Open office plan WTF



  • Of course we know this is an obvious WTF. Too much noise, people walking behind you, and more of "communication" goodies where you can only concentrate on your work when everyone else goes home.

    But today it hit a new low for me.

    Some managers just love to stop by my desk and talk among themselves. It's mildly annoying, but it's an almost acceptable evil. Today, however, while talking, one of them was nonchalant enough to lean his ass on my desk while I was working at it.

    LEAN. ON. MY. DESK.
    While I was working on it.

    I mean, how am I even meant to, if there's other bloke's crotch just to the right of me? And he wasn't even talking to me.

    Maybe he wants to tell me I'm so useless they are going to blatantly ignore me, I dunno. He's a manager, so I may also need to revise my books to amend my personal definition "professional conduct", so it does include "leaning my ass on other peoples' desks while they try to get their fucking jobs done".



  • I think the spilling of some extremely hot coffee may be in order.


  • SockDev

    @da-Doctah said in Open office plan WTF:

    I think the spilling of some extremely hot coffee may be in order.

    nah. get a decorative desk trim of two parallel copper bands. all pretty and nice and hooked up to a Red Snap'r



  • @wft Headphones. Preferably closed over ear. They do a decent job of muffling noise even without music playing


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @JazzyJosh said in Open office plan WTF:

    @wft Headphones. Preferably closed over ear. They do a decent job of muffling noise even without music playing

    What, to put over his eyes?



  • @pydsigner Yeah, I can't help with the asshole sitting on my desk problem.



  • In my country, cubicle farms are basically not a thing. Cardboard walls cost money.

    My current workplace not only has open-plan floorplates, but all the floorplates have one side open to a central atrium that spans all three stories of the building and links it to the one next door. And this is one of the smallest buildings on the site: some of them have four floors and three connected buildings. Whether it's purely the size and number of people working effectively in one room or something about the acoustics (bare metal girders everywhere, which is modern and trendy and I'm sure it's just a coincidence that it also costs less not to cover them with anything) contributes to the noise level I don't really know, but it's pretty bad.

    And we don't even have dividers between desks that back onto each other.



  • @wft I hate that, but also consider butting into their inane conversation to contribute irrelevant opinions. Either they'll start avoiding your desk, or you'll be the guy who all the managers talk to, which means you're due for promotion.


  • area_pol

    @wft Did you ask him to move?


  • SockDev

    @JazzyJosh said in Open office plan WTF:

    @pydsigner Yeah, I can't help with the asshole sitting on my desk problem.

    my suggestion will!




  • SockDev

    @r10pez10 said in Open office plan WTF:

    if that tape's conductive it will work just fine.... :-P



  • @accalia said in Open office plan WTF:

    @r10pez10 said in Open office plan WTF:

    if that tape's conductive it will work just fine.... :-P

    It looks like someone used one of those WordArt gradients from Microsoft Word 2003.


  • BINNED

    @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    Of course we know this is an obvious WTF. Too much noise, people walking behind you, and more of "communication" goodies where you can only concentrate on your work when everyone else goes home.

    But today it hit a new low for me.

    Some managers just love to stop by my desk and talk among themselves. It's mildly annoying, but it's an almost acceptable evil. Today, however, while talking, one of them was nonchalant enough to lean his ass on my desk while I was working at it.

    LEAN. ON. MY. DESK.
    While I was working on it.

    I mean, how am I even meant to, if there's other bloke's crotch just to the right of me? And he wasn't even talking to me.

    Maybe he wants to tell me I'm so useless they are going to blatantly ignore me, I dunno. He's a manager, so I may also need to revise my books to amend my personal definition "professional conduct", so it does include "leaning my ass on other peoples' desks while they try to get their fucking jobs done".

    Fuck Open Office and whoever first started it. It is to maximize the cattle per squared meter, to squeeze for more codez.



  • @ben_lubar said in Open office plan WTF:

    WordArt

    0_1477118219269_upload-ead107ec-6f14-4dc6-a2a7-fe17af1fc329


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @dse said in Open office plan WTF:

    Fuck Open Office and whoever first started it.

    Sun, I believe. Or StarDivision if you want to go back to its predecessor.


  • BINNED

    @CarrieVS said in Open office plan WTF:

    And we don't even have dividers between desks that back onto each other.

    Wow. I've never worked somewhere that bad



  • @Luhmann recently, one of my teammates sent an email with some lines in pink Comic Sans font. The response came as a rainbow-colored WordArt surrounded with unicorns.



  • @Gąska

    Approved!

