Please specify your reason for absence...



  • The software my employer uses for booking holidays has recently been "upgraded" and we now need to specify an absence reason:

     WTF?

    Here's a full listing of the available options:

    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Abortion /
      Termination
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Absecess / Ulcer of Nose</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Achilles Tendon</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Acne</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Alcohol
      Abuse
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Alopecia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Alzheimer's</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Amputation of
      Toe
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Anaemia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Angina</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ankylosing Spondylitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Annual Leave</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Anorexia
      Nervosa
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Anxiety</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Aortic Aneurysm</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Appendicitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Arthropathy</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Artial
      Fibrillation
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Assaulted</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Asthma</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Authorised Absence</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Authorised day off
      (flex)
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Authorised Sabatical Leave</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Back Pain</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Balanitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bartholin
      Cyst
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bell's Palsy</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Benign/malignant cancer
      tumour
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bite</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bleeding</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bleeding in Pregnancy</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Breast Disease /
      Lump
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bronchitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Bulimia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Burn</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">CA
      Ovary
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cataract</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cellulitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cervical Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cervical Root
      Pain
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Chest Infection</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Chest Pains</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Chickenpox</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cholycystitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cold /
      Flu
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Compartment Syndrome</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Compassionate</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Concussion</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cond affecting
      lung /throat
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Condition Aff Brian / Spine</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Congestive Heart
      Failure
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Conjunctivitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Corneal Abrasion / Ulcer</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cough</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Crohn's
      Disease
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">CVA / Stroke</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Cysitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Debility / General Debility</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Decreased
      Foetal movements
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dementia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dental Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dependants
      Leave
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Depression</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dermatitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Detachment from
      Reality
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Diabetes</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Diabetes Retinopathy</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Diarrhoea</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Disc
      Problems
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Disease of Heart Valve</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Disease of white blood
      cells
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dislocation</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dizziness</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Drug Abuse / Dependance</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Dyspepsia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ear
      Infection
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">ECG</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ectopic
      Pregnancy
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Eczema</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Emphysema</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Endometriosis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Epilepsy</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Eustachian
      Salpingitis
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Exhaustion</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Eye Burn</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Faint</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Fatigue</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Fever /
      Temperature
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Fibroadenosis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Flu Like Illness</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Food Poisioning</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Foot
      Operation / Surgery
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Foreign Body</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Fracture / Broken
      Bones
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Funeral</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Gall Bladder Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ganglion (Upper
      Limbs)
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Gastritis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Gastro-Enteritis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">General Symptoms</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Gestational
      Hypertension
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Glaucoma</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Glomerulonephritis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Gout</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Grief
      Reaction
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Gynaecological</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">H</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Haemorrhagic
      Conditions
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Haemorrhoids</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hand/Wrist</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hayfever</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Head
      Injury
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Headache</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hearing Loss</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Heart Arteries and Vein Condit</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Heart
      Attack
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hernia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">HIV</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hodgkin's</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Holiday</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Holiday following paternity
      le
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hospital Appointment</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hydrocele</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hyper /
      Hypertension
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hyperemisis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Hysteria</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">IBS</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ill</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Impetigo</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Inability
      to cope
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Infertility Probs &
      Treatment
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Influenza</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Insomnia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Intervertebral Disc Disorders</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ischaemic
      Bowel Disease
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ischaemic Heart Disease</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Jury Service</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Kidney
      Disease
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Kidneys, bladder, Sexual
      Organ
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Kyphosis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Labytrinthitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Laparosopic
      Surgery
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Laryngitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Leukaemia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Liver Pancr gland prod hormone</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Malaise
      Encephalitic
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Manic Depression</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Mastitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Maternity
      Leave
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Measles</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Meningitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Menstruation Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Migraine</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Multiple
      Sclerosis
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Mumps</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Myalia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Myocardial Infection</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Nail Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Nausea
      / Vomiting
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Nervous Debility</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Nervous Exhaustion</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Obsessive Compulsive
      Disorder
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Obstructive Sleep Apnoea</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Oral / Tongue
      Problems
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Orchitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Osteo / Rheumatiod Arth</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Osteo/Rheumatoid
      Arthritis
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Osteoarthritis - Back</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Other Derangement of Joint</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Other Dis of
      Cervical Region
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Other Unspecified - Back</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Otitis Externa / Media</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ovarian
      Hyperstimulation Syndr
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pain</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Panic Disorder</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Parkinson's
      Disease
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Paternity Leave</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pelvic</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pelvic Inflammatory Disease</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pelvic(F
      Only) C Mskele other
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pending Specialist</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Peptic Ulcer</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Personality
      Disorder
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pharyngitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Phobia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Placenta
      Previa
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pleurisy</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pneumonia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pneumothorax</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Poisoning</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Poor Mental
      Health - bereaveme
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Post Natal Depression</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Post Op Debility</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Post Op Wound
      Infection
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Post viral
      syndrome
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pre-eclampsia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Psoriasis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Psychosis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Public
      Service
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pulmonary Fibrosis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pulmonery
      Oedema
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Pyelonephritis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rash</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Reaction to Medication</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rectal
      Problems
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Renal Colic</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Renal Disease / Failure</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Retinal
      Disorders
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rheumatic Heart Disease</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rhinitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rib Injury</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rosacea</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">RTA
      (Road Traffic Accident)
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Rubella</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">S13 Cervical Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">S19 Foreign
      Body
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">S20 Pain</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Salmonella</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Scabies</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Schizophrenia</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sciatic
      Pain
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Scoliosis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Seasonal Affective Disorder</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sebcaceous
      Cyst
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Shingles</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Shock</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Shoulder Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sickle Cell Trait /
      Anaemia
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sickness</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sinusitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Situational Crisis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sore Throat</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sprain
      / Strain
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Stitches</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Stomach Mouth Gut Bowl Conditi</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Stomach
      Ulcer
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Stomach Upset / Bug</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Strep Throat</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Stress</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Study
      Leave
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Stye</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Sunburn</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Surgery - Thumb</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Swollen
      Glands
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Tenosynovitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Threatened abortion</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Thrombophlebitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Thyroid
      Problems
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Tonsil / Adenoid Problems</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Transient Ischaemic Attack
      TIA
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Trauma</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Tremor</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Ulcertative Colitis</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Urethroplesty</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">URTI Upper
      Respiratory Tract
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">UTI (Urinary Tract Infection)</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Uticaria</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Varicose Veins
      Ulcer Inflammat
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Vertigo</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Viral Illness</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Visual Disturbance /
      Loss
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Vomiting</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Warts</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Water
      Infection
      </font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Wax</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Whiplash</font>
    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Wound</font>

