You can't do any better than that?



  • Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     



  • @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     


    Let me see if I got this straight: there were 10 vehicle thefts (out of 17 0704 attempts) of '96 Plymouth Voyagers, and this beat the current record established by B4 8300 Montgomery RD ?



  • @Zecc said:

    @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     


    Let me see if I got this straight: there were 10 vehicle thefts (out of 17 0704 attempts) of '96 Plymouth Voyagers, and this beat the current record established by B4 8300 Montgomery RD ?

    The cops on Beat B4 have a really great track record.  Not only have they stopped potential thieves from stealing this car 99.994% of the time, the other .006% of the time, they have obviously recovered the car since it could be stolen again.



  • @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 



  • @Zecc said:

    @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     


    Let me see if I got this straight: there were 10 vehicle thefts (out of 17 0704 attempts) of '96 Plymouth Voyagers, and this beat the current record established by B4 8300 Montgomery RD ?

     

    No, it's just one theft/attempt.  The numbers are beat/time/date/etc.



  • @djork said:

    No, it's just one theft/attempt.  The numbers are beat/time/date/etc.

    Sorry, my humor detector is broken. 



  • Could you explain where the fun is. I see a bunch of text and numbers, and don't understand what it means, nor what is funny in this report....



  • Dates?  I didn't think they were tracking car thefts on October 17 of the year 0704AD



  • @djork said:

    The numbers are beat/time/date/etc.

    @define: beat said:

    <font size="-1">[...]</font>

    <font size="-1">a regular route for a sentry or policeman; "in the old days a policeman walked a beat and knew all his people by name"</font>

    [...]

    Oh. 



  • @Albatross said:

    Dates?  I didn't think they were tracking car thefts on October 17 of the year 0704AD

    So it's not a '96 Plymouth Voyager, but really a 96 Plymouth Voyager.

    (sorry for double posting) 



  • @Albatross said:

    Dates?  I didn't think they were tracking car thefts on October 17 of the year 0704AD

    Guards!  Some braggart has made off with my chariot!  It was a bronze coloured, 696 Voyager.



  • @tchize said:

    Could you explain where the fun is. I see a bunch of text and numbers, and don't understand what it means, nor what is funny in this report....

    What's funny is that someone tried to steal an eleven year old minivan...

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.



  • @djork said:

    @tchize said:

    Could you explain where the fun is. I see a bunch of text and numbers, and don't understand what it means, nor what is funny in this report....

    What's funny is that someone tried to steal an eleven year old minivan...

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.

     Cars like that are actually more valuable to criminals because:

    1) They're less conspicuous when running from the police.
    2) Older cars break more, and are thus in higher demand at chop shops



  • 3) Older cars typically don't have anti-theft devices, built-in or after-market and are easier to steal.

    I would like to know why Belgariontheking sees The Rapist?  (You'll rue the day you crossed me, Trebeck!)



  • @djork said:

    @tchize said:

    Could you explain where the fun is. I see a bunch of text and numbers, and don't understand what it means, nor what is funny in this report....

    What's funny is that someone tried to steal an eleven year old minivan...

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.


    No, it's not, because a 1996 Voyager is actually useful transportation on today's roads while an old eMachine from 1996 wouldn't be very useful for anything but running old software.



  • @djork said:

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.

    I would kill for a stable windows 😃

    Ho wait, i still own a windows 95 licence.... 



  • @operagost said:

    @djork said:

    @tchize said:

    Could you explain where the fun is. I see a bunch of text and numbers, and don't understand what it means, nor what is funny in this report....

    What's funny is that someone tried to steal an eleven year old minivan...

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.


    No, it's not, because a 1996 Voyager is actually useful transportation on today's roads while an old eMachine from 1996 wouldn't be very useful for anything but running old software.

    A PHB might disagree, it's a perfectly functional machine capable of driving a 2000 user network as it acts as an AD server.



  • @tchize said:

    @djork said:

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.

    I would kill for a stable windows 😃

    Ho wait, i still own a windows 95 licence.... 

    Yep, 98 is for you...



  • @belgariontheking said:

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    I'm not sure which is the biggest WTF of your comment-- that you're in Cincinnati, that you're seeing a therapist, or that you just posted both of those facts online in an IT forum.



  • @purge said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    I'm not sure which is the biggest WTF of your comment-- that you're in Cincinnati, that you're seeing a therapist, or that you just posted both of those facts online in an IT forum.

    Wait, did I say therapist?  I meant crack dealer ... no, Porsche dealer.

    Phew, dodged one there! 