    Next: animated gifs



  • @JazzyJosh said in Open office plan WTF:

    @wft Headphones. Preferably closed over ear. They do a decent job of muffling noise even without music playing

    Or a pair of industrial ear muffs if you want to make your point clear.


  • area_can

    @anonymous234 said in Open office plan WTF:

    @JazzyJosh said in Open office plan WTF:

    @wft Headphones. Preferably closed over ear. They do a decent job of muffling noise even without music playing

    Or a pair of industrial ear muffs if you want to make your point clear.

    0_1477138169318_selfportrait-bandaged.jpg



  • @bb36e industrial grade, not industrial age!



  • @CarrieVS Can't you just procure some cardboard at a supermarket's dumpster? Old boxes and other such.


  • Fake News

    @wft isn't Carrie in Germany, one of those countries that recycle everything?



  • Of course fuck open plans and other such. That's a given.

    However, if you've got into one and for some reason cannot change jobs for a while, there's some etiquette. Or so I thought. People still have their private zones and they still need to concentrate, against all odds. So you're considerate of them and make your presence as unconspicuous as you can.

    But managers don't think like that. They forgot how to code (if they ever coded at all) long ago, and they work mainly by shuffling emails around, wielding PowerPoint, and doing meetings. "People stuff". The heaviest tool they ever lift is MS Excel, where they draw pretty charts to impress higher-ups.

    So, hey, it's so fun to communicate! Let's shove this people-to-people communication right in everyone's face!



  • @lolwhat ok, then you can get a bargain... In a country where recycling is a god, isn't reuse a good thing? They pay actual money for recycling, so giving cardboard away for free isn't a sin.



  • @lolwhat said in Open office plan WTF:

    @wft isn't Carrie in Germany, one of those countries that recycle everything?

    UK.

    @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    @CarrieVS Can't you just procure some cardboard at a supermarket's dumpster? Old boxes and other such.

    I think I would get a) strange looks and b) told off by the tidy office police.



  • @CarrieVS can the tidy office police be told to fuck off and find better things to do? What they'll invent next — getting rid of walls in the toilet stalls to promote communication between employees?


  • :belt_onion:

    @Gąska said in Open office plan WTF:

    a rainbow-colored WordArt surrounded with unicorns.

    Pics or it didn't happen.



  • @Greybeard I wish I could post it, but the contents probably counts as confidential, so there's a slight chance I would get in trouble for that.



  • @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    In a country where recycling is a god, isn't reuse a good thing? They pay actual money for recycling, so giving cardboard away for free isn't a sin.

    Iunno about Germany, but coming from another EU country, I know that most if not all businesses strictly forbid giving away anything for free, because it's hell to account those things for tax purposes.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    can the tidy office police be told to fuck off and find better things to do?

    Just put the fake partitions up around the desk of the office jerk instead of your own. Label it with “$HATED_BIG_MANAGER, KEEP OUT!” for extra giggles.



  • @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    @CarrieVS can the tidy office police be told to fuck off and find better things to do? What they'll invent next — getting rid of walls in the toilet stalls to promote communication between employees?

    You’re talking about the UK, where this could probably be considered a typical urinal:



  • @wft They claim it's H&S. Besides, I'm socially anxious and afraid of confrontation.



  • @Gurth said in Open office plan WTF:

    @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    @CarrieVS can the tidy office police be told to fuck off and find better things to do? What they'll invent next — getting rid of walls in the toilet stalls to promote communication between employees?

    You’re talking about the UK, where this could probably be considered a typical urinal:

    Only because of our monster Europeans :giggity:


  • Fake News

    European all over the place? :rimshot:



  • @lolwhat said in Open office plan WTF:

    European all over the place? :rimshot:

    If they are smaller, that's what will happen. You see the huge metal Wall plate functions not entirely unlike a jet blast deflector *1, except for you know, directing it down. The opposing wall is essentially just covered in a mattress, to soften the blast.
    *1 https://www.quora.com/When-a-jet-is-on-the-deck-of-an-aircraft-carrier-ready-to-take-off-there-is-a-large-metal-plate-behind-the-plane-What-is-its-function





  • @CarrieVS said in Open office plan WTF:

    In my country, cubicle farms are basically not a thing. Cardboard walls cost money.

    My current workplace not only has open-plan floorplates, but all the floorplates have one side open to a central atrium that spans all three stories of the building and links it to the one next door. And this is one of the smallest buildings on the site: some of them have four floors and three connected buildings. Whether it's purely the size and number of people working effectively in one room or something about the acoustics (bare metal girders everywhere, which is modern and trendy and I'm sure it's just a coincidence that it also costs less not to cover them with anything) contributes to the noise level I don't really know, but it's pretty bad.

