The worst brand name ever



  • An area grocery store (Giant) has its own brand of organic and healthy foods.  It's called "Nature's Promise."  Unfortunately, there's only one reasonable answer to the question of "what [i]is[/i] nature's promise?"

    Death! 



  • Sorry, you fail. That's stretching it a bit too far.
    One could also argue that being born and paying taxes are also guaranteed.



  • @Quietust said:

    Sorry, you fail. That's stretching it a bit too far.One could also argue that being born and paying taxes are also guaranteed.

    I'm pretty certain that the only thing that an organism is promised by existing in nature is that it will die.  No more, no less.  You might reproduce, you might stumble upon some tasty food, you might even build complex societal relationships... but you will definitely die.

    Being born is not a guarantee as lots of things are terminated before emerging from the egg/womb/whatever. 



  • @djork said:

    An area grocery store (Giant) has its own brand of organic and healthy foods. It's called "Nature's Promise." Unfortunately, there's only one reasonable answer to the question of "what [i]is[/i] nature's promise?"

    Death!

     


    Have you ever tried any of that stuff?  If that's what they meant, the name is appropriate.



  • @djork said:

    An area grocery store (Giant) has its own brand of organic and healthy foods. It's called "Nature's Promise." Unfortunately, there's only one reasonable answer to the question of "what [i]is[/i] nature's promise?"

    Death!


    The original product name was Natural Selection, but obviously very few people bought that.



  • @djork said:

    Being born is not a guarantee as lots of things are terminated before emerging from the egg/womb/whatever.

    And you might not be a mammal. Trees are never born. 



  • @djork said:

    @Quietust said:

    Sorry, you fail. That's stretching it a bit too far.One could also argue that being born and paying taxes are also guaranteed.

    I'm pretty certain that the only thing that an organism is promised by existing in nature is that it will die. No more, no less. You might reproduce, you might stumble upon some tasty food, you might even build complex societal relationships... but you will definitely die.

    Being born is not a guarantee as lots of things are terminated before emerging from the egg/womb/whatever.

    I'm not sure you quite interpreted the OP correctly. I read it as 'if you are born then paying taxes is guaranteed,' not 'being born or paying taxes are guaranteed.'

    Not that it makes it any more correct. Non-humans that are born don't pay taxes. Humans that are born and that die at a very young age don't pay taxes.



  • Though I hate to admit it, I once worked for a company whose domain name was jacksoft.com. (Apparently they've since sold that domain and have a more appropriate one.) That the owner of the company didn't realize why that might be a bad domain name says volumes about how messed up the company was.



  • There's a company here in Sweden called Emo Office Supplies...



  • @Quietust said:

    Sorry, you fail. That's stretching it a bit too far.
    One could also argue that being born and paying taxes are also guaranteed.

    Obligatory:

    In Soviet Russia, taxes pay you! 



  • @djork said:

    An area grocery store (Giant) has its own brand of organic and healthy foods. It's called "Nature's Promise." Unfortunately, there's only one reasonable answer to the question of "what [i]is[/i] nature's promise?"

    Death!

     Death is a human concept, not a natural one. Consider a colony of yeast cells. The cells eat, bud, reproduce, some cells die, but the colony as a whole expands. The "death" of the individual cells doesn't matter. Nature has no concept of "This is a cell, and all these cells collected together are an organism." That's just a human tendency to want to categorize things.

    If yeast doesn't float your boat, consider the mycelium of a mushroom species. This is a mass of cells which work together to serve a specific function -- create a fruiting body to produce spores and spread more mycelium. Is a mushroom mycelium a multi-celled organism, or a colony of single cells? Does the death of any one cell mean that an organism has died? Or is it more like sloughing dead skin cells off the back of your hand? 

    The object which I call "my body" will ultimately "die" in the sense that all its cells will cease to function, and decay. But through the miracle and pleasure of human reproduction some continuity is assured in the form of my offspring. We say, "This is me, and that's my son." But nature, again, has no such concept.

    What does nature promise? It seems to promise the continuation of life in all its forms. I hardly see how the "death" of specific "organisms" changes that fact. 



  • @smxlong said:

    @djork said:

    An area grocery store (Giant) has its own brand of organic and healthy foods. It's called "Nature's Promise." Unfortunately, there's only one reasonable answer to the question of "what [i]is[/i] nature's promise?"

    Death!

    Death is a human concept, not a natural one. Consider a colony of yeast cells

    *snip*

    What does nature promise? It seems to promise the continuation of life in all its forms. I hardly see how the "death" of specific "organisms" changes that fact.

    OK, so nature's only promise is that something will eventually come along and eat/absorb/process you and, should you happen to be an organism with mental functions, you die in the philosophical sense.  Is that acceptable?



  • Except for the fact that there are plants/colonies/collections which, although the original parts of the 'organism' have long diminished - even been "eaten, absorbed or processed", even by the thing itself - have survived various major climactic shifts over the eons, and seem no closer to their end even now.....

    (examples include fungal colonies under certain forests that predate the forests themselves, and have migrated with the forests and spinifex circles that grow by runners, inching their way out until they are hundreds of meters across.) 



  • Is everybody deliberately ignoring the fact that the brand name refers to 'promise' not as in, "I promise that I will give you a car" but as in, "Reviews of this car show promise" - or are you coder types here so literal you really can't figure it out? :P



  • @freelancer said:

    There's a company here in Sweden called Emo Office Supplies...

    Emo Oil Ltd

    How to make your car hate you.



  • Emo Oil delivers here in the UK, too. In fact we just had a delivery of 1,200 litres of emo oil. We cry a lot.



  • @Quietust said:

    Sorry, you fail. That's stretching it a bit too far.
    One could also argue that being born and paying taxes are also guaranteed.

     

    He is right: There are only two things certain in life: Death and Taxes!

    However what IS nature's promise? Is it death? well yea, but most likely that you will pay taxes on that food! :) 



  • @phelyan said:

    Emo Oil delivers here in the UK, too. In fact we just had a delivery of 1,200 litres of emo oil. We cry a lot.

    You did notice that the photo has a UK number plate, right? ;-)



  • The real WTF is that "Nature's Promise" is simply a name made up by marketroids and has absolutely no meaning whatsoever.  They just put a word associated with "organically grown" products ("nature") together with a word having a positive connotation ("promise").  The "promise" is probably supposed to be associated with Giant's reputation, not nature itself.   That being said, I like the earthy color schemes in the aisle and they sell a nice brand of organic frozen waffles that beats anyone's.  Yum.



  • @Lingerance said:

    The original product name was Natural Selection, but obviously very few people bought that.


    lolz!

    @asuffield said:
    And you might not be a mammal. Trees are never born.


    Unless you define "born" as expulsion form the parent organism.

    @smxlong said:
    What does nature promise? It seems to promise the continuation of life in all its forms.


    I think life needs some Escrow, then.

    @PeriSoft said:
    Is everybody deliberately ignoring the fact that the brand name refers to 'promise' not as in, "I promise that I will give you a car" but as in, "Reviews of this car show promise"


    There's no real difference. It's a suggestion of an expected future state of the universe, with varying levels of trustworthiness. A promise is a promise. :) You distinguish the "car show promise" for its extremely low level of trustworthiness, classifying it as a lie?

    Nature's Lie

    That'll sell! 


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