Aunt Millie's Training Class



  • This has got to be one of the funniest WTF ever. To me at least. Because it's filled with so many different WTFs. Prepare for some laughs.

    The company I'm currently working for is, shall we say, behind the times. Upon hire, each employee is mandated to take an Access training class. I could get into the details of the hows and whys, but suffice it to say that it's the company way. On top of this, existing employees are allowed to attend this training class as a "refresher". I know, how lame is that.

    I'm the only one in the class under 55. And most of the little old ladies in there look to be in their 70s! It gets better...the class instructor introduces herself as the "leading Access 97 instructor in the Tri-State area". LOL!

    The class begins, and we go along our merry way, learning the finer points of Access 97...a decade after the fact.

    After our lunch break, the fun truly began.

    This little old lady, an employee with the company probably since its inception in 1939, starts to have trouble.

    Old Lady: Was that a right double-click or a left mouse click?

    Instructor: Ma'am, let me show you on the projector.

    Old Lady: This is confusing! Was I supposed to left-right mouse click? (starting to get frustrated now)

    Instructor: Ma'am, if you'll just follow along as I click...

    Old Lady: Show me at my desk! Come here!

    Instructor: Ooookay. (walks over and tries to grab her mouse to show her)

    Old Lady: No! I need to do this! Just tell me what to do!

    Instructor: Ma'am...click on the icon where...

    Old Lady: Was that a left or a right mouse click? Double click?

    Instructor: When we started the class you said you were one of the company's Access data entry people. You said you worked with this every day...

    Old Lady: (furious now) We did not come here to discuss my position or job title! Listen, we paid for this class...

    Instructor: (interrupting) Actually, your company did...

    Old Lady: WHAT?!? (This is where it gets hilarious - she starts banging the mouse up and down on the desk so hard that you start to hear bits and pieces come apart on the inside and start to rattle around) You-will-show-me-what-I-need-to-do-or-I-will-bring-this-directly-to-the-president!

    Instructor: Class, take a break while I work with her one-on-one, okay?

    We all file out of the room, most of us holding the laughter in. On the way out, all I heard was "Ma'am...ma'am..no ma'am...ma'am!" I never found out Aunt Millie's resolution, or if the instructor was able to help her at all. But I did see that poor mouse get a severe thrashing.

    So many WTFs...not to mention the company itself. It may be the lamest place I ever worked for.
     



  • What the fucking fuck?



  • @dhromed said:

    Worse than failing failure?

    Fixed that for you.



  • The real WTF is a trainer who won't just say "just a regular left-click" and be done with it.


    -cw



  • Is it still possible to get certified for Access 97?

    I'm thinking of getting my cert and contracting out my services to various unsuspecting companies.



  • @newguy said:

    Is it still possible to get certified for Access 97?

    I'm thinking of getting my cert and contracting out my services to various unsuspecting companies.

    If you are serious about it, there are some great books for you to pick up on eBay.

    Access 97 baby! Look! You can become a "Microsoft Office User Specialist"!



  • @CPound said:

    @newguy said:

    Is it still possible to get certified for Access 97?

    I'm thinking of getting my cert and contracting out my services to various unsuspecting companies.

    If you are serious about it, there are some great books for you to pick up on eBay.

    Access 97 baby! Look! You can become a "Microsoft Office User Specialist"!

    In FULL COLOR even! Amazing! 



  • @PSWorx said:

    In FULL COLOR even! Amazing! 

    What an age to be alive...

    -cw



  • TheDailyWTF should sell t-shirts that say "I'm a Certified Access 97 Trainer".

    I can picture some guy with a huge beer belly and an overgrown beard wearing one.

    "Hiccup! Yup, I wuz one of those there Access 97 trainers..." (picks his nose and belches)


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