  • @purge said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    I'm not sure which is the biggest WTF of your comment-- that you're in Cincinnati, that you're seeing a therapist, or that you just posted both of those facts online in an IT forum.

    You've seen his avatar -- is there any doubt he needs professional help? 

    (All in good fun, man, all in good fun... wouldn't want you to waste a session dealing with petty online insults.) 



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    DUUDE!

    I wouldn't reveal some specific area in which you're going to be with any regularity... Haven't you been listening to TR?  HE WILL GET UR PERSONAL DETAILZ AND COME 2 UR TOWN AND HUNT UUUU!!!!!!!11one

     



  • @purge said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    I'm not sure which is the biggest WTF of your comment-- that you're in Cincinnati, that you're seeing a therapist, or that you just posted both of those facts online in an IT forum.

    Aren't all Americans in therapy these days?

     



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    Cincinnati?  Awww...

    From your avatar, (long hair, apparent love of metal) I thought you might be from Norway, with a name like Toki Wartooth or something.  Maybe I just watch too many cartoons...



  • @djork said:

    @tchize said:

    Could you explain where the fun is. I see a bunch of text and numbers, and don't understand what it means, nor what is funny in this report....

    What's funny is that someone tried to steal an eleven year old minivan...

    In geek terms: It's like breaking into someone's house to steal their eMachines desktop running Windows 98.

    Thieves often just STEAL. They go for what's easy, or what they see first, not what's good. I have friends who've had absolute junker bikes stolen, when there're much better ones about.



  • @Jetts said:

    @belgariontheking said:
    @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    Cincinnati?  Awww...

    From your avatar, (long hair, apparent love of metal) I thought you might be from Norway, with a name like Toki Wartooth or something.  Maybe I just watch too many cartoons...


    Well I'm halfway there.  I'm not a bumblebee.

    ("Toki Wartooth, Not a bumblebee," from the theme song and first episode).

    On a pretty severely side note, there's a radio promo here in Cincinnati where one of the morning show people showed up at this guy's apartment at 8:30 am with donuts.  He was dressed up as a Catholic schoolgirl.  Imagine being woken up to that.



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @Jetts said:
    @belgariontheking said:
    @djork said:

    Sometimes I read police bulletins for fun.  This one made me laugh out loud.

     

    VEHICLE THEFTS/ATTEMPTS
    Beat B4 8300 MONTGOMERY RD, 10/17 0704.
    96 Plymouth Voyager

     

    If that's in Cincinnati, that's right by my therapist.  Seriously, like 100 feet away. 

    Cincinnati?  Awww...

    From your avatar, (long hair, apparent love of metal) I thought you might be from Norway, with a name like Toki Wartooth or something.  Maybe I just watch too many cartoons...


    Well I'm halfway there.  I'm not a bumblebee.

    ("Toki Wartooth, Not a bumblebee," from the theme song and first episode).

    On a pretty severely side note, there's a radio promo here in Cincinnati where one of the morning show people showed up at this guy's apartment at 8:30 am with donuts.  He was dressed up as a Catholic schoolgirl.  Imagine being woken up to that.

    I don't have to imagine it, buddy; I live it.  I really ought to move that mirror away from my bed... or at least stop sleeping in a schoolgirl outfit. 



  • @djork said:

    What's funny is that someone tried to steal an eleven year old minivan...

    Except that this isn't unusual (or funny) at all. I live in Winnipeg, a city often called the "auto theft capital of Canada", because for several years we've had the highest per capita auto theft rate in the country. The top 2 vehicles stolen? Dodge Caravans and Plymouth Voyagers (here's the top 10 list). They're apparently easy to steal (particularly older ones), and there are lots of them around, so they're easy targets.

    I don't know what it's like in other cities, but here, most stolen cars don't end up getting kept or sold, for parts or otherwise. They get driven around for a while and abandoned, typically vandalized, when the thief decides he's had enough fun for the night or feels like stealing something else. Minivans work just as well as any other vehicles for that purpose.



  • I've often wondered what I would do with a stolen car.  I have been inspired by the movie "Shoot-em-up."

    1.  Run people off the road that don't use their turn signal to change lanes (or use it after they've started merging into the next lane)

    2.  Slam into people who can't park between the lines

    3.  Slam into people who cut me off, with or without a turn signal.   

    any others?
     



  • @belgariontheking said:

    2.  Slam into people who can't park between the lines

    Or give those pricks that park their Porches (or any car...) in four spaces at once in the middle of the parking lot the "door dings" you've always wanted...



  • @belgariontheking said:

    I've often wondered what I would do with a stolen car.  I have been inspired by the movie "Shoot-em-up."

