Bottled Spring Water WTF



  • I don't normally pay much attention to the random crap printed on water bottles, but I happened to have one on my desk and noticed this...

    <backstory>I was recently traveling through western Maryland and stopped at the [url=http://www.dnr.state.md.us/publiclands/western/sidelinghill.html]Sideling Hill[/url] rest area.  They've gone out of their way not only to make an "entertainment" stop out of a potty break but to ensure that it is "accessible"...  Probably because it's a government-run facility.  Not really noteworthy - it's a big gap cut in a mountain - but it's the only rest area for an hour or so in either direction.  While I was there, my kids complained they were thirsty and, since I wanted to get back on the road, I bought a couple of water bottles from a vending machine.  Hence, water bottle now on my desk.</backstory>

    This water is labeled "[url=http://www.brickhousewater.com]Brick House Spring Water[/url]" which is ALL-NATURAL, SODIUM FREE and NON CARBONATED (exactly as represented on the label).  Of course it has to have one of those "nutrition facts" boxes on it, even though it's waterZero calories, fat, sodium, carbs, sugars, protein.  Serving size is 8 oz., so servings per container is 2.  This was obviously done to prevent any rogue calories from screwing up their nutritional facts table.

    On the other side are the following statements:

    Brick House Spring Water comes from natural springs located under Brick House Farm in Historic Howard County.  Use of these springs dates to the 18th century when the first homesite was built on this land.

    I guess those millenia of use by the prior (non-European) inhabitants don't count?

    Sold and Distributed in affiliation with Blind Industries & Services of Maryland.

    And blind services have exactly what to do with bottled water, exactly?  I could understand if it said "portions of all proceeds go to..." or something like that.

    Ozonated for purity

    Mmmmm...  hey!  You got all-natural ozone in my all-natural spring water!

    Of course, the company's web site is WTF-worthy on multiple levels itself.  Not least of which is that every page proudly proclaims "This Site Created With Website Tonight" (GoDaddy.com)



  • Not just maryland a lot of states have vending machine proceeds go to organizations like services for the blind. Take a look around rest stops in other states you'll see more of the same. So, that is what they meant.

    Here's what the label on my heavily sugared vitaminwater essential says, I like this better ... (in non capitalized bukowski manner ...)

     

    ah, orange juice commercials, funny stuff. mom cheerily prepares some huge breakfast while the rest of her family sleeps, sure, this could happen. but every morning? please. maybe if mom were heavily medicated, in which case, we wouldn't condone operating a stove or any electrical appliance.

    for those of us who don't live in an orange juice commercial, there's still a way to get your morning nutrition. this product has calcium and lots of vitamin c, so you can get your day started right, minus the whole stepford mom thing.

    But mine has 125 calories across its 2.5 servings (32.5 grams of sugar) ... 



  • You're complaining about marketing fluff on [b]BOTTLED WATER[/b]. Frankly, I'd be glad they've bothered to put ozone through my water if I were you; spring water probably has all sorts of crud in it.



  • @GalacticCowboy said:

    And blind services have exactly what to do with bottled water, exactly?  I could understand if it said "portions of all proceeds go to..." or something like that.

    So, in your mind, the only thing that Blind Industries and Services of Maryland could be doing is handing out money to blind people. It's not at all possible that they find JOBS for blind people and maybe the water bottling company has hired them.



  • At least it's actually spring water. I've seen stuff labeled as spring water with fine print, "source: Townsville Municipal Water Supply"



  • @spittman said:

    maybe the water bottling company has hired them

    I'm inclined to believe it's more along this case since it says "Sold and Distributed in affiliation with". They probably didn't hire them directly, but instead contracted with the organization.



  • @SuperousOxide said:

    I've seen stuff labeled as spring water with fine print, "source: Townsville Municipal Water Supply"

    (emphasis mine). Are you sure? If so, that's not legal -- even with the fine print. It can only be labeled as "spring" water if it truely came from a spring. Otherwise, "distilled" is usually the chosen word (because "tap" just doesn't work with consumers). In the case of distilled water, I have seen the source mentioned on the label.



  • @SuperousOxide said:

    At least it's actually spring water. I've seen stuff labeled as spring water with fine print, "source: Townsville Municipal Water Supply"
     

     That's because it isn't spring water but rather Spring Water.  Note the subtle difference, one is water that comes from the spring, the other is the Spring Water brand of tap water.



  • @KattMan said:

    That's because it isn't spring water but rather Spring Water.  Note the subtle difference, one is water that comes from the spring, the other is the Spring Water brand of tap water.

     

     

    Or maybe its municipal water from [url=http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&rmm=1&un=m&cl=EN&qq=hltF3hzNT9tNhURP0HLlhh9UYBmHRqyBceg4Gkon14D8uewLk7pjHQ%253d%253d&ct=NA&rsres=1&1y=US&1ffi=&1l=&1g=&1pl=&1v=&1n=&1pn=&1a=&1c=spring&1s=tx&1z=&2y=US&2ffi=&2l=&2g=&2pl=&2v=&2n=&2pn=&2a=&2c=spring&2s=pa&2z=&r=f]Spring, TX or Spring, PA[/url] ... ?



  • Okay, but what has to happen before an egg roll can be called a spring roll?



  • @spittman said:

    @GalacticCowboy said:

    And blind services have exactly what to do with bottled water, exactly?  I could understand if it said "portions of all proceeds go to..." or something like that.

