Not suspicious





  • Who's doing the investigation? The police chief from the Simpsons?



  •  Holy crap.  This must be a joke.



  • "Thirty-seven stab wounds to the back. Worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."



  •  I don't think this is a WTF.  Could just be a bad tree cutting accident.



  • @TheDude said:

     I don't think this is a WTF.  Could just be a bad tree cutting accident.

    In his apartment?



  • That is brilliant journalism. I might drop the guy a message :)

    Clearly the journalist thinks it's complete bullshit but he can't give opinion on a BBC news peice, so instead he quotes each and every person who told him just how non suspicious it was as a way of showing his opinion while purely stating the facts. Genius.



  • @WeatherGod said:

    @TheDude said:

     I don't think this is a WTF.  Could just be a bad tree cutting accident.

    In his apartment?
     

    Did this happen around christmas time?  If so, that could explain it. 



  • <obligatory>

    TRWTF is that the op posted an image of the news story while this spiffy WYSIWYG editor can handle copy and pasting of the story from BBC.

     </obligatory>

    <!-- E BO -->



  •  No, TRWTF is that no one could be arsed to look for other sources reporting the same story.  Here's one that at least sounds plausible (not saying it's necessarily true):

     

    (edited only to deleted some unrelated ads and other links)

     

     

    Man cuts off own head with chainsaw after losing eviction fight!

    thecheers.org    2008-07-15 18:07:22    
    <center>


    </center>





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    L
    London, July 15 : A 58-year-old man in Hampshire, UK, severed his own head using a <font style="color: rgb(204, 0, 51) ! important; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; position: static;" color="#cc0033">chainsaw</font>, after losing an eviction fight.








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    A 58-year-old man in Hampshire, UK, severed his own head using a chainsaw, after losing an eviction fight.


    Police sources have revealed that David Phyall switched on the saw, and put a timer on the socket.

    He even had a cocktail of pills to knock himself out, and then rested the saw on his neck.

    When the timer went off, the saw sliced through his neck in an instant.

    David committed suicide some 10 days ago, and it was his father John who first discovered his body.

    Policemen and paramedics who reached the site said that they found David's blood-soaked corpse.

    "What greeted them was a horrific sight. The head was severed and there was a considerable amount of blood. He seemed to have gone into a great amount of detail to end it all," British tabloid The Sun quoted a Hampshire police source as saying.

    The newspaper reported that David had fought for several years to prevent developers bulldozing the block of 72 flats he rented in, and replacing them.

    He was last to leave after all the other flats were boarded up in Bishopstoke, <font style="color: rgb(204, 0, 51) ! important; font-family: Arial; font-weight: 400; font-size: 13px; position: static;" color="#cc0033">Southampton</font>, added the report.

    The paper even said that an eviction notice from housing association Atlantic Housing Ltd might have been the last straw.

    "We had given him 11 other offers of <font style="color: rgb(204, 0, 51) ! important; font-family: Arial; font-weight: 400; font-size: 13px; position: static;" color="#cc0033">accommodation</font> but he rejected them, basically because he did not want a property owned by us," said a spokesman for Atlantic.

    Ron Turtle, residents' association chairman, said: "They offered him several places that were similar but he just didn't want to move. They had to go to court. It is a very sad situation."

    An inquest into the death was opened at Winchester Coroner's Court, and adjourned.

    Tests were being carried out to see whether the tablets killed him first. (ANI)
     

     



  • @emurphy said:

    ...credible news story...

    I figured it was something like this.  Even if the developers were evil enough to kill the last tenant just so they could demolish the building, they sure as hell would use a less conspicuous method than a chainsaw.  Considering how many people in this thread seemed to believe he was murdered, I have to conclude 90% or more of the readers on this site are total fuckwits.  This isn't a movie, people.  If you were going to kill someone there are much better ways to do it.  Christ.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    If you were going to kill someone there are much better ways to do it.  Christ.
     

    Although not being able to get a gun in such a boring fucking country could definitely push someone to use a chainsaw...



