site going live!



  • @Judinous said:

    "Hover over the images in order to get a larger view of these layouts.
    BTW, this is using HTML not Javascript. Because I am THAT good."
     

    When I hover over an image the large image pops up in the lower right corner of my screen, but most of it is off screen with only the upper left 25% visible.  Scroll bars appear in my browser but I can't scroll down or over to see the whole picture -- as soon as I move the mouse over to the scroll bars the enlarged picture disappears along with the scroll bars.

     Pure genius.

     



  • @Judinous said:

    The banking website in question:  http://www.fsbch.com/.  Yes, that is a site counter.  In the year two-thousand and nine.  On a banking website.

    Unlike my bank, where I can log in and actually do things like access my account, this bank does not appear to offer any such thing on its website.  There is just general information -- location of ATMs, phone numbers of various branches, etc.  This is (thankfully) not a banking website, it's merely a website about a bank.  I serious doubt "Chris" is capable of much more.




  • @GettinSadda said:

    If there is any chance that this kid is doing the "internet banking" for this bank - run as fast as you can to your nearest branch and transfer your account to somewhere safe! Otherwise some script kiddie will have emptied your account within 24 hours of the site going live!

    It will be a link to an outsourced managed service provided by netteller.com, most likely.  There's another small local bank's website on the same hosting provider that does it that way.  And their website is done in frontpage and uses Comic fucking Sans.  Honestly, their page of adverts designed and sent in for a competition by local schoolkids looks better.



  • This needs to be a front page story IMMEDIATELY. Incredible find.

    Check out the page about the cooler computer he built:

    @feelthesicness said:

    I built a computer last quarter in my networking protocols class that defies the main limitations of a computer. I built a self sustaining(cooling) computer built INSIDE a large cooler. When the lid is closed, it looks like a powerized self cooling, cooler.

    I don't think he knows what limitations or self-sustaining mean. At least he can claim credit for inventing the word "powerized".

    He's got thumbnails there, too, but they're maddening. In Safari they show up off screen when you mouse over, so you have to scroll with your mouse because if you reach for the scroll bar the image will disappear, the overflow disappears, and the scroll bars disappear. Killer web design. I'm already sic of it.



  •  That's just plain SCARY.



  • @savar said:

    In Safari they show up off screen when you mouse over, so you have to scroll with your mouse because if you reach for the scroll bar the image will disappear, the overflow disappears, and the scroll bars disappear.

    It does that in Firefox 3.5, too.



  • @GettinSadda said:

    If there is any chance that this kid is doing the "internet banking" for this bank - run as fast as you can to your nearest branch and transfer your account to somewhere safe! Otherwise some script kiddie will have emptied your account within 24 hours of the site going live!

    I assume nobody at that bank has ever heard of Sarbanes Oxley if that kid does build the online banking site. I can't imagine that their claim of FDIC insurance is true, though.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @Judinous said:

    "Hover over the images in order to get a larger view of these layouts.
    BTW, this is using HTML not Javascript. Because I am THAT good."
     

    When I hover over an image the large image pops up in the lower right corner of my screen, but most of it is off screen with only the upper left 25% visible.  Scroll bars appear in my browser but I can't scroll down or over to see the whole picture -- as soon as I move the mouse over to the scroll bars the enlarged picture disappears along with the scroll bars.

     Pure genius.

     

     

    I was just going to say that.  I can do better than that without using javascript OR css for that matter.



  • @savar said:

    In Safari they show up off screen when you mouse over, so you have to scroll with your mouse because if you reach for the scroll bar the image will disappear, the overflow disappears, and the scroll bars disappear. Killer web design. I'm already sic of it.

    Did you know you can scroll with the keyboard, too?

    That's not I would want to defend this masterpiece—just a hint for those who want to laugh at the full pictures. As long as mouse stays in the popped-up image, it will not disappear. Mouse wheel also works.



  •  @Bulb said:

    Did you know you can scroll with the keyboard, too?

    That's not I would want to defend this masterpiece—just a hint for those who want to laugh at the full pictures. As long as mouse stays in the popped-up image, it will not disappear. Mouse wheel also works.

     

    At work earlier today, the keyboard worked to scroll around, but the mouse wheel did not.



  • The copyright line at the bottom of the page has the bank's name spelled incorrectly as well (Campbell => Cambell)
    The bottom of each page has "A SIC Web Innovations Production" spaced out by nbsp's
    The external link notification alert text is pasted separately for each alert

    The developers' site has an expletive on the front page...
    Also about his computer... is it just me or is that a 1280x1024 screen using an 800x600 resolution?

    "new age quality professionalism and design" indeed...



  • Instant Classic!



  • Has anyone noticed the testimonial in the Testimonials! section is from a guy called Chris M? Which just happens to be the designer's name.



  • @El_Heffe said:

    @Judinous said:

    "Hover over the images in order to get a larger view of these layouts. BTW, this is using HTML not Javascript. Because I am THAT good."
     

