Tada... it's super-WTF time

  • Remember http://thedailywtf.com/forums/55426/ShowPost.aspx? The supposed PHP-HTML conversion app. Someone made a comment about how it looked like it was born from Visual DialogScript (dialogscript.com). And now I bring you the ugliness from the Dialogscript app itself!
    I wrote a simple app that pops up a dialog box from a button called "WTF". Read on below.

    Warning! Proceeding code may result in hurt eyes or a goggle prescription. Talk to my lawyer.

    Title WTF App
      DIALOG CREATE,New Dialog,-1,0,375,286
    REM *** Modified by Dialog Designer on 3/8/2006 - 18:17 ***
      DIALOG ADD,BUTTON,WTFButton,118,158,,,WTFButton
      DIALOG ADD,TEXT,wtfomg,54,109,,,nothing_can_have_spaces_in_it
      wait event
      goto @event()
      info WTF to the max! This program is uber retarded. This is somewhere in between basic, BAT files, and fortran.
      goto evloop
      info Replace this line with code to be executed before the dialog closes

    Some screenshots:

  • OMFG (Oh My Fucking GOTOs); we got to structured programming in the 1960s!

    Dialog Script Considered Hamrful!

  • It's worse than that.  It's a computed goto!  @event returns the event, which is turned into a label for goto.  Weird, spooky, and decidedly not good design.

  • I want to point out yet again the scariness of you not being able to put F*CKING SPACES in anything. Not even the text boxes. (O.o)

    "It's a flightless bird! It's a burning plane! No, it's DialogScript!" (aka superwtfretard thingy)

  • Good lord... have you looked at features they're touting the DialogScript website?!

    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2">The contents of all variables (including system ones) can be changed once the script is running.

    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2">Wow, now that's a feature that really sets this apart from other languages...

    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2">That's a total of 292 variables that you can use to manipulate all the information that you need to in your scripts.

    <font style="font-size: 12px; font-style: italic;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2">I'm sold. Good-bye, stupid limited Visual Basic!</font></font>
    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2">
    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2"></font></font><font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2">There is a version for 16-bit Windows but this
    version has certain limitations.

    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font face="Verdana" size="2">Maybe it can only support 291 variables or something.

    And my favourite, from the FAQ:

    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2">Question:</font>
    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2">
    When using the Application Wizard, the following message comes up when
    Dialog Designer is openew (sic): Cannot find the file c:\WINNT\ddfxres.exe
    (or one of its components)

    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size="2">Answer:</font>

  • In response to my own thread... quite interesting article here

  • @lgeekery said:

      DIALOG ADD,TEXT,wtfomg,54,109,,,nothing_can_have_spaces_in_it

    umm, that's some fine piece o code 😃

    My favourite comment to dialogscript comes from wikipedia:

    ... to create professional looking programs.

  • Take a look at the list of corporate users of Dialogscript:



  • Oooh... I'm in love.
    There is a whole website with a vibrant community of users of that thing.

    This is a fountain of WTF goodness.

    I found this little gem in the "advanced VDS code" section of the forums without even trying:

    found the nest, guys. Paula is surely hiding deeps in the center in
    this vile temple of WTFness, ruling over a sprawling army of WTF'd
    coders, slowly setting out to conquer the world.

  • Oh, and by the way the aforementioned website is here, for those eager to indulge themselves in hard core WTF lore: vdsworld.com

  • Run for your lives.


    The second file is frightening, but the third one scarred me for life. It's a design document from hell covering some advanced WTF technology: a database for VDS, using html4 tables as a storage format.
    The process of spawning these atrocities into existence actually involve a design process. They actually THINK prior the implementation.

  • Their clients? I'm worried now.

    - IBM (why?)
    - Xerox (I don't want that code near their copier department.)
    - AOL (Their built in browser feels like it was made with VDS)
    - USPS (My tax returns come through USPS! :/)
    - Ernst & Young (I don't want them to do my accounting for me, ever.)

  • http://forum.vdsworld.com/viewtopic.php?t=1860
    made me fear the dark.
    I felt a chill run down my spine.

  • @Ulvhamne said:


    Oh my giddy aunt.  There's good code, there's bad code, there's WTF code, and then there's - that.

    I sincerely hope I never have to approach that 'language'.  I'd rather program perl on a keyboard with no shift key.


  • From their site
    <font style="font-size: 12px;" face="Arial,Helvetica" size="2"><font style="font-size: 14px;" color="#990033" size="3"><font style="font-size: 14px;" color="#990033" size="3"><font style="font-size: 12px;" color="#cc3300" size="2"><font color="#cc9900">"Would you buy a car with no engine,
    wheels or interior?"
    I dont know whether they're talking about their own product or not. If they want to call it a car, they give us 100,000 reasons on why it is a car in the WTF place.

  • From the screenshots on the original post, it looks like the entire thing was written using VB6.

  • Wandering in that happy fun WTF land, it seems that it was written in delphi.
    It's apparently been written by one guy alone in Delphi, and the rights have been sold succesfully to several different companies through the years. But the developers is still the same guy.

    Apparently, those people are worried  for the future of that piece of crap because Borland is selling its development tools division.

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