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    If you were going to kill someone there are much better ways to do it.  Christ.
     

    Although not being able to get a gun in such a boring fucking country could definitely push someone to use a chainsaw...

    I'm surprised they didn't just try piling Weetabix on top of him until the weight finally crushed him to death.



  • David Phyall switched on the saw, and put a timer on the socket.


    He even had a cocktail of pills to knock himself out, and then rested the saw on his neck.

    When the timer went off, the saw sliced through his neck in an instant.
    Pretty ingenious. Sounds like a waste of a good head.


  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    If you were going to kill someone there are much better ways to do it.  Christ.
     

    Although not being able to get a gun in such a boring fucking country could definitely push someone to use a chainsaw...

    I'd say cutting the head off with a chainsaw is a lot less boring than using a gun...



  • @emurphy said:

     No, TRWTF is that no one could be arsed to look for other sources reporting the same story.  Here's one that at least sounds plausible (not saying it's necessarily true):

    (edited only to deleted some unrelated ads and other links)

    http://www.thecheers.org/news/World-news/news_31925_Man-cuts-off-own-head-with-chainsaw-after-losing-eviction-fight.html

    London, July 15 : A 58-year-old man in Hampshire, UK, severed his own head using a <font style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;" color="#cc0033">chainsaw</font>, after losing an eviction fight...


    A 58-year-old man in Hampshire, UK, severed his own head using a chainsaw, after losing an eviction fight. Police sources have revealed that David Phyall switched on the saw, and put a timer on the socket.

     

     

    Yea, right.  If this were the case, I find it hard to believe that so many "officials" would be so eager to describe it as "not suspicious".  That seems an odd way to describe it. 

    And if he did do this, I think he has earned the right for his immortal soul to be consoled with the electricution of a couple of "officials" from Atlantic Housing Ltd.

     



  • @Numeromancer said:

    I find it hard to believe that so many "officials" would be so eager to describe it as "not suspicious"
     

    There is nothing 'suspicious' about it. I fail to see how you could call it anything but a suicide.

    Do you really think this is a friggin conspiracy still?

    @Numeromancer said:

    I think he has earned the right for his immortal soul to be consoled with the electricution of a couple of "officials" from Atlantic Housing Ltd.

    Wow... just wow.



  • @emurphy said:

    No, TRWTF is that no one could be arsed to look for other sources reporting the same story.

    100% agree.  But surely there is still a WTF here in the way the BBC has chosen to report this?  It seems to me it's rather like reporting, for example, "Man steps in front of bus for no reason!" and neglecting to mention that he was blind and his guide dog had just dropped dead!!



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @emurphy said:

    ...credible news story...

    I figured it was something like this.  Even if the developers were evil enough to kill the last tenant just so they could demolish the building, they sure as hell would use a less conspicuous method than a chainsaw.  Considering how many people in this thread seemed to believe he was murdered, I have to conclude 90% or more of the readers on this site are total fuckwits.  This isn't a movie, people.  If you were going to kill someone there are much better ways to do it.  Christ.

     

    If you were going to kill yourself, there are much better ways to do it.  Even in the UK, where slingshots and butter knives are strictly regulated.

     

    That being said, I would think one would need to put one's head in a vise in order to keep it firmly in place on the chain.  Even an anti-kickback chain is going to transfer motion to the saw-ee.



  • @operagost said:

    If you were going to kill yourself, there are much better ways to do it.
     

    Not if you want to make a statement like this guy clearly did.

    @operagost said:

    Even an anti-kickback chain is going to transfer motion to the saw-ee.

    100+ pounds would push his neck right through the chain. This is 100% plausible, not sure how you could even attempt to argue this.



  • @MasterPlanSoftware said:

    @operagost said:
    Even an anti-kickback chain is going to transfer motion to the saw-ee.

    100+ pounds would push his neck right through the chain. This is 100% plausible, not sure how you could even attempt to argue this.

     

    I say let's call the Mythbusters dudes.. 

    My theory, is that even if the kickback pushes the neck away, it will still have done enough damage to kill the guy.. and the head if not completely severed, it will be hanging by some tendmos and skin... Tom Savini comes to mind... 

     



  • @Numeromancer said:

     

    Yea, right.  If this were the case, I find it hard to believe that so many "officials" would be so eager to describe it as "not suspicious".  That seems an odd way to describe it. 

     

    Person 1: Are you an alcoholic?

    Person 2: No.

    Person 1: Aha! Only an alcoholic would try to deny being an alcoholic!



  • @Zagyg said:

    @emurphy said:

    No, TRWTF is that no one could be arsed to look for other sources reporting the same story.

    100% agree.  But surely there is still a WTF here in the way the BBC has chosen to report this?  It seems to me it's rather like reporting, for example, "Man steps in front of bus for no reason!" and neglecting to mention that he was blind and his guide dog had just dropped dead!!

     

    No argument on that point.

     

    As for testing whether the chainsaw-on-a-timer would actually work, Penn & Teller's How to Play with Your Food ought to be a decent starting point.  (They did ballistics testing with melons to debunk the popular "JFK's head jerked back and to the left, so obviously the gunman must have been forward and to the right" theory; what actually happens is that the bullet carries a chunk of flesh with it on exit, causing the rest of the head to equally-and-oppositely react toward the gun.)

     

     



  • @operagost said:

    If you were going to kill yourself, there are much better ways to do it.  Even in the UK, where slingshots and butter knives are strictly regulated.
     

    The only better plan I can think of is this one from QDB

    <evilada>: Best suicide plan ever

    <mcm310>: what is it?

    <evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof

    <evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level

    <evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the
    building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched

    <evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands

    <evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head

    <evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows

    <evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down
    with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms
    thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and
    spewing blood everywhere.

    <evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.

    <mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore



  • Looks more like something out of the Onion than a real newspaper.  But it is, sadly, indicative of the general quality of journalism at
    the beeb.  More exaggerated than usual perhaps, but either way it tends
    to make one question the layers upon layers of fact-checking and
    editing they claim to have.

    Almost makes me pine for the hard-hitting research and unbiased reporting that the Times reporters pull out of their asses.



  • @billhead said:

    <obligatory>

    TRWTF is that the op posted an image of the news story while this spiffy WYSIWYG editor can handle copy and pasting of the story from BBC.

     </obligatory>

    No, the Real WTFTM is the lack of a wooden table.



  • @billhead said:

    <obligatory>

    TRWTF is that
    the op posted an image of the news story while this spiffy WYSIWYG
    editor can handle copy and pasting of the story from BBC.

     </obligatory>


    @emurphy said:


    //-->

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    Indeed.



  •  So the real WTF is that a company can just force you out of your property because they have more money.



  • @hvm said:

     So the real WTF is that a company can just force you out of your property because they have more money.


    You need to check out Eminent Domain. The government can force you out of a property if they think they can get more money by someone else occupying it.



  • @hvm said:

     So the real WTF is that a company can just force you out of your property because they have more money.

    No, this is a rented apartment. He doesn't own the place, so there's nothing wrong with the actual owner saying he can't live there anymore. It being England, a renter does get certain rights from common law, and others from feudalism (hence the eviction fight), but overall, it's the owner who has final say in who can and can't live on the property.



  •  @dcardani said:

    Person 1: Are you an alcoholic?

    Person 2: No.

    Person 1: Aha! Only an alcoholic would try to deny being an alcoholic!

    Reminds me of this:

    Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!

    Girl:
    Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

    Brian:
    What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

    Followers:
    He is! He is the Messiah!

    Brian:
    Now, fuck off!


    [silence]

    Arthur:
    How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

     

    As you were...



  •  

    A 58-year-old man in Hampshire, UK, severed his own head using a chainsaw, after losing an eviction fight.

     Wow! That is grim and disturbing, but kind of amazing. If I ever decide to off myself, I'm gonna do something like that. But maybe with more pills and a belt sander on a timer...


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