Let's create DUMB PASSWORD RULES



  • If an incorrect password is entered more than 0 times, user must change their password on next login.



  • @anotherusername And if it passes all that verification, disallow as it is obviously a robot.



  • @anotherusername said in Let's create DUMB PASSWORD RULES:

    Passwords may only be changed or reset by calling Customer Service.

    Who will email it to you at the end of the call for your convenience.



  • @pleegwat
    Unfortunately your mail account password is only synced with your main account every 48 hours.



  • Password resets apply to all user accounts. Only one password per server installation.

    Usernames are to be used on login instead of passwords (Jef Raskin? Who is that, and why would he want to do it the other way around?)

    All password changes must first be forwarded to the deposed Prime Minister of Nigeria for confirmation before use.



  • Passwords may not be used more than three (3) times after which they must be changed. You may not change your password more than once per week.



  • @scholrlea said in Let's create DUMB PASSWORD RULES:

    Password must cut down a tree with a herring before being accepted.

    ...and must not contain the characters I and T in sequence.



  • A strong password is vital to the protection of your identity, but simple machine-enforced rules are not effective in ensuring strong passwords. To ensure your security, your requested password will be sent to a company in Kerblekistan where a real person will verify that it is sufficiently hard for a hacker to guess.

    You may rest assured that the highest standards of password security are enforced, as we also send your username, real name, previous passwords, date of birth, place of birth, mother's maiden name, and pet's name, to allow common security pitfalls to be detected.

    Password change will not take effect until password has been verified.



  • Password must not be the same as any other password you use.
    Please enter all your passwords for

    • social media
    • email
    • banking
    • online shopping
    • entertainment

    At least one entry in each category is required. For verification purposes, we also require your usernames.

    For your convenience, if you use a password manager, click here to provide your master password instead.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @carrievs
    Mildly disappointed that here isn't a link to zombocom.


  • kills Dumbledore

    Passwords are deemed insecure. We will be using biometrics from now on, specifically Iris scans

    Iris pattern must be changed every 9.0 days



  • @izzion said in Let's create DUMB PASSWORD RULES:

    @carrievs
    Mildly disappointed that here isn't a link to zombocom.

    Sorry. Link is now a link.


  • kills Dumbledore

    Password must score over 90 in our custom complexity algorithm.

    The algorithm is, sum(ascii value of each character) mod 100



  • Password must contain your Social Security number



  • Your username is your software license number, visible within the software.

    Your password is the email address you used to purchase the license. This cannot be changed.

    You use these to when you install it, when a software or OS update makes it want to check in with the server, and when you purchase add-ons for the software.


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    Password must use the Shift-JIS encoding.
    Password cannot be trademarked.
    Password must be approved by our Password Approval Team which we've outsourced to India.
    Password must be the same as at least one of your other passwords.
    Password must be artistic in some way.
    Password must be some sequence from the Bee Movie script.
    Password must not contain zero-width joiners because we haven't nailed down emoji rendering yet.
    Password must be pasted from the clipboard and cannot be typed directly.



  • WE'VE BEEN OUTDONE!


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