This is the kind of stuff that keeps me coming to work



  • So another employee calls up my coworker here in the IS department. He wants to know - honest to god - how to put a picture in his voice mail.



  •  Sounds like how I might ask about sending image files via Skype, or possibly recording an answerphone message with webcam video, if I was only superficially familiar with the correct terminology and had yet to make coffee that morning.



  • @db2 said:

    how to put a picture in his voice mail.
    Simple.  Print it out and fax it.



  • @bstorer said:

    @db2 said:

    how to put a picture in his voice mail.
    Simple.  Print it out and fax it.

    If you set the voicemail to record the OGM and then do that, anyone who phones you up with a fax machine will get a picture of you!

     



  • Simple. Disassemble voice mail machine, insert photo, reassemble.



  • Just let him read out the colour values for each pixel loud.



  •  I work in support for a company that makes server based fax software.  One of the features is to attach a file to an email,  and fax the attachment

     I've been asked how to Fax an mpeg as well as access db's.  How does one fax a movie?



  • @farquat said:

    I've been asked how to Fax an mpeg as well as access db's.  How does one fax a movie?
     

    With those videophones every pulp sci-fi writer thought we'd have by now, presumably, though it'd probably sort of work if the person on the other end is using a program for receiving faxes on their PC. I could see myself trying this if I needed to send something really urgently and could remember my intended recipient's fax number but not their email address.



  • @DaveK said:

    @bstorer said:

    @db2 said:

    how to put a picture in his voice mail.
    Simple.  Print it out and fax it.

    If you set the voicemail to record the OGM and then do that, anyone who phones you up with a fax machine will get a picture of you!

     

    Would that actually work?  I want my voicemail to send back a page that says, in 72 point type, "THIS IS MY VOICE MAIL, NOT A FAX MACHINE, IDIOT".

    That'd be awesome.



  • @merreborn said:

    I want my voicemail to send back a page that says, in 72 point type, "THIS IS MY VOICE MAIL, NOT A FAX MACHINE, IDIOT".

    That'd be awesome.

    <voice mode="Dr. Who #10" comment="David Tennant, for you non-fans">YES!  That would be FANTASTIC!</voice>

    I'd especially like it if it could just sort of sit there in the background, and trigger on any fax call, regardless of whether I picked up the phone or not.  However, it would be pretty important for it to *not* play if the incoming call was *not* from a fax machine.



  • >How does one fax a movie?


    Frame for frame...

    And then the sound as spectrogram.



  • At least 25 pages per second x 60 s/min x 90 min = 135.000 pages. To add voice for a mere 22 kHz sampling rate simply add some 22.000 x 60 x 90 = 118.800.000 spectrograms. Add more pages for better sound quality.BTW, ask your reseller for a rebate.

     



  • Oh, you don't need a page per frequenz, probably one per second is enough => only 5400 pages.

    So 140 400 pages total, and if you print multiple pages per sheet, you come to 35100 pages.



  • @bugmenot1 said:

    Oh, you don't need a page per frequenz, probably one per second is enough => only 5400 pages.

    So 140 400 pages total, and if you print multiple pages per sheet, you come to 35100 pages.

    The fuck? A sampling rate of 1Hz would be utterly unintelligible. It'd be like trying to recreate the Mona Lisa in a 16 x 16 pixel icon.



  • Mona Lisa 16x16



  • Digital sound consists of distinct samples.  Using one page per sample would mean sending four bytes of data per page (for 16-bit stereo sound).  The good old way for film-based movies is to include the (analog) waveform of the audio track on the side of the film.  If we're willing to accept some loss of quality (hey, it's a fax machine, did you expect HD-quality video with Dolby DTS audio?), even several seconds of audio per page is reasonable.

    Alternatively, if using spectrograms, the frequency of data points can be much lower.  I'd imagine something like 100 spectrograms per second would be plenty.  Again, this is possible to fit on one page. 



  • @tdb said:

    (hey, it's a fax machine, did you expect HD-quality video with Dolby DTS audio?)

    Hey, just add the THX intro sound and they'll believe it's high quality audio! 😉



  • @Flatline said:

    A sampling rate of 1Hz would be utterly unintelligible. It'd be
    like trying to recreate the Mona Lisa in a 16 x 16 pixel icon.

    @RobFreundlich said:

    Mona Lisa 16x16

     

    He's right. I can't see the famous smile.

    That's a terrible scowl, though.



  • @tdb said:

    hey, it's a fax machine, did you expect HD-quality video with Dolby DTS audio?

     

    Maybe you don't but I have a 7.1 surround fax. Gives you something like a 360° view of a letter.

     


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