    1.  Run people off the road that don't use their turn signal to change lanes (or use it after they've started merging into the next lane)

    2.  Slam into people who can't park between the lines

    3.  Slam into people who cut me off, with or without a turn signal.   

    any others?
     

    Old people driving too slow? 



  • @Zecc said:

    @djork said:

    The numbers are beat/time/date/etc.

    @define: beat said:

    <font size="-1">[...]</font>

    <font size="-1">a regular route for a sentry or policeman; "in the old days a policeman walked a beat and knew all his people by name"</font>

    [...]

    Oh. 

    You obviously didn't look it up in the Offishul Polis Dictionary:

    @define: beat said:

    <font size="-1">[...]</font>

    <font size="-1">what we weren't doing to the suspect when he accidentally fell down the stairs.
    </font>

    [...]

    As the old saying goes, "Help you local police: Beat yourself up."



  • @belgariontheking said:

    I've often wondered what I would do with a stolen car.  I have been inspired by the movie "Shoot-em-up."

    1.  Run people off the road that don't use their turn signal to change lanes (or use it after they've started merging into the next lane)

    2.  Slam into people who can't park between the lines

    3.  Slam into people who cut me off, with or without a turn signal.   

    any others?

    Brian, we'll talk about this during Monday's session.  Does 11:30 still work for you? 

    -Dr. Richards 



  • @purge said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    I've often wondered what I would do with a stolen car.  I have been inspired by the movie "Shoot-em-up."

    1.  Run people off the road that don't use their turn signal to change lanes (or use it after they've started merging into the next lane)

    2.  Slam into people who can't park between the lines

    3.  Slam into people who cut me off, with or without a turn signal.   

    any others?

    Brian, we'll talk about this during Monday's session.  Does 11:30 still work for you? 

    -Dr. Richards 

    I see how it is.  You want to ambush me outside of my therapist's office because you know where it is.  You just have to make sure I'm there at a certain time. 

    Well to that I say "Okay."  11:30.  Don't cut me off on my way into the parking lot.  I'll be driving a stolen car. 



  • @belgariontheking said:

    any others?

    Rear-end the twats who don't move out of the overtaking lane when the inside lane is clear, and force you have to undertake them to pass.

    Take out the the lorry driver who thinks it's acceptable to attempt to overtake that other lorry doing .01 mph less than they are. When there are only two lanes.



  • There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    Seriously, if you did that while, like, in line for the bank or something, you'd either get told off by the teller or punched out by a customer or something.  People think they can do whatever the fuck they want in their cars though...  And everyone is all like "wow, this road rage stuff is crazy, what's causing it?" when they don't think about the fact that if you were to treat someone in person with the same lack of courtesy you treat them when you're in your car, you'd probably get into a fight there too.  😞 



  • @PJH said:

    @belgariontheking said:

    any others?

    Rear-end the twats who don't move out of the overtaking lane when the inside lane is clear, and force you have to undertake them to pass.

    Take out the the lorry driver who thinks it's acceptable to attempt to overtake that other lorry doing .01 mph less than they are. When there are only two lanes.

    "Lorry?" "Overtaking lane?"  Quit making terms up.

     @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    And that's why in those situations I straddle both lanes.  My dickery cannot be bested.
     



  • @bstorer said:

     @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least)
    reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and
    ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open
    lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the
    end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not
    douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    And that's why in those situations I straddle both lanes.  My dickery cannot be bested.

    Wasn't the Batmobile able to spill oil out of its backside to help elude attackers?  Nah, it's robably more likely that the enemies of Batman would have it.  Anyways, install that in your (stolen) car, but have it spray only into the next lane.  Then watch as the buffoons try to slow down. 
     



  • @belgariontheking said:

    @bstorer said:

     @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least)
    reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and
    ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open
    lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the
    end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not
    douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    And that's why in those situations I straddle both lanes.  My dickery cannot be bested.

    Wasn't the Batmobile able to spill oil out of its backside to help elude attackers?  Nah, it's robably more likely that the enemies of Batman would have it.  Anyways, install that in your (stolen) car, but have it spray only into the next lane.  Then watch as the buffoons try to slow down.

    If you're plans typically involve Batman as source material, you're in for a lot of disappointment. 



  • @bstorer said:

    @PJH said:
    @belgariontheking said:

    any others?

    Rear-end the twats who don't move out of the overtaking lane when the inside lane is clear, and force you have to undertake them to pass.

    Take out the the lorry driver who thinks it's acceptable to attempt to overtake that other lorry doing .01 mph less than they are. When there are only two lanes.