    When I hover over an image the large image pops up in the lower right corner of my screen, but most of it is off screen with only the upper left 25% visible.  Scroll bars appear in my browser but I can't scroll down or over to see the whole picture -- as soon as I move the mouse over to the scroll bars the enlarged picture disappears along with the scroll bars.

     Pure genius.

     

    A little javascript could fix that... 😉

    Actually, some better CSS could fix that too.



  • All websites created by me and my crack team of 'cheap professionals' are high quality and held to the standards of the W3C.

    [url=http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Foverkillcustom.globat.com%2Fsicness%2F]Yeah[/url], [url=http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fsbch.com%2F]sure[/url].



  • This has absolutely made my day. I think my favourite part has to be:

    "I am 6'2" tall with brown hair and hazel eyes"

    Just... why? What? Huh?



  • "We are not responsible for: major damaged equipment, equipment failure in our possesion, wrong decisions due to ID-10-T errors."

    Wow. Professional.



  •  I'd get a different bank asap.



  • @Taiyal said:

    The developers' site has an expletive on the front page...

    To be fair, Atlassian does on their About page.  And they're even a real company!



  • @Flatline said:

    Has anyone noticed the testimonial in the Testimonials! section is from a guy called Chris M? Which just happens to be the designer's name.

    @Chris Martin said:

    I am 6'2" tall with brown hair and hazel eyes. My hobbies are
    computers, writing stories/poetry and customizing my two vehicles i
    bought myself: a 2002 Chevrolet Silverado and a 1993 Mitsubishi Eclipse
    GS.

    @Testimonials said:

    I received a truck loan a year ago. FSBCH provided me with quick
    service and good results, & I got a much lower rate than many other
    local banks around! Thanks FSBCH, you have got a customer for life!
    -Chris M

    Yep.

     

    For added fun:

    @First State Bank of Campbell Hill said:

    PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: Please do not send us sensitive and/or
    confidential information through internet-mail(email). Thousands can
    view your information you send via-email by intercepting it or by
    monitoring internet servers
    .



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Taiyal said:

    The developers' site has an expletive on the front page...

    To be fair, Atlassian does on their About page.  And they're even a real company!

    Yeah, but they're Australian.  In Australianese, "bullshit" isn't an expletive, but -- due to their lack of fences and basic hygene -- a tragic part of everyday life.



  • The Coriponder link is busted, but http://www.coriponder.net is reachable.  Bonus points for the scrolling title.

    Should someone be alerted that we've found the main site of CP network?

    <font face="georgia,palatino" size="7">HE IS A DIFFERENCE</font>


    <font color="#ff0000" size="2">WELCOME TO CORIPONDER.NET</font>

    <font color="#ff0000" size="2">THE MAIN SITE OF CP NETWORK, TO ENTER CORIPONDER.NET PLEASE JUST CLICK ENTER BELOW, </font>




  • so based on the links from his site to his facebook and myspace I'm now horrified.  He calls himself a professional photographer yet all his photos are bad even by myspace standards...  While I think its great to want to do a lot of different things, this kid needs to pick one and run with just that for a while.



  • @galgorah said:

    While I think its great to want to do a lot of different things, this kid needs to pick one and run with just that for a while.
    You are making the erroneous assumption that there is any one thing he is good enough at to warrant sticking with.  This is demonstrably false.



  • Oh, man! I feel so.... so..... useless. According to this guy's s(h)ite, "I am 6'2" tall with brown hair and hazel eyes"

    I'm 5'8" with black hair and grey-blue eyes (read "pasty-faced short-arse") No wonder my websites are crap!

    I need that makeover now to ensure that I can say that "I am THAT good"!



  • @bstorer said:

    @galgorah said:

    While I think its great to want to do a lot of different things, this kid needs to pick one and run with just that for a while.
    You are making the erroneous assumption that there is any one thing he is good enough at to warrant sticking with.  This is demonstrably false.

    I'll give you that one.  I was trying to be nice since I also do photography (The difference being the photography I take ends up in major newspaper (boston globe, metro, pheonix, etc) and have worked with bands in various capacities (Tour manager, photo, tech, etc).  So I get that the kid wants to be part of that, but man does he suck.  How can he seriously think any of this crap is professional quality.  Wether its his atrocious idea of quarter assed web design or his crappy photos. Oh and his blog is horribly depressing...



  • @Spectre said:

    All websites created by me and my crack team of 'cheap professionals' are high quality and held to the standards of the W3C.

    Yeah, sure.

    There was a typo in the requisition order.  He asked to head up a crack team of cheap professionals, but what he ended up getting was a cheap team of professional crackheads.



  • @DaveK said:

    professional crackheads
    Wait, you can go pro in that?  Why have I bothered to retain my amateur status for all these years, when I could be getting paid for doing what I love?



  • I can't wait until this dude shows up in this forum like that dude who (claims to have) sold cars on his horrible website.



  • @bstorer said:

    @DaveK said:

    professional crackheads
    Wait, you can go pro in that?  Why have I bothered to retain my amateur status for all these years, when I could be getting paid for doing what I love?