     

    Of the many WTFs, the Real WTF is that this form is only ever used for booking annual leave (holiday/vacation), never any other type of absence, including illness.



  • My favorites here are "H" (japanese porn?), "III" (exposure to roman numerals?) and the nicely generic "wound".



  • Just pick 'H' every time, and dare them to prove you don't suffer from H.



  •  Absense due to warts?   Maybe if you are a model ?



  •  What? no multiple select? that forms sux.



  • Yeah, I can't come in today, I've got this terrible pain in my S20...



  • Surgery - Thumb

    No other kinds of surgery are allowed! You are permitted to get your thumb amputated or reattached only!



  •  Wax?

    An injury from wax, or do you suffer from wax?



  • My favorite's mastitis.  Can't really put my finger on why, but I'm definitely going to miss a few days due to that next week.

     

     

     

     

     

    (Quite aware what it means. You can stop dipping your cursor in acid.)



  • @Welbog said:

    Surgery - Thumb
    No other kinds of surgery are allowed! You are permitted to get your thumb amputated or reattached only!

    Don't forget splinter removal!



  • @BlueKnot said:

    Don't forget splinter removal!

    I'm sorry. That's not on the list. You'll have to file this under "wound".



  • Reason for Absence: "Detachment from Reality"

    Notes: "Applies to management, not employee. See also: Personality Disorder"



  • <FONT size=2>

    Foreign Body

    See also: Asian girlfriend</FONT>


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @BlueKnot said:

    "III" (exposure to roman numerals?)

    That's "<font face="Arial" size="2">Ill"  as in I L L with the Ls in lowercase.</font>  Good ol' Sans Serif fonts where you can't tell the difference between I and l.



  • @chrisb said:

    Holiday following paternity
    le
     

    ups, VARCHAR(30)

    @chrisb said:

    Disc
    Problems

    do bad sectors count ?? 



  • Was a bit confused at first when I saw "Compassionate" - I suppose that [i]could[/i] be considered a problem among upper management.

    Naturally, a dictionary then revealed to me the proper meaning. Damn it, options actually making sense.

    @bohica61 said:

    Reason for Absence: "Detachment from Reality"

    Notes: "Applies to management, not employee. See also: Personality Disorder"

    Also, "Inability to cope".



