Daily WTF Birthday WTF



  • Today is the last day I am -1 years old:

    http://forums.thedailywtf.com/members/Benanov.aspx


    I understand letting people putting in any day they want...

    But in the future?

    Also laws in the US exist concerning storing and sharing information about people who are < 13 years old. Maybe thedailywtf is exempt because it's not targetted at children.

    (I'm a little older than 13.)



  • @Benanov said:

    Today is the last day I am -1 years old:

    http://forums.thedailywtf.com/members/Benanov.aspx

    That's nothing.  I'm 101 years old.

    Maybe they're allowing for someone to create an account for their unborn child?



  • But it isn't healthy to be unborn that long!



  • @henke37 said:

    But it isn't healthy to be unborn that long!
     

     

    The Real WTF™ would be someone taking their health-care advice from this forum software. 



  • @sibtrag said:

    @henke37 said:

    But it isn't healthy to be unborn that long!

    The Real WTF™ would be someone taking their health-care advice from this forum software. 

    Doctor Wilters ® Good-Time Medicalogical Almanack™, 2008 Edition

    • In the case of a bleeding wound, 140 proof whiskey can be used to prevent infection.  In cases of a severe wounding, follow up with a lit match to cauterize the flesh.
    • Menstrual cycles are a sign of demonic possession.  However, medicalogical science has shown that 140 proof whiskey can be used to exorcise demons.  It is advised that you restrain an immigrant nearby so that the demon has someone else to possess; otherwise, you must maintain a constant infusion of whiskey to prevent repossession.  Once the demon has been trapped in the immigrant, tie him to concrete cinder blocks and throw him into a river, thereby permanently imprisoning the demon in his deceased immigrant body.
    • Avian bird flu is caused by avian birds.  Thus, it can be conquered by the systematic destruction of all avian birds.  Likewise, SARS (Southeast Asian Respiratory Sickness) is caused by Southeast Asians and can be conquered using the same methodology.  It is recommended that the heroic deeds of the Extermination Brigades be commemorated in lyrical song and with the the imbibing of 140 proof whiskey.
    • [Redacted after threat of lawsuit from the Anti-Defamation League.]
      • They also make a stunning lampshade which will surely be the centerpiece of your otherwise dreary, lachrymose domicile.
    • Upon expiration of life, the cadaver should be drained of all blood and the veins filled with a mixture of 140 proof whiskey and buttermilk.  The whiskey guarantees that if the deceased is buried alive, that they will have the strength and vitality to burst forth from their subterranean confinement.  The buttermilk helps preserve skin and nails and lends a healthy sheen to the hair, allowing the deceased to look their finest whilst erupting from their earthen incarceration much to the shock of funeral-goers and much to the chagrin of the funerary-roustabout.
    • Children often feign illness to avoid chores, schoolwork and religious obligations.  To determine if your child is actually ill, force them to continue their daily routine until they collapse from exhaustion and expire upon the floor.  Then when the sibling responsible for burying their corpse complains of illness, you know for certain that they aren't pulling your leg.  At this point you may dispense 140 proof whiskey to the child.  Keep in mind that children contain more youth-ase (an essential enzyme for youthfulness and vitality) than adults, thus they require a much higher dose of whiskey to attain the same effect.  It is also recommended that you feed your child plenty of cheese curd and boiled cow's tongue while periodically lifting them upon your shoulders and spinning them around rapidly; this helps circulate the whiskey.  Please note that vomiting is a sign of demonic possession.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Doctor Wilters ® Good-Time Medicalogical Almanack™, 2008 Edition
    God bless you, sir.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Doctor Wilters ® Good-Time Medicalogical Almanack™, 2008 Edition
     

    A brillant piece of writing, good Doctor.  Where can I get a hard copy, and how many bottles of whiskey will it cost?



  • @Benanov said:

    Today is the last day I am -1 years old

    That's nothing! I'm -30 years old on this forum, while on a bunch of others, I'm closer to 107 years old. Take that, age-based restrictions!

     Ten minutes ago, my birthday was <null>. I'm not sure whether allowing the birthday field to be changed is a WTF or not.



  • @LightningDragon said:

    Filed under: NOT_A_WTF_JUST_A_CURIOUS_QUERY_YOUR_SHOULD_READ_BETTER_QUESTIONS__AM_IRONIC__OMG_THIS_TAGS_SEEMS_A_BIT_LONG_NOW_IT_S_LATE_NEED_SOME_SLEEP_BECAUSE_I_WAKE_UP_EARLY_AND_WILL_REGRET_TOMORROW_THIS_TAG_ABUSE__OMG_HOW_LONG_CAN_IT_BE?, ☀☁☂☃☄★☆☇☈☉☊☋☌☍☎☏ ☐☑☒☓☔☕☖☗☘☙☚☛☜☝☞☟ ☠☡☢☣☤☥☦☧☨☩☪☫☬☭☮☯ ☰☱☲☳☴☵☶☷☸☹☺☻☼☽☾☿ 0♀♁♂♃♄♅♆♇♈♉♊♋♌♍♎♏♐♑ ♒♓♔♕♖♗♘♙♚♛♜♝♞♟♠♡♢♣♤♥♦♧♨♩♪♫♬♭♮♯, ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Smart and funny tag including SQL statements that would DROP TABLE threads IF EXISTS and CommunityServer was effected by SQL injections which I'm sure it is at some point but not if you simply include it into the tag. That would be just too stupid., caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz caz, My previous job? CEO of a subprime mortgage broker where I made $87M/year in salary alone. Don't bother asking the name of the broker as it has long since gone under and taken with it the endowments of several charities that were heavily invested., 100% grade A tag abuse, Let's see if we can make the list of tags longer than the post!, </CouldntResistTheTaggage>



  • @Benanov said:

    Today is the last day I am -1 years old:

     

     Happy first un-birthday!


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