Just in case the first one is broken.
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Just one line for you:
If someUri.IsFile OrElse [String].CompareOrdinal(someUri.Scheme.ToLower(System.Globalization.CultureInfo.CurrentCulture), "file") = 0 Then
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Now I'm a file, now I'm FILE_NOT_FOUND. Now I'm a file, now I'm FILE_NOT_FOUND.
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echo >> FILE_NOT_FOUND