VW WTF



  • Blue Motion
    Easy on the environment and on your wallet: the BlueMotion models. this e-mail in error please notify and return to sender.

     

    http://www.volkswagen.com/vwcms/master_public/virtualmaster/en2/experience/innovation.html?action=no

     

    I'm not even sure how that happened...



  •  It's more common than you'd think.  You're writing copy for two separate things in different windows, and you someone comes over the intercom to announce that there are donuts in the cafeteria.  So you stop what you're doing and rush to get a jelly-filled one before they're all taken, not realizing that you've bumped the mouse with your elbow.  When you return, you begin working again, not realizing that the donut was laced with psychotropic substances.  Later, as you're dragged out of the building for assaulting the janitor whom only you can see is truly the evil advisor of the octopus people.  On the way out, you kick over a potted plant in your struggle to escape the grasp of the blue demons trying to eat you.  The plant, recently watered despite being fake, spills water across the tile floor.  An account executive slips in the puddle and cracks his head open in the fall.  As the ambulance is taking him away, you return after kicking out the window of a police cruiser and fleeing.  Since your hands are cuffed behind your back, you find it terribly hard to weild the firearm you've stolen from one of the police officers.  Eventually, you settle on running backwards into a Krispy Kreme, firing blindly and screaming with rage.  Three people are killed in the massacre, and blood gets in the donut glazing machine, which isn't covered by Krispy Kreme's insurance, forcing the store to shut down.  Later, in your padded cell, you realize that the donuts were from Dunkin Donuts all along.  Boy does that get a hardy chuckle from the jury before they sentence you to death.  Given the option of leathal injection or the electric chair, you opt for the electric chair.  It's not that you're the kind of person to go the flashy route (pardon the pun), but more that you figure that if you have to go, then you're going to waste all that electricity in a futile attempt to hasten the onset of global warming.  As your smoking corpse is removed from the electric chair, someone in the audience bites into a jelly donut, unaware that it has been laced with psychotropic substances.

    Oh, also somewhere else somebody is careless and some bad text gets on VW's website.



  •  Looks a bit like someone wanted to paste some text common to several ads and happened to have the wrong contents in the clipboard. could not be delivered, please verify the address.



  • @bstorer said:

     It's more common than you'd think.  You're writing copy for two separate things in different windows, and you someone comes over the intercom to announce that there are donuts in the cafeteria.  So you stop what you're doing and rush to get a jelly-filled one before they're all taken, not realizing that you've bumped the mouse with your elbow.  When you return, you begin working again, not realizing that the donut was laced with psychotropic substances.  Later, as you're dragged out of the building for assaulting the janitor whom only you can see is truly the evil advisor of the octopus people.  On the way out, you kick over a potted plant in your struggle to escape the grasp of the blue demons trying to eat you.  The plant, recently watered despite being fake, spills water across the tile floor.  An account executive slips in the puddle and cracks his head open in the fall.  As the ambulance is taking him away, you return after kicking out the window of a police cruiser and fleeing.  Since your hands are cuffed behind your back, you find it terribly hard to weild the firearm you've stolen from one of the police officers.  Eventually, you settle on running backwards into a Krispy Kreme, firing blindly and screaming with rage.  Three people are killed in the massacre, and blood gets in the donut glazing machine, which isn't covered by Krispy Kreme's insurance, forcing the store to shut down.  Later, in your padded cell, you realize that the donuts were from Dunkin Donuts all along.  Boy does that get a hardy chuckle from the jury before they sentence you to death.  Given the option of leathal injection or the electric chair, you opt for the electric chair.  It's not that you're the kind of person to go the flashy route (pardon the pun), but more that you figure that if you have to go, then you're going to waste all that electricity in a futile attempt to hasten the onset of global warming.  As your smoking corpse is removed from the electric chair, someone in the audience bites into a jelly donut, unaware that it has been laced with psychotropic substances.

    Oh, also somewhere else somebody is careless and some bad text gets on VW's website.

     We have a term for that around here.  "Monday".



  • @bstorer said:

     It's more common than you'd think.  You're writing copy for two separate things in different windows, and you someone comes over the intercom to announce that there are donuts in the cafeteria.  So you stop what you're doing and rush to get a jelly-filled one before they're all taken, not realizing that you've bumped the mouse with your elbow.  When you return, you begin working again, not realizing that the donut was laced with psychotropic substances.  Later, as you're dragged out of the building for assaulting the janitor whom only you can see is truly the evil advisor of the octopus people.  On the way out, you kick over a potted plant in your struggle to escape the grasp of the blue demons trying to eat you.  The plant, recently watered despite being fake, spills water across the tile floor.  An account executive slips in the puddle and cracks his head open in the fall.  As the ambulance is taking him away, you return after kicking out the window of a police cruiser and fleeing.  Since your hands are cuffed behind your back, you find it terribly hard to weild the firearm you've stolen from one of the police officers.  Eventually, you settle on running backwards into a Krispy Kreme, firing blindly and screaming with rage.  Three people are killed in the massacre, and blood gets in the donut glazing machine, which isn't covered by Krispy Kreme's insurance, forcing the store to shut down.  Later, in your padded cell, you realize that the donuts were from Dunkin Donuts all along.  Boy does that get a hardy chuckle from the jury before they sentence you to death.  Given the option of leathal injection or the electric chair, you opt for the electric chair.  It's not that you're the kind of person to go the flashy route (pardon the pun), but more that you figure that if you have to go, then you're going to waste all that electricity in a futile attempt to hasten the onset of global warming.  As your smoking corpse is removed from the electric chair, someone in the audience bites into a jelly donut, unaware that it has been laced with psychotropic substances.

