To all who Think Themselves a Programmer



  • We don't like you. You are a weak, oblong programmer.

    We only like amazing, bad ass programmers.

    You, dude, are not bad ass.

    Just try to implode our faces, and show us your bad-assness. Oblong.

    Let us see if you are a programmer worthy of existence.



    Link:

    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/eng/1246353621.html



  • @Smelly Website said:

    If you have a Computer Degree of any variety and think it is worth anything, then go away and don't waste our time.


    Required From Scratch Cooking:

    Write most wicked hello world.
    Any language.

    You FAIL and we hate you if stuff like this is sent:

    puts 'Hello World';  ## Fail
    echo 'Hello World';  ## Failure
    say 'Hello World';   ## Fail though neat if u know 'say'
    print 'Hello World'; // You are weak.
    for (....) { ... }   /* FAIL */
    while ( .. ) { .. }  // FAIL FAIL I hate you.
    foreach ( .. ) { . } // Better...  Fail.
    "Hello World".fluf() ## Cooler... Fail.
    'GET http://blah'    ## Don't even try.  Fail.
    0100100001100101     ## Nope.  FAIL.
    

    So anyone up for going behinds the scene in this massive WTF waiting to happen?



  • ¬†Heh...

    [code]class World {
    public function Hello () {
    echo FUNCTION;
    echo chr(32);
    echo CLASS;
    }
    }
    $x = new World;
    $x->Hello();[/code]

    This one amused me. ūüėÉ



  • ¬†13 year olds are hiring? Man, they start younger and younger these days...



  • Well, at least that answer to life thingy is easy: 42!! [/obligatory Douglas Adams reference]



  • ¬†Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD', and writing a BASIC routine:

    10 FOR N = 1 TO 11

    20 PRINT CHR$(equation based on N)

    30 NEXT N

    ...now THAT'S ninja.



  • @steenbergh said:

    Well, at least that answer to life thingy is easy: 42!! [/obligatory Douglas Adams reference]

    Do you have any idea how big 42!! is? Even just 42! is on the order of 10^51, and computing 42!! on this computer takes too long. And even if you meant 42, you're assuming that the universe and everything make no contribution to the result, which seems implausible given how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big they are.



  • The more obfuscated is your code, the more chances you have to be hired, it seems.

    and WIN #12 is ripped from Jack Applin's IOCCC entry from 1985.



  • ¬†Apparently they have other cool postings too: craigslist ftw



  • @PeriSoft said:

     Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD', and writing a BASIC routine:

    ...

    now THAT'S ninja.


    Interesting. For good reason, such an equation should produce {72,101,108,108,111,32,87,119,111,114,108,100} in any interval (or 1 if you want to follow PeriSoft)



  • @PeriSoft said:

    Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD', and writing a BASIC routine:

    10 FOR N = 1 TO 11

    20 PRINT CHR$(equation based on N)

    30 NEXT N

    ...now THAT'S ninja.


    I knew this lecture about numerics would come in handy some day... but not that this day would be so soon.


    Also, thanks you've killed some hours of my weekend where I'm going to polynomially interpolate 'Hello World'.



  • ¬†TRWTF:

    Reverse IP lookup relates saymix.com to http://ltsun.com/  a site for an apparently php4 compatible CMS. Its installation instructions include gems such as chmod'ing webroot to 777. The demo site is 100 types of WTF: http://ltsun.com/demo/index.php



  • @tx_ said:

    The demo site is 100 types of WTF: http://ltsun.com/demo/index.php
    Woah...

    The demo site is somewhere along the lines of a bastard child of the VHS from The Ring and a Web 2.0 Time Cube or something...

    Pardon me while I check to reassure myself that the world outside still exists.



  • @derula said:

    @PeriSoft said:
    Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD', and writing a BASIC routine:

    10 FOR N = 1 TO 11

    20 PRINT CHR$(equation based on N)

    30 NEXT N

    ...now THAT'S ninja.


    I knew this lecture about numerics would come in handy some day... but not that this day would be so soon.