    So, in your mind, the only thing that Blind Industries and Services of Maryland could be doing is handing out money to blind people. It's not at all possible that they find JOBS for blind people and maybe the water bottling company has hired them.

    It strikes me as random government-mandated-accesibility-speak for "In order to act as an approved vendor at this government-operated facility, we have to be 'accessible'.  Since there's nothing 'accessible' or 'not accessible' about water, we have to 'partner' with a random service organization so we can check that box on the form."  I don't know the first thing about the Blind Industries and Services of Maryland or what they do - I don't really care.  Good for them.  It's just a completely random thing to see on the side of a water bottle.



  • @shadowman said:

    Okay, but what has to happen before an egg roll can be called a spring roll?
     

    It has to get soggy and lose enough air volumn so as to be springy when you squeeze it. 



  • @shadowman said:

    Okay, but what has to happen before an egg roll can be called a spring roll?

    Springs, obviously...  Leaf springs are too bulky and are overkill for the application, so I'm thinking probably some small coil springs.



  • @GalacticCowboy said:

    Springs, obviously...  Leaf springs are too bulky and are overkill for the application, so I'm thinking probably some small coil springs.

    And obviously they are made from carbon-based fiber material.



  • @GalacticCowboy said:


    It strikes me as random government-mandated-accesibility-speak for "In order to act as an approved vendor at this government-operated facility, we have to be 'accessible'.  Since there's nothing 'accessible' or 'not accessible' about water, we have to 'partner' with a random service organization so we can check that box on the form."  I don't know the first thing about the Blind Industries and Services of Maryland or what they do - I don't really care.  Good for them.  It's just a completely random thing to see on the side of a water bottle.

     

    Let me help. I sometimes use this nifty thing called Google and it helped me resolve this ... [url=http://bism.org/]Blind Industries and Services of Maryland[/url]

    Established in 1908 by the Maryland General Assembly as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, Blind Industries and Services of Maryland provides innovative rehabilitation services, training and stable employment opportunities to our state's citizens who are blind or visually impaired.

    Blind Industries nurtures a culture that promotes open communication, teamwork and trust while upholding core values of honesty and integrity. Working with our associates to achieve independence and personal growth is our most important objective, because we believe in the powerful capabilities of all people.

    Each year we serve over 2000 Maryland citizens who are blind, and over 400 exceptional Blind Industries associates run our ten facilities in Maryland, Delaware, the District of Columbia and Kentucky, manufacturing products and providing services of the highest quality.

    So it seems the job training and placement call was correct ... and after all everyone deserves the change to have a job if they are able. 



  • Serving size is 8 oz., so servings per container is 2.  This was obviously done to prevent any rogue calories from screwing up their nutritional facts table.

    KFC is running TV commercials for it's fried chicken that say "Zero grams of trans-fat per serving" .  Huh?  Why is the "per serving" needed at the end?  Is there some other scenario where zero isn't zero?

     

     



  • Established in 1908 by the Maryland General Assembly as
    a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, Blind Industries and Services of
    Maryland provides innovative rehabilitation services, training and stable
    employment opportunities to our state's citizens who are blind or visually
    impaired.


    Blind Industries nurtures a culture that promotes open
    communication, teamwork and trust while upholding core values of honesty
    and integrity. Working with our associates to achieve independence and
    personal growth is our most important objective, because we believe
    in the powerful capabilities of all people.


    Each year we serve over 2000 Maryland citizens who are
    blind, and over 400 exceptional Blind Industries associates run our
    ten facilities in Maryland, Delaware, the District of Columbia and Kentucky,
    manufacturing products and providing services of the highest quality.

     Nobody is questioning the integrity of Blind Industries and Services of
    Maryland.  However,  the reason for their "partnering" with a bottled water compnay is still best explained by:

    "In order to act as an approved vendor at this government-operated
    facility, we have to be 'accessible'.  Since there's nothing
    'accessible' or 'not accessible' about water, we have to 'partner' with
    a random service organization so we can check that box on the form."

     

     



  • @El_Heffe said:

    KFC is running TV commercials for it's fried chicken that say "Zero grams of trans-fat per serving" .  Huh?  Why is the "per serving" needed at the end?  Is there some other scenario where zero isn't zero?

    When "Zero grams" is in fact "trace amounts" rounded down, and multiple servings result in rounding up making the result non-zero.



  •  Just FYI: Spring water is dangerous.

    If you drink from a natural spring, the better it tastes, the worse it is for you. The good tasting calcium deposits will form stones in your kidneys. So they got to purify it somehow. However whats interesting is that New York tap watter is generally cleaner than most spring water. If you boil your tap water you get way cleaner water than bottled water caz its now clean from all bacteria too. Long story short, bottled water has boggled my mind for a long time. Its only good if you live in mexico where tap water has all sorts of crap u don't want to drink (like worms).



  • @dlikhten said:

     Just FYI: Spring water is dangerous.

    If you drink from a natural spring, the better it tastes, the worse it is for you. The good tasting calcium deposits will form stones in your kidneys. So they got to purify it somehow. However whats interesting is that New York tap watter is generally cleaner than most spring water. If you boil your tap water you get way cleaner water than bottled water caz its now clean from all bacteria too. Long story short, bottled water has boggled my mind for a long time. Its only good if you live in mexico where tap water has all sorts of crap u don't want to drink (like worms).

     

    Boiling water doesn't do anything. I don't know where you got that idea from.

    The only time that MIGHT be beneficial is if you think you may have microbes in your water.

    I think you are confusing the concept of distilled water. 


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