    "Lorry?" "Overtaking lane?"  Quit making terms up.

    UK "Highway Code". A WTF in itself since earlier this year they tried to ban drivers from smoking earlier this year based on a recent change made to it.

     @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    And that's why in those situations I straddle both lanes.  My dickery cannot be bested.
     

    Only works when the twat behind you doesn't pull into your space because you've gone too far into the lane that's ending.


  • @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    Seriously, if you did that while, like, in line for the bank or something, you'd either get told off by the teller or punched out by a customer or something.  People think they can do whatever the fuck they want in their cars though...  And everyone is all like "wow, this road rage stuff is crazy, what's causing it?" when they don't think about the fact that if you were to treat someone in person with the same lack of courtesy you treat them when you're in your car, you'd probably get into a fight there too.  😞 

    My favorite driving moment in recent memory was when someone was trying to get ahead of a huge line of cars like this.  I pulled my usual, "Not in front of me you don't!" and pulled up to the bumper of the guy in front of me.  For the first time ever, the person ahead of me pulled up to the person ahead of him, and the next car did too.  The four of us drive quickly by the idiot who had to get home 20 seconds earlier than us, and he had to force his way in somewhere else.



  • @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    What about the people that see that a lane is [i]opening[/i], and traffic isn't moving as fast as absolutely possible, so they drive ON THE SHOULDER to get to the exit?  I watched FIVE M-Fing PEOPLE do that yesterday.  And I mean they jumped out of traffic about a quarter mile ahead.  This is not a third-world war-zone, but the morons sure do drive like it is. 

    The spot illustrated below is fun because you'll be sitting there and whoosh Passat, then whoosh Porsche SUV... all the while dreaming up a device to safely and quickly let the air out of tires (unattended).  I've almost got the design for it down.

    [URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/1247/howjerksdriveid3.png[/IMG][/URL]


     



  • @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    You’re supposed to merge WHEN the lane ends, not half a mile or two miles or whatever before the first sign indicating it will. People who merge early are contributing to more traffic congestion, and several state highway departments have started enforcing this. If some people want to be stupid assholes, that’s their problem - I’ll do what I can to reduce congestion by using the empty lane. The Law’s on our side, bitches. As for the bank analogy, if you’re waiting in one line, and the other line's empty, do you bitch at the person who decides to go in the shorter line? There are TWO lines, just because you’re too ignorant to see that doesn’t mean that the people who use the other line are doing anything wrong..



  • @djork said:

    TRWTF = you censored the road names. It’s a highway, not your house. Hell, we don’t even know if it’s near where you live, near you work, or somewhere you vacationed once, so even wanting to hide what city you live in isn’t a reason. Lame.
    /wanted to see the satellite view



  • @Random832 said:

    @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    You’re supposed to merge WHEN the lane ends, not half a mile or two miles or whatever before the first sign indicating it will.

    With all due respect, bollocks. What's the point of those signs if not to tell you to merge if you just ignore them? The bollards/cones/whatever are a last resort to those who can't be bothered reading those signs.

     People who merge early are contributing to more traffic congestion, [snip]

    Again, WADR, bollocks. The congestion will happen regardless. Whether it's where the cones start or 1 or 5  miles before, it'l happen. Those that drive looking ahead a mile or so will be more aware of it than those that try to queue jump. And that's what they're viewed as - queue jumpers.



  • @PJH said:

    With all due respect, bollocks. What's the point of those signs if not to tell you to merge if you just ignore them? The bollards/cones/whatever are a last resort to those who can't be bothered reading those signs.

    There isn’t a sign telling you to “merge now” until the merge point. Pennsylvania actually posts signs telling you not to merge until the merge point. If they wanted you to merge back there, they’d have closed the lane back there, dumbass.

    People who merge early are contributing to more traffic congestion, [snip]

    Again, WADR, bollocks. The congestion will happen regardless.

    If you pretend that the merge “should” happen sooner than where the highway department (which knows better than you) actually closed the lane, that decreases the total number of available lane-miles in the road, and backs up traffic to a greater degree behind where you are, thus making people who aren’t even going to the part of the road beyond the merge point have to wait longer to turn.

    If there’s only one queue, that queue will have to be twice as long as when there are two. That means there is more road being affected by the traffic congestion. By using the right lane, I’m doing my part to make the wait shorter for people who are going to turn off further back.



  • @bstorer said:

    @PJH said:
    @belgariontheking said:

    any others?

    Rear-end the twats who don't move out of the overtaking lane when the inside lane is clear, and force you have to undertake them to pass.