    Also, thanks you've killed some hours of my weekend where I'm going to polynomially interpolate 'Hello World'.

     

    I did that awhile ago in the hello world thread in the coder challenge forum.



  • @PeriSoft said:

     Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD',...now THAT'S ninja.

    That's awesome!

    I had Mathematica do it but it ain't pretty...:

    [img]http://rix0r.nl/~rix0r/share/shot-20090710.105724.gif[/img]



  • @RiX0R said:

    That's awesome!

    I had Mathematica do it but it ain't pretty

    Maybe it gets prettier if you:

    - Allow it to have another interval than [1,11]
    - Allow it to have another stepsize than 1
    - Allow it to get number +- 0.4999... (so that if you round it to an integer it still is the same number)

     No idea how you'd do that though



  • @RiX0R said:

    That's awesome!

    I had Mathematica do it but it ain't pretty...:

     

    ¬†Fantastic! I didn't expect that someone would actually DO it... if I had the time I'd translate that to basic and send it, but my car blew out a wheel bearing yesterday and I need to fix it by this afternoon. ūüėõ



  • ¬†Amateurs!¬† A real math ninja would map it in three dimensions such as x=character position, y=high nybble, z=low nybble



  • @RiX0R said:

    I had Mathematica do it but it ain't pretty...:

    Wolfram Alpha says it's the same as:

    (7654 x^10 - 461785 x^9 + 12114555 x^8 - 181277790 x^7 + 1705617732 x^6 - 10487180865 x^5 + 42403195895 x^4 - 110469837560 x^3 + 175732633764 x^2 - 152094459600 x + 53510284800)/1814400
    or
    3827/907200 x^10 - 92357/362880 x^9 + 807637/120960 x^8 - 6042593/60480 x^7 + 20304973/21600 x^6 - 99877913/17280 x^5 + 8480639179/362880 x^4 - 2761745939/45360 x^3 + 4881462049/50400 x^2 - 42248461/504 x + 29492
    and the function plot doesn't look too ugly, either.


  • @tx_ said:

     TRWTF:

    Reverse IP lookup relates saymix.com to http://ltsun.com/  a site for an apparently php4 compatible CMS. Its installation instructions include gems such as chmod'ing webroot to 777. The demo site is 100 types of WTF: http://ltsun.com/demo/index.php

     

    I thought you were joking until I read the installation instructions:


    Root CHMOD

    Make sure the directory that contains the "LTSun-Engine/" directory has full writting and reading permissions (chmod -R 0777)

    GOOD Example: chmod -R 0777 /var/www/my_website/

    BAD Example: chmod -R 0777 /var/www/my_website/LTSun-Engine

    Um, right. I'm going to give full access to any location on my web server just so somebody can use this software. If this is an example of "leet" programming skills then I'm very happy to not be "leet."

    It is possible that this person is just hosting a site for someone else as a sub-domain on his server. Even so, if they are like minds...



  • ¬†I am just awe struck. I always knew that you basically had two polar opposites in software development. The purely academic type, who never get anything finished. and the purely practical types, who never makes anything decent. I assumed everyone was always somewhere in between those two extremes. Now I know I was wrong.

    These guys have taken the worst from both worlds and made it into something new.



  • @tx_ said:

     TRWTF:

    Reverse IP lookup relates saymix.com to http://ltsun.com/  a site for an apparently php4 compatible CMS. Its installation instructions include gems such as chmod'ing webroot to 777. The demo site is 100 types of WTF: http://ltsun.com/demo/index.php

    Dear God, that demo is horrifying. Why would anyone release that as an example of their product?



  • @tx_ said:

     TRWTF:

    Reverse IP lookup relates saymix.com to http://ltsun.com/  a site for an apparently php4 compatible CMS. Its installation instructions include gems such as chmod'ing webroot to 777. The demo site is 100 types of WTF: http://ltsun.com/demo/index.php

    Wow. That's bad.

