Spamming Graphics. Now with testimonials!



  • http://www.seantanmarketing.com/collection/

    Besides a domain name that looks like "satan-marketing", the content of this page is probably one of the most poorly created "professional" sites I've ever seen. 

    Notably, the testimonials (and obnoxious broken English), along with the section titled "This may sound crazy..." are worth a read.

    I guess there are a couple things that made this stand out to me, in the midst of tons of other similar sites: Apparently, they're spamming email out for their graphics pack (what non-IT person will be interested? And, what IT person is this going to sell to?), they don't even show you what's -in- the pack (which even the worst pharmasutical look-alike sites do), and so on.

    I guess I just would have expected a site marketed to IT people would be a little more "professional" for IT. Made me laugh, anyway.



  • I love how one of the reasons they list to buy it is "no refund".



  • What's with websites that are formatted like a letter, but end up being absurdly long? This isn't the only site I've seen like that.



  •  Studies showed that people actually do keep reading and get motivated to buy if you make it long.

    If they're thinking about buying it and you keep insisting it's a deal and that only a few copies are left and there's mony back guarantee they'll buy it, without reading the fine print saying you have to use it for 30 days to get your money back or that the guarantee is only for certain cases, where buyer has to proove the software product didn't help him.



  •  I like how they have the price "marked down", but the original crossed out price varies every time they mention it.

    Seriously though, I'd better buy a copy of this before all 4 of them get sold.



  •  My favorite is the fine print at the bottom

    "The testimonials and examples used are exceptional results, don’t apply to the average purchaser and are not intended to represent or guarantee that anyone will achieve the same or similar results."



  • @vt_mruhlin said:

     I like how they have the price "marked down", but the original crossed out price varies every time they mention it.

    Seriously though, I'd better buy a copy of this before all 4 of them get sold.

    Oh snap. My customers will not feel confident if you buy it first.


  • @mariushm said:

    If they're thinking about buying it and you keep insisting it's a deal and that only a few copies are left and there's mony back guarantee they'll buy it, without reading the fine print saying you have to use it for 30 days to get your money back or that the guarantee is only for certain cases, where buyer has to proove the software product didn't help him.

     

    Yeah, my wife is the typical sucker for this crap.  She'll tell me "but they were on sale and only had a few left", not even realizing that they will "RESTOCK" and that there is ALWAYS A FUCKING SALE SOMEWHERE!  

     

    Those money back guarentee's are along the same lines as the rebates.  Only some 25% of people ever claim them (refund or rebate), so the companies always make out (not that kind pervs!).



  • Actually, I think you're all being a little harsh, and I had to delurk after {mumble} of reading this stuff to say so. If you read the page, you'll see it's been written by a piece of furniture[1], and I'd say it's not a bad bit of marketing for an inanimate object.

    [1] It says "From the Desk of SeanTan", but I suspect it's really a wooden table.



  • @vt_mruhlin said:

    Seriously though, I'd better buy a copy of this before all 4 of them get sold.

    I was gonna make a joke about "how could they run out?" and began searching the page for a hint as to the delivery mechanism.  I guess they're running out of electrons with which to rush your order to you.  They're in short supply, you know.  Don't act like they grow on trees!

    In my search, I found this bit and chuckled

    @http://www.seantanmarketing.com/collection/ said:

    Does it expensive?

    He keeps making mention of using his product to sell another product, but then at the bottom he says "personal use only" (Right under "No Refunds" in the reasons you should purchase) which to me means you can't use it for your business.  Not that it matters because I'm sure there's no license agreement, or at the very most there's a poorly worded one.

    Also, the site in one of the testimonials (the one from the white guy) is marked by FF as a reported attack site.

    If you click the link to John Tan's site (from his testimony) and scroll to the bottom, you'll find a recommendation from none other than Satan Sean Tan



  • Those last four just aren't shifting. Maybe they're scratched?



  • Check out the "Extra Marketing Graphics" section.  There is an entire template made of what appears to be the TurboTax logo, except flat and in twenty different color schemes.  Comes in 1 PSD and JPEG format, too!



  • @Hashmir said:

    Check out the "Extra Marketing Graphics" section.  There is an entire template made of what appears to be the TurboTax logo, except flat and in twenty different color schemes.  Comes in 1 PSD and JPEG format, too!
    Upon looking for you mentioned, I just noticed the mystery box.  That's gotta be the ugliest question mark I've ever seen in my life.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @Hashmir said:

    Check out the "Extra Marketing Graphics" section.  There is an entire template made of what appears to be the TurboTax logo, except flat and in twenty different color schemes.  Comes in 1 PSD and JPEG format, too!
    Upon looking for you mentioned, I just noticed the mystery box.  That's gotta be the ugliest question mark I've ever seen in my life.

    Good God, is that a backwards "G" with a dot?

    EDIT:  No, it's a backwards "G" with a rectangle.


  • @billhead said:

     My favorite is the fine print at the bottom

    "The testimonials and examples used are exceptional results, don’t apply to the average purchaser and are not intended to represent or guarantee that anyone will achieve the same or similar results."

     

    Every site must have this if they have testimonials. Its like the "caution, contents very hot" on hot coffee. Also testimonials used to deceive must indicate that you yourself might not get these results. Like those TV adds that claim they have the secret so everyone can quit their jobs and start a business for 2 days a week and make a few hundred thousand a year.

     

    In any case if you are going to make a purchase decision just based on a few testimonials and a really really long front page, then you deserve to lose the money for a low, low, low price of... Well, unimportant. The cheap fool pays twice.



  • @Hashmir said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    @Hashmir said:

    Check out the "Extra Marketing Graphics" section.  There is an entire template made of what appears to be the TurboTax logo, except flat and in twenty different color schemes.  Comes in 1 PSD and JPEG format, too!
    Upon looking for you mentioned, I just noticed the mystery box.  That's gotta be the ugliest question mark I've ever seen in my life.

    Good God, is that a backwards "G" with a dot?
     

    It's ... It's a morbidly obese question mark.  



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @Hashmir said:

    Check out the "Extra Marketing Graphics" section.  There is an entire template made of what appears to be the TurboTax logo, except flat and in twenty different color schemes.  Comes in 1 PSD and JPEG format, too!
    Upon looking for you mentioned, I just noticed the mystery box.  That's gotta be the ugliest question mark I've ever seen in my life.

    Wait a minute, I know where I've seen that question mark before!

    It's the impact question mark!

    I guess TRWTF is Impact.



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    I guess TRWTF is Impact.
    Quiet!  If the lolcats here you, you'll be insulted in their captions for years to come!


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