The Matrix: MilwaukeePC version



  • The rule of this topic is simple:
    #1 - you take a Matrix quote, and change it to include the fact that MilwaukeePC is the connection provider.

    Some examples:

    Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay on MilwaukeePC and I show you how slow your connection really is.
    ...

    Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to slowly upload through your crappy MilwaukeePC connection.

    ...

    Neo: What are you doing?
    Trinity: I'm going with you.
    Neo: No you're not.
    Trinity: No?
    Neo: There is no chance in hell we have enough bandwidth to transfer both of us, we're connected with MilwaukeePC.
    Trinity: Oh :sadface:

    ...

    Trinity: I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I didn't have enough bandwidth to play with him because I'm on MilwaukeePC.


  • kills Dumbledore

    I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until you've used up so many resources Milwaukee PC is the fastest internet you can manage



  • Rhineheart: The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be on a faster connection than MilwaukeePC from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself clear?



  • "Here you go, buddy, MilwaukeePC."

    "If you close your eyes, it almost feels like you have an Internet connection."

    "Yeah, or a bowl of snot."

    "Do you know what it really reminds me of? Dialup. Did you ever use dialup?"

    "No, but technically, neither did you."



  • "I hate this connection. This zoo. This prison. MilwaukeePC, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it."



  • It seems that you've been living two lives. One life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you... help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias "Neo" and are a customer of the slowest internet access on Earth. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.



  • "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're connected to the Internet or just sending packets into a black hole?"

    "All the time. It's called MilwaukeePC, it's the only way to fly."



  • Morpheus: Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the URL and accessing the URL when you're on MilwaukeePC.



  • "Ju Jitsu? I'm going to learn Ju Jitsu?"
    "Yeah. In... Three days, seventeen hours, it says."


    "Mister Anderson, what good is a phone call if your mom will get pissed at you for cutting off the Internet?"


    "I've seen an agent punch through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire clips at them and hit nothing but air. So all in all, don't play Counter-Strike on Milwaukee PC".



  • Cypher: Morpheus, I know what you believe but I think this is a mistake. We're rushing him. He's old. I'm afraid he might pop.
    Morpheus: Haven't I always told you, Cypher, not to let fear control your life. Apoc, are we on-line?
    Apoc: Almost. It's not my fault that MilwaukeePC connection is so slow...



  • Is that...
    "Porn? Yeah."
    Do you always look at it in ASCII?
    "Well, you have to. The image translators work for the construct program, but there's way too much information for MilwaukeePC to transfer. You get used to it. I don't even see the code. All I see is blonde, brunette, redhead."



  • The Keymaker: There is a building. Inside this building there is a level where no elevator can go, and no stair can reach. This level is filled with doors. These doors lead to many places. Hidden places. But one door is special. One door leads to MilwaukeePC.



  • Dodge
    :clock1:
    :clock4:
    :clock730:
    this



  • Morpheus: . Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if the prophecy is true? What if tomorrow the download could be over? Isn't that worth waiting for?
    Neo: that can't be, we're on MilwaukeePC



  • Morpheus: ...and after a century of waiting I remember that which matters most: we are still WAITING.
    Thanks MilwaukeePC



  • Link: Trinity, we're talking less then 5 minutes here.
    Trinity: In five minutes on a normal connection, but we're on MilwaukeePC.



  • Morpheus: Link?
    Link: Yessir?
    Morpheus: Given your situation, I can't say I fully understand your reasons for choosing MilwaukeePC. However, if you wish to continue to do so, I must ask you to do one thing.
    Link: What's that, sir?
    Morpheus: ...buy a bunch of homing pigeons and implement RFC1149.
    Link: Yessir. I will, sir.



  • The Architect: The first matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect. It was a work of art. Flawless. Sublime. A triumph only equaled by its monumental failure because I connected it through MilwaukeePC.



  • Neo: How long to recharge the "Neb"?
    Trinity: 24, maybe 30, hours.
    Neo: Some people go their entire lives without hearing news that good. Why did we choose MilwaukeePC ?



  • @NedFodder said in The Matrix: MilwaukeePC version:

    It seems that you've been living two lives. One life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you... help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias "Neo@blubar" and are a customer of the slowest internet access on Earth. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.

    C'mon!


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