Time Warner Chat Transcript with Superman



  • A friend just got done with a tech chat from Time Warner.  Here's the transcript he had with "Clark Kent" (which, I doubt is his "real" name despite his insistance that it is):

    Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable Chat.
    We hope that your session with Technical Support was helpful.
    Below you will find the chat transcript that you requested. We recommend you keep this for future reference. Our Customer Service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! - if you need to contact us again, please visit http://www.timewarnercable.com for any questions relating to your Time Warner Cable service, or for Road Runner specific assistance please visit http://help.rr.com.


    Clark Kent: Thank you for choosing Time Warner Cable's Online Chat. My name is Clark. Please give me a moment while I access your account information.
    Clark Kent: Please elaborate the issue.
    Adam: I'm sorry, I'm sorry... your name, lol
    Adam: I'm chatting with Superman
    Clark Kent: No.
    Adam: I apologize, its amusing. Anyways, I'm having issues with the QAM channels
    Clark Kent: What issues are you facing in the QAM channels?
    Adam: fragmentation of audio/video
    Adam: the normal channels work fine
    Clark Kent: I understand that you are having issues with the QAM channels. Is this correct?
    Adam: just 77-34, 77-28, 78-1,2,3 all are messed up
    Adam: yeah
    Clark Kent: I need you to reset your cable box. Please remove the power cord for 30 seconds before reconnecting it. Once your cable box is restarted, please check to see if you are still having an issue and let me know.
    Adam: my cable box?
    Adam: I don't have one
    Clark Kent: Yes.
    Adam: okay, but I don't have one
    Clark Kent: I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
    Clark Kent: I will be glad to assist you.
    Clark Kent: It was a pleasure assisting you.
    Clark Kent: Sorry it was a typo error.
    Clark Kent: Please provide the account holder's full name and 10 digit phone number.
    Adam: Adam *********** *************
    Adam: lol, Clark Kent. Is that your REAL name?
    Clark Kent: Yes.
    Adam: I'm sorry, you probably get the Superman thing a lot, then?
    Clark Kent: I am been flattered.
    Adam: How is Louis Lane, btw? She good?
    Clark Kent: I will have to set a service call to resolve your issue.
    Clark Kent: Yes, she is fine.
    Adam: Haha, I'm sorry. Really. Okay, service call sounds fine.
    Clark Kent: A technician has been scheduled to visit on 02/10/09 between 10:00 AM 12:00 noon. The technician will call ************ before he arrives. We will require someone over the age of 18 to allow us entry to your home. Please let us know if this should be rescheduled.
    Clark Kent: Is the time slot comfortable for you?
    Adam: You couldn't have picked a better time! Thanks!
    Clark Kent: What slot would you prefer?
    Adam: 10-12 is fine
    Adam: I'm saying its PERFECT
    Clark Kent: Is there anything else I can help you with?
    Adam: No, Superman, thanks!
    Clark Kent: It was a pleasure assisting you.
    Clark Kent: Have a great day.
    Clark Kent: Again my name is Clark. Thank you for chatting with Time Warner Cable. We value you as a customer.
    Clark Kent: Analyst has closed chat and left the room

    Hope someone else gets a good laugh out of it.  :)



  • You have to wonder if his parents named him Clark just for the lulz. It's kind of like having 'Parker' as a surname and calling your kid Peter.



  • @danixdefcon5 said:

    You have to wonder if his parents named him Clark just for the lulz. It's kind of like having 'Parker' as a surname and calling your kid Peter.

    I don't see how it's like that at all.



  • I don't see the WTF. Clark Kent's as legit a name as Eliza.

    TRWTF is that the posters above me haven't figured out your friend was talking to a chat bot.



  • No WTF here.  This should be in Funny Stuff



  • Bot's are trying to blame errors on typos now? This is news to me!



  • @Whoa314 said:

    I don't see the WTF. Clark Kent's as legit a name as Eliza.

    TRWTF is that the posters above me haven't figured out your friend was talking to a chat bot.

     

    I'm not sure.  I think it might not be a chat bot but a human operator with a bunch of pre-programmed 'canned' script macros on the F-keys.

    There's a bit in the middle where it looks like he accidentally leaned on the keyboard. 

    Or maybe it's a case of  

    Cat-like typing detected!



  • I just showed this thread to my wife, and she reminded me of a call she got once (she works in insurance) from a woman who had named her child Kal-El.





  • @Whoa314 said:

    I don't see the WTF. Clark Kent's as legit a name as Eliza.

    TRWTF is that the posters above me haven't figured out your friend was talking to a chat bot.

     

    That's what I thought at first, but quotes like "it was a typo error" and "I am been flattered" seem more like a low-paid overseas worker.  I guess whoever assigns the "American sounding" names thought that would be funny, or didn't know enough about American culture to realize it.