    Well once you go pro you do lose the ability to enter the crack-oylimpics

    How could mere money compete with knowing you are the biggest crack-head in the world????? Are you sure you are really passionate about being a crack-head??? Hmmm???



  • @galgorah said:

    @bstorer said:

    @galgorah said:

    While I think its great to want to do a lot of different things, this kid needs to pick one and run with just that for a while.
    You are making the erroneous assumption that there is any one thing he is good enough at to warrant sticking with.  This is demonstrably false.

    I'll give you that one.  I was trying to be nice since I also do photography (The difference being the photography I take ends up in major newspaper (boston globe, metro, pheonix, etc) and have worked with bands in various capacities (Tour manager, photo, tech, etc).  So I get that the kid wants to be part of that, but man does he suck.  How can he seriously think any of this crap is professional quality.  Wether its his atrocious idea of quarter assed web design or his crappy photos. Oh and his blog is horribly depressing...
     

     There is a blog? Link please



  • @OzPeter said:

    @bstorer said:

    @DaveK said:

    professional crackheads
    Wait, you can go pro in that?  Why have I bothered to retain my amateur status for all these years, when I could be getting paid for doing what I love?

    Well once you go pro you do lose the ability to enter the crack-oylimpics

    How could mere money compete with knowing you are the biggest crack-head in the world????? Are you sure you are really passionate about being a crack-head??? Hmmm???

    Actually, I'm banned from international crack competition because I was caught using a performance enhancing drug: more crack.


  • @Judinous said:

    "I, Chris Martin established SIC in 2007 while I was just in High School."

     

    That makes a lot of sense.  Everything we've seen so far screams "dipshit who just graduated or possibly didn't graduate from high school."  Although the trainwreck is amusing, it would have been funnier if it had come from a "professional".



  • @Heron said:

    @savar said:

    In Safari they show up off screen when you mouse over, so you have to scroll with your mouse because if you reach for the scroll bar the image will disappear, the overflow disappears, and the scroll bars disappear.

    It does that in Firefox 3.5, too.

     

    Yeah but remember, all of his sites are tested in Firefox 1.0.3.  You are using the wrong version.



  • @Aaron said:

    @Judinous said:

    "I, Chris Martin established SIC in 2007 while I was just in High School."

     

    That makes a lot of sense.  Everything we've seen so far screams "dipshit who just graduated or possibly didn't graduate from high school."  Although the trainwreck is amusing, it would have been funnier if it had come from a "professional".

    Excuse me? Somtimes High schoolers can do a reasonable job.



  • @amischiefr said:

    @Heron said:

    @savar said:

    In Safari they show up off screen when you mouse over, so you have to scroll with your mouse because if you reach for the scroll bar the image will disappear, the overflow disappears, and the scroll bars disappear.

    It does that in Firefox 3.5, too.

     

    Yeah but remember, all of his sites are tested in Firefox 1.0.3.  You are using the wrong version.

     Firefox 1.0.3+, so Heron's fine.  Although, considering this "company" was started in 2007, why was he testing it with a version of Firefox from April of 2005?



  • @Indrora said:

    Excuse me? Somtimes High schoolers can do a reasonable job.
    It is rare for me to regret having clicked a link. Thank you for this rare opportunity, Indrora.

    Now, if you'll excuse me I need to vomit in abject pity for the poor son of a bitch who created that criminally offensive page.



  • @Welbog said:

    @Indrora said:
    Excuse me? Somtimes High schoolers can do a reasonable job.
    It is rare for me to regret having clicked a link. Thank you for this rare opportunity, Indrora.

    Now, if you'll excuse me I need to vomit in abject pity for the poor son of a bitch who created that criminally offensive page.
     

    I'll give you a hint as to who did it:

     "Morgan (or indrora) is a programmer from New Mexico. He’s done lots of
    work and is soon going to publish a lot of that work on this blog."



  • @Welbog said:

    @Indrora said:
    Excuse me? Somtimes High schoolers can do a reasonable job.
    It is rare for me to regret having clicked a link. Thank you for this rare opportunity, Indrora.

    Now, if you'll excuse me I need to vomit in abject pity for the poor son of a bitch who created that criminally offensive page.
    Bullshit.  The goal of any good web design is to layer as many semi-opaque objects as possible over one another, especially if it gets in the way of text readability.  What more could you possibly want?



  • @amischiefr said:

     

    I'll give you a hint as to who did it:

     "Morgan (or indrora) is a programmer from New Mexico. He’s done lots of
    work and is soon going to publish a lot of that work on this blog."

    Hmmm... I think I need another hint.



  • i tested under everything down to NS 4



  • @Indrora said:

    i tested under everything down to NS 4
    So how does this look on a browser that doesn't even understand what style is.



  • moderately broken. but it renders fine on opera mini 3\4 and reasonably modern browsers render it fine



  • @Indrora said:

    i tested under everything down to NS 4
    It's not the rigor of the testing that is being questioned, but the aesthetic of the design.


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