Making fun of HackerNews comments


  • area_pol

    Satirical summaries of comments on the popular news aggregator hackernews.com. The style is very fitting for TDWTF, we should invite the author here.

    The Rust Evangelism Strike Force is on hand to point out that Rust obviates all need to understand how computers work.

    SpaceX concludes anomaly investigation, sets return to flight target date
    The Muskonauts figured out why their shit exploded. Hackernews, literally all of whom are actual rocket scientists, wonders if unit tests could have helped.

    Google and Facebook ad traffic is 90% useless
    A webshit, based on his hobby project, decides that the entire web advertising market is a lie. He's right, but for the wrong reasons. Hackernews trades tips on convincing themselves their entire industry isn't a sack of bullshit.

    How I got my attention back
    Yet another dickhead mouths off on the internet about how he is better than other people because he stopped using his iPad for a while. Hackernews abstains from electric light, which further blurs the already weak borderline between 'hipster' and 'amish.' Both the author and Hackernews, having reclaimed their attention spans, waste it on stupid bullshit.

    Some rich asshole shits out ten thousand words amounting to "CEOs lead companies." Hackernews thoughtfully ruminates on this enlightening revelation. After deep consideration of the rich asshole's momentous words, Hackernews concludes: CEOs do lead companies. This man must be a genius. What other secrets are his to reveal?

    New Macbook Pro power efficiency and time remaining
    A fanboy posts counterpropaganda attacking those who insult Apple. Hackernews is full of mechanical engineers, so they spend some time reconstructing Apple's design process from first principles. Conclusion: everything Apple does is correct. If it seems incorrect to you, that means you don't fully understand the problem.

    A Guide to the Breads of India
    Hackernews, suddenly the world's leading repository of bread expertise, is not certain what 'bread' actually is. This goes a long way toward explaining the software they produce.

    Making SQL Server run on Linux
    Microsoft's database software depends directly on the Windows NT kernel. Instead of fixing that, they wrote an emulation layer to translate ABI calls to Linux calls. Hackernews is deeply impressed with the elegance of this shitshow. A late-1990s-style flamewar breaks out when the Knights of Linux invade the Windows on the Mount.

    Nintendo releases original Zelda design docs
    Nintendo advertises their new game on their blog by posting pictures of a previous, better game. Hackernews splits up into two camps to fight about whether it's better to design a program and then write it, or write a program and then design it. Nobody wins, including you or me.

    SHA-1 collider: Make your own colliding PDFs
    Hackernews resumes a previous thread, wherein they admonish each other never to 'roll your own crypto', but rolling your own public-facing internet service, database backend, programming language, kernel, messaging protocol, orbital launcher, autonomous war robot, or legal document is completely fine.

    There are many more there, but those small snippets of text are hidden in an elaborate directory structure. This helps http://n-gate.com/sitemap, at least a bit.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Adynathos said in Making fun of HackerNews comments:

    fitting for TDWTF, we should invite the author here.

    Do you still get a badge if they actually join?



  • We should have a topic like this for TDWTF.



  • It would be hard to keep up with topic drift.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @Tsaukpaetra said in Making fun of HackerNews comments:

    Do you still get a badge if they actually join?

    Only a :badger: these days.



  • This post is deleted!


  • @Tsaukpaetra said in Making fun of HackerNews comments:

    Do you still get a badge if they actually join?

    Yes, but you have to make it yourself.



  • Poking around this more and reading some of the snarky commentary around one of the FOSDEM itineraries, I found this gem:

    Discourse development for (complete) beginners
    From a recent beginner to everyone else

    Ruby webforum shit. Disregard.



  • Meh, it's one of those blogs where one angry person feels superior by insulting everyone else. It's not witty, it's just "fuck you". Hackernews says a lot of stupid things, but if you decide to hate a group of internet strangers so much that you start assuming everything they like must suck, you end up being much worse than them.

    It's like that blog, xkcdsucks, where one person has been writing detailed explanations every day for years about how the latest xkcd comic is not funny. Like, what kind of life must you have to devote all this time to being this angry at silly online diversions.



  • @anonymous234 said in Making fun of HackerNews comments:

    It's like that blog, xkcdsucks, where one person has been writing detailed explanations every day for years about how the latest xkcd comic is not funny. Like, what kind of life must you have to devote all this time to being this angry at silly online diversions.

    last updated Sunday, August 9, 2015

    Darn.


  • area_pol

    @anonymous234 said in Making fun of HackerNews comments:

    Meh, it's one of those blogs where one angry person feels superior by insulting everyone else.
    ... if you decide to hate a group of internet strangers so much that you start assuming everything they like must suck, you end up being much worse than them.

    I do not think that blog is an expression of genuine hate towards HN.
    The point is to make something amusing for the reader, using comments as inspiration.

    xkcdsucks, where one person has been writing detailed explanations every day for years about how the latest xkcd comic is not funny

    In constrast to "xkcd sucks", here there are no mundane rants, every entry is at most a few sentences, in a carefully crafted style, and it does not push its own "right" opinion.

    It is completely understandable that you do not find this entertaining, people have different tastes. But for me this is clearly a satirical work, not an insult. This pattern of exaggerated negative opinion is a standard tool in entertainment, for example in AVGN.


  • Impossible Mission Players - A

    @Adynathos said in Making fun of HackerNews comments:

    example in AVGN.

    TIL James Nintendo Nerd became a Standard tool in entertainment. :thumbsup_tone2:


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