    And we don't even have dividers between desks that back onto each other.

    I remembered that when I was being interviewed for programming positions at an outsource contractor of BOC, while I was waiting outside I see a pack of programmers (oh, it's over 7:30pm at the time) not only working in open area, but with 2 or 3 of them sharing a desk, and no drawers or so on. When the interviewer come, I thanks for his time and said I don't want to work at a place like that and turned away.

    On the other hand, I did work somewhere as contractor of government where although it's open area office, the room is at the remote side of entrance so basically nobody except the related staffs will come, and only come like once a week. My SA and BA both are busy coding/verifying result so for the most time the room is quiet. The best thing is there's no management level people who get into the way of our work, so I don't exactly mind working there. (Of course, like most government departments their staffs leave on time and will ask us to leave so they can lock the doors. :P )



  • @cheong We also don't have drawers, although we do have lockers. And I'm working for a governement department but no-one chases us out on time, and at least in our team most of the devs are usually there late, to the point where I sometimes feel uncomfortable about leaving on time if I have no need to stay.


  • Winner of the 2016 Presidential Election

    @CarrieVS said in Open office plan WTF:

    @cheong We also don't have drawers, although we do have lockers. And I'm working for a governement department but no-one chases us out on time, and at least in our team most of the devs are usually there late, to the point where I sometimes feel uncomfortable about leaving on time if I have no need to stay.

    Here's a pro tip from a guy who usually stays late — don't feel uncomfortable if you've put your time in, and don't stay either. We often stay late because other people leave. It's easier to focus after 90% of people have left.



  • @Jaloopa said in Open office plan WTF:

    @CarrieVS said in Open office plan WTF:

    And we don't even have dividers between desks that back onto each other.

    Wow. I've never worked somewhere that bad

    Ours are only 6 inches tall. Thankfully, my back is to the windows - I'll deal with glare if it avoids people walking behind me.



  • @CarrieVS said in Open office plan WTF:

    I think I would get a) strange looks

    *shrug*

    and b) told off by the tidy office police.

    Oh well...



  • Interesting how people have different reactions. One team I work with recently took down all of their cubicle walls (on their own), used some of the pieces to make 3 "quiet areas" (there are about 20 people in this team) with the reset completely open and the workstations grouped (and moved) based on who is working on what for the day(s)...

    They love it...

    Perhaps it is more that people don't like change forced upon them, and would prefer to be in control of the environment they spend a significant portion of their life; rather than any "good/bad" of a specific environment....



  • @Gurth said in Open office plan WTF:

    @wft said in Open office plan WTF:

    @CarrieVS can the tidy office police be told to fuck off and find better things to do? What they'll invent next — getting rid of walls in the toilet stalls to promote communication between employees?

    You’re talking about the UK, where this could probably be considered a typical urinal:

    The men's are even worse!



  • @JazzyJosh Good noise cancelling headphones. They completely block static noise and soft sounds and make your colleagues sound like they are in another room (with the doors open). Go for the latest models of one of the major brands, they do cost more than $/€300, but the rest is crap if you want silence without listening to music.

    I bought them a month ago and they're so good that they might even replace the concentration-enhancing AD(H)D meds that I need to function at all in an open office environment.


  • SockDev

    @pixelbart201 said in Open office plan WTF:

    @JazzyJosh Good noise cancelling headphones. They completely block static noise and soft sounds and make your colleagues sound like they are in another room (with the doors open). Go for the latest models of one of the major brands, they do cost more than $/€300, but the rest is crap if you want silence without listening to music.

    I bought them a month ago and they're so good that they might even replace the concentration-enhancing AD(H)D meds that I need to function at all in an open office environment.

    indeed. this is a good thing

    i bought these and an extra battery and they have been serving me well for almost two years now.

    money well spent.



  • @cheong said in Open office plan WTF:

    I see a pack of programmers (oh, it's over 7:30pm at the time) not only working in open area, but with 2 or 3 of them sharing a desk, and no drawers or so on.

    programmers

    no drawers

    :giggity:



  • We're going to be moving to a new office, which will, once the construction is complete, be much nicer than this one. Except that someone bigger than us ran in and bought all but one floor of it while we were negotiating. So they're putting all the devs at tables designed for flex employees, and are only just beginning to understand that devs really do like having more than one monitor.

    I'm looking forward to it overall, but... there are really some issues with the plan.



  • @Magus said in Open office plan WTF:

    devs really do like havingrequire more than one monitor.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.