Killing Jesus



  •  Another tiny WTF to pass the time. I was semi-watching the news and with Easter coming there were a lot of religion-related stories. I wasn't paying much attention until I noticed computer graphics on the tv. Given the average IQ of a tv reporter, stories involving computers are always good for a laugh so I started watching. 

    They had found all sorts of flash games involving Jesus being shot and the like and they were bitching and moaning about it. Fairly standard stuff until they showed a scene from Duke Nukem 3D (yes, the 12 year old game) where Duke is in a church and shoots a cross to trigger some sort of game event. I wonder what kind of retard went to all the trouble of digging that up and putting it on the news of a nation wide channel.

    In any case I'd like to warn everyone that the next time you're in a church with your trusty double-barrelled shotgun and you feel the urge to shoot religious icons you should think twice. It makes baby jesus cry. 



  • @DOA said:

    In any case I'd like to warn everyone that the next time you're in a church with your trusty double-barrelled shotgun and you feel the urge to shoot religious icons you should think twice. It makes baby jesus cry. 
     

    And it unlocks treasure -- bonus! 



  • I remember that scene.  You shoot the cross, it becomes an upside down cross, and two demon-looking enemies are zapped into the church.  I want to go play that game now ... fires up nukum and FRAPS



  • IIRC it was the jail level where you start on the electric chair.

    There's also that funny "dead doom space marine" 



  • I thought you used the cross instead of shooting it, but yes, that scene was pretty creepy.



  • Sounds like its time to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of gum. 



  • You don't shoot the cross. You "Use" the thing in front of the altar that has the picture of the episode's boss on it, which makes the lights turn red and turns the cross into an upside down cross. This also opens up a secret door behind the left stained glass mural, which you can shoot and go through to a small tunnel that's behind the cross. There's one octobrain in there, and after you kill it, you can walk down to the end of the tunnel where there's the torso of a Doom marine and a chaingun, at which point Duke will exclaim "That's one doomed space marine!". You can gib the marine torso to get an atomic health.

    It's sad that I know all of this from memory.



  •  @Sunstorm said:

    You don't shoot the cross. You "Use" the thing in front of the altar that has the picture of the episode's boss on it
    I don't really remember how it went exactly. They showed the part where the cross morphs but it was the reporter who mentioned the shooting part. Guess it makes their story even more retarded. 

    On the other hand of course if you weren't careful and shot the cross accidentally, you're going to hell. It says so in the bible. I believe it was Paul 4:16 "Thy shalt not shoot the cross to get to the doom space marine".



  •  @Sunstorm said:

    It's sad that I know all of this from memory.
    holy shit.

    I actually did fire up the game and got to the church.  Everything you've said is true to my experience.  There's also a button above the "cross switching switch" that you have to shoot.  I haven't shot it yet, but I think that's the one that zaps two more octobrains into the room, among other things.

    I haven't gotten around to FRAPS-ing it and posting it to youtube.  I'm not sure FRAPS would work since it's not a directx game.  If only there were a way to video in my game playing, maybe using a video recording device pointed at the screen.  Genius!  I could add commentary right there in the video without any of that pesky video editing software!

    Feel free to prove me wrong on FRAPS not working with non-directx games.  It's just a guess.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    I haven't gotten around to FRAPS-ing it and posting it to youtube. 

    @Wikipedia said:

    Programs that run in Windows without DirectX or OpenGL are not supported, and therefore Fraps cannot capture desktop applications under Windows 2000 and XP.

    Why Fraps? Just load it in DOSBox and use the built-in recording facility.



  • @Spectre said:

    Why Fraps? Just load it in DOSBox and use the built-in recording facility.
    Will try.



  • @DOA said:

    Thy shalt not
    Thou shalt not :D

    Coincidentally, I'm up to TagException(0x003D) 



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @Spectre said:
    Why Fraps? Just load it in DOSBox and use the built-in recording facility.
    Will try.
    and here we are!  Yes, I used cheat codes.  No, I'm not ashamed about it.  Normally I don't use them, though


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