  • <font size="2" face="Arial">Abortion /
    Termination

    </font>Geeze, boss, I'm gonna have to take a long vacation. I've been targeted for TERMINATION!



  • @chrisb said:

    Obsessive Compulsive
    Disorder
     

    Dude ... I absolutely have to be absent every day! 



  • @danixdefcon5 said:

    <font size="2" face="Arial">Abortion /
    Termination
    </font>
     

    See, now I would use that every Friday and make a big fuss if they tried to argue.



  • When I see drop downs like that, I always look at the source to see what kind of <select> it is. If it's just plain text options (not ID numbers), you can likely enter your own names using an editor (Firebug, for instance).

    Change it to <option value="You can't legally ask these questions"> and submit it.



  • @chrisb said:

    The software my employer uses for booking holidays has recently been "upgraded" and we now need to specify an absence reason:

     [ . . . ] 

    Here's a full listing of the available options:

    • <font face="Arial" size="2">Alcohol
      Abuse
      </font>

     

    Dude, you get to take days off for Alcohol Abuse?  I wanna work where you work! 

    @chrisb said:

    • <font face="Arial" size="2">Wax</font>

     

    >;-)  Oh, we could have fun with that one...

    @boss said:

    Did you apply for a week off work for reasons of "Wax"?

    @employee said:

    Pardon?

    @boss said:

    I said, did you apply for a week off work owing to reasons of "Wax"?

    @employee said:

    Pardon?

    @boss said:

    I said, ...

    @employee said:

    Pardon?

    .. oh, forget it.  See you in seven days. 

    <walks off>

     



  •  Genital Warts are a very unfortunate affliction. When you have a flare up, you may as well be out because someone set your genitals on fire, and you are suffering 3rd degree burns.



  • I rather like that this is the form that is for future leaves to be scheduled/approved, not just reporting leaves in general...

     Me: 
    I need all of next week off.  Monday I plan to be be assaulted,
    and then I'll have appendicitis Tuesday through Thursday, and finish
    with manic depression on Friday.

     Boss:  Well, I can
    approve the assault and the manic depression, but we need you here to
    meet with clients on Tuesday and Wednesday, so you can only have one
    day of appendicitis.



  • It's been a long time since I've laughed till I cried.

    This thread needs to be on the front page.

    EDIT: ok, just the OP then..



  •  "Inability to Cope"

     'nuff said.

     



  • So....

     If I shot myself in the eye with a flooring nailer, would that be:

    <FONT size=2>Nail Problems
    Visual Disturbance / Loss</FONT>
    <FONT size=2>
    Wound
    Head Injury
    or
    Pain.</FONT>

    <FONT size=2>(And I suppose if I was in jail for doing the same thing to Rosie O'Donnell it would be "Public Service"?)</FONT>



  • I'll take "H" for $100 please, Alex.



  • I think my favorite is "<font face="Arial" size="2">Kidneys, bladder, Sexual
    Organ".  Whether it is the random capitalization, the lumping together of the three or use of the term "sexual organ", I'm not sure.
    </font>



  • @bstorer said:

    Just pick 'H' every time, and dare them to prove you don't suffer from H.
     

    This can be accomplished with little Preparation.



  •  I am surprised that this inquiry in your very personal matters doesn't violate any privacy laws in your country...



  • The issue I see here, and possibly "the real WTF", is that I'm pretty sure it's illegal to ask why someone needs to take sick leave in the first place.



  • @chrisb said:

    <font size="2" face="Arial">Eye Burn</font>

    Ow.



  • Where I come from, H is short for Heroin, so you might not want to put that as a reason for sick leave... 



  • @DoubleFelix said:

    @chrisb said:

    <FONT size="2" face="Arial">Eye Burn</FONT>

    Ow.

    What, the goggles do nothing?



  • <font size="2"><font face="Arial">... Sunburn... ? Would you take a week of to get sunburn or to cure your sunburn?</font></font>



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    I think my favorite is "<font size="2" face="Arial">Kidneys, bladder, Sexual
    Organ".  Whether it is the random capitalization, the lumping together of the three or use of the term "sexual organ", I'm not sure.
    </font>

     

    Dude, you are totally missing out on the heaven that is kidney stimulation. Srsly.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    <font size="2" face="Arial">...or use of the term "sexual organ", I'm not sure.</font>
     

    My wife just LOVES to play the organ



  •  I think whoever wrote this form was suffering from:

    • <font size="2" face="Arial">Detachment from
      Reality
      </font>



  • I have terminal alopecia.