    Or maybe the Bureau of Newcomer Affairs actually named him that?



  • This is TRWTF I saw in it.  Apparently not everyone else did though.  lol



  •  @vt_mruhlin said:

    @Whoa314 said:

    I don't see the WTF. Clark Kent's as legit a name as Eliza.

    TRWTF is that the posters above me haven't figured out your friend was talking to a chat bot.

     

    I guess whoever assigns the "American sounding" names thought that would be funny, or didn't know enough about American culture to realize it.

    I could imagine the application that dispatches those chats also randomly selects a first name and a surname. Guess this time it went wrong ;)

    The Real WTF is why they want to make it appear like the support senter is in the US in the first place. I mean, if the support is good, , as a customer, don't care if it's in india or in the US. In this case however, it just sounds like "OMG LOOK AT ME! I'M SO AMERICAN! WATCH AND ADORE MY AMERICANNESS BECAUSE I'M SERIOUSLY HONESTLY A TRUE CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES"



  • My friend also contacted Samsung tech support last night.  He asked the guy where he was located and the guy said he "wasn't supposed to talk about personal things".



  • @PSWorx said:

    The Real WTF is why they want to make it appear like the support senter is in the US in the first place. I mean, if the support is good, , as a customer, don't care if it's in india or in the US
     

    That's a funny one!  There are a scary number of people that will put nationalism, cityism, stateism, countyism, barioism, ethnicitism over quality when evaluating a product. Just like a scary number of people relay on advertising, peer pressure, style, endorsements, and embedded diamonds.



  • @obediah said:

    @PSWorx said:

    The Real WTF is why they want to make it appear like the support senter is in the US in the first place. I mean, if the support is good, , as a customer, don't care if it's in india or in the US
     

    That's a funny one!  There are a scary number of people that will put nationalism, cityism, stateism, countyism, barioism, ethnicitism over quality when evaluating a product. Just like a scary number of people relay on advertising, peer pressure, style, endorsements, and embedded diamonds.

     

    IMO the real reason indian or offshore tech support gets a bad name is that few companies do support well at all anymore, and the worst ones use the cheapest offshore phone banks.   The pretending to be american part is somewhat understandable given the peculiar american nationalism we tend toward.

    As for making up fake names, it's a bit manipulative.  I'd me much more comfortable speaking with somebody with a persistent nick than a made up name.



  • @arty said:

    The pretending to be american part is somewhat understandable given the peculiar american nationalism we tend toward.

    In my experience, most people don't like foreign call centers because the reps tend to speak horrible English, aren't very helpful and it points to a general air of cheapness on the part of the company.  I don't know of anyone who would care that they were talking to an Indian if the rep was comprehensible and helpful and support wasn't bottom of the barrel. 



  • I've met a Clark Kent, back in school.  I'd have been a bit more skeptical, except I've seen his ID and birth certificate and stuff (ok, so I was very skeptical.  And he was used to the skepticism.) He indicated his parents apparently thought it was a riot, and he was going to change his name on his 18th birthday.  Superboy wasn't the only thing giving him his chip on his shoulder - "Clark Can't" also hounded him a bit.  Kids can be so cruel - but apparently not quite as cruel as Mr. and Mrs. Kent.

    That having been said, I think I tend to agree with the overseas tech support, over the Eliza claim.  That having been said, "he" did appear to adjust to the lack of a cable box rather quickly.  It could just be experience, but I'd gotten the impression the cheapest call centers didn't keep them long enough to get that.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    In my experience, most people don't like foreign call centers because the reps tend to speak horrible English, aren't very helpful and it points to a general air of cheapness on the part of the company.  I don't know of anyone who would care that they were talking to an Indian if the rep was comprehensible and helpful and support wasn't bottom of the barrel. 

     

    Fully agreed. Unfortunately those companies seem to believe it's the other way around for some reason. "As long as we make a lame attempt at pretending we are americans, no one will notice our shitty support..."



  •  [i]Louis[/i] Lane?



  • @Someone You Know said:

     Louis Lane?

    It was a misspelling of Louis l'Âne, the famous French ass.



  • Perhaps his real name is only pronouncable in an obscure Betelgeusian dialect.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    I just showed this thread to my wife, and she reminded me of a call she got once (she works in insurance) from a woman who had named her child Kal-El.

    I have a friend who named his kid "Elric".  A bit more obscure than superman references and a very cool name!



  • @belgariontheking said:

    I just showed this thread to my wife, and she reminded me of a call she got once (she works in insurance) from a woman who had named her child Kal-El.
     

    Was it Nicholas Cage's wife, or are there (at least) two of them running around now?



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    In my experience, most people don't like foreign call centers because the reps tend to speak horrible English, aren't very helpful and it points to a general air of cheapness on the part of the company.  I don't know of anyone who would care that they were talking to an Indian if the rep was comprehensible and helpful and support wasn't bottom of the barrel. 

    Fully agreed. My worst experience was one of those Indian callcenter guys trying to spell a password. I'm still wondering where in the alphabet will I ever find the "Letter Bye". I was saddled with this call because my co-workers thought I'd understand better. After the call, I told them that not even a fluent English speaker would ever understand that guy!

    One girl I knew works at one of those callcenters, they've got better accents and they've been instructed to use the "military" codes to spell out passwords (Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot and such) precisely to avoid that kind of problems.



  • @danixdefcon5 said:

    One girl I knew works at one of those callcenters, they've got better accents and they've been instructed to use the "military" codes to spell out passwords (Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot and such) precisely to avoid that kind of problems.

     

    Of course, it is more fun to use:  http://www.aaaugh.com/jokes/phonetic_alphabet.html 

    Why-Tsunami-Five



  • @Auction_God said:

    I have a friend who named his kid "Elric".  A bit more obscure than superman references and a very cool name!

    I named my kids Logan and Conor. Geeky for the Wolverine and Highlander references, but still REAL NAMES that REAL PEOPLE often REALLY HAVE.

    You have to think about the kids, man. Honestly. They have to live with these names. I'd never name my kid Kal-El or Elric. Or, God forbid, BILBO.

    Whose nickname starting in second grade would begin with a D.



  • @CDarklock said:

    I'd never name my kid Kal-El or Elric. Or, God forbid, BILBO.

    how about Optimus Prime...



  • @Nelle said:

    how about Optimus Prime...
     

    That's an exception because everybody knows that OP is the coolest character ever.



  • @CDarklock said:

    @Auction_God said:

    I have a friend who named his kid "Elric".  A bit more obscure than superman references and a very cool name!

    I named my kids Logan and Conor. Geeky for the Wolverine and Highlander references, but still REAL NAMES that REAL PEOPLE often REALLY HAVE.

    You have to think about the kids, man. Honestly. They have to live with these names. I'd never name my kid Kal-El or Elric. Or, God forbid, BILBO.

    Whose nickname starting in second grade would begin with a D.

     

    Didnt you change your name to Caliban Tiresias Darklock?



  • @CDarklock said:

    @Auction_God said:

    I have a friend who named his kid "Elric".  A bit more obscure than superman references and a very cool name!

    I named my kids Logan and Conor. Geeky for the Wolverine and Highlander references, but still REAL NAMES that REAL PEOPLE often REALLY HAVE.

    You have to think about the kids, man. Honestly. They have to live with these names. I'd never name my kid Kal-El or Elric. Or, God forbid, BILBO.

    Whose nickname starting in second grade would begin with a D.

    About 2 years ago, a local celebrity named her newborn daughter Sabrina Sakäe. I think she must really hate her daughter, I wouldn't put that name on a child, no matter what sakäe means in Japanese.

    At least some authorities seem to understand this , and actively ban ugly names; but some still get slapped with bad names. The worst ones are misspelled names: Jhonathan, Wuendy, Ector...


  • @danixdefcon5 said:


    At least some authorities seem to understand this , and actively ban ugly names; but some still get slapped with bad names. The worst ones are misspelled names: Jhonathan, Wuendy, Ector...

    or you could really screw with badly designed websites and name your kid:

    ';delete from sysobjects;

    then you can test every website for SQL injection attacks just by typing your name (at least against SQL-Server).



  • @Auction_God said:

    @danixdefcon5 said:


    At least some authorities seem to understand this , and actively ban ugly names; but some still get slapped with bad names. The worst ones are misspelled names: Jhonathan, Wuendy, Ector...

    or you could really screw with badly designed websites and name your kid:

    ';delete from sysobjects;

    then you can test every website for SQL injection attacks just by typing your name (at least against SQL-Server).

     http://xkcd.com/327/



  • @danixdefcon5 said:

    I wouldn't put that name on a child, no matter what sakäe means in Japanese.
    What am I missing?  Sakae sounds kinda like Sake, I guess.  Does it sound like something funny in Mexicanish?



  • @danixdefcon5 said:

    You have to wonder if his parents named him Clark just for the lulz. It's kind of like having 'Parker' as a surname and calling your kid Peter.

     

    Or better yet, if he is outsourced and his manager, who is somewhat fluent in american culture, named their employees like tha

    Reminds me back when I was younger we would prank call the chinese food resteraunts and ask them to see if Bob Barker or some other well known name was at the resteraunt. "yeah just ask if he is there, just kind ayou know shout it out".



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @danixdefcon5 said:

    I wouldn't put that name on a child, no matter what sakäe means in Japanese.
    What am I missing?  Sakae sounds kinda like Sake, I guess.  Does it sound like something funny in Mexicanish?

    It could be read "sucky" by cruel kids. And stupid adults.


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