    Oh, also somewhere else somebody is careless and some bad text gets on VW's website.

     

    Damn, and I thought I'd had some bad days in my time...



  • E-mail copy?
    On my website?

    @bstorer said:

    It's more likely than you think.



  • @bstorer said:

    the janitor whom only you can see

    WHO! Dammit, people, you can't use WHO and WHOM interchangeably, and if you're not ABSOLUTELY SURE which one to use, use WHO!

    Get away from me, octopus people! Get away, I know tall people! I know very tall people!



  • @CDarklock said:

    @bstorer said:

    the janitor whom only you can see

    WHO! Dammit, people, you can't use WHO and WHOM interchangeably, and if you're not ABSOLUTELY SURE which one to use, use WHO!

    Actually, that's an artifact of a previous phrasing of the sentence wherein "whom" made sense.  Something along the lines of "the janitor whom you've outed as an octopus person".  I didn't think it properly captured the fact that you are crazy and he isn't really an octopus person, so I changed it.  There are a few similar errors in the text where I changed the phrasing but missed something (e.g., "as" earlier in the same sentence).  Those are the sort of error that I invariably notice right after the edit period has expired.  All I can do at that point is whistle nonchalantly and hope nobody else notices.  Thanks for noticing, jerk.


  • @bstorer said:

    Thanks for noticing, jerk.

    You're with the octopus people, too, aren't you? It's a conspiracy! They're trying to put m's on them end of all words that normallym havem vowels at them end... oh nom! They'rem winning!



  • @CDarklock said:

    @bstorer said:

    Thanks for noticing, jerk.

    You're with the octopus people, too, aren't you? It's a conspiracy! They're trying to put m's on them end of all words that normallym havem vowels at them end... oh nom! They'rem winning!

    Im havem absolutelym nom cluem whym youm arem som crazym.  Im guaranteem Im havem nom allegiancem tom them Worldwidem Octopim Alliancem tom Enslavem Humanitym. Im declarem them verym ideam tom bem falsem!  Whym dom youm trym tom defilem mym namem, tom neutralizem mem beforem Im managem tom exposem youm?  Toom latem! Im havem thinem truem namem, Princem Octom XXVIIm!


  • @bstorer said:

    Im havem thinem truem namem, Princem Octom XXVIIm!

    Damn! You are too clever for us naughty people.




  • I didn't realise 'Y' was a vowel



  • Y not?



  • @FMD said:

    I didn't realise 'Y' was a vowel
    It's not, unless you're Welsh, but it's treated as one under certain circumstances (such as pig latin.)



  • @PJH said:

    It's not

    Actually, it is. There is no case where the letter Y is used unambiguously as a consonant, and if you think you've found one, substitute an I for it - which is a definite vowel. The word sounds exactli the same; iou can't even tell the difference. Iou can even do the same yn reverse, demonstratyng quyte handyli that the two letters are perfectli ynterchangeable, and iet we styll ynsyst that yt's a consonant and nobodi realli knows whi.



  • @CDarklock said:

    iou can't even tell the difference
    You might not be able to.

    In fact you chose one of the instances there where it 'cannot be replaced'. Others being Yahoo, Yes, Yoghurt, and Yield, and any other word where it appears at the start of a word and has a 'yuh' sound.

     




  • @PJH said:

    @FMD said:

    I didn't realise 'Y' was a vowel
    It's not, unless you're Welsh, but it's treated as one under certain circumstances (such as pig latin.)

    I don't know where you came to this conclusion.  It's more often a vowel than a consonant in English, and is a vowel in every case I tacked an 'm' onto in the example above.  I could have really blown some minds if I had worked in a use of the of 'w' as a vowel.  Maybe next time...



  • @PJH said:

    In fact you chose one of the instances there where it 'cannot be replaced'.

    Pronounce the word "yoghurt" very slowly and evenly.

    Now, over the same amount of time, say the letter "E" and then "oghurt".

    Well, what do you know? It's the same word.

    The letter "i" can be, and in many languages is always, pronounced identically to the letter "E".

    So ies, iou can spell yt 'ioghurt'.

    And the "h" ysn't necessari, eyther.



  •  @CDarklock said:

    @bstorer said:

    Thanks for noticing, jerk.

    You're with the octopus people, too, aren't you? It's a conspiracy! They're trying to put m's on them end of all words that normallym havem vowels at them end... oh nom! They'rem winning!

    om nom nom nom


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