    Take out the the lorry driver who thinks it's acceptable to attempt to overtake that other lorry doing .01 mph less than they are. When there are only two lanes.

    "Lorry?" "Overtaking lane?"  Quit making terms up.

     @misguided said:

    There is a special circle of hell (metaphorically speaking at least) reserved for people who can see that the lane ahead is ending, and ignore the signage and the giant line of cars traveling in the open lane, and ZOOM AHEAD in the lane that's going to close right up to the end of it and then FORCE THEIR WAY IN past all the cars that were not douches and were waiting their turn like ordinary citizens.

    And that's why in those situations I straddle both lanes.  My dickery cannot be bested.
     

    The real WTF is the term 'undertaking'.

    Undertaking is preparing a corpse for a funeral.  

    Overtaking is passing somebody, regardless of the side you do it.


     



  • @Random832 said:

    @PJH said:

    With all due respect, bollocks. What's the point of those signs if not to tell you to merge if you just ignore them? The bollards/cones/whatever are a last resort to those who can't be bothered reading those signs.

    There isn’t a sign telling you to “merge now” until the merge point. Pennsylvania actually posts signs telling you not to merge until the merge point. If they wanted you to merge back there, they’d have closed the lane back there, dumbass.

    People who merge early are contributing to more traffic congestion, [snip]

    Again, WADR, bollocks. The congestion will happen regardless.

    If you pretend that the merge “should” happen sooner than where the highway department (which knows better than you) actually closed the lane, that decreases the total number of available lane-miles in the road, and backs up traffic to a greater degree behind where you are, thus making people who aren’t even going to the part of the road beyond the merge point have to wait longer to turn.

    If there’s only one queue, that queue will have to be twice as long as when there are two. That means there is more road being affected by the traffic congestion. By using the right lane, I’m doing my part to make the wait shorter for people who are going to turn off further back.

     

    So THIS is what it looks like inside the mind of one of those self-important drivers that likes to risk everyone else's life by cutting people off at the last second...

    I never dreamed that they ACTUALLY justified it to themselves, I just assumed they were all drunk.

    Spectacular! 



  • @Quinnum said:

    The real WTF is the term 'undertaking'.

    Undertaking is preparing a corpse for a funeral. 

    That's a relatively accurate description of what people do when they pass on the wrong side. Admittedly it's a bit earlier in the "preparation" than the word is usually used to describe. 



  • @Random832 said:

    You’re supposed to merge WHEN the lane ends, not half a mile or two miles or whatever before the first sign indicating it will.

    This sentence is contradictory.

    Your defense of using the empty lane and calling anyone who waits there turn a "stupid asshole" makes it clear that you consider "WHEN the lane ends" to be when there are pylons or a sawhorse across it and you can physically drive no farther.  But then you say "half a mile or two miles or whatever before the first sign indicating it will", which no one is suggesting.  Most of the time, at least here, there's signage indicating that the lane is ending long before the lane actually ends.  If you can see that sign, you can and should respond to it.  Which is what the second half of your sentence implies, and does NOT defend the assholes who zoom past that sign, and a second sign if there is one, hit the breaks right at the cones and force their way over.  That's just bad behavior.

     

     

    As for the bank analogy, if you’re waiting in one line, and the other line's empty, do you bitch at the person who decides to go in the shorter line? There are TWO lines, just because you’re too ignorant to see that doesn’t mean that the people who use the other line are doing anything wrong..

    Uh... 

    That's not a sensical metaphor at all.

    I think you don't understand how to apply metaphors.

    If there are two lines that are actually open, it means there are two tellers, which would be akin to having two lanes open. 

    If there is only one lane open at the end, that means every car has to go through a single point, which would be akin to having two lines for one teller.  And I've never been in a bank or any queue anywhere that looked like that.  It makes zero sense.  Actually the only place I've seen a MI-SO relationship in real life is at a chair lift on a ski hill, where the lines are split up not into equal lines for the purposes of making the queue take up a smaller space, but split up into different group sizes so that triples can take a chair together and doubles can be paired with singles and so on, because the more full chairs the faster everyone gets up the hill.  But even in that case, though there's one chair, there's three or more spots to fill, whereas there's still only one space for a car to go through at a time in our scenario.  There's no overall efficiency improvement from stacking up two lines for one output unless space is at a premium, and perhaps if the lane that doesn't end has other turnoffs before the lane that doesn't end, that's a weak but valid point... But I'm talking about being up against a hard constant median with nowhere to go for a good 10 cars and having someone decide their time is more important than those other 10 carloads of people and, for lack of another equally apt term, "budding" those ten people in line.


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