    I also like this one:


    1. DOCTYPE

      Exclude any DOCTYPE tags from your HTML. LTSun likes to work without DOCTYPEs.
    In other words: "It's un-leet to follow standards. Quirks mode is right. Your site must fail the validation and render differently (and hopefully incorrectly) in every browser.

     

     




  • @Dr Frankenstein said:

    I also like this one:
    1. DOCTYPE
      Exclude any DOCTYPE tags from your HTML. LTSun likes to work without DOCTYPEs.

    In other words: "It's un-leet to follow standards. Quirks mode is right. Your site must fail the validation and render differently (and hopefully incorrectly) in every browser.

    Because we all know that valid HTML automatically renders as intended in every available browser.



  • @derula said:

    Because we all know that valid HTML automatically renders as intended in every available browser.
     

    Point taken; but in quirksmode, at least you know it's going to suck.



  • @PeriSoft said:

     Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD', and writing a BASIC routine:

    10 FOR N = 1 TO 11

    20 PRINT CHR$(equation based on N)

    30 NEXT N

    ...now THAT'S ninja.

    BASIC? That's more of a pirate thing. (11-year-old warez d00d pirate, that is.) Ninjas use C. ūüôā

    Edit - some more details. I actually did this years same thing years ago, using GNU Octave's polyfit function. I wanted to do the program in Fortran for silliness, but, er, I have no idea why the program didn't work. (Apparently Fortran thinks of numbers in some strange way I don't understand.) So, I did it again in plain old C. I think the git repo includes a plot too - I was able to fit "Hello world" (with capital H), but adding punctuation to the end fucked everything up. It's past midnight, I don't have enough coffee to remember more and CommunityWTFServer will probably refuse to edit this comment if I keep on rambling for hours anyway.



  • ¬†@WWWWolf said:

    @PeriSoft said:

     Personally, I'd favor curve-fitting a polynomial to a sequence of the ASCII values of 'HELLO WORLD', and writing a BASIC routine:

    10 FOR N = 1 TO 11

    20 PRINT CHR$(equation based on N)

    30 NEXT N

    ...now THAT'S ninja.

    BASIC? That's more of a pirate thing. (11-year-old warez d00d pirate, that is.) Ninjas use C. ūüôā

    Edit - some more details. I actually did this years same thing years ago, using GNU Octave's polyfit function. I wanted to do the program in Fortran for silliness, but, er, I have no idea why the program didn't work. (Apparently Fortran thinks of numbers in some strange way I don't understand.) So, I did it again in plain old C. I think the git repo includes a plot too - I was able to fit "Hello world" (with capital H), but adding punctuation to the end fucked everything up. It's past midnight, I don't have enough coffee to remember more and CommunityWTFServer will probably refuse to edit this comment if I keep on rambling for hours anyway.

    Oh, and doubles. As a C programmer you should know that doubles (or other floats) are slower to compute than integers (in most cases). NINJAS USE NUMBER THEORY. Below's my attempt (in JavaScript):

    var a=[51,4,26,51,15,63,7,64,73,33,37,50,40],b=0,c,d,e='';
    for(;b<13;b++)
    {
    for(c=d=0;d<13;d++)
    c=(c*b+a[d])%89;
    e+=String.fromCharCode(c+32);
    }
    print(e);

    If you like, replace print with alert.



  • @ytrewq said:

    Oh, and doubles. As a C programmer you should know that doubles (or other floats) are slower to compute than integers (in most cases).

    The true spirit of Ninja lies not merely in the speed, but in the silence and effectiveness and the ability to turn even the most cumbersome of the datatypes to deadly weapons. Sure, if the daimyo merely requires the meddlesome rival dead, integers are just fine. But to send a message to the rival's successors - to truly paint the rival's halls red with the blood of the cur and their dishonourable clansmen and underlings - a few well-used doubles will prove to be much more useful and deadly than a number of integers. With proper care, even a weapon as unwieldy and unelegant as a double will prove to be a silent, yet gruesomely effective.


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