  • @operagost said:

    I have terminal alopecia.

    Speaking of which: where's synophrys? You might as well put add that.

    Also, "Hyper / Hypertension" reminds me of "up, up and away", not to mention Hungry Hungry Hippos of course.



  • "<font size="2" face="Arial">Detachment from
    Reality"
    </font>

     

    Are they just waiting for some dumbass to actually select this so they can terminate them?  



  • @amischiefr said:

    "<font face="Arial" size="2">Detachment from
    Reality"
    </font>

     

    Are they just waiting for some dumbass to actually select this so they can terminate them?  

     

     Disassociative episodes actually occurs as a medical condition, usually in people with anxiety/depression.  It causes you to be in a dream-like state, with your thoughts detached from your actions.

     Of course, if you're experiencing disassociation, you're probably not capable of requesting off.  You'll be internally screaming at yourself to click submit, but for some reason your body just keeps trying to cover up the fact that you're back in school in only your boxers.




  • TRWTF is that it's a combo box and not a multi-select list. What if I have both Eustachian Salpingitis and Nail Problems?



  • @ebs2002 said:

    Disassociative episodes actually occurs as a medical condition, usually in people with anxiety/depression.  It causes you to be in a dream-like state, with your thoughts detached from your actions.

    Of course, if you're experiencing disassociation, you're probably not capable of requesting off.  You'll be internally screaming at yourself to click submit, but for some reason your body just keeps trying to cover up the fact that you're back in school in only your boxers.

    "Dissociative".  You're talking about depersonalization disorders which are only really a subset of dissociative disorders.  Also, "detachment from reality" is broad enough it can encompass other diagnoses.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    "Dissociative".  You're talking about depersonalization disorders which are only really a subset of dissociative disorders.  Also, "detachment from reality" is broad enough it can encompass other diagnoses.

    This informative and educational post is exactly the kind of trolling I've come to expect from you and those of your ilk.  I am deeply personally offended, and I call upon the powers of Jeff to have you banished to the pit of banned-ness.  Have you written any books we could burn?

     



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @ebs2002 said:

    Disassociative episodes actually occurs as a medical condition, usually in people with anxiety/depression.  It causes you to be in a dream-like state, with your thoughts detached from your actions.

    Of course, if you're experiencing disassociation, you're probably not capable of requesting off.  You'll be internally screaming at yourself to click submit, but for some reason your body just keeps trying to cover up the fact that you're back in school in only your boxers.

    "Dissociative".  You're talking about depersonalization disorders which are only really a subset of dissociative disorders.  Also, "detachment from reality" is broad enough it can encompass other diagnoses.

    It's also a bit of a slap-in-the-face: [i]"We don't think it's a [/i][b]real[/b][i] illness so we'll make you pick this cutesy, non-medical name. Now if you'll excuse me, I have three people with Schizophrenia to deal with..."[/i]



  • @upsidedowncreature said:

    This informative and educational post is exactly the kind of trolling I've come to expect from you and those of your ilk.

    :-O

     

    @upsidedowncreature said:

    I am deeply personally offended, and I call upon the powers of Jeff to have you banished to the pit of banned-ness.

    :`-(

     

    @upsidedowncreature said:

    Have you written any books we could burn?

    Just one.  It's called The Koran.  Go burn some copies.  Very publicly.



  • @BlueKnot said:

    It's also a bit of a slap-in-the-face: "We don't think it's a real illness so we'll make you pick this cutesy, non-medical name. Now if you'll excuse me, I have three people with Schizophrenia to deal with..."

    I never really took it that way at all.  "Detachment from reality" actually sounds a little bit more terrifying than something clinical like "dissociative" or "schizophrenic". 



  •  I laughed so hard my stomach hurts.  Great stuff.

     I like 'vertigo'.  "Sorry, I'm feeling a little scared of heights today, I can't come in..."



  • <font size="2" face="Arial">"Amputation of
    Toe" ... Brilliant!
    </font>

    Did they just copy the most recent 100 illnesses from some hospital list?



  • @Nozz said:

     I laughed so hard my stomach hurts.  Great stuff.

    More specific please:

    • <FONT face=Arial size=2>Stomach Mouth Gut Bowl Conditi</FONT>
    • <FONT face=Arial size=2>Stomach Ulcer</FONT>
    • <FONT face=Arial size=2>Stomach Upset / Bug</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial size=2>You might also be suffering from Disconnected-Ass-Due-To-Laughing Syndrome which might have similar causes.</FONT>

    <FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> 


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