Mr. Grunt

  • Just had another wonderful interview today. The WTFs abound.

    Let me start off by saying that this was an all-day affair. Tons of paperwork (completely pointless), several different "psychological" interviews (which were poorly administered), and of course, Mr. Grunt.

    I spent the first 2 hours filling out at least 30 pages of personal data. After completing 5 or so pages, I noticed a trend. They were asking for the same information, but in a different way. Personal info, job history, and education. Then personal info, education, and employment history. They would mix that up several times. And then throw in a request for salary history as a curveball. Lots of different forms all saying the same thing. I can't understand why a simple resume wouldn't suffice.

    A couple of the forms were a type of psych test, in essay format. One asked you to imagine a scenario where one of your fellow employees gets into trouble. How would you help them out? It didn't specify what sort of trouble. The other form asked if you had to choose between purchasing a car or paying half of your mortgage on the spot, which would you choose? That sounded like a definite trap question.

    After the paperwork came the one-on-one psychological tests. They even told me up front, "These are psychological tests. To see how you respond to different scenarios." The administrator of the tests looked like some bumbling intern they had hired for the day. He looked very unorganized and dropped the question sheets several times. He kept saying "This isn't part of the test. Really." As if that was supposed to make me feel more comfortable. When he read the questions, it was as if he was reading them for the first time. "Tell me how...uh...tell me how you would make a new employee feel at home." And then he would take 10-15 minutes to write down my answer. This went on for what felt like infinity.

    By this point I was exhausted and wanted to leave the interview. I knew I was never going to work at such a place. But something told me to stay and meet with the "resident C# expert". At least that's what they told me prior to coming in to the interview.

    It turned out the "resident C# expert" was "busy" and couldn't make it in. So they sent his project manager instead. (I know, project manager? WTF?!?) This guy walks in, looking all sweaty and gross. His clothes look like they were painted on. It looked like he pulled some "business casual" duds out of the closet just to meet with me. They were way too tight, and his tie was much too small for his neck. He looked severely uncomfortable. As he sat down, he let out a loud "Grunt!" It startled me somewhat because it sounded very gutteral. This guy went on, asking me very generic questions, in a very uncomfortable manner. He kept adjusting his tie and moving around in his seat. "Sloshing" around in his seat is more accurate. Ew. I just had a flashback. Anyways, I could tell that asking the questions was taking a toll on him physically. "Is everything ok?" I ask. "Grunt!" he responds. This time I'm a bit freaked out. Is he going to lunge across the table and try to strangle me? Finally he says, "Yeah, I'm ok. It's just a bit hot in here."

    The interview finishes up and I go home. Believe it or not, there was a message on my answering machine waiting for me. It was Mr. Grunt offering me the position.

    I didn't call back, nor do I plan to. GRUNT!!!

  • This was the only thing I could picture after you said his clothes looked like they were painted on....  

    (BTW, not work safe)
    painted on clothes

  • @tster said:

    This was the only thing I could picture after you said his clothes looked like they were painted on....  

    (BTW, not work safe)
    painted on clothes

    I'd do more than grunt if she showed up to interview me. 

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