Refund Deliberashuns



  • <FONT face=Calibri size=3>A friend of mine related to me the story of his father, Leo, receiving an unneeded piece of software for Christmas. Leo sent an email to the company requesting a refund, to which he received a reply from a representative of the software company:</FONT>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Dear Leo,</FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>Thank you for your contact and your support to our product. The type of our software is shareware, so you can download and install it free of charge before deciding to purchase our software; it</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> is why we go to</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> great lengths to produce a trial version with which</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> customers can ensure</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> their satisfaction and system compatibility. </FONT></FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>In order to</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> avoid</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> misunderstanding happened to trial version, we only limit time while not </FONT> <FONT face=Calibri>function.</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> More important, refund will cause a lot of trouble to our</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> agents. So please</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> excuse us for refusing your refund request. Hope you can understand our</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri>position.</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> Thank you for your cooperation.</FONT> <FONT face=Calibri> </FONT></FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>Have a nice day,</FONT> </FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri> Lily M., SuchAndSuch Software Company</FONT></FONT>

    <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p><FONT face=Calibri size=3> </FONT></o:p>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Leo did not give up here, however. He had an idea:</FONT>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>I realized the person who responded to me from the company was not a native English speaker... My hypothesis was that if I mixed ungrammatical elements (that sounded like I was foreign too) with occasional idioms (very hard for foreigners to interpret) and sophisticated vocabulary (again, difficult for foreigners to grasp), and threw in a few intimidating terms (like CIA), I would get the best response mainly because my message was BOTH impenetrable AND a tad scary.</FONT>

    <o:p><FONT face=Calibri size=3> </FONT></o:p>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>The result of this epiphany was the following glorious email he sent to the software company:</FONT>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Dear Mr. Lily M,</FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>      A great many thank you for your responding with my request for a refund. I am apoplectic that you say you will not refund payment advanced by my card for a debit . Normal business proceduring to the contrary nothwithstanding, and in order to put a bee in your bonnet, I hereby am being regretful and vituperative in re: your existential deliberashuns. I am tempted to refer my own self to the CIA, Better Business Bureau and the most recently formed throng, the Byte-a-Digit ( formerly Digital Examination) Directorate for their advisements and abutments. </FONT></FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>      A million gratitudes for your cute-as-a-button riposte upon me. Pity that a  "refund will cause a lot of trouble to our agents" as you, Mr. Lily M., say with such wrinkly deposits. But as the old proverb says, "It takes a village to raise one child, but one child cannot raise a village or even his own self...at least until he's tall." Please keep this in mind as you reconnoiter my complainings.</FONT></FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>      Very truly yours, </FONT></FONT>

    <FONT size=3><FONT face=Calibri>      Leo LastName, Ed.D, M.Ed,. B.A.
          husband of Grace LastName</FONT>
    </FONT>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>PS- I do not understand your position (as you request) because I am not knowing where you are or what you are doing, what exact position are you in? Sitting? Standing? and etc. My position is seated now.</FONT>

    <o:p><FONT face=Calibri size=3> </FONT></o:p>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Lo and behold, shortly thereafter, a new message landed in Leo's inbox:</FONT>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Dear leo,</FONT>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Thank you for your contact and the information you provided.
     We have refunded your product and please check for this.</FONT>

    <o:p><FONT face=Calibri size=3> </FONT></o:p>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>He also received a confirmation from PayPal saying "Your PayPal payment has been refunded."</FONT>

    <o:p><FONT face=Calibri size=3> </FONT></o:p>

    <FONT face=Calibri size=3>Looks like a taste of their own medicine was all that was needed.</FONT>



  • He should not have received the money back.  He was being an arrogant douchebag.

    There is no excuse for treating people like that.



  • @moskie said:

    <font size="3" face="Calibri">I realized the person who responded to me from the company was not a native English speaker... My hypothesis was that if I mixed ungrammatical elements (that sounded like I was foreign too) with occasional idioms (very hard for foreigners to interpret) and sophisticated vocabulary (again, difficult for foreigners to grasp), and threw in a few intimidating terms (like CIA), I would get the best response mainly because my message was BOTH impenetrable AND a tad scary.</font>

    That guy is very strange.

    Did he ever talk to a non-native English speaker? I know it depends on a culture (there are some specific mistakes some nations make more often than others), but mixing lengthy explanations, stupid questions, misused idioms and proverbs in one mail is just lame.

    - Comparing his first message to the second one, you could probably see that he's just trying to sound like an idiot.
    - Maybe the company didn't want to deal with such a person any more and just refunded the payment to get rid of him?
    - Why does he assume that "foreigners" will like each other? If you assume you get any privileges from a random foreigner for being a foreigner from another random country, you should really look what's going on around you more often :(

    I read much worse texts from native English speakers before. One thing that comes to my mind after reading that mail is "Durka Durka Muhamed Jihad!". You just know that the text is fake. Leo's email is TRWTF...



  • @moskie said:

    A friend of mine related to me the story of his father, Leo, receiving an unneeded piece of software for Christmas. Leo sent an email to the company requesting a refund, to which he received a reply from a representative of the software company:

    ...

    He also received a confirmation from PayPal saying "Your PayPal payment has been refunded."

    So really, he didn't receive the unwanted software for Christmas, he bought it - since he received the PayPal refund email. Then acted like an ass to the poor CSR who is quite correct in saying that there's no reason they should offer a refund on "change-of-mind".



    Sorry, TRWTF is "Leo", not the software company.



  •  I, for one, found the story amusing. But

    								        Kyanar brings up a good point. </p>


  •  Thanks, merreborn, I agree. While I supposed there might have been some crotchedyness involved, I can look passed it and laugh at the WTF-ness of it. But lots of party-poopers here disagree!

     For the record, it was a gift from his wife, and they both use the same PayPal account.



  • @moskie said:

     lots of party-poopers here!

     

    The original email from the company was perfectly understandable English (if a little offish), and a far cry form the bad Engrish joke Leo played.

    I'm sorry, but I have little admiration for misguided, humorless, malexecuted attempts at being a "funny" ass, just to get a refund.

    You should have called Morbs, and let him write the email.

    That would have been funny.



  • @moskie said:

     For the record, it was a gift from his wife, and they both use the same PayPal account.
     

    I always make sure my wife knows my list of approved software and games so I never get unwanted stuff. Looks like Leo has some training to do.

    And I usually approve by using demo and trial software, so I sympathize with poor Lily here.


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