Secrets for getting pregnant



  • This ad was one those golden "What the fuck were they thinking?" moments.

    FunnyBanner



  • 7 tips? Er, okay, okay.

    1. Start wearing tighter, shorter dresses, make-up and high heels.
    2. Be nice to people around you, especially from the opposite sex. Make them feel special, even if you hate them.
    3. Throw away condoms if you have any in your house or handbag, remove your loop or other contraceptives you might be using.
    4. Fake an AIDS test. The result of desire would be 'HIV negative". Put it in a convenient place in your house and show it to any visitor.
    5. Clean your house and set up a romantic spot in the living room. Hint: No flowers and candles. Seriously. And don't ask why.
    6. Try to convince men to accompany you home. Try to find out if they have condoms with them and if yes, rid those secretly.
    7. Fuck them hard. Hint: Anal or oral sex won't help.


  •  This ad is geared to women who have problems conceiving. Not really a WTF without context of what the 7 tips actually are. You could find similar "WTF" material here http://www.fertilitycommunity.com/



  • @movzx said:

     This ad is geared to women who have problems conceiving.

    Are you quite certain of that? I was fairly certain it was directed at Albanian separatists.



  • @beau29 said:

    I was fairly certain it was directed at Albanian separatists.
     

    So was I. I'm a little confused now.



  • @dhromed said:

    @beau29 said:

    I was fairly certain it was directed at Albanian separatists.
     

    So was I. I'm a little confused now.

    I thought it was for lemurs.  Now I'm really confused...



  •  (My wife and) I'm not in the target market! First month of trying, BAM! Little Zemm will be here soon...



  • @Zemm said:

    Little Zemm will be here soon...

    Did you have a look at the ultrasonic scan? Does it look like a Muppet, too?



  • You could find similar "WTF" material here http://www.fertilitycommunity.com/

    How to make the most of your doctor.... o.0



  • @movzx said:

     This ad is geared to women who have problems conceiving. Not really a WTF without context of what the 7 tips actually are.

     

    Well, if infertility is not the problem and the tips are about the natural way of doing things, I can't help but to "misunderstand" the ad.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

     Counterintuitively, "Fuck every night" isn't the best plan. Takes time to reload that thing, and one bigass scatter-shot will have a better chance of hitting the target than sniping.

     

    This is why silly bible belt "Once a week, cuz thats what the bible says" families are so damned prolific.



  • @Weng said:

     Counterintuitively, "Fuck every night" isn't the best plan. Takes time to reload that thing, and one bigass scatter-shot will have a better chance of hitting the target than sniping.

     

    This is why silly bible belt "Once a week, cuz thats what the bible says" families are so damned prolific.

     

    your hypothesis does not seem to be confirmed by data:

    @http://www.newjerseynewsroom.com/style/survey-the-sex-habits-of-americans said:


    Sexual Frequency by City (per year):

    1. Houston — 101

    2. Atlanta — 88

    3. Washington D.C. — 86

    4. Los Angeles — 82

    5. New York — 80

    6. Boston — 79

    7. Chicago — 73

    8. Dallas/Ft. Worth — 73

    9. Philadelphia — 73

    10. San Francisco — 60


     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

     I see no data that counters my theory - none of those places have a particularly high percentage of whackjob bible-thumping baby-factory cretins.



  • @Weng said:

     I see no data that counters my theory - none of those places have a particularly high percentage of whackjob bible-thumping baby-factory cretins.

     

    No big city does.  The biggest city with a lot of "bible thumpers" is probably Tulsa, OK but it's not even close to being considered big.  Anyways, Atlanta, Dallas and Houston are all going to be fairly Christian with a definite southern baptist bent.  2 of those 3 are in the top 2.



  • @derula said:

    7 tips? Er, okay, okay.

    1. Start wearing tighter, shorter dresses, make-up and high heels.
    2. Be nice to people around you, especially from the opposite sex. Make them feel special, even if you hate them.
    3. Throw away condoms if you have any in your house or handbag, remove your loop or other contraceptives you might be using.
    4. Fake an AIDS test. The result of desire would be 'HIV negative". Put it in a convenient place in your house and show it to any visitor.
    5. Clean your house and set up a romantic spot in the living room. Hint: No flowers and candles. Seriously. And don't ask why.
    6. Try to convince men to accompany you home. Try to find out if they have condoms with them and if yes, rid those secretly.
    7. Fuck them hard. Hint: Anal or oral sex won't help.

    No, no, don't get rid of the condoms. Poke holes in the tips with a needle. That will make less child-friendly men more willing to give it to you and still give you about the same chances of getting knocked up.



  • @tster said:

    @Weng said:

     I see no data that counters my theory - none of those places have a particularly high percentage of whackjob bible-thumping baby-factory cretins.

     

    No big city does.  The biggest city with a lot of "bible thumpers" is probably Tulsa, OK but it's not even close to being considered big.  Anyways, Atlanta, Dallas and Houston are all going to be fairly Christian with a definite southern baptist bent.  2 of those 3 are in the top 2.

    That still doesn't contradict his hypothesis.  I don't know if what he said is biologically correct, but your list doesn't really argue one way or the other unless you have a demographic breakdown grouped by religion.  Now if you had birth rates to go with it, then we might have something to talk about, but right now I'm not even sure what point you were trying to make.



  • @Weng said:

     Counterintuitively, "Fuck every night" isn't the best plan.
    Worked for my wife and me.  Though to be truthful, I have to preface that with "fly halfway around the world so your sleep schedule is off for about a week."  Which admittedly may not be cost-effective for everyone.

     


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.