"Cell defender"



  • Have you ever wanted to "Earth the electromagnetic field that your phone generates when it's switched on" to "neutralise the disruptive effect the cellphone has on the electomagnetic field of your body"? No? Me neither. You'd need to snap off your cellphone's antenna, which would sort of defeat the purpose of having a cellphone:

     Sucker born every minute:

    http://www.eastwoodenterprises.co.nz/acatalog/buy_now.html



  • Of course such a website is bound to have a few WTFs. Such as the terms for shipping and handling on this page



  • @OzPeter said:

    Such as the terms for shipping and handling on this page
    You clearly aren't thinking of returning your purchase then?



  • @Lamah said:

    Have you ever wanted to "Earth the electromagnetic field that your phone generates when it's switched on" to "neutralise the disruptive effect the cellphone has on the electomagnetic field of your body"? No? Me neither. You'd need to snap off your cellphone's antenna, which would sort of defeat the purpose of having a cellphone:

     Sucker born every minute:

    http://www.eastwoodenterprises.co.nz/acatalog/buy_now.html

    It's rare something on the internet annoys me so much I actually muster up the motivation to actually do something about it but this is one of those cases. I've sent them an email querying the veracity of their 'research', also pointing out a few misconceptions regarding basic physics. It's politely worded and not once accesses them of being bullshit merchants but I rather suspect the response will be less than cordial.



  •  Given the pictures they show, I wonder if this product is not just a metal card that you put on top of your battery...at NZ$25 I nearly want to buy it to find out.. :)



  • I bought one and I have to say I don't regret it.  My body's electrochemistry has never felt better.



  • @Lamah said:

     Given the pictures they show, I wonder if this product is not just a metal card that you put on top of your battery...at NZ$25 I nearly want to buy it to find out.. :)

    Au contraire, mon ami. The product is actually made of CARDBOARD. Which is apparently programmed to absorb the electromagnetic field that might otherwise harm the user. Apparently it can last for up to two years, but less if you're a heavy user.



  • @Lamah said:

     Given the pictures they show, I wonder if this product is not just a metal card that you put on top of your battery...at NZ$25 I nearly want to buy it to find out.. :)

    Not metal, as they say it's genuine cardboard.  Specially programmed though, so that's ok.



  • @PJH said:

    @OzPeter said:

    Such as the terms for shipping and handling on this page
    You clearly aren't thinking of returning your purchase then?

    Actually I was thinking more along the lines that my shipping and handling terms would have the Cell Defender delivered in the glove compartment of a Ferrari, driven by the person of my choice. And that I get to keep all of the packaging.



  • Don't use it if your drunk or pregnant or both and don't throw it on your wive.



  •  Sheesh.. what kind of nutjob uses this stuff? I would never resort to this. I have my tinfoil suit.



  • @upsidedowncreature said:

    Not metal, as they say it's genuine cardboard.  Specially programmed though, so that's ok.

     

    Cardboard can be programmed?  Does that mean I could install Linux on my old FedEx box?



  • As far as I care, people who buy things like this deserve what they get. I'm wondering how I could become a distributor myself. It is obviously worthless, but as long as you're honest about that, you remain legal, and people will still buy it. They buy bottled water that makes all kinds of weird claims - this is no different.



  • @jasmine2501 said:

    As far as I care, people who buy things like this deserve what they get. I'm wondering how I could become a distributor myself. It is obviously worthless, but as long as you're honest about that, you remain legal, and people will still buy it. They buy bottled water that makes all kinds of weird claims - this is no different.
    They're not being particularly honest.  Sure, they don't say straight-out that "using this product with your cellphone will reduce your risk of cancer", but it's close enough (if you look at the additional "information").

    Sure, I'd love it if more people knew a bit more basic physics.  Doesn't mean I think they deserve to lose their money when they don't know a Faraday's cage from a hole in the ground...



  • @Monkios said:

    Don't use it if your drunk or pregnant or both and don't throw it on your wive.

    Where's the French version? The law is law.



  • @jasmine2501 said:

    As far as I care, people who buy things like this deserve what they get.

    But people who sell things like that do NOT deserve what they get in return.



  • You seem to dismiss the effectiveness of this product.  Are you really denying that if I use it, the EMF won't harm me?



  • @MiffTheFox said:

    Cardboard can be programmed?  Does that mean I could install Linux on my old FedEx box?

    Hell yes, Linux will run on much lower spec hardware than M$ Windoze and because it's open source there are teams around the globe working on ports to non-silicon based platforms.

    I'm working on the feline port of Debian, don't let on to this lot though.



  • @AssimilatedByBorg said:

    @jasmine2501 said:

    As far as I care, people who buy things like this deserve what they get. I'm wondering how I could become a distributor myself. It is obviously worthless, but as long as you're honest about that, you remain legal, and people will still buy it. They buy bottled water that makes all kinds of weird claims - this is no different.
    They're not being particularly honest.  Sure, they don't say straight-out that "using this product with your cellphone will reduce your risk of cancer", but it's close enough (if you look at the additional "information").

    I like the way they're trying to have their cake and eat it with the disclaimer...

    @http://www.eastwoodenterprises.co.nz/acatalog/info.html said:

    The Cell Defender card is an aid to health and is not intended as a treatment,remedy,cure or to prevent any illness.

    Got that?  It's an aid to health, not a treatment, remedy, cure or preventative.  Then again ...

    @http://www.eastwoodenterprises.co.nz/acatalog/info_research.html said:

    We have a choice for our health,and Cell Defender is an aid and a start to this possible cellphone epidemic in the future.

    ... WTF?!  They reckon their card is going to start the epidemic?  Holy crap, we gotta stop them!



  • @upsidedowncreature said:

    @MiffTheFox said:

    Cardboard can be programmed?  Does that mean I could install Linux on my old FedEx box?

    Hell yes, Linux will run on much lower spec hardware than M$ Windoze and because it's open source there are teams around the globe working on ports to non-silicon based platforms.

    I'm working on the feline port of Debian, don't let on to this lot though.

     

     Hahahahaha, nice.  There is nothing funnier than dead cats, except maybe dead monkeys.



  •  Its a bit of cardboard.  I bought one and then bought an emf meter.  There is no difference in the reading when it is in or out of the phone.



  • Poor bunny :(



  • @derula said:

    Poor bunny :(



    Not if it's the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog




  • @MiffTheFox said:

    @upsidedowncreature said:
    Not metal, as they say it's genuine cardboard.  Specially programmed though, so that's ok.
    Cardboard can be programmed?  Does that mean I could install Linux on my old FedEx box?
    But does it use a quantum physical information wave to cancel out cell phone radiation like E-waves does?



  • @upsidedowncreature said:

    @MiffTheFox said:

    Cardboard can be programmed?  Does that mean I could install Linux on my old FedEx box?

    Hell yes, Linux will run on much lower spec hardware than M$ Windoze and because it's open source there are teams around the globe working on ports to non-silicon based platforms.

    I'm working on the feline port of Debian, don't let on to this lot though.

    Not to mention that M$ is a CONVICTED MONOPOLIST.  They just spread Cat FUD to keep up their market share.


  •  2008 called. They want their thread back.



  • @DOA said:

    2008 called. They want their thread back.

    Hey, while you have 2008 on the phone can you ask for Morbius Wilters and tell him to short AIG and Lehman Brothers starting this time last year?  Thanks!



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Hey, while you have 2008 on the phone can you ask for Morbius Wilters and tell him to short AIG and Lehman Brothers starting this time last year?  Thanks!
    We tried, but when we told him that Future Morbs was on the line he just called you a dick and walked away.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.