But you just don't understand!



  • Working in a fairly large school district, we in the tech department are constantly asked to use our imaginations to migrate the old paper/sneaker net into the electronic realm. One of the first, and most underutilized, forms of this is our ticket tracking system, which is supposed to take a request and assign it to the proper person.

    I say underutilized because 99% of our requests come when we pass by an open office door and someone yells out "I wanted to ask you if it's possible..." The secretary to our Superintendent collects a lot of data for our
    Board of Education that must be collated into reports. I have worked
    with her in the past to update our administrative website with
    collection forms and csv output so that all the school data is entered
    in a similar way and with similar font ( a major annoyance of hers).
    Recently, she stopped me as I passed by her office with the following:

    Secretary: I was wondering if it's possible to make a form and database for our suspension reports just like you did for staff trip reimbursement.

    Me: Well, I don't see why not, but doesn't our attendance program track student attendance, including suspensions?

    Secretary: No, you don't understand! I need something that the secretaries can use, that all comes out the same!

    Me: Uhm...we have attendance secretaries that input all of that information every day...and it has to be entered the same way...are you sure we can't...

    Secretary: No, you don't understand! I can't add any responsibility on to what they already do!

    Me: Wait...wouldn't a whole new web form and proceedure be adding on to what they already do? I mean, they already enter attendance every day and...

    Secretary: NO, you...don't...understand! I can't just collect that information, the Principals may not want me to.

    Me: But...it's already in our systems...it's not like we're requesting new data...

    Secretary: NO...

    I think you can see that it was a very productive conversation. In the 20 minutes I got me "re-education" on how our systems work, I had emailed the coworker who is in charge of maintaining the attendance program and he was able to take an already made suspension report and tweak a few parameters and write the SSIS project to run it every month and email it to her as a CSV document.



  • Ah, the "I will only listen to bits and pieces of what you say and interrupt when I feel like it" syndrome.  I know I am guilty of this too, but if people just be patient and just wait for a person to finish talking, less time would be wasted in unproductive arguements.  The best thing I have managed to do in situations like this is to acknowledge what they are saying before continuing, however this doesn't seem to work in all situations.



  • @WeatherGod said:

     but if people just be patient and just wait for a person to finish talking, less time would be wasted in unproductive arguements. 

    If people would just do things my way, then there would be no arguments at all.



  • @WeatherGod said:

    Ah, the "I will only listen to bits and pieces of what you say and interrupt when I feel like it" syndrome.

    /me sheepishly tries to pretend he never does this.   



  • @WeatherGod said:

    Ah, the "I will only listen to bits and pieces of what you say and interrupt when I feel like it" syndrome.  I know I am guilty of this too, but if people just be patient and just wait for a person to finish talking, le-

     

     No, no, you don't understand!



  •  Ah, but you do realise that us techs are the worst at this?

     

    luser: 'I've got this error message. It reads "'Misbehavingapp' has performed an illega..."'

    Tech: 'Yes, yes, yes, um can i get you to ---'

     

    And then we have the efrontery to be annoyed when, next time, they say "I got this error message yesterday that said somehing about missing or something.'



  • @robbak said:

     Ah, but you do realise that us techs are the worst at this?

     

    luser: 'I've got this error message. It reads "'Misbehavingapp' has performed an illega..."'

    Tech: 'Yes, yes, yes, um can i get you to ---'

     

    And then we have the efrontery to be annoyed when, next time, they say "I got this error message yesterday that said somehing about missing or something.'

     

    Well, maybe you do....



  • @robbak said:

     Ah, but you do realise that us techs are the worst at this?

    TRWTF is that you talk to end users.  My BugZilla and trouble ticket systems: let me show them to you.

     

    Steps for creating a new bug or trouble ticket:

    1) Have the user describe in agonizing detail what they were doing when the problem occurred.  Have them fill in the OS, browser, computer manufacturer and what they had for lunch.  It was the curry, wasn't it?  How many times have I told you that our software doesn't like the smell of curry?

    2) Attempt to replicate the issue by recreating the environment of the user as closely as possible.  It is not necessary to give yourself a frontal lobotomy, however.  If this does not succeed on the first try, add the comment "could not replicate, need more detailed info plz" and go to step 1.

    3) Alright, it looks like somebody screwed something up.  See if you can track down the bug in the source.  If you find it, proceed to step 5, otherwise proceed to step 4.

    4) Obviously the user installed something retarded on their system that is interfering with your elegant application.  Have them format their hard drive and reinstall Windows and all of their applications.  If they are reluctant, call the IT manager and drop the words "spyware" and "botnet".  Hopefully it will take a week for them to get their system back to a functional state.  Since the bug has gone 5 days without action on their part, close it out.  They will be so busy catching up on their work they won't notice the email about their closed bug.

    5) One of the other developers must have broken something.  Use the Subversion history to track them down and beat them relentlessly.  If it turns out you are the developer who committed the bad code, claim there is a bug with the post-commit script and spend the next week "tracking it down".  If you work alone, blame Microsoft.

    6) Begrudingly fix the bug hours before the bug deadline hits.  Push it into production without testing and add the comment "I've tested this thoroughly in the environment you specified and it is corrected now, please verify."  If they claim it still isn't fixed, blame Microsoft and go to step 1. 



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Steps for creating a new bug or trouble ticket:

    Genius! I especially like this part:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    If they are reluctant, call the IT manager and drop the words "spyware" and "botnet".

    We've actually had to rail on some clients who kept installing mega-adware on their system and then complain to use that the application wouldn't work anymore. We'd remove every trace of the adware, and all would be well..... and they'd install it all right back on there! I'm glad I'm not in support anymore.



  • You don't understand ANTENNA!


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