Fedex teleportation



  • Apparently Fedex can magically teleport stuff from one city to another.



  • You'd think they'd be quicker if that was the case



  • Obviously this wasn't intentional.  If it was, they would not have had to return it back to Miami.

    I think this is something similar to the lost sock mystery, which I do have a theory for.

    Socks get in a dryer and as it spins, the heat, static and spinning motion opens a wormhole in the space time continium just big enough for a sock to pass through while other clothing remains in place.  This then spits it out on the side of the road somewhere in middle America.  This explains both the dissapearing socks and the clothing on the road in our country.

     Apparently someone was shipping a dryer via FedEx and someone turned it on.

     

    Help desk girl forever, she even has a tattoo! 



  • @KattMan said:

    Socks get in a dryer and as it spins, the heat, static and spinning motion opens a wormhole in the space time continium just big enough for a sock to pass through while other clothing remains in place.  This then spits it out on the side of the road somewhere in middle America.  This explains both the dissapearing socks and the clothing on the road in our country.

    Best theory yet! I'm going to add that one to EverNote.



  • Here it is:

    Missing Sock Theory



  • @AbbydonKrafts said:

    Here it is:

     

    Missing Sock Theory

     

    OK, what road am I supposed to find this on the side of?

    Or if it were an image, my workplace seems to think images are evil, unless they are advertisments. 



  • @KattMan said:

    Or if it were an image, my workplace seems to think images are evil, unless they are advertisments.

    That would be it, then. It's on ImageShack.



  • This brilliant bit of WTFery would be caused by the way FedEx enters package movement in their systems.  And the scary thing is, I think I know who the person responsible is down in FLL.  You would be amazed at the amount of WTFs that are hiding in the Fedex computer systems. 



  • @Thalagyrt said:

    Apparently Fedex can magically teleport stuff from one city to another.

     

    Not in america here, but where is the teleport??? Is 2 hours between FORT LAUDERDALE and MIAMI to small? according to my maps, it'so only about 50kms or so!



  • Its not the time, but the location.... If you look closely... he arrived in miami the night before on the 9th. He left the ramp in the morning from Ft. Lauderdale. He never left from miami, but ft. lauderdale.  It was a joke because how'd he get there without leaving miami's ramp first.



  • MMM ok was looking at the timings ^^. But what proves you that

     

    1) the ramp does not go from Miami to Fort Lauderdale

    2) The ramp is not mounted on a truck that moves from one city to another? 



  • Socks are in fact the larval form of the coathanger.



  • @Thalagyrt said:

    Apparently Fedex can magically teleport stuff from one city to another.

    It's the way they track packages: Say you're shipping a package from San Francisco to Portland:

    1. Package barcode is scanned when they receive it.
    2. Package barcode is scanned when it is loaded on the truck in San Francisco.
    3. Truck barcode is scanned when it leaves San Francisco en route to Seattle, with a stop at Portland.
    4. Truck arrives in Portland; Portland-bound packages are unloaded into the receiving area.
    5. Truck arrives in Seattle, truck barcode is scanned. At this point, the package is recorded as being in Seattle: since it hasn't yet been scanned in Portland, the software assumes it's still on the truck.
    6. Package barcode is scanned in Portland. Package is shown as having been teleported from Seattle to Portland.


  • @Thalagyrt said:

    Apparently Fedex can magically teleport stuff from one city to another.

    I think I figured it out. They don't have a Prime Talent (T-1) available, but they have a telekinetic Talent with a short range. So, they were able to push/'port it the relatively short distance. The Tower crew has a problem with their logs, though.



  •  You think teleportation is impressive?  UPS has quantum shipping.  I think they're working on entangling your packages, so that your package will have both arrived and not arrived!  Right now they've only got the second part down.




  • @AbbydonKrafts said:

    @Thalagyrt said:
    Apparently Fedex can magically teleport stuff from one city to another.

    I think I figured it out. They don't have a Prime Talent (T-1) available, but they have a telekinetic Talent with a short range. So, they were able to push/'port it the relatively short distance. The Tower crew has a problem with their logs, though.

    For some reason this is familiar to me, Anne McCaffery by chance?  Can't recall the novels, but I seem to recall it was a series. 



  • @KattMan said:

    For some reason this is familiar to me, Anne McCaffery by chance?  Can't recall the novels, but I seem to recall it was a series.

    Congrats! It's The Rowan.



  • FedEx also routes a lot of things through their memphis central hub. I had to laugh one time when I sent something to Oakland from San Francisco (actual distance ~5 miles) and it went from san francisco over the bridge into the sort facility in Oakland then it was loaded onto a plane, flown to memphis, unloaded, scanned, loaded back on a plane, flown back to oakland, unloaded, and sent out for delivery. 

    I wish I had a screen of the tracking for that. I guess they just wanted to make sure I got my money's worth by sending it on a 4,000 mile